Light of the Lion

Those two posts are very good and something I encountered with my fwb last night has me wondering if I’m going through the same thing. It’s in my journal but the story isn’t as noteworthy as my actions which were to seek out pua advice on things that I probably would not have cared about normally. This is an example of the subs trying to force me into something while I believe my default mindset is fairly alpha. However, because I have subs pumping through my head asking me why I have problems with women, perhaps I am manufactiring them like a hypochondriac. Have you considered that angle?

Something else you said has me wondering something else as well: you said basically that some sub users have blockages to becoming naturally alpha. This hit home because I am an introvert and do not like being the life of a party, do not like parties, crowds, or large social gatherings. There is an alpha in history: Dean Martin, who reportedly would show up to parties only to greet people once, then retreat to his private room to watch movies. This is me to a T.

And so, while I agree the recon can be a disconnect between what the subs tell us to be and what we ourselves think we are, I also think, as a greater issue, subs may be trying to get us to act against our natural alpha behavior. Dean Martin is my best example of an introverted alpha who didn’t like socializing.

So, I have suspected for a time that the way for people like myself to see better results is to simply run subs that amplify our strengths rather than try to convert our supposed “weaknesses”. You may call this “rationalizing beta traits as alpha traits” but I doubt you are as alpha as Dean Martin was, and he hated socializing. In fact, lots of rock stars and movie stars do.

There is also the matter of the reticular activating system which will find whatever you focus on. If you are focused on finding problems, you will find problems. I think I read elsewhere that the subs have statements such as “what keeps me from attracting women?” in them. This is a terrible statement as one will manifest it as true. The per-supposition is that something keeps you from attracting women, which is ironically what your posts were about. So that doesn’t seem like a helpful statement to include in a subliminal.

Curious on your thoughts on these matters.

Edit: Also I have another anecdote to share that relates to this. When I first started sales I was very good at it, but I knew nothing consciously so I read books thinking I would improve. Well, the advice I used from the sales books I read actually DESTROYED my sales results because I had been doing a far superior way all along. This is very similar. When I trust myself and do my natural style of sales, I get results, while using techniques, I do not.

What passage of mine are you referring to?

Keep in mind, that all those posts were only directed at my personal situations. I am a natural extrovert, so when I am suddenly no longer talking to people or socializing and begin to reconcile that I do that because “I am above people”, then I am “rationalizing beta traits as alpha traits”. So I only talk about that. For an introvert, alpha behaviour can look very different as you pointed out.

The subliminals are not forcing you to do anything (this is pretty much impossible) neither will it make you act against your own nature.

Also, you cannot look at this so black-and-white. Everybody has an introverted and an extroverted side. We are all multifaceted. So if anything, a certain subliminal might push you to act out more of your social side but it will not make you become something you do not wanna be. One thing that could happen though, is that the subliminal will clear away traumas and limiting beliefs and you might start to let go of introverted behaviour as you just realize it was only caused by a traumatic event and your subconscious mind trying to save you from future ones (not saying this is the case for you). Subliminals are very serious self-developing tools that can hit quite deep.

What you are experiencing right now though, is certainly reconciliation. Text-book reconciliation like SaintSovereign would say haha.

We don’t know what is inside the scripts, and I strongly doubt that this particular sentence is included. Fire and SaintSovereign are pretty genii when it comes to subliminals. They definitely know what they are doing and if such simple sentences would be included, most users would probably not experience the outstanding results we are seeing.

I know why are you are bringing this up though. I have experienced something similar when I was going through some HEAVY reconciliation on Khan. You can just push through it or maybe you drop Primal Seduction and try out Primal instead to build a good foundation first.

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This one but I just realized that wasn’t you, so my bad:

In what way? I’ve never been a social guy but I feel like the sub is pushing me towards that, and it feels very unnatural. Also some other things.

Yeah I’m definitely considering Primal over PS but PS has masculinity in it while I didn’t read that in Primal.

Oh, I see now what you mean. Yes, I have written that.

Reconciliation is very tricky, it will make use of anything to persuade you to stop listening to subliminals. This reconciliation you are going through right now will pass and then you will clearly see that these subliminals are not forcing you to become somebody you don’t wanna be but instead are shattering traumas, limiting beliefs, making you truer to yourself and guiding you to become the best version of yourself. But it is a long process and sometimes you will be going through phases of reconciliation that are not pleasant in the moment.

You mean Godlike Maculinity? There are a lot of misconceptions about Primal because it does not contain a module list. Primal is going to make you very masculine. Maybe even more than PS in the beginning as it is far less dense. I would personally recommend you to switch to that.

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Yes but if you say they don’t make you do anything you are not naturally, then why does it feel like it’s pushing me to be how I’ve never been before?

Yes godlike masculinity. And ok I’ll switch to Primal. I just didn’t know if it had the masculinity which is why I was hesitant.

Log Entry #4

Yesterday, I was going to the birthday party of my best friend from university.

It was a VERY WEIRD night lol.

For the first time, he was mixing two groups, us his university colleagues, and his other friends mostly still from school. I never understood why he was always so reluctant that we meet his other friends.

I arrived at his place two hours late as I still wanted to listen to a loop of Libertine :wink:
One of the big things that changed since starting LightbringerQ and running high loops is that my anxiety before social events is decreasing TREMENDOUSLY. I could cry with joy when I write this. Even though I am naturally an extrovert, social events were always haunting me with waves of anxiety and worrying before attending them, especially when I was going into a social setting I am unfamiliar with or where people might not like me. Khan was the first subliminal that was helping in that regard, but mostly at the moment and not with the nervousness before an event. Now, I am approaching a state of being where I
am so comfortable and confident in myself that I am not even breaking an unconscious sweat before any social event, no matter what people I will meet there. No negative thoughts, no worrying. Me going for a night out is like going to the supermarket.

So, I was in a very good mood when I arrived at his place. I was looking for a parking spot, when another girl pulled in who seemed like she was also going to the party. Her looks were very similar to Dakota Johnson with an adorable face but her being very tall, quite a lot taller than myself. I will refer to her as Dakota Johnson for the rest of this post. I immediately approached her and opened a conversation (which is very unlike my old self). We had quite a lot of fun and it took some time until we rung the bell and got let in. My voice was sharp as fuck and I oozing off cockiness and confidence.

Having such a nice girl on your side when joining a party is always great because it shows preselection, so I was secretly smirking inside when a past fuck buddy of mine (let’s call her Siren, referring to the mythology as she is quite successful at persuading you into sex) was opening the door and seeing the two of us having a good time. Siren is currently in another (“open”) relationship, and I have not seen her in ages. My best friend, the host of the party was yelling my name when he saw me, running to me and hugging me like a small kid seeing Santa Claus and totally forgetting to greet Dakota Johnson as he was so focused on me lol. Dakota was looking at me with an expression like: “WHO ARE YOU :star_struck:

I greeted all the people there, especially the people whom I did not know yet, and then hung out and chatted with my college friends first for a while. The girls tested me a bit as I am growing out my hair and I look like Conan The Destroyer (not as handsome as with short hair), but some shit like that is not able to put me in my head or break my frame haha. They were all still a bit closed up, especially the people I just meet, so I motivated everyone to drink me with me. I noticed right away, that some of the boys seemed a bit queer, especially the ones that were very very nice to me haha. I got everyone to join me in a drinking game, and I immediately noticed the Bambi eyes and deep eye stares and from Siren.

I went with my best friend on the terrace when Siren came and joined us. My best friend was drunk at this point, and we were trying to get some answers from him regarding how it goes with a relationship with another girl when he suddenly told me he is bisexual for a long time. I was totally shocked and thought he was just joking at first but he was serious. I have nothing against any type of sexuality, but the issue is that we were always quite intimate. I thought this is just his natural personality, that he needs a lot of love, hugs and physical contact and it is just fun and a way to make the girls around us more chilled with close proximity but it never crossed my mind that he could see us as more than just friends lol. Man, I was frequently visiting saunas naked with this guy, not suspecting anything. So this was quite a revelation for me, as you can imagine…

He was trying to get me to make out with him for the whole night (seems like the Aura of Libertine v3 also works for guys lol) but I blocked all his flirt endeavours with a hard cold shoulder and tried to hook him up with another girl, which also worked successfully. I then changed the room and saw Dakota again.
I immediately started talking to her, which is again so unlike my old self, as I had always problems beginning a 1:1 conversation especially with strangers. “I don’t know what to say” was a limiting belief that was still fucking me over two weeks ago, especially when I was as sober as this night. Before, I pretty much always did my seduction in group settings where I had somebody that validated me and initiated topics and I was then just pulling in the girls by making it fun and exciting, building up sexual tension and isolating from there.

So looking back, I am extremely impressed how quickly I was initiating this conversation with Dakota. It felt like I went from conscious incompetence to unconscious competence. We chatted for a few minutes and her eyes were speaking clearly how bad she wanted me. I was not even done building the desired level of sexual tension when she went in for the kiss.

From the side of my eye, I saw Siren watching us. I could see her frustration but also how fucking horny we made her. She then took her best friend and started to make out with him and then pushed themselves onto us so that I definitely see her. I already know this behaviour from her from back in my Khan days when I was at her birthday party in a bar when she and another two girls were fighting for my attention and validation as I built up the sexual tension with all of them to unseen levels hehe. She back then also made out with her best friend (she has no sexual interest in him whatsoever) in front of me to make me jealous, show me what I would miss or just because I made her so horny. I left with another girl and she then began seducing the barkeeper and went with him. I really love her for how persistent she is when it comes to sex lol. A lot I can learn from her.

Okay back to this night. So I was making out with Dakota, and Siren and her best friend were kissing and this somehow started a chain reaction. Maybe, my Libertine Aura got expanded in the whole room or they all got so horny from seeing us because suddenly a whole lot of people were kissing each other. My best friend with another girl and boy, some other boys with each other and even one gay boy with another girl (seems like he probably bisexual then lol). All next to us. It was just crazy.

Anyway, back to Dakota. I was then progressively turning her on, rubbing her inner tights, letting her touch my dick through the trousers. She was incredibly wet and I knew I needed to properly isolate her now. I wanted to fuck this girl so hard and already envisioned it. I did not even have any anxiety or nervousness at all this time (remember I still struggled with anxiety attacks regarding sex when sober a few months ago). There was just one problem. In this apartment, there is just one private room I could use qand I felt like I need to ask my best friend beforehand. Looking back, I should have just gone for it and excuse me later. I went to him, pretty much expecting a yes when he was telling me harshly: “NO! I don’t want you to fuck another girl in my room like you did the last year on my birthday”. I could not really argue with that, no matter if this was his true reason or not.

Instead of going back to Dakota directly, I played another party game with my friends when my ex who was also at that party started to flirt with me. We lay down on the couch when we came closer and she began to lay on my chest and hug me from the side. She probably wanted to kiss me but I did not want that. Another girl joined us and we cuddled like that. While, I was only interested in Dakota that night and did not wanna kiss either of these girls, I must say I really enjoyed it.
Dakota was seeing us and walking away and at this point I really fucked it up. She wanted that I fight for her and I should have gone with her instead I enjoyed this cuddle session far too much and just stayed. It felt good to reconnect with my ex as since our breakup we have not really talked much. Dakota then gave me another chance to go with her and I was stupid to understand it at that moment because I thought I had her safe that night. She probably thought I was making out with these girls, and she then left the party. I could not even properly goodbye her. Looking back, it really was a stupid situation but I feel like I have self-sabotaged at this point which just shows me that I still have not fully let go of my fear of having sex when I am not drunk or know the girl very well.

For the rest of the night, we climbed on the roof top and smoked a joint. We took some blankets with us and I ended up laying between my best friend and my ex. I was cuddling with my ex when my best friend was trying his thing on me again. Left next to my best friend was laying - as it turned out - his gay fuck buddy and these two were doing also some very weird stuff next to me. Man, this is all so fucked up haha.

But I am totally impressed how well Libertine v3 Ultima works even though I have been running 12 loops of Q customs a day for the past 10 days without rest days. It seems like I am executing it better than ever before, and the combination with my customs is unbelievably awesome.

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I am going to travel to Kyrgyzstan tomorrow.

As I most likely won’t have access to power or internet I will take 2 weeks of washout for the whole time I am there.

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happy and safe travels!

Log Entry #5

I am back from my vacation and it was just UNBELIEVABLE.

After two years on this forum, this is the first time I am sharing some pictures from my life. The black spots in the pictures are where I masked the people in it haha.

I was traveling with my family and with close friends of my parents who also took their daughter with them. Let’s call her Nala (being a reference to The Lion King). She is a stunning, incredibly talented, smart, loving girl who has a Lion’s Mane I totally adore.

BACKSTORY BETWEEN NALA AND ME

I actually know Nala for almost ten years but we have only seen each other one some parties (max once a year for a few hours) because she moved out pretty early and is studying in another city, so we never spend a lot of time together nor did we get to know each other properly. We do have a back story, however. On New Year’s Eve when we were both still young teenagers, we made out. I actually had almost a girlfriend at that time but there was something about her…
The kiss was pretty bad and she was very sexual and progressed very fast towards my pants. Just a few days before that, I was with my almost-girlfriend where I experienced the first time in my life Premature Ejaculation and with that an absolute shocking trauma. Nala’s sexual moves let my brain in total panic mode and I basically went into shock-induced paralysis lol. That’s pretty much where Nala’s and my affair ended but since then I have always felt a very strong (sexual) spark between us.

Let’s year, when I was running my Terminus custom with New Beginnings inside, Nala invited me to a party and in my head, I began to relive the above trauma which gave me almost a panic attack:

The above was initially triggered by a simple invitation from Nala and the possibility in my head that I might repeat my trauma with her at her party. In the end, I could not even attend the event because of that panic attack. Looking back it was not only New Beginnings and my traumas causing those anxiety attacks but also my vegan diet. The lack of usable fats and the high fruit content made me live in a state of constant fear and anxiety. Happily, I have left this chapter far behind me now with the change to my Primal Diet which is high in raw fat that soothes the nerves and decreases anxiety in general tremendously. But this really is a prime example of how much nutrition is truly affecting us without us realizing it. Obviously, Dragon Reborn and New Beginnings helped here too by specifically destroying those traumas, but without the change in diet, I would still lay crying in my bed out of fear.

Anyway crazy to see that only 8 months ago, I had so much anxiety that I could not even meet Nala.

Washout:

Okay, so back to my vacation. For the whole two weeks, I was taking a well-deserved subliminal washout after my intensive listening schedule of 10+ loops a day.

What is really interesting, and I am only realizing it now after contemplating about the trip, is that in each week I had distinct manifestations or learning experiences regarding my cores Primal and Emperor. I count Wanted to Primal here because it doesn’t make sense to differentiate these two. So as I don’t have time to talk about everything, I am only going to write down my experiences regarding those cores.

Week 1:

In the first week, I did not notice much difference from when I was still running the titles. However, I could feel the auras slowly fading away. My internal perception, with that I mean how I think and feel about myself, stayed the same.

PRIMAL

I was excited to see Nala again. The moment she came up running to me to greet and hug me, I instantly fell in love with her. I don’t know what happened but the emotions overcame me. This is something I already experienced the last time I was running Primal two years ago. It has a tendency to make you fall for a girl, maybe even obsess about her and you being together but without it being needy, creepy or comes with any sort of attachment. So for me, it feels very honest but it is distinctively intense. For example, the second night in Kyrgyzstan, we all went to a club together and there was a huge shampoo party where you actually got wet. Sidenote: Russians do know how to party ahah.
We were dancing wildly, Primal kicking here strongly making me unleash my best moves in a total carefree manner (without needing booze). Primal manifested me a lap dance from Nala, and later I ended up alone with her for a minute and for some reason we began holding hands. When our hands touched, I felt like I got struck by a lightning, the electricity between us was surreal. That‘s what I mean with intense. Wanted and Chosen of Venus are most likely also contributing to it, as I really have never experienced something like it. For whole time, I was questioning myself does she experience it similarly? Like I cannot be just me, can it? This really made me crazy, and very horny haha.

EMPEROR

Nala’s mum was the one who was initiating and organizing the whole trip. Normally she is chill and a lot of fun. But it turned out on trips like these, she morphs into a dominant dictator Queen that wants that everything happens according to her plan. And while she asks for our opinion, the moment you suggest something different she starts to attack you on a personal level.

For me, this is an absolute horror scenario. I grow up as a kid to be rather shy, especially in regards to strangers. I hate nothing more than when a stranger attacks my views in a social setting with more people present. Strangers are basically all people for me where I am not sure how well they will respond to me / like me when I am saying or doing something they dislike or have another opinion on.
I just want to be liked, loved and accepted and I probably fear that the people around me will stop doing that once I get involved in an argument with them. The less I know the people, and the higher their status is, the more I hold back. That’s probably also the reason why I am struggling to initiate conversations with strangers and prefer to just give short funny replies instead of talking for a longer time myself. It also explains why I always struggled with hot girls but not mediocre girls, because I was totally loose with girls I am not at all or less interested in but cared far too much how the attractive girls like me and tried to unconsciously “not fuck it up with them” resulting in me expressing two very different behaviors. Those are the leftovers of a very hurtful trauma when I was 14 years old in a school far from home for a year and my first ever girlfriend (who was the highest status one) told all the other girls in my class to no longer talk to me after we broke up.

Anyway, back to Nala’s mum that had her and my family wrapped around her finger as nobody dared to really stand firmly against her because nobody wanted the stress in the holidays. So one day, the Emperor in me felt like it is a good idea that I will take that position (The Forge module).

The argument itself doesn’t really matter. It was basically just me giving a good suggestion to stay a bit longer at a beautiful destination instead of hurrying to get to somewhere when there is no reason for it.

This ended in a massacre.

Nala’s mum got triggered so hard from this, started to bring up stuff from the past, and began to personally attack me and the people who agreed with me. So most people tried to just calm the situation down by agreeing with Nala’s mum (including Nala).

It was essentially the perfect situation that I unquestionably hate. :upside_down_face:

Though, I kept my absolute cool :slight_smile: I did not care at all who agreed with me or not, I did not back down and I did not let myself down to her level and become personal too. No, I was just standing my ground with a commanding, dominant but friendly tone and let her play herself out.
In the end, it was pointless to further argue about such a small thing so we all agreed on the initial plan of Nala’s mum, and I left the room with Nala and another person. When we left, I literally thought the two would come and immediately tell me “How could you”, especially as they were not really on my side in the argument.

At that point, I would not have cared much but actually, the exact opposite happened and they even complimented me, bashing her mum instead. Nala explained how her mum‘s behavior was actually very traumatic for her as a child and how her dad always acts like a Neutrum, just plainly agreeing, and if she does not do the same her mum keeps on going with the argument forever and never forgets and forgives it and that‘s why she often stays quiet in general. We made fun of the whole situation but it definitely felt good for everyone to talk about it. I could feel how much Nala respected me now and maybe even got turned on that there was finally somebody manly enough to confront her mum. I could also feel how she too got empowered by this. It is funny because Nala and I are basically mirroring ourselves going through very similar life lessons. This was actually a really great learning opportunity for everyone and for me, it definitely cleared up some of my trauma as I proved to myself that I can stop caring so much what other people think because first of all nothing bad happened and second of all I do not need others approval because I am always perfectly fine to validate myself.
I still have a long wait to go but it is the first step because letting go of traumas does not happen when you are alone meditating in a dark room. That might make things easier but to really move past traumas you need to go out and take action to prove to yourself over and over that the trauma is no longer relevant and you no longer need its protection. That’s the beauty about Emperor (especially in combination with the module “Furious Ascent”) because it really pushes you strongly to go out and expand your comfort zone to surpass all limitations.

By the way, the next day Nala‘s mum came up to me and apologized; though as far I understood this will not prevent her from using this incident in another fight if we ever have a second one haha.

Week 2:

The second week was when I started to notice the effects of the washout more strongly and less pronounced results from my customs. When you are running subs your mind seems to be hyper-focused on acting out the goals of that title, but when you take a washout for longer than a week it feels like you are getting pulled out of this tunnel and begin to see the whole picture. You basically begin to enter a „mode of contemplation“ leading to great introspections and insights. This applies to general topics like your personal life choices, purpose, ideas, how to resolve problems, but for me it also manifested in ways how to integrate parts of the scripting on a whole other level through consciously answering certain questions with the gained bird-eye-view, which seemed to open up the foundation for my subconscious to integrate and drill the scripting much deeper into my personal core (instead of acting alpha, becoming alpha).

I also talked about this with SaintSovereign:

So based on his recommendation, I decided to take a 50 days washout. Writing this right now, I think it is day 33 or so.

Primal:

In the second week, I got closer with Nala, however, I noticed that she was holding back. For example, one day we were going out riding horses. I got a black one and she a white one and we were riding into the sunset. It really was a scene just like out of a romantic chick’s movie. When we came back, the night began to set and in front of us appeared the most wonderful night sky I have ever seen. Thousands of stars and multiple falling stars and a beautiful almost full moon. I was still just lightly dressed from the horse riding so I got really cold. She quickly went for her blanket and covered us two, and we began to cuddle. This turned me on and I am pretty sure she felt my boner as we were that close but did not seem to be bothered by it. We stayed like this for a whole while and I began to build massive amounts of sexual tension.

Nothing happened. With that view and this amount of sexual tension, we should be already making out and undressing ourselves. So I knew something was up.

I suspected that she might have a boyfriend even though she had plenty of great moments to tell me but never did, just as if she does not want to tell me. So I went to bed (alone) and actually had a dream where she was introducing me to her boyfriend. As I am often having clairvoyance dreams, I trusted this to be a good confirmation. Two days later, she finally told me but it wasn‘t under 4 eyes and it seemed like it accidentally slipped through her mouth.

Anyway, I did not let my mood get influenced by that nor did I change my behavior towards her lol. Most of the time she is living in another city so it is obvious that most of the time she will not be single. No hard feelings.

On the last day, we planned to go to the club again. I was changing in my room when she knocked. I thought it was somebody else, so I opened it being half-naked only wearing underwear. I cannot remember the exact details but I think I asked her if I should put something on and she replied that “it‘s fine she likes what she sees” or something along the lines haha. She wore a stunning short dress and some very subtle make-up and it looked incredible. We would make such a beautiful couple ahah.

Anyway, we all went to the club and started dancing really wildly again. I am really great at just letting go and dancing to the music and it looks pretty great even though I have no idea what I am doing. I got checked out again by some girls but I am not interested in that particular Asian-type, so I did not bother. One thing, Primal made me aware that I need to learn how to dance with a girl. I need to either find or create my own dance that can be used for every type of music but especially electro, hip/hop, house, or whatever is played in clubs or pretty much everywhere. It needs to be a dance that is totally easy, no pressure for the girls in the beginning that I could even dance with my grandma without it being weird but it then progresses into increasingly sexual and closer moves. It needs to be so easy that every girl on this planet can dance it just by me leading her and look and feel sexy doing it. Some moments dancing together, some moments just next to each other, and then some really sexy moves that built a lot of sexual tension. Even better if I can do it with two girls simultaneously as this takes the pressure away even more and then I can move on into a single dance and then sexy dance. If somebody has any suggestions, please let me know! Basically Salsa but easier and suitable for electro music.
That’s how the contemplation mode manifests on Primal haha

We had our flight very early the next day, so we decided to leave the club early.
I did not want to go and just danced some more with Nala on the dance floor. It got really late and the others waited for us and got a bit angry, so Nala began to try to get me from the dancefloor so that we can leave. First, she tried some sexy moves to persuade me to go and then she tried to physically move me. It was hilarious as she could not even move me one bit. In the process, I was building some more sexual tension and if I am correct there was a moment she really had to catch herself to not kiss me haha. We then all left the club and Nala and I put an arm on each other’s waist and walked like that like a couple.

Back in the hotel Nala and I hugged and went to each other’s room. I laid in my bed and thought „Fuck it man. Was this all?“. I thought about trying one more thing, which is totally beyond my comfort zone because the risk of rejection is almost guaranteed. I put on some music on my phone, started brushing my teeth, and went to her room (the music and brushing were just for the purpose to give the impression that I am totally chilled, not desperate, and just by chance had the idea to come to her lol) and knocked on her door asking her sincerely if we just want to „cuddle for the night. Nothing more“. She declined that she really needs to catch the sleep because she has a really busy week ahead (which is not a lie). I just put on a smile, good-nighted her, and turned around when she added from the back that I can stay and finish brushing in her room if I like. I agreed, but I pretty much immediately finished brushing, spit in her sink, and then left because I remembered that I left my door fully open haha.

I laid down in my bed but was really happy because I again went far out of my comfort zone because I am never so logically in my seduction or do such moves where I put myself forward and with that make clear that I like her (because ‚asking‘ a girl only works in movies and is almost ever declined).
My style of seduction is basically to make the girl so horny that she wants to rip my clothes off or feels the need to isolate us because she is no longer comfortable with that level of sexual tension to be in a room with more people. And this works pretty great normally :wink:
But I was very happy that I pushed myself and so I decided to put on some very loud music in my room that even the hotel staff had to come. I did no care haha.

On the flight back, it happened that Nala and I were sitting next to each other through some manifestations (even though I tried to sit away from her in the beginning).
She asked me if it is okay for me if she lays her head on my shoulder because she wants to sleep. I agreed - pretty happily but without showing her that - and we started to cuddle (as best as it is possible in a plane). Surprisingly, it was really comfortable, not only for her but also for me. I also fell asleep and had a really positive and happy dream, and this is how the whole thing ended.

Emperor:

In the second week, I had a major bloom regards my purpose and went into deep introspection and contemplation on what I wanna do in my life. As some of you know, I decided to drop out of medical school officially at the end of 2019 but have not visited any lectures for more than a year now. The biggest reasons were that first of all I experienced first hand how controlled, harmful and manipulative the medical and pharmaceutical industry is, secondly I could not picture myself in any of the many medical specializations to be ever fulfilled by working as a doctor and basically only giving medications to patients or becoming a surgeon and thirdly I found out that most of what medical school teaches is wrong by experiencing the healings effects of a diet consisting of raw milk, raw eggs, raw meat (like raw liver meat for example) which should have made me sick, probably even killed, if the standard medical theory is correct that microbes are the primary cause for diseases. I went more in-depth about my reasons in my last journal here: The King, The Star, The World - #21 by friday

That was more than half a year ago. Soon after starting this custom (switching from Khan to Emperor), I had a feeling telling me I should go back to medical school. To be honest, I thought this was totally impossible because I have not attended anything for over a year, neither the lectures nor any exams. However, I was talking with my best buddy from university and we actually checked that there is a slight chance of me being able to continue my studies and an even smaller chance that I might even continue the same semester like he is in without any break whatsoever. Not likely, but possible. For that to happen, there are a lot of bureaucratic difficulties that would require a lot of luck - if it is possible at all -, and obviously my total dedication to redo and pass all my exams without having ever learned the information in the first place.

When I went into this deep introspection mode in the second week of my washout, I suddenly knew what I want to do. I was driving in a car around a beautiful landscape in Kyrgyzstan when it suddenly hit me like thunder. For the first time ever in my life, I have discovered my purpose and nothing can stop me on my way.

So to make it short:

  • I am going to go back to medical school and get my doctor‘s degree.

  • After that, I am going to do a second degree and in „Human Nutrition“ in Korea or Japan as those are perfect countries for a raw diet. Most likely I will be doing a Ph.D. in that field, so at that point, I would become a Dr. Dr. haha

  • Now the most significant part and the one I struggled with the most in all those years. Instead of doing none or just one medical specialization, I am going to do TWO:
    The first one will be in microbiology, which I am hoping to complete at Stanford or Harvard in the US as they seem to have a great research team on the study of the microbiome, the field I am most interested in.
    For the second medical specialization, I will be going to Russia and do it in toxicology, the study of toxins and medications on the human body. Why Russia? Because they do have the most beautiful women and because they are pretty known for being skilled with toxins :wink: Most likely I will have more freedom to do my own experimentations there.

Do you sell how all these connect? How the combinations of all those educations will lead me to become the best expert in the field of nutrition and either completely debunk the Primal Raw Diet that I am currently on, or scientifically prove, maybe even develop it further and change the whole world with it. I just hope they give me the Nobel Price when I am still alive and not after I died :wink:
It certainly will be a great sacrifice as I am not planning to work in the two medical specializations I choose, which is very untypical and a bit risky if I am wrong (which is unlikely though). These medical fields are basically the ones where I am disagreeing with the most in regards to standard interpretation (microbes being the cause of disease, and taking medications is a good treatment option), so I study it to gain the knowledge to find the truth but with the intention to disprove it. There is no better way to destroy your enemy than from the inside. If I am wrong, I am wrong but at least I found my peace and if I am right I gain the potential to make a dent in the universe.

  • After finishing my education and doing the needed experiments, I will work for one year under a Specialist in General Practice and then open up my own private medical hospitals or “health centers”, finally helping people reversing their ailments by treating the actual causes and supporting them to achieve a lifetime of great health and free of disease, teaching those who are ready my gained knowledge so they become their own best doctor and making most medical specialists who treat their patients with drugs obsolete.

Finding my purpose was a direct cause of Emperor, however, it was greatly supported by the modules “Spiritual Reality Alignment”, “Wayfinder”, “Ego Adsum”, and possibly even “Omnidimensional”.

Okay, but shit I dropped out, didn’t I?

HEHE

The moment I came back I have seen some incredible manifestations. To the point, that it truly convinced me in the existence of god or an overarching universal consciousness.

#1 To be able to continue my studies I need to have done a nursing practica to a certain semester. The date has already past and I would need to take a break from college to complete it. However, some incredible manifestations took place and I am on my way to get this nevertheless. I am not going into detail about how this happened as the people involved could get into a lot of trouble haha. The incredible thing is how easy it was with pretty much zero effort on my part. I just asked and received, even though it is pretty much impossible to trick the system as I did. The universe is really pushing me to continue studying medicine as it seems to pull other people to support me on my way. It feels like I am driving on highway of manifestations, instead of a busy street. Probably, I need to delete the above once I am famous haha.

#2 To continue studying, I need to have at least visited a minimum amount of lectures. Luckily, due to Corona a lot of seminars are online and there are ways to make get ticked as completed. However, the date for having those registered was many months ago and with that, there is normally no chance to have them subsequently entered. However, one day I received a very nice email from a staff of my college. I have never received an email from them before. “Coincidently” she was also working for the department that is registering those lectures in my current semester AND in the last semester where I need them to be entered. I sent her a quick and friendly email and three days later I got an even nicer email back and the notification that everything was done to my liking :slight_smile:
Again, super easy and almost no effort on my part. And again, I will probably also need to delete this when I am well known haha.

#3 I celebrated my birthday 2 weeks ago and out of the blue I was gifted an Ipad. Besides being grateful for such a huge present, my first thought was “for what do I need an iPad?”. But I then remembered how I once had a similar experience with a totally surprising gift which turned out to be exactly what I needed a few days/weeks/months later.
Furthermore, the person who made me the present commented “I did not know what to gift you and then I recalled that you were thinking about getting an iPad for university 2 years ago”. With that in mind, I came home, watched some videos on the topic, and realized how great an Ipad would be for my studies.
I started using it the next day and let me tell you, this was a gift from god. I don’t know how I could even study without an iPad now. I am able to comprehend the material much faster, connect the dots, integrate the knowledge much deeper into my mind, and study at least 3x faster and with far more enjoyment. This gift pretty much acts as the foundation that I am even able to redo and pass all the needed exams.

Those three things happened between days 14-30 of my washout.

So I am now on my way to continue studying medicine just like I have never dropped out but instead continued and completed my studies just like normal.

All of this is scratching just the surface of the insights I gained during the time. But this post is far too long on its own already and there is no time and no point in writing about every perspicacity I gained during the washout. For example, I most likely going to change some modules of LightbringerQ which are the result of my contemplation on my seduction and social side from Primal during the second week, but I am going to elaborate on that once they are set and the new module pack released.

Maybe let‘s end this post with a quick summary of my washout.

Week 1: Acute results and learning experiences
Week 2: Contemplation mode and introspections
Week 3: Crazy Manifestations (Yggdrasil-Style)
11 Likes

How long did you use this stack and how many loops did you do before your washout?

I got the custom on the 12.06.21.

My first week consisted of around 5 loops a day with some occasional rest days.
Then in the second week I did a whole week of washout.
For the third and fourth week (that ended right before I went to Kyrgyzstan and started the 50 days washout), I did around 10-12 loops a day with no rest days but alternating between LightbringerQ and my Sex Mastery custom each day.

2 Likes

10-12 loops of Qv2 a day?

Yes, that is correct.

I journaled about the effects (good and bad) here:

Log Entry #1

Log Entry #2

Log Entry #4

1 Like

Why is that? You think the subs are too similar?

Outside of that, great read!
Too bad nothing happened with Nala, but then again, she has a boyfriend, right? Or did I miss that?

Under the Primal section, I wrote everything regarding Nala and seduction. It would not have made sense to open another category for Wanted because it also deals with seduction.

Yes besides some intimate moments, nothing happened between us physically :confused: She is living in another city anyway so I really have no problem with her having a boyfriend even though I am clearly interested in her, especially as I also had some other affairs myself after the vacation till now.

But I am sure this is not the end of the story yet :wink:

2 Likes

I am curious why have you choose Primal in your custom over something else, idk maybe PSIT for example?

I tried to explain that in Log Entry #3

Basically, it has two reasons (which go hand in hand):

First of all, I would not be able to pull of high loops with a core that is beyond my current reality like Khan because the reconciliation would be too intense.

And secondly, to be able to progress to that level and be ever able to execute Khan properly, I first need to built a proper foundation. Before you can be a playboy who has an exotic lifestyle dating multiple 10 out of 10 models simultaneously, you first need to become somebody who can regularly pull really hot girls and get rid of all your sexual traumas and inhibitions.
Primal focuses greatly on exactly this inner game, the foundational stuff, stripped away from the gimmicks like nice Auras (outer game). For example on Khan I had multiple women falling for me just because of my energetic state due to the outer game scripting but because I lacked a proper foundation I was often overwhelmed and could not take action on the opportunities properly. So Primal is perfect right now because it helps me to exactly get rid of that. After I achieved all the written goals on the sales copy of Primal, I am going to exchange it for Primal Seduction and after I achieved the goals of that program I am going to move to Khan. But this process will likely take some time.
I am basically baby-stepping my way to Khan.

Read Log Entry #3 and maybe the posts I linked there, it will elaborate even more.

3 Likes

So fucken on point!
This post needs a bookmark since many including my self are jumping into big programs.

2 Likes

Very nice explanation, I like it.

That is why I am running Ascension alongside Emperor to get a better foundation, plus twice of Rebirth :), I mean inside Ascension and Emperor.