Bruce Wayne: Business with Pleasure

I was specifically thinking of his visualization ability, but those are good examples too. :slight_smile:

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I would keep the custom as focused as possible, possibly only going for one core. Keep in mind, QL St4 is extremely dense on its own. My new 13 module custom gives me much less reconciliation and more results than my 21 module custom did (even after 2 months running). Less is more!

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Update to Day 4

Went to a bar yesterday with my buddy when we meet his dad there. Maybe I am crazy, but I felt like he was trying to seduce me, coming closer, looking straight into my eyes, etc. I don’t believe those were some conscious reactions and thoughts he acted out but more subconscious responses to my presence. Crazy

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Dreams today

Went on vacation with my parents. As in real life, I did drink heavily two days ago and recovered from my hangover yesterday. When we arrived, I had to do a blood test. I feared that they maybe find out that I was smoking weed a week or go but instead my lawyer, who conducted the test, presented that I would still have a BAC of 0.60 per cent. I told them this would be impossible as I would be dead by now but they just continued to be super serious about it. I then wanted to check the blood test and saw that they controlled all parameters, including vitamins and other nutritions. It looked pretty good but I had not the right balance between Omega 3 and Omega 6. Also, I missed certain Vitamins but I forgot the specifics.

I then happened to be at a dock, next to me waves crashing onto it. They became more rigid by the second and I took out my phone to record it.

Then I somehow ended with a woman together in a room, me packing my coffer. I was an older man with a wife and kids and she offered me to have sex for some exchange. I declined but she continued to offer it. I woke up with the feeling, I should have done it.
She represents a girl I have a trauma with, and the only way to get rid of it is to confront your biggest fears. The bigger the fear, the bigger the potential to grow. And with this one, I am switching between “anxiety attacks”, which are not so severe as real ones, and feeling awesome and confident. So these dreams are quite symbolic

I believe this is the biggest root of all my pain. It is also something which is indicated by my natal chart (astrology) and which I will need to overcome soon.

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Going to an event tonight gives me waves of anxiety

But I am NOT going to RUN AWAY from my fears

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Day 5:

New Beginnings sent me into an existential crisis today. I am feeling so down, unable to do anything, and just want to lay in bed. I have severe anxiety attacks that are coming in ways and even manifest physically with very light pain in the gut and chest area. Out of nowhere, I start crying like a baby…

I never have experienced something quite like it. Actually I am impressed that a subliminal can even have such an effect.

@SaintSovereign do you have any advice on how to deal with it?

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Cut back on the number of loops, take rest days. No need to brute force it — whatever your subconscious is working on needs time.

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Well I only have done 2 loops till now with 2 days of rest in between.

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DREAMS

Happened to watch two movies with my best buddy and a friend. One of them was James Bond: No Time To Die, which was probably the worst Bond movie ever. The edit was horrible and there was no real following story but only clips glued together. I cannot remember the other one, but we watched them simultaneously (20 min Bond, 20 min the other one, repeat).

Then I was in a room with people who I know but did not befriend in high school but they are pretty good friends with my best buddy. So we came there, and he got “invited” to the middle or the other end of the table, and I happened to be at the last end. I still had some fun there but it was not the same, and I felt alien. We continued so and there happened to be also my biggest crush in high school. Normally, I would fear anxious just sitting there with her, but not in this dream. I was neutral about it, relaxed and cool.
We later played cards and I got really really bad ones. At that moment, the parents of the boy who threw the party came and made fun of us. We did not know how to react and it was a strange situation altogether. Some people of the group did leave to help to carry something, so we were sitting there to fourth. Then another buddy from me appeared out of nowhere and started talking about his dick. He told me he is some sort of mutant and has a flower-sized penis which is also huge. Yeah… I don’t know. I made a joke that I prefer my dick and then the dream was over.

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Bruh i was like how the movie got leaked. You gave me a mini attack.

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You can watch it in the astral :wink:

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Day 6:

Ended up playing video games (Minecraft) all day long. When this happens, you know it serious… Playing video games was the first addiction I developed and solved when I was 14 and since then I completely turned my life around. NB or the reconciliation in general, brought it up and I could barely do anything else besides lying in bed and playing Minecraft.
At least in the evening, I felt like the veil was finally lifting a bit.

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Day 7:

There is a part of me that is so sensitive it just wants to cry all day for having needed to endure all the pain here in the 3D. It was here all along - now brought up by New Beginnings - it was covered for so long by my big inflated ego pushing me to do more… be more… to finally feel whole. Everyone is already whole but ever evolving. All that is needed is self-love: Forgiving, accepting and loving ALL aspects of you, whole heartedly and fully. The relationship you have with yourself is the relationship you have with ALL that is and ever will be.

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Day 8:

Went out with my buddies to watch a movie. I must say I do not even know why I am still friends with one of them. I really cannot connect with him anymore. He is such a “nice guy” weirdo nerd, drinking cacao all day, but when he is not your opinion he gets super passive-aggressive because he sees certain things, opinions, etc as LAW.

But in the end, I love him for teaching me a lesson. I had such a strong dislike and reaction towards him is because I was suppressing that part of myself who is like him, the little nerd inside myself. All my years since 5th grade, I tried to become this “cool kid”, becoming more social, more manly, more badass. And I succeeded, especially since running subs like Khan. But inside myself is still this little nerd that needs affection. When you love all of yourself fully and feel this love of yourself at all times, you radiate it towards others, regardless of who they are. Now that I learned my lesson I can break up the friendship and love him for his unique expression whenever we shall meet. But if similar people/events will continue to come up regularly in my life, I know that there is still more healing to do.

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Day 10:

Going through a lot of clearing and developing a new way to look at life’s challenges. This is what I wrote down today:

Every problem with life stems from an issue of non­acceptance, of NOT LOVING THE SELF. What we experience in infancy and childhood largely determines whether we grow up loving ourselves or not. Learning to love ALL OF THE SELF is dependent on the quality of our caretaker’s love for us. Too often we are loved only when we display those aspects of our nature which mother finds acceptable; we therefore learn at a young age to suppress what is unacceptable, and to present a FALSE SELF or safe face to the world.
When you loathe others for whatever characteristics they are the embodiment of, it is a part of YOU that requires healing. It is an insecurity of yours, a non­loving part of you. When you love all of yourself fully and feel this love of yourself at all times, you radiate it towards others, regardless of who they are. The relationship you have with all that is and ever will be is the relationship you have with yourself because your outside world is a mirror of your inside world and your inside world is a mirror of your outside. What this means is Love, accept and forgive ALL, wholeheartedly and fully. Gravity keeps the planets in place, gravity holds everything together; so is Love.

What if fear is an expression of not loving yourself?

What you really fear is inside yourself. It is a part of yourself that you do not love. That is non-loving. It doesn’t love because it fears. It fears not being loved. So you must shine love onto it.

What do I fear?

I fear rejection. I fear rejection because there is part of myself I do not love fully. The part of me being a weird nerd. This part is non-loving. It doesn’t love others because it fears. It fears not to be loved. So I must show it love, by shining my love onto it.

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Deep. Your reflection really resonate with me @friday!

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:heart: That is great to hear!

What spoke the most to you? What are you going to implement for yourself?

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The linl between love and fear. I’ve seen this, I’ve felt this. Before speaking to people! What if they don’t give me the love I want fpr myself? What if I try to get some love and fail. Why you feel that way? Because you don’t love that part of yourself, so you are sharing and hoping people will love it… If not…!

This is fear. Fear of not being loved.

I mean, it is really a work in progress, it is hard, some days you might just hate yourself, some other days you feel calmer and find easier to love yourself. It’s a work in progress always.

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Wow we really are on the same frequency right now. Love it!

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Thing is, I felt it this morning when speaking to people. I was shy and the only thing I felt was that “will that girl love me more if I talk to her?”. “will I get the love I need”. Fuck, it was hard. It was a little bit awkward, but you know, growth is not, comfortable.

I smiled at a girl, spoke to two other. Just for fun, I was a little bit awkward, but whatever! I really felt the need for love!

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