Sometimes becoming aware of our own not-always-so-positive behaviors makes us take a step back and have us wondering how the hell we should do things instead. It’s OK, just give it time and you will land in a place where you have more inner strength. And with that comes BOTH more tolerance and patience, but ALSO better ability to maintain your boundaries in a healthy manner. You’ll get there 
I hear you. Many times we do things we don’t understand why, and we wished we had acted differently… Like you said… with more self-respect, honor, and dignity… I’ts the same thing with this. If your heart and mind are somewhat stable, you won’t be as quick to that kind of anger and you will be better at expressing what it is that upsets you. This is why you committed to do the inner work in the first place. This was why you searched for a way to do that, and eventually came here to this community, no?
Good. Now remember that there WILL be ups and downs. That’s inevitable. But over time that will decrease in intensity, and you will be better equipped with dealing with them. Also Love Bomb takes the edge of that “aggressive” alphaness that’s not always helpful, and helps you create a deep yet silent strength
Yeah, I started thinking about this and what kind of information newcomers could find useful. Like an unofficial “guide” with what works and what doesn’t. Makes me want to put one together 
Well, I can only speak from my personal user-experience and not of how the subs works but… RVC mentioned some approaches to healing in this thread here, and when it comes to “Past healing” like DR and Khan… they are supposed to bring up stuff from the past and the deep so that you can properly process them. That require ALL of your energy and that is why they are so difficult, because processing the murky stuff IS HARD.
But yes, as people’s experience here will tell you: Healing subs takes precedence over any other title. BUT adding a soothing title like LB or CFW can help you alleviate some of that stress that inevitably comes from bringing painful stuff up to the surface.
Haha I am too autistic to be able to differentiate that but yea, you probably overexposed yourself earlier
Yes in part. But what makes the temperate steel so strong is this process of repeated heating and cooling, so that’s what I was thinking about.
I saw you got some great replies and feedback in the Ascension Chamber thread. What thoughts did they spark? Did you feel that you got some useful insights?
Also, I don’t know if this is relevant but a book that helped me was No More Mr. Nice Guy by Robert A. Glover. Have you read it?
Also, another great thread here is @DarkPhilosopher’s On being an alpha. I’ve found it gave me very useful perspectives and insights that I wasn’t aware of before. Give it a shot when you have the time!
EDIT: Another thing I just remembered… have you had any chance to read through some of the DR and/or Khan-journals so you can get an idea of what’s ahead in regards to healing?
But you know… for what it’s worth you can always recover from that loss… and remember you are currently in the process of putting yourself in a better place than you used to be… You’ll be able to gain it back, even if it sucks right now.