1xSanguine 15m. (First Cycle)
1xNew Khan (Stage 1) 15m. (Third Cycle)
Sanguine is just amazing. It quickly made me re-integrate practices into my life that used to give me good results but which I had dropped due to self-sabotage, such as Yoga Nidra and Kasina(focusing on the afterimage of a candle flame to induce deep states of absorption). These practices help me become calm in all situations and help me towards accomplishing one of the most important goals of Khan: to have a source of internal self-confidence and bliss that is independent of what is coming from others around me. Years ago, I had already noted down how surprisingly long-lasting the effects of Candle Kasina are(just 30-40m of it will create a state that lasts for the remainer of the day during which it creates a warm lull that seemingly surrounds you and puts you in a very relaxed but also highly alert state, where everything you see turns more vibrant in terms of its color and form).
I walked by an old neighbor today and she asked me if I was high. A few hours later, my mother asked me why I am in such a good mood for seemingly no reason(she thinks that I should be unhappy because I am unemployed and have next to no money and just got dumped by my long term gf last winter).
My ex, who wants to videochat with me more and more now, has asked me to lend her my glowing skin. Lol. All kinds of good results in just half a cycle of Sanguine and consistent practice.
Funnily enough, the state I’ve been in the last few days is really similar to how Radcliffe plays Harry Potter in this scene, while he’s high on the potion:
More importantly, I originally took up Sanguine to help deal with Khan TB’s punching my guts on a daily basis. That has worked out really well so far. While it is true that on the third cycle of TB, I’ve gotten fully used to the sub, to the point that full loops no longer cause that feeling of heavy processing going on all day, I haven’t experienced any massive emotional breakdown since that event at the beginning of the third cycle I noted above. Like before, I usually experience panic/grief in the evenings when I run TB in the mornings, but now they’re so fleeting and tamed that they’re barely noticeable. In the last two days, I felt very slight irritation and lack of focus for around 20 minutes maybe, but then it got quickly replaced by that strong feeling of freedom and relief that I’ve also gotten used to now.
That offline file I’ve been working on since the beginning of the second cycle has proven to be immensely useful and the focus of my daily re-reading and contemplation. It started off as Simon’s method adapted for Khan. But between the second and third cycle, I realized that I had become able to easily reframe all of the blocks and insecurities I could find in myself and intuitively knew how to counter them to become the man I want to become. None of the issues I listed have that sting they had when I initially wrote them. I’ve also greatly slowed down in terms of identifiying more issues and self-imposed limitations. The ones I find are becoming increasingly subtle. I am confident that by the end of the the third cycle, I’ll be ready to move on. However, it remains to be seen what I’ll experience during the washout, as last time, almost every washout day was a living hell for me.
I would also like to note that I went for full loops of Sanguine straight away, and have not experienced any noticeable recon whatsoever. It feels really gentle. Amazing sub, really. Like others, I’ve also observed that running Sanguine before the second sub seems to make the whole experience smoother. Likely because it just relaxes you so much, and opens up your mind.
So there is deep energetic consequence in meditation/ what you call inner silence, on top of regular meditation benefits.