Inspired by Raphael’s journal I decided to start my healing process. I think his approach to subliminal programs is very reasonable. First we need to clear out the rubbish (bad feelings, memories, traumas and limiting beliefs) then build strong foundations (using an alpha program or sth which would make us solid) and only then move to a specific area of development (wealth, sex, status, science, art etc.). I’ve been using subliminal programming (mainly; alpha, sex and status programming) for over five years but avoided using healing programs deeming I didn’t need any emotional healing. That programming did some healing but still I suspect there might be some detrimental stuff in my mind I should get rid off.
I could write a book about my childhood and negative experiences but to put it short I’ll say, I was discriminated due to my hair colour (red) by my father who used to treat me badly whilst he treated my siblings like kings. Of course I had problems related to my hair coulour at school, in the neighborhood… wherever I went. I was raised by my mother who loved me a lot therefore I used to be really sensitive emotionally. So for the lion’s share of my life I was torn between love and hate deep inside. I used to be an introvert and an outcast. I lived like a hermit till I was 32 (now I’m 37), detached from the world. When I was 20 my brother stabbed himself to death and it caused a huge trauma in me and deepened my escapism. His death still pains me… That mind programming changed me a lot, I have my own life now. I left my country (my home) and live in Thailand now. I have a good woman who loves me a lot, some money and my business plan. All seems to go well yet… after reading Raphael’s journal I just convinced myself it’s time to try emotional healing to try to get rid off the burden and then try to go back to Khan. Khan was a great experience but I didn’t run it right, I ran each stage for 30 days instead of measuring my progress and switching the stages accordingly. Well, now I’m a bit smarter and decided to try to do it right. I’ve also run StarkT for almost three months but I suppose it was too much for me since the results were below the average. The Commander changed the game but only for 3 weeks and then it slackened. Ok, let’s go.
I ran my new stack last night:
2 loops of Regenration Q
1 loop of Elixir Ultima
Just before falling asleep I had visions of random eyes appearing and disappearing and then visions of dragons… and at the end a vision of a dragon’s eye. When I woke up early in the morning I felt refreshed and energized. Now, at work I’m calm and solid. I like the feeling. I’ve stopped using The Commander therefore my vibe is softer but still masculine.
