Commentarii Draconis (AKA Trial by Fire)

“Contained within my being is every line of code that has ever or will ever be written.”
– Pluralsight, "A Guided Meditation for JavaScript Developers"

Celebrating 25 years of JavaScript making cyber-crime easier and page load times longer.

Surprisingly insightful, even with its comedic spin. You’d probably have to be familiar with computer code to get the funny parts though.

I liked the line I quoted above, makes for a great affirmation. Especially if you believe in the Simulation Theory.

I’ll get back to the healing quotes eventually. Still 3 and a half stages left to go. There’s time.


They tell me it’s my chronological birthday. I told them that the only gift I would ask for is for them to take a year off my chronological age. No such luck unfortunately. Anyways, happy birthday to me! I’ll drink a Corona to celebrate.

Too soon? :wink:


Well, I thought about it and finally figured since I haven’t done so in 2 years and given that it is a special day, I would allow myself to order McDonald’s.

Obviously, I don’t feel so good now that it’s digesting. But I don’t actually regret it. I’ll probably wait another 2 years though.


Woke up after 6 hours of sleep, the McDiscomfort is gone. Did some cleaning, drank extra water. Thursday’s exercise will have to be on Friday afternoon I guess, I’m not looking forward to it.

So today was a bit of a messy day and not very healthy. Better tomorrow.

I listened to 1 Elixir, 1 Reborn & 1 Alchemist.

“Follow your bliss and the universe will open doors where there were only walls.”
– Joseph Campbell

This gives me some frustration. Follow your bliss, what does that entail, really? You hear it so often as the solution to truly begin manifesting the perfect life, but in its simplicity it is apparently the most complicated thing to do.

How would you guys interpret those words? Follow your bliss?


This day was another messy day, so best I can do is a summation.

My body was still dealing with McBadCalories, so there have been a few more bathroom visits than usual. At least I’m glad my body is still very capable of filtering out the bad stuff.

I had intended to wake up, do a bit of housework, a bit of normal work then a guy would come over to install a water filter, vitalizer and softener.

But he came early and that’s when everything got messed up. We couldn’t actually reach the cold water supply, so ended up installing it only on the hot water supply with the intent that when the hallway floor gets torn open, to then re-route the cold water as well. It’s quite annoying and pretty much put a dark cloud over my day.


She is a beauty though. Also at 3000-plus simoleans probably the most expensive thing in my entire house. Which explains the dark cloud. When you spend that much, you want to utilize it fully, not halfway.

For those unfamiliar how this works, but wanting to know...

Water comes in, goes to one of those vats on the floor where resin beads pull the calcium and magnesium out of the water. Once that vat has been saturated, it pulls in heavily salted water from the container to the right. This water replaces the calcium and magnesium on the beads with sodium and then gets flushed down the drain. While it’s doing this, the hydrolic pressure going through those little colored tubes going between them alerts its partner to switch and it starts softening the water while the other regenerates. The end result is uninterrupted, soft and very slightly (read: unnoticeable) salted water.

After the softeners it goes to the metallic vat which contains a 1 micron filter that pretty much takes out everything that isn’t H²O. Then it goes through the vertical cylinder right next to it, which caused the water to spin into a vortex, supposedly restoring the molecular structure of the water, like how water from nature looks, removing any negative programming and making it ready to accept new programming (if you’ve never heard about programming water, you should look it up, it’s quite amazing and scientifically proven).

Finally, it goes to my water heater to give me amazing water. There’s a small faucet there which I can use to tap cold water from the filter for drinking and such. Not what it was intended for, but it’s a workaround.

Anyway, that’s it. Now to build a nice cabinet to conceal it since it takes up a lot of space and it’s not the prettiest thing on the block.

After the installation was done, which took hours, most of my day was done. I did some cleaning, picked up some stuff from the DIY store and finished off my day.

I never did get around to exercising, so next week will be a repeat of this week. I’m not unhappy about it, my neck, shoulders and legs are still in pain from all the presses and lifts. Almost like my body is conspiring to make me notice my age. I’m not falling for it, if I want to be 25 for the foreseeable future, then that’s what I’ll be.

No exercise, no food. Then again, that McStuff was enough for days. I’m curious what the scale is going to tell me after a Crispy Chicken, large fries, 20 Nuggets, an assortment of sauces and a large Shake.

Finally, I went to bed little before midnight and woke up naturally around 6.

And there’s my day.

I feel like I’m regressing. It’s like in the beginning when I didn’t find the time to do any of the things I wanted to do. I often ask Saint how he manages to do all that he does. He did sort of tell me, but I have no idea how to properly implement it.

I do hope I can get back to the healing. Almost three weeks left in Stage 1 before 2021 and Stage 2. I really want to keep going in the right direction.

Plus, maybe if I start the healing again, you guys will come back. I feel so alone in this thread now. Where are you guys?

Once again, I listened to 1 Elixir, 1 Reborn and 1 Alchemist.

That’s incredible.

Good for you.

I wonder what kinds of health benefits you’ll experience from this. Water is such a fundamental element of nutrition, functioning, and basic survival. It’s smart to address it.

I can understand the frustration with not getting the whole thing done in one go, because it takes a lot of willpower to make this kind of project happen.

The regression you’re experiencing; one perspective on it, is that it could be a kind of compensatory recoil from the energy and willpower that you’ve put out. The system will handle it, and will adapt to function at an even higher level. But you can expect some aftershocks or ups-and-downs as part of that process. That’s one take on it.

This phrase does get over-used. Like ‘mindfulness’ or ‘Quantum Physics’. It makes people feel the excitement of possibilities, so we sometimes use it emotionally without appreciating its actual meaning or context.

I think basically it means to trust in the value of Joy as an orienting principle. And to allow yourself to take (prudent) leaps of faith from time to time for the sake of growth and wellbeing.

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I’ve actually been wanting it for years, ever since a colleague recommended it. Finally got the budget for it. Subs have me on a spending spree with the philosophy of “why wait and deny myself the nicer things in life?”

I don’t know, but I hope I can start moving forward again soon.

And that is about as vague as the original statement. The value of capitalized joy?

The way I understand the principle is if you keep doing the things you like doing the most or that feel the most rewarding, you’ll start getting more and more of them and whatever you require to keep doing them, including money, will miraculously come your way.

Which makes it very hard, because few people can identify what makes them feel the most rewarded, and fewer still dare doing something that doesn’t make them money since they are always thinking about a future that never arrives since we’re always in the present.


“The great soul that sits on the throne of the universe is not, never was, and never will be, in a hurry.”
– Josiah Gilbert Holland

Well I am, so it had better get off its arse and start working for me!

What does this even mean?


Saturday started out okay, got a lot of stuff out of the way early. Then between waiting for two deliveries I sort of slowed down and the productivity tapered off. So once again not much to report. It’s really bugging me.

Between the exercise and the two days of fasting I did lose a decent bit of body fat.

I almost drank enough water yesterday. The water filter unfortunately needs a lot of water to pass through before it is fully operational. Right now the water still comes out a bit murky white. Good enough for showering, but I’m not gonna drink it.

I also did a bit of housecleaning. I love the feeling that happens when I get rid of unnecessary stuff in a room. Not only does it create more space in the room but it also gives a sense of clarity.

I feel I’m very close to becoming a DIY monster. I’ve been wanting to renovate parts of my house for ages now but never made those first steps. I think once I finally do, it’ll immediately become easier and I’ll be going room by room until I live in a place so luxurious people would go there on holiday. If only we still had a white Christmas, boy do I miss those.

Who knows, maybe it’ll turn out I end up having a passion for house flipping. I’ll admit, it does seem fun, although it may be the feelings of rapid gratification that come from seeing a place well-renovated. Either way, I would love to eventually purchase the houses surrounding mine and rent them out.

I managed to stay away from the candy, although I did get some pizza in return. At least it’s healthier…

The prospect of having the new dryer stacked on top of the washing machine is a bit scary, I keep imagining the whole thing will come crashing down the first time the washing machine starts spinning at the end of a cycle. Boy, sometimes I am glad I am not an instant manifester yet. Sometimes.

I got some unexpected extra Christmas cards from the neighbors this year. I guess it means I’m becoming more likeable. :slight_smile:

Finally I went to bed quite late, slept for about 4 hours and woke up naturally. I’ll likely get tired before long, but it’s nice to be up early in the morning.

I did manage to go through the entire stack, so Elixir and 4 loops of Reborn and Alchemist. Even probably got 2 Dreams in overnight.

Well, that’s about all there is to tell. I don’t know if any of it classifies as healing, but I feel okay about yesterday.

EDIT: Oops, forgot to answer Malkuth’s post.

My take is slightly different. ‘Keep doing things you like doing the most of that feel the most rewarding, and you’ll gradually get better at identifying what you like doing and what feels rewarding’.

That’s what I meant by ‘orienting principle’. One of our problems, from the point of view of a thinker like Joseph Campbell, is that we have lost much of our ability to hear the voices of internal guidance. We’ve forgotten much of how to orient ourselves using the constellations or how to find our way by means of a compass. So one part of the idea is that the more we practice doing this, the stronger, clearer, and more useful the signals become, and concurrently the more skillful we become in interpreting and applying those signals.

I think it’s less a recipe for a successful life, and more of an recipe for a meaningful one (though at some points, those may start to become the same thing).

Hi @DarkPhilosopher

How’s your experience with the Muse Meditation tracker? I’m thinking to get one for the holidays.

I saw some bad and good reviews about it… just need more info before i invest.

Thanks

So like changing the filter that we perceive the world with to notice more of what we’d like to see in it. In this case, all the opportunities to do the stuff we really like to do.

Or more practical, the guy that buys a screaming red Jeep and believes himself unique because he never saw any Jeeps with that color around. But once he bought it, he suddenly sees them everywhere, he simply never noticed them before.

I think even JCast can agree with that one. Nothing mystical about our internal perceptual filter.

It doesn’t explain how somebody that likes doing something that earns them no money seems to always have enough money to keep doing it though…

I like it so far. There’s an aspect of gamification in it where the more you manage to stay calm, the more badges, points and milestones you earn. Combine it with something like PLAYNE and meditation becomes a lot of fun. Not Wild Divine fun, but still a lot of fun.

From a scientist’s perspective it is fun to experiment what can break the meditative state and what doesn’t. I’ve been getting better quite fast with all the feedback given through the app.

It is remarkably hard to stay in the state. Like how when you breathe, every time you inhale your heart rate rises slightly and then drops when you exhale. The Muse sees a similar pulse going on in the brainwaves. The trick is to keep it low enough that it stays in the calm zone. I think my record so far is about 8 minutes uninterrupted.

I got the S-model which also registers sleep. Starting this month, it is supposed to register REM, light and deep sleep, as well as movement during sleep (sleeping on the sides or back). That seems interesting to know as well.

The sensors register my brainwaves effortlessly. Muse recommends using a bit of water to improve conductivity, I use a tiny bit of Aloe Vera gel instead, since it’s a very good conductor (great for TENS/EMS) and doesn’t leave any stains from the looks of it.

The annual subscription is initially not necessary as there’s quite a bit of content for free. I haven’t activated mine yet. Which reminds me, they’re having a challenge-series for which I still need to register.

The downsides for me are:

  • The fact that I’m old-school and don’t like constantly recharging batteries, which is pretty much a given if you want to track your sleep every night. I know batteries nowadays don’t need full cycles anymore, so maybe I’ll get used to it. I wish manufacturers still made batteries replaceable.
  • The idea that there is a Bluetooth broadcast right on top of my head all night long. It may be BLE, which barely does anything, but still.
  • I really would like to see the actual brainwaves (Beta, Alpha, Theta, Delta) that it registers rather than a summary of the state they produce. I think it’s possible to get raw data, but I haven’t looked into it yet.
  • The phone app apparently doesn’t turn off once it’s open, it needs the foreground. So my phone’s battery goes fast when using the Muse.

All in all I’m not unhappy with the purchase. I don’t consider it a waste of my money. It’s rare for me to truly think something was worth it, but this is close. All depends on me getting into the habit of using it more often.

Given the price, if you do get one, I recommend going straight for the S model. And of course, make sure you keep using it often enough to warrant the expenditure.

I don’t know if they still do the 50 bucks off. If not, maybe there’s a give-a-friend-a-discount code somewhere on my account, I can check if you’d like.


“The goal of life is to make your heartbeat match the beat of the universe, to match your nature with Nature.”
– Joseph Campbell

Who is this Campbell guy and what has he been smoking? Wasn’t he the chicken soup guy?

I like the quote though. Imagining there’s a pulse in the Universe and in Nature makes them feel alive, and the idea of reaching a harmonic state with it… I wonder what that would do mentally.


Another uneventful day, I guess it was mostly an uneventful week. I went out walking for an hour or so and spent most of the evening getting the top spot in Duolingo only to have that stupid app not register it.

I also tried out my new dryer. I know it sounds silly, but I do try and allow for the smaller things in life to make me happy, and getting a fluffy warm blanket out of the dryer and wrapping it around me is definitely one of those things that gives me a sense of fulfillment.

I got really tired in the evening, I even dozed off somewhere during a Harry Potter marathon. And when I did o to bed I once again slept less hours than expected. I like the idea that my body is starting to self-regulate my sleep.

And that’s about it, I guess I’ll have to be happy with the tiny changes.

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Thank you for the detailed review @DarkPhilosopher :smiley:

Combined it with PLAYNE? interesting…

8 minutes uninterrupted? wow!

Yup, thinking the S-model too, the design is better to get more accurate results.

Annual subscription? the meditation playlist thing? hmm

Yeah, wearing the Bluetooth enabled overnight might fry our brains. :sweat_smile:

is this a good deal?

List Price $349.99
With Deal: $297.49
You Save: $52.50 (15%)

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I think it is about what I paid for it, I got 50 off. But I got the storage case and subscription with it so I ended up a bit higher anyway.

As for that subscription, at 20 bucks it didn’t seem like a massive risk.

I’m beginning to think this is one of those ridiculous never-ending discount things that US stores often do. Always saying it’s discount pricing and that it’s about to expire, but always finding a new reason to keep that price.

It’s the easiest way to create scarcity, or as I’d like to call it: a tax on dumb people.

I do hope you have fun with it, or at least use it a lot to get your money’s worth. :slight_smile:


Well, I would have gone for lovable jack*ss, but sure why not. Let’s go with sarcastic existential nihilist (say that 10 times fast). :wink:

When I heard about Limitless Executive I was wondering how long it would take before it topped your playlist. It does save people from running the two titles back to back (like I used to do).

I find the Reborn/Quantum combination interesting. I’ve often wondered what would be nice to combine with QL, this one would not make that list.


You know there’s a reason why you can only tag 10 people in a post, right? Use the power wisely or become the boy that cried wolf. :wink:

I do seem to get the temporary tinnitus experience sometimes while listening, but I have yet to experience the experience you describe.

So you’re talking about an auditory hallucination? Like when you hear a knock that isn’t there (which sometimes really creeps me out)?


“Healing requires from us to stop struggling, but to enjoy life more and endure it less.”
– Darina Stoyanova


My regression is now at full power as even my sleeping schedule is back to being wrong again and I missed my exercise for this week again, meaning I’m back to square one.

I really wish that wouldn’t happen and that something would stick.

Anyway, I’ll suspend the journal until I end up going back in the right direction. Or maybe I’ll post once a week until then. No idea yet. But constantly posting that I’m disappointed with what’s happening is not the right thing contribution to make and it serves as a bad reminder to me when I should be focusing on the positive.

On thing of note perhaps, I sometimes catch myself feeling… content?.. with life. Perhaps even happy. That momentary experience of feeling everything in life is just right.

So ta-ta for now. I really wish I could give you more.

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By the way, Merry Christmas from somebody that has run too much Primal Seduction and too little Emperor Fitness.


It is my favorite time of the year, always sad when it’s over so fast.

May Santa give you all the presents you wish for.

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is that you? (this is a genuine inquiry)

If it is you, great pic, and props for posting it

If it is not you, great pic and props for posting it

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There is your wisdom, and the man who requested it.

I love you too

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Never-ending discount like Udemy :sweat_smile:

Also learning some of the reviews from youtube of Cody Rall.

Yeah, want to see like a chart or report if my meditation is improving. Especially it has some sort of game while doing it :grin:

Problem now due to the pandemic its how long will it ship to my location here in SEA :thinking:

I appreciate the help :slightly_smiling_face:

@Malkuth mastered Google reverse image search, he has. Spoil the fun, he did.

The idea that after all this time being cloaked in mystery the first photo to surface of me would be where I’m wearing nothing but underpants and suspenders cracked me up. Especially the thought where that is all I wear under the robe.

They actually go on and off. Although they do happen quite frequently.

I really like that aspect. Initially you get rain and birds. The busier your mind is the louder the rain. If you get your mind quiet, you start hearing birds tweeting. And at the end it counts the amount of birds you heard.

You also progress through a beginner’s course explaining some of the concepts. With every meditation you get to the next explanation. One of them is changing the background sounds, so it’s probably possible to change at least the rain.

While you wait, you could always read the Starter Guide:


“If you never heal from what hurt you, then you’ll bleed on people who did not cut you.”


Saint tells me my regression is an expression of reconciliation. That would annoy me.

I mean, a headache I would understand. Hitting a plateau I get. Getting a short fuse and being angry at everything would just make me angry. Turning into a JCast wannabe, well… I don’t know what to think about that.

But losing all progress and going back to square one? I don’t know how that is an expression of reconciliation. It’s so silly.

Anyways, while this is annoying me…


Had to go for my semi-annual dentist appointment. It is common knowledge that it is practically impossible to keep a dental hygienist happy, but in this case she noted I had done remarkably well. In Harry Potter OWL terms, that would be Exceeds Expectations.

Of course, she credited her superior equipment and technique and proceeded to cause me 45 minutes of suffering then topped it off with 5 minutes of grief when she presented the bill.

But hey, as far as news on the health-related front goes, my teeth have done remarkably well.

And now back to my frustration.

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Let me state that more clearly: Not dealing with your emotional baggage can literally kill you or make you go crazy
Mark Manson

“When I stand before thee at the day’s end, thou shalt see my scars and know that I had my wounds and also my healing.”
– Rabindranath Tagore


Looks like I’m on the mend. My sleep is still a complete mess, but I’ve started doing more healthy stuff again. I also noticed that thinking about doing stuff that’s good for my health gives me a sense of joy. Doesn’t mean I’ll actually do them, but it feels nice thinking about doing them.

Being back at week 1 of my kettlebell run is nice, I can see how much I’ve already improved by how easy it is now. I’ve also been doing my breathing exercises for a few days and today I added the Muse meditation back in (which was a mess, even when I didn’t have any thoughts popping up, my brain was still all over the place apparently).

Eating isn’t particularly healthy yet, I’ll let it slide as it’s that time of the year I usually don’t expect to be losing weight.

Even though my sleep is still a mess, my body seems more forceful in getting me to sleep. Where before I would get drowsy when I got tired, now I just drop right into sleep while sitting behind my desk. I don’t know which one is better.

I also posted the little thing I was working on before Dragon:

Other than that, I’m back to listening.

I have been reading the new manual. I wonder about those rest days. Should there always be 5 on 3 off, or can I do 2 on 1 off 3 on 1 off?

“Like a stunningly attractive vampire offering to give you the best BJ of your life, some risks are just too great to take.”
– Risk Management 101, Chapter 3: Responsible vs Irresponsible Risks


I fully expected to continue this journal, but at the turn of the year I got too busy with setting the goals for the year and other stuff. Then I suddenly got super grumpy and uncommunicative, while feeling that the subs made me worse instead of better.

Eventually Saint concluded I must be experiencing reconciliation and told me to take time off from subs. After a considerable amount of internal resistance to doing so I finally did and was able to recover.

At that point the journaling habit was pretty much gone.

A couple of weeks ago I started a journal detailing my extended fasting experience, which happens to coincide with Stage 4 of the Dragon. So I’ll close this one off officially and conclude my Dragon journey there.

In case you didn’t find it yet but are interested:

If you’re not, then thank you for coming with me up to this point and all the best!

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