Sungaze's Journal

Journals - Major Programs
#1

Hey everyone

following up on this post I’ve started using Primal + LBFH

I’ve kept a journal (offline) but I decided I’ll give some updates here too.

So, as I was writing on Primal ZP2 main thread the first days I noticed getting a lot of attention (eye contact) from girls and women (even in dreams).

But that basically ended just a few days after I posted it… :thinking:

BTW
I’m almost at the end of my first cycle (1day on 1 day off), I’ve started with 3 min each and increased the following week if I got no recon. Now I’m at 10 min each on day 20.

I don’t know how many cycles I’ll do but I was thinking of taking the list of goals on the Primale main page, and rating each one from 1 to 10.

I’m also thinking of adopting the schedule below, but I’m not really sure

As always, any suggestions are welcome :pray:

4 Likes
#2

Primal + LBH / Day 19 / Listening day (10 min each)

Today the mood is better. I recognize that I have several skills that can allow me to adapt when looking for a new job.

I have the strength to study and improve myself.

However I am still concerned about the situation of my shop and my finances more generally.

I feel the need for a woman but dont know how to go about it.

Sexually I feel the urge to PMO.

I’m happy with my current relationship with my brother, but in general I don’t feel good at social interactions (I don’t know what to say in a speech, I feel awkward etc).

I don’t like the fact that I’ve started smoking again, even though I have a vague certainty (perhaps the illusion) that I can quit whenever I want.

3 Likes
#3

I realize I’m in the wrong forum section :grimacing:
I’ve asked @DarkPhilosopher to move my journal to Major programs

1 Like
#4

You can do that yourself as well. Just press on the pencil next to the title

Best of luck on your journey :blush:

1 Like
#5

Nice, thank you!

#6

I was at a friend’s birthday party on Friday night.

There was this girl, who was interested in me in the past, but I turned her down because she had recently broken up with my friend (he’s like a brother for me).
She is now engaged and her new boyfriend was at the party as well, however she kept seeking physical contact with me and practically rubbing on me…

Apart from that during the party, apart from for a few moments, I felt out of place as usual. Without having someone to talk to and in any case without much to say.

Regarding having a relationship with women I often find myself having thoughts about not being used to having a woman anymore, not knowing how to maintain interest etc… (probably beliefs developed at the end of my last long lasting relationship), basically they are thoughts of inadequacy

2 Likes
#7

I’m in my first washout from Primal (+LBH).

Yesterday I had to run an errand in a city close to mine, after which I had some free time and went for a walk in the old town.
Once again I noticed how many girls, women glanced at me.

Now, either it’s me looking damn weird or it’s the effect of Primal :joy:

I still get sexually related dreams, I’ve noticed they express mainly two themes:

  1. attraction, I often get strong attention from females (almost ridicolous levels)
  2. domincance, or better, agressiveness. One I have sex in dreams, I’ve always an agressive attitude, many times violent.

In the last 2/3 days I had some memories during the day, in the form of quick images/flashes. I don’t know if they are due to Primal, cause I can’t think of any connection.
All I know is that when they happen I’m surprised, cause they are unexpected.

PS. I think I’ll try the pattern suggested by @Billions (in my first post) using 5min for each, so I’ll wait till monday eventhough my washout would end today.

4 Likes
#8

Oh I’ve also been presented a program (30 days) to have unshakable confidence.

But as far as I can tell it include audio files to instill new belifes etc (I dont think it is subliminal though) so I’m not sure if it can be a problem or not.
@RVconsultant?

1 Like
#9

Are the audio guided meditations or silent/barely audible audios? If it is the former, it is fine. The latter could interfere with the SC subliminals.

2 Likes
#10

You’re gonna extend your washout from 5 days to 10 days?

Why not just start the pattern on a Wednesday :joy:

1 Like
#11

If it were me, I would not do it. I would do the following:

journal
Khan or Ascension

1 Like
#12

As far as I know they are hypnosis/guided meditations… but I’ll check to be sure

1 Like
#13

I don’t like Wednesdays… :rofl:
But as you say less is better, isn’t it? lol

Jokes apart I already planned to skip this week because I was going on a trip… but it all fell through :unamused:
So I’ll probably start today or tomorrow

1 Like
#14

Already doing it, what I post here are just updates

You mean for confidance? Isn’t Primal covering this?

#15

In personal experience, primal is more directly related to confidence expressing sexuality.

Ascension and Khan are confidence in yourself… in Khan’s case, such an overwhelming confidence in self that you’re comfortable expressing sexuality.

1 Like
#16

Why not just use Khan then? Primal is healing area not touched by Khan?

#17

Khan has all of primal and then some

Just like how emperor has all of ascended mogul and then some

1 Like
#18

I’ve just started Primal and you’re already making me want to switch to Khan lol

#19

Starting on Primal is better because Primal is in Khan anyways, so you’ll get faster results.

And when you’ve had a few months exposure to primal, then switch to Khan! Great transition.

1 Like
#20

Last night I’ve got sexual dreams/thoughts but I don’t remember much.
Then I was half asleep in bed, and I have thoughts about my half brother, how he behaved lately and that makes me really anger. I’ve got also thoughts about my shop and the current uncertain situation.

I’ve been in contact with my ex gf lately. It’s quite obvious that she still loves me. She have very strong emotional attachment to me and if something from the past comes up in our conversion, she instantly get emotional and watery eyes.

Me? I’m only sure she’s still one of the few persons I would help at any costs (other than my brother, and two friends that are like brothers to me).
I’ve contrasting thoughts about her.

One part of me says she’s still important for me, I’ll never have the same deep relationship with any other girl. Maybe we made a mistake when decided to break up.
(I wonder if this is subconscioussly shutting me off from other girls, relationships etc.)

The other one says I’m thinking this because it’s much easier then getting to know a new person, deepening the relationship, etc.
That we broke up because we were both suffering from what our relationship had become

Due to the above I’m often torn as to whether or not it’s okay to see each other every once in a while like we’re doing

1 Like