SubliminalGuy--Ascension and Rebirth Journal

[subliminalguy]

This was really beautiful and even ur journal in general seems super real and open, keep up the good work

Thank you @myspace123 Those are kind words.

I’ve had Regeneration on solo all day. Our game day switched from Saturday to Sunday, and tonight I played and ran Regen in my pocket. I’ll make a post about it in the questions forum, but I’m wondering if it’s ethical to play ultrasonic with people around if I’m not playing it for anyone else but myself.

I had no emotional earthquakes happening all day. A little sadness here and there, but nothing which held me and had me all depressed. I did notice 2 or 3 times today where I suddenly felt free, like I’d let go of some old thinking.

I’ll share something I just became aware of. Sharing here, and around groups of men, has sometimes had me wrapped up in fear. And paradoxically, I’d become so obsessed with maintaining a front, a mask, another “not really me”. I’d show or say what I thought would bring me acceptance, though it wasn’t really “me”. Sitting here, running Regeneration, I realize…I reject myself when I do that. I feel led to feel my loss vs. get angry and blame anyone else. I did that. I created that. But right along that is the realization that I am the only person who can change this. With Regen unlocking the chains of regret and self-blame, it helps me see…that change is not as hard as I thought. All it takes is a baby step. Just one. And that is progress, for me.

I think I may be surprised by Regeneration. I really underestimated it, thinking it’d dig up stuff but not find a resolution. What’s different in my experience is that this one is leading me to make changes in my own thinking. This has really piqued my interest, for I’ve never felt motivated to do this.

Thank you Fire and Saint.

[subliminalguy]

Just a note before I head out for work.

Regeneration is having me want to pick up little untouched messes I’ve left in my room for months, even years. I looked at a stack of old, unused clothes this morning, and thought “I can throw those away”.

It’s not from shame, fear, or guilt. To me, it’s symbolic of unfinished business needing closure. These little successes are good.

[SaintSovereign]

It’s not from shame, fear, or guilt. To me, it’s symbolic of unfinished business needing closure. These little successes are good.

Yep – there’s direct scripting that handles things like this.

Tackling small things that are part of a whole has an extremely positive psychological effect. It builds a sense of momentum, like a boulder rolling down a hill. It’ll crash through any obstacles that stand in your way.

[subliminalguy]

That’s very encouraging Saint. Very, very encouraging. Thanks for sharing that. Wow… I might gain real traction this time…

Saint, I’ll admit…again…that you and Fire scripting these subs with a perspective of freedom, inherent personal power, and self love and discipline is why I’m here. I’ve often felt completely dependent on other sub creators (I’ve only had experience with 2 others). But these subs make me feel supported, capable, and empowered as a man. THAT promotes action. THAT encourages taking risks to make needed change. I don’t come here now thinking “what is everyone else thinking about me?” My habitual mind still looks for that norm, but I don’t like its lie of possible pain and fear in my thinking. I never have. Rather, it’s exciting, for it’s very new feeling like someone believed in me (and scripted it in the sub!), and I feel I’m beginning to believe in myself now. That’s amazing!

Thank you for making these subliminals My mind seems to be opening up. I’m wondering if Regeneration plays a major role in one’s freedom of expression, and thus, their creativity. For me, it is, for it’s tearing down unquestioned fears and stances which I’ve just acquiesced to. This change is fun!

[GoldenTiger]

Reading your latest post makes me want to add two loops of Regeneration each morning! I am currently running Primalx8 and SSx2 every night… your story is really inspiring to start adding a little bit of healing every day… how much time have you been listening to regeneration ?

Continue your great journal, I really like reading about your experience!

[subliminalguy]

Thank you for the compliments @GoldenTiger

how much time have you been listening to regeneration?

I bought it Feb. 7th, listened for only a day, but was not desperate enough yet to keep it on. I listened to another Vendor’s sub for a day, and from that one listening I did…I remembered and felt that dependency I’d been mired in. I wanted to feel independence again like I did on Ascension, so, I came back here and began reading updates, questions, and experiences with Regen. I asked Fire some questions, and I was quickly answered. A major one for me was “does Regeneration promote independence similar to what is in Ascension?”, and his answer was yes. So I jumped in last Saturday morning, played it all weekend, and it’s only been 4 days now.

Seems like I’ve lost some time awareness while playing it, which is progress. Me knowing all my when’s and why’s screams “control” to me, for controlling my thoughts (or attempting to control other people) gave me an illusion of power. Something in Regen works contrary to this. In fact, I even had some dreams last night. I know from my time using subliminals that I don’t dream much…well, I very rarely remember any, both before using them and presently. In the context of my control though, dreams and control are complete opposites. Dreams allow all forms of expression, while control completely repels spontaneity.

I like the results I’m seeing on Regeneration. I’ll keep playing it. I played it all day at work, came home and am running Ascension v.2 now, but will turn Regeneration back on to sleep to tonight.

[subliminalguy]

Yesterday I did something unplanned at work. It felt good.

Weeks back, I’d had tense moments with my main coworker, aka Ghetto Guy. One day I’d spoke to him right after he’d been reamed out by another older coworker, which I was unaware of. But he was so hot he went off on me, and another coworker came in, shutting him down. I didn’t intervene myself since I was scared of his anger. I learned later I had been instigating his anger. This was true. I had.

Well, the day after I texted a good boss on the grounds, seeking to speak to him. We talked, and he insisted I report it. So I did.

Yesterday the head boss called me into his office, for he had me sign papers, an official “verbal warning”, which made sense. Under the circumstances, I should have brought in the supers sooner. I’d not done so out of fear of Ghetto Guy.

And near the end of this short meeting, I shared I learned I had instigated him. I shared I had been as much a problem here. I shared since I don’t like blame, both giving and receiving. This encouraged the boss, him smiling and saying a solution can’t be found without admitting a problem.

I took responsibility for myself, and that felt good.

[James]

@subliminalguy The one major thing that caught my attention immediately about Subliminal Club when I was reading the sales page for Ascension is the goal of making you self reliant both mentally and emotionally. To me that stands far above anything anyone else can or will offer. True freedom comes from self reliance.

[subliminalguy]

@James, you nailed it there. I had a vivid realization last night about why I’m with SC, and I’ll share it now.

I’ve been on Regeneration all week, I’ve felt strong and clear, and surprisingly, I’ve had no lows. However, I’ve not had much sleep all week too. I know I’ve also been dreading/fearing some major financial changes coming in my life, so an anxiety has been on and off. These are positive financial changes too. But I’ve never done this so far in my life, and things I’ve sought for years are finally happening. I’ll be adding Mogul pretty soon.

And I diverted. Regeneration has been nice, yet not loud. Looking back to yesterday, I was tired at work. Not real low, but definitely not high. I thought some self confidence would help my mood. So I put on a competitor’s confidence sub, and it stimulated my thinking some. I ran it off my desktop when I got home, and left it on while sleeping.

I woke up around 3 with no alarm, but I’m up early every morning. My mind was more rested, and I resumed thinking about both money changes and subs since I was listening to a different scripting style. I felt…I’d given up control again. I felt dependent again, just enough to bother me. And remembering this vendor’s script for this sub, I saw something. (I changed back to a SC stack too)

I grew up with a mom I was afraid of, and in fear, I was her “yes man”. I did what I was told, mostly. She even told me I was her “best child”. That treatment hurt me inside since it squelched any exploring of anything; whether in work, jobs, relationships, or businesses. I just followed, fearing being not liked or loved. I learned “if I want to be accepted and loved, give people what they want”.

That same message came back up when using the other vendor’s subliminals, and it ran me when I wrote on their forum. It was a soul sucking lifestyle of “do you like me now?” The lack of change in me was due to this same message. I was afraid to venture out, make mistakes, and just be independent. But those subs were scripted to be obeyed, and SC writes theirs where the listener has to seek and find their own solutions. Doing the latter is pure growth for me!

Now, SC comes out, scripting a whole different message. I wonder now “can I do this? Why am I afraid?” I imagine myself doing these things, and even that thinking is so new. I’m growing more on these subs every day. I even wrote heavily when I first arrived at SC, still running on “yes man” mode.

This is so freeing, even where words seem meaningless. If I could summarize it, it’d be this:

other subs: follow their directions. Don’t question. Just obey. You’ll feel like a kid, and if you stay, you’ll die like a kid. (BARF!)

SC subs: you’ll be led to trust yourself again. You’ll find answers which have always been there, for we’re made to grow, change, and trust this growth. You’ll have both successes and failures, but you’ll appreciate the failures since you’ll make other choices next time. You were made to grow.

This is living. Thank you Fire and Saint.

[Fire]

Now, SC comes out, scripting a whole different message. I wonder now “can I do this? Why am I afraid?” I imagine myself doing these things, and even that thinking is so new. I’m growing more on these subs every day. I even wrote heavily when I first arrived at SC, still running on “yes man” mode.

This is so freeing, even where words seem meaningless. If I could summarize it, it’d be this:

other subs: follow their directions. Don’t question. Just obey. You’ll feel like a kid, and if you stay, you’ll die like a kid. (BARF!)

SC subs: you’ll be led to trust yourself again. You’ll find answers which have always been there, for we’re made to grow, change, and trust this growth. You’ll have both successes and failures, but you’ll appreciate the failures since you’ll make other choices next time. You were made to grow.

This is living. Thank you Fire and Saint.

This is what our mission at SubClub consists of.

Having people not blindly following others, but thinking for themselves. You cannot reach your potential as a follower (talking generally) - only you can grow into who you are meant to be, no one else can do it for you, and until you realize this, you will be a follower and therefore you will not be living the life you want, as a man you want to be.

Only when you let go of the crutches and stand on your own two feet will you see what you are truly capable of, be it business, women or spirituality.

And you seem to be close to internalizing this. Trust yourself and the decisions you make for yourself, because they are the only ones that truly matter for you, never get complacent and follow your mission.

For me personally, this was something I learned through experience. When I was younger, I went through depression, was overweight, went through all kinds of mental trials, was not good at all with women. My family was and is amazing, but during that time we went through some tough stuff (unrelated to me) and fights would escalate further and further every day.

I vividly remember staying up for hours on end during the night, listening intently, if anything horrible was about to happen.

This lasted for years. My escape was gaming. The virtual world was how I would barricade myself from the reality of the situation.

And then, one day…

I couldn’t escape anymore. I realized - it was not leading to any resolution.

It was useless. Same as looking for answers in others. The answer is always in you.

Only you can save yourself.

After that, I took up martial arts, and lost all the excess weight. I went through grueling workouts. I broke my depression through sheer will. I started talking to women with unshakeable confidence. Soon after, the problems in my family were resolved.

So many years have passed, but the lessons are worth their weight in gold.

Hence why I say - trust yourself. It is normal to doubt, the power comes when you trust yourself enough to push through it anyway.

Also why I say to never get complacent - when you are not moving forward, you are going backwards.

And finally, why you must always follow your mission. When your heart is burning for your mission, you will automatically know what you must do. Both @SaintSovereign and I sometimes doubt ourselves, but our hearts burn for SubClub - SubClub is our mission and dream - so we know what we must do, and do it.

And now, Subliminal Club is growing faster than ever, consistently breaking through every last month’s sales, connecting people together with the idea of becoming better while creating a powerful community, and helping hundreds of men.

…

We have a grand mission for this company and the world - advancing human potential, and this means turning men into great men; forging leaders that will live their lives to the fullest.

Thank you for your trust in us, and always trust yourself.

[subliminalguy]

Is Ascension Mogul 1 major program, or 2? I used AM today while at work, it wasn’t distracting at all, and I’ve needed Mogul’s message. I’ve been thinking of Mogul by itself…but I need Ascension still. So I replaced Ascension with AM in my stack. I need both, plus I’ve slept well with Regeneration stacked with Ascension. Ascension alone kept me awake.

I’m moving ahead.

[subliminalguy]

I looped AM and Regeneration last night while sleeping. I woke up with some uncommon old fears active, and they were all money beliefs I had growing up. I’ll be able to identify them soon enough, so I’m sharing.

It’s been a very long time since I’ve been going forward but felt clear connections to my past. I grew up on government assistance most of my childhood. My mom’s still on it. I never knew wealth. I’m realizing a greed and fear would surface when opportunities arose, like money would be spent quickly and rashly, thinking it would not be around long. What I just wrote sounds like lottery winners. It was a mix of “I’m unworthy of this” with “use it before someone else takes it!” Fear, fear, and more fear. I actually am feeling sad though. Since I’ve been remaining aware what opportunities are out there constantly, I’m seeing I was afraid to be responsible at all even up to this year.

It was normal.
It was extremely fear based.
So I was scared.

Ascension has changed and challenged some things. I’m grateful for this. Change is good, one day at a time.

[myspace123]

use it before someone else takes it!”

Actually I have such a fear myself coz ever since childhood my parents took away whatever money I got and I was always desperate for money coz I wanted to buy so many things but never had the money to buy them, even now I spend lots of money on bullshit and rarely end up with money saved which can be problematic

[TheBoxingScientist]

Subliminal guy you are an inspirarion

[subliminalguy]

Subliminal guy you are an inspirarion.

Thank you Blackadder. That was nice.

I’m here this morning wishing to share recent changes I’ve experience on AM and Regeneration. I didn’t think I’d fall in line with the message that work superiors would notice me. I know that since I know I’ve held to an immature judgement since I’ve been wanting to be noticed, but the attention is on and off. As I’ve worked for it in the past, it’s slipped through my fingers. My reaction is to feel disappointed, feel sorry for myself, and to desire more distance from the company’s reach. I’ve had this in my thoughts as long as I’ve worked here.

But I’m seeing some change in me. I’ve been working my ass off this week, without shame or feeling like a victim, and I’ve not had desires to use this as a relationship base. I’m doing it because I can do it, because it needs to be done, I feel good doing this, and I’ve seen my bosses notice too. The difference is I wasn’t looking for their attention. It’s like a confirmation to me.

Still running Regen too, sometimes replacing AM at work, but looping it with AM at home. I know I still have some barrier to feeling “free” holding me. Specifically, I’m growing capital where I’ll soon be able to resign if I wish. I’m wondering if, like AM, me letting go of this “need to know” will open more doors. I spoke with a coworker about this yesterday, for it’s one of those “good” problems to have. I’ve just liked being part of a team, helping others, and giving of myself. I feel good when I do that.

Letting go of this appeals to me. I’ve read it’s worked for others here.

[subliminalguy]

I’ve been returning to the forum, reading and searching for truths I can identify with, I read some this morning, so I’ll share.

First off, I left SC about a month ago since an old sub vendor I’d used for years brought out his flagship product, one which focused on emotional healing. I ran it for almost 3 weeks. But I soon felt … unaided in growing myself. Not independent. In fact, I felt dependent. The painful link (my reason for leaving them again) was that I saw the producer like my father: unavailable. Even unwilling to interact with me. This buried my desire to remain on that sub, as it hit old abandonment pain, and my old well-used strategy was blaming myself, telling me I was bad. It was an old dangerous spiral I wanted out of…and also felt safer in. This was an old way of living I did NOT want to go to, so I began AM again. I did feel old feelings a lot during those times, and I felt controlled. It sucked. However, I’ll repeat that the old thinking and beliefs are still there, as I lived there for decades.

I’d been on AM only a week, running Regen at night. My behaviour at work improved, and I enjoyed that side of me. However, I know I’ve wanted a relationship. And looking for connections, I began reading Emperor journals. In fact, OldChap’s testimony is what caught my attention. Him sharing how undesirable he felt post-divorce, then starting Emperor to make a new life, acting on his relationship desires–this inspired me.

I began Emperor at home first, at the end of my work day. I was nervous at first…but both Ascension and AM have been normalizing that stress of changes needed. So Emperor has not been a rough ride. Two good changes were in my thought life. I first became very horny, desiring a sexual relationship. It’s been 7 years since me and my ex split, so it’s welcome. Also, I felt and thought some good anger at an overseer at work. I imagined myself saying “Who the F*** are you?!!” since he speaks exactly what he feels, and I’m not on his good list. Fuck him. Nothing has happened, but me even imagining standing up for myself is incredible to me. I felt strong.

Regneration: This is stirring me up. Yesterday I did laundry at a new place. This was because of Emperor since I’m still looking for women. I even tried turning on Regen while there, but it began yanking emotional strings which was uncomfortable and scary for me. But I ran Regen while sleeping, and am still running it now. I felt unhindered waking up, and …I automatically sought out my “norms” when thinking of my day. I’ve been inspired by men saying Emperor is blasting stuff out of the way. I’ve “hid” behind my problems, validating and strengthening them. They all have their place, but I realize I’ve used them as “life limiters”. I’ve used them to avoid dangers and changes. Honestly, that’s how I’ve seen my family live. It’s not living though.

One day at a time though. Let’s see what happens today.

[James]

@subliminalguy drop Regeneration for now and run Emperor by itself. Trust me I am currently running Rebirth and Emperor V2 in a stack and very happy I am as running Regeneration was bringing up shit I don’t need at the moment. @SaintSovereign said in a post how Emperor will give you all kinds of " I don’t give a flying fuck" . I am paraphrasing but you get the point.

[subliminalguy]

Thanks James. I ran Emperor and Rebirth on masked last night, and I’ve been running Emperor all day on my phone at work.

What can I say? Emperor is challenging and changing me. It’s not all nice and beautiful. No. This afternoon, I mentally went a place I’ve not been to for a very long time. My bitcoin mining extraction was held up by mutual agreement last week (another miner spoke up with a warning to not go the route I’d been planning for months), another hangup came today, and I went down the road of real discouragement. That road of “am I ever going to be paid?” followed by distrust, blame, and wariness of anything bitcoin related. In short, I wondered if I was seeing things straight: was I investing in fantasies? What I see is different this time is I’m not stuck in some dark pit called “helpless”. I realize Emperor is really checking my bullshit, as I’m experiencing similar questioning in my relationships when I think of interacting with them.

This is significant since I (mostly) agree with people a lot, never questioning their motives or the outcome I’m supposed to be heading towards. I know this started as I was doing my job today. In my head, I realized I’m basically polishing a pile of shit each day. I’m being very loose with words, but my job is 90% making the bosses look good despite the fact that the “turd”, the problem I’m assigned to, is never disposed of, really cared about, nor wanted. So, I was frustrated doing meaningless, valueless work today.

I’m still a little reactive. Emperor is still digging at something.

[subliminalguy]

I read some on Sanguine, and I picked it up tonight. I’m looping it with Emperor now.

Thanks for making this Saint and Fire!

[subliminalguy]

I just wanted to share my experience today using Mogul v.2. I’d been back and forth using a competitor’s subs and SC subs. I decided this week to use the competitor’s sub at night since I’ve found emotional growth and change with it, and I decided to pick up Mogul since AM was too much with the other, I thought.

Today I worked with 4 temp workers on a job, and it went smoothly. I was bothered by one lazy temp, but I didn’t feel I needed to do more than point out behaviors a few times. Surprisingly, Mogul has a small bit of the alpha push in it, which is why I chose to keep it running.

But what really caught my attention happened after work. I got gas and a coffee, and when the cashier asked if I needed anything else, I realized I was unusually louder than normal. Her eyes, though concentrating on her screen, showed I’d be very clear, and almost insistent. This cashier I’ve seen dozens of times, and she seems to play the alpha role with workers and customers, being quick and curt, to a degree. But she was unusually quiet and less dominant to my answer. I did not say anything else, nor did I discount myself.

I immediately thought of an interaction I had around 3 weeks ago while using AM by itself. A guy I see almost every weekend came to stock his vending machines he has at my workplace. I was roughly 20 feet away while we were small-talking about work. He responded that my voice was unusually loud and deep, and he tried to imitate me for a moment, and I’d not even noticed. I have been louder.

I began Mogul since I read the sales page, and I’d seen that Extreme Independence was on there, I crave that, so I picked it up. I didn’t expect the voice change with Mogul.

I just read the Mogul sales page, and I flashed back to a money related thought I had today. I read T. Harv Eker’s “Secrets of the Millionaire Mind” 4 years back (I actually listened to audio CD’s in my car), and the thought that came forward was this.

“Rich people think ‘both’. Poor people think ‘either/or’.”

I’ve thought most of my life like a poor person. The rich mindset, however, looks for and sees possibilities where they were not considered before. I am rationalizing using 2 different vendor’s subs together, and I’ve not had conflict so far. The understood teaching with sub use is “use this one or that one, but don’t mix”. The “BOTH” thoughts came today since I realized the emotional healing sub is allowing me to feel dominant—and it’s NOT out of fear. I’m not even aware when I am being dominant. I’ve always had old pain and fear steer me, and I’d pretend dominance, but fear showed, so I was dismissed, ignored, or teased. Today I was not out looking to hurt someone–as I’ve done that when I’ve felt real bad and insecure. I was just being productive and helpful, steering and assisting the small crew today.

I wished to pass this on to Saint and Fire. Thank you for making Mogul. It feels nice