My journals usually end like the Sopranos, suddenly with questions unanswered.
I think this is because I try so hard to add content and link every little thing in my life to subliminals or I can’t post it. This time around I’m gonna relax. See what happens when I just post throughout the year across multiple stacks. I can use a bit of social accountability and maybe I manage to write something useful too, who knows?
At this time of the year I often need distracting. I tend to be reminded of all the lofty goals I had set for myself and everything I didn’t get around to. No matter how strong my accomplishments, the failure hit harder.
But I suppose I have no choice, so let’s start with a bit of self-reflection.
2021, like the year before it, is one of my happiest years. Being quite introverted and also efficiency-minded, I can’t stand commuting followed by sitting in uncomfortable clothing getting constantly distracted from doing things I could have done better in my boxers from home. This has a very high impact on my well-being.
So in that regard, I still thank circumstances being what they are, accepting the downsides like a champ.
On the career front, I started a project assignment early 2020 and that project is now nearing completion. I asked the company if they could use me as an engineer for day-to-day operations and they were eager to, also raising my salary by over 500 a month and throwing in a year-end bonus. Although I’m nowhere near where I wish I was financially (I wish I could afford to just hop on a plane and do the Sauna World Tour with @Hoppa) I am at least in a comfortable place where I don’t have to worry to much about money.
I did notice something this year which I have noticed more often when running SubClub subs. I spend more easily, and can even go on minor spending sprees.
It used to be that every time I saw something I liked my inner voice informed me there was so much left to do and I had to be a multi-millionaire first before I could relax and reward myself.
But since running SubClub subs my inner voice has times when it tells me not to postpone gratification until I’m old and grey, but instead to live more in the moment. Which results in me sometimes treating myself to something which logically I would define as nice-to-have. Or something I’ve been wanting for years. In 2020 I got a VR setup, in 2021 I got myself an entire new bathroom with a very nice shower (how did we ever survive without those rain shower heads?)
So I do/did spend more. Which is not always helpful. But it gives me more satisfaction in my life, which is more important than postponing fun until the 20-year goals are achieved.
In case you are wondering, I ran EoG, AM & RICH starting July with plans of running them the rest of the year. But then ZP came with its steady diet of non-wealth subs. So I didn’t listen to wealth subs too much.
Another great thing is that I finally started the home renovations I’ve been wanting to do for ages. I have this limiting belief that unless my house is catalog-ready I should not go out and meet new people, because I’d be ashamed to bring them home. Which is nonsense, but it’s a very strong belief.
So renovating my office, bathroom and parts of the kitchen and hallway is great.
There are downsides unfortunately. I started the renovation of my office out of sheer desperation. The upstairs neighbors made so much noise I couldn’t life like that anymore. Without being able to retreat in my home, the stress and tension kept building and it would not be inconceivable to consider I might actually have snapped at some point.
Which brings me to the next thing…
Health-wise is am extremely disappointed. I am still strong enough to avoid getting sick. However, I spent the start of the year with all the noise from upstairs causing me massive amounts of psychological and emotional damage, and once the renovations started I spend multiple months where there was rubble and chaos everywhere in my house. Even a month without a functional bathroom. Being a little bit OCD all this change and chaos was quite stressful. Which prompted me to reach for the comfort foods.
Sedentary job and excessive comfort foods have all but destroyed my conditioning and my outdoor clothes no longer fit me. I have reached my highest body fat percentage in 10 years, combined with my lowest cardiovascular and flexibility.
So yeah, I am disappointed. I love myself still, but I am very disappointed. All those years my excuse for not looking like a bodybuilder on the beach was that I had to commute and had no time. Now I have had almost 2 years and I made it worse, both diet and mobility.
Emotionally I’m still fine. I got through things which might have caused me to run screaming.
And if you’re wondering here as well, the first half of 2021 I was listening to Dragon and Paragon mainly.
Spiritually I was too distracted this year to make any real progress. My mind has become more open to possibilities though. I’ve also adopted more of an acceptance-mindset. Letting go of expectations and simply accepting things as they are while still giving myself permission to change those things if I want to.
On the relationship front there’s been a slight decrease, in line with the isolation I’ve been doing since COVID joined the community.
I managed to stay up to date with many immediate and short-term goals, but pretty much none of the larger ones. I blame the constant stress preventing me from doing too much complex thinking.
But as I mentioned, the renovations were a good thing and something I’ve been wanting for a long time. Even though none have finished at this time, I’ve become more comfortable with DIY projects.
Overall, the past year is best described as “status quo.”
This is all of my last year review which comes to mind. I might add more based on stuff I find in my other thread.
The next post is for the coming year.
