Hey guys!
I am familiar with subs from another vendor but now decided to buy my first subclub product - Khan.
The idea of building an empire and at the same time seducing high-quality girl intrigued me.
I will try to write a detailed journal every day to be able to look back and see how much actually changed in my life. If you guys have any questions, you can ask me here and I will try to answer it.
For now,
I am happy to join the community. And happy listening to all of you!
Day1:
In the last days, I tried to wake up earlier, setting my alarm clock to 7 am. When I woke up, I just wanted “to sleep ten more minutes” resulting in me getting up at 10 o’clock. I started to listen to stage 1 Total Breakdown overnight. The first thing I realised is I surprisingly woke up at 6:55 am today even before my fucking alarm clock. I am pretty sure this is a direct result of KHAN.
I then got up and worked very productively this day while I continued listening to the sub (approx 15 hours in total).
In the evening, I now feel exhausted and fatigued.
The suspicious thing is that instead of working I found myself on Youtube watching a video of a scene in the “Wolf of Wall Street”. I then decided to watch the movie again. There is a scene in the film where “Jordan Belford” is having sex with Naomi for the first time, and he is literally coming after 13 secs. I have a problem with Premature Ejaculation myself (one of the reasons why I started to run stage 1) because even before running it, I knew this was holding me back to seduce girls. In this scene Belford makes the problem seem even funny: " I FUCKED HERE HARD… (PAUSE) for 13 WHOLE SECONDS!", “Awwwhhw … DID YOU CAME?”. I mean this is hilarious and is genuinely taking off the pressure.
Do you think this was a result of the sub or just pure luck that I spontaneously watched the movie again? I mean it is only Day 1…
Day 2: I woke up twice this night, and the only thing I recalled is that my dream was black. Literally black. Usually, I dream very vividly, and everything is full of colour. Since listening to Khan, I can only see a black image in my dream, but I still hear dream voices. However, I can’t remember what they said. Very strange…
In the day, I got some work done, but my productivity was worse than yesterday. I now feel pretty sluggish…
However, I noticed when I start to have bad thoughts; these get repelled immediately by positive ones. I am going to meet a girl later in the gym which I approached last week. Let’s how it goes
Day 3: I had my first dream on Khan today! And gosh I rarely had such a vivid dream!
I was standing in a room with two friends; next to us was a corridor. These dudes were two fucking betas or deltas if you like. I was the opposite: Speaking super loudly, expressing, enjoying myself, giving value… I spoke to all of the girls in the corridor walking by. There was one girl I was super attracted to. I shouted: “I love you” when she walked past. She replied “I love you too” (kinda ironic). The two dudes were so surprised that I can talk to girls so easily that they became super focused on me and taking value as crazy. It was actually quite annoying, to be honest.
Then, somehow, the dudes left, and I was alone in the room. The hot girl actually came back and was looking for something. I asked her for her number and she replied very harshly “NO”. I asked again, and again (I kinda felt weird like I was begging her). And after the third time, she replied: “I would have given it to you if you hadn’t been so loud and such an alpha.” She told me about her boyfriend and that she is in trouble now…
Next dream was in a waterpark. I was there with a good friend of mine who is such a nice person but a beta too. We wanted to take the one waterslide when the gang of another alpha in my highschool-time arrived. I decided to go to another slide and so we did. We meet some girls there. My beta friend tried to impress, or I don’t know what and pushed me into the water slide. I had some important files in my hand (who brings paper files to a waterpark lol?), and I found myself going down the waterslide with my files. He joined me. I was so furious at him that he pushed me and that my files get wet now that I threw them into the water in the waterslide. He was shocked. I could not control my anger…
Next dream, I was walking around the streets when I saw another beta friend of mine (who never had something with a girl before) in a group full of hot girls. I could not believe my eyes. I went there and talked to them, and it was super chill. Later my friend left with the two hottest girls and I stayed there with one girl who was quite good-looking but super dumb. The funny thing is that in the last days I wrote down which kinds of girls I want in my life and which I do not tolerate. Having a dumb chick was a no-go for me. Anyway, she was horny, I was horny, and I started to finger her. She was LOVING it… I thought to myself, I will not fuck her because I don’t want to Premature Ejaculate, so I will only finger it. And so we did. We met later and hid in another room so that I could finger her secretly because my mum was actually nearby (very weird, right). Then I went outside and explored my surroundings until my dream ended.
Guys if you have any idea in how to interpret it, I am genuinely interested in your ideas
I just came back from a night out, it is now 4:34 am my time.
I will write an extensive report tomorrow - stay tuned
Update: I am still listening to Khan Stage 1 exclusively. I could not keep with my journal because I got swamped in the last days going out having fun and meeting new people. A concrete correlation to the sub but more on this now.
In the first few days, when I was listening to Khan, I became very fatigued and irritable. Whenever somebody said something I disliked, I suddenly burst out loudly and got very emotional. This kind of behaviour is not typical to me as I am a person who can control his temper well. My friends and family had to draw my attention to it so that I stopped - at least until the next thing came up and I exploded again.
This behaviour vanished in the last two days more and more as I read @AMASH journal and decided to listen to fewer loops each day. However, I still get furious on more significant things - for example, I got mad at my friend who always agrees to an idea and then cancels in the last minute. I just feel like he is wasting my time. I told him I have enough! I feel like Khan is giving power and an extreme high self-image valuing myself and my time on an intimidating level without being too delusional.
In the gym, I meet a guy I have seen twice before at a party. It turns out he is as passionate as me about training reading and watching all the expert advice on how to practice scientifically. That was the first time I exercised with a fellow for like one year or so because I hate to sabotage my training by having somebody else there who is only doing “biceps curls every day”. He introduced me to his friend, and we had a blast in the gym. The Daredevil script is working here.
That day I also went to a concert where a friend of mine was singing. She looked gorgeous in her dress, moving her ass. This is something I notice as well; I am far more focused on girls. Everywhere I go, I now spot beautiful girls and look them straight in the eyes. They also make me quite horny, and I feel more at ease with my own sexuality. For example, after the concert, I went to her and leaned in and told her that only she could hear how brilliant she looked in her dress. She turned red but was LOVING it. When I left the room, she giggled cutely and waved at me, becoming a bit red again. I felt so comfortable and confident at the moment.
That night I went to a party with another girl who has a boyfriend. We talked enthusiastically on the way there, and I noticed how sexual I was - even though I have no sexual interest in the girl. I feel like this sexuality became a part of me in the last days as our conversation got spiked with sexual excitement pretty fast. She loved it, I loved it, and we just had fun - without it being over the top or creepy at any time.
The party we went to was a huge graduation party, where there were at least 120 people invited. She is a shy girl, and we both did only know 2-3 people, so I knew that at some point I would have to speak to new people. For the first half of the night, I stayed with her. I am extroverted, but at the party, I was so at ease and in the zone, I have rarely experienced before. I instantly knew how to make her more comfortable. So we had a drink first, chatted and gossiped about some peoples dress (her idea ^^) and then I lead her to the dance floor, we danced for a while, backed off to drink again and gossip more and repeat. And I tell you guys, we had some fun! One hour later you would not recognise the shy girl I wrote about above: We were dancing wildly next to the dance floor having the time of our life.
She then left, and I knew now I am just here by myself. One week ago I would have been scared like crazy but not on this day. I went to the dancefloor, approached the girl I already know, lead her to another group of people I found more interesting. Danced some more, switched groups again, and somehow, I found myself surrounded by three new girls that were all looking at me curiously. Then the music changed to some horrible song, and all of us stopped dancing. I said something to the group, and they agreed that the music what terrible. So we were now standing there on the dancefloor waiting for the song to finish. I decided to take action now and open them properly. I leaned in, gave the one girl my hand which was LOOKING at me ALL THE TIME, introduced myself and then did the same to her hotter friend. We chatted for a bit, and I then told her that I want to shot with her. She was down, and we went together to the bar. The MOMENT we headed off, I felt a light sensation in my underwear: I knew it was on. We chatted some more, and we got along well. She is 19, and I am 17; when she asked me about my age, I instantly set the frame that she is seducing me which is illegal because I am not 18 and that she is SUCH a BAD girl etc. She was enjoying it and replied: “Ahhhh we did not have anything YET ;=)”. Then I introduced her to a friend of mine. She tried to shit test me by only talking to the guy seeing how I react. This was something I always feared because I had some trauma in the past where one guy was always stealing my girl. However, on this day I stayed relaxed and literally after one minute the other guy was deferring to me looking to me when he spoke. I knew this shit test was passed. Then I made a strategic mistake. The guy asked me to come and dance, and I agreed and took her with me. I should’ve stayed and talked to her a bit more to spike up the sexual tension and isolate her go for the makeout. Instead, we danced, and she left to go to the bathroom. I did not want to wait for her, so I approached another group in the meantime. I then lost her and as I saw her again, the dance floor was full and she was surrounded by her friends guarding her. I had to leave so I decided to number close her. She gave me her number and I knew by the way she reacted that I could have gone for the makeout if I stayed longer.
Anyway, I was so proud of myself because this was actually the first time I approached a girl I did not know, isolated her and had some 1:1 time with her. I felt like a fucking pimp to be honest. Also I found out that opening is no big deal. The thing I feared for almost two years turned out to be fun to be honest! I imagine how every night out will be different from now on as I can talk to everyone I like with such ease!
Day 7: The last week was a HELL of a RIDE for me. I am generally like the soloenterpreneuer who loves to focus on work resulting in me sacrificing my dating- and social life for it. Since the last seven days, this changed COMPLETELY!
I am truly struggling to keep up this journal as I now go out to have thrilling experiences and to break out of my own COMFORT ZONE every fucking day.
Yesterday, I went spontaneously to a massive event with over 1 million people in my city. Everywhere girls, drinks, food from different cultures, music and the smell of freedom.
Before going there, I was thinking about asking some girls to come with me. I usually would not do this because I always thought that is too much stress, and that maybe it will be weird etc. etc… Some BULLSHIT excuses. That day, I thought: “Fuck it” and invited some girls to come with me. They were EXCITED and promised to join me later after they are free…
I meet with two other guys, and we went to meet another group of girls and boys. They were somewhat lame, so I decided to split up with one friend after a while. We wanted to eat some tasty burrito, but there was a huge crowd. So I asked the girl in the front: “OH, wow, is this the line?” I can’t recall what she replied, but it must have been something that caught my attention because I turned around and followed up: “Oh heyyy!! We know each other, right? 
We meet at us at the wedding, do you remember?” (We never meet) AND SHE fucking LOVED it!! And she played along. So I was able to order after her skipping at least 15 min of waiting time. My friend could not believe his eyes! The girl and I chatted for some more and then we went different ways. At the moment, I did not think about exchanging numbers, which I should have done looking backwards. Anyway, pretty cool!
Later the one girl I invited came. The moment I saw her, I knew she was turned on by me and wants to be more than just friends. When asking her, I did not even expect this as I just wanted to hang out with her. I lead her to a place with loud music, and we danced, and she was mirroring all my dance movements. I knew I got her lol.
It was fucking FUN! Dancing in a vast crowd to some dope ass music. I then called my friends as I could not see them in the mass of people. This was a hassle to find them but well we succeeded at some point. I was pretty happy that my friends were ALSO looking for ME because I could have imagined that they by being the bigger crowd would be fine without us. We danced some more together. The girl next to me was making some sexual jokes which were pretty blunt, to be honest. When I said something, she ALWAYS interpreted as I have a lot of other GIRLS I bang, which I found quite amusing because this is not really the case. We danced and talked some more, but she kinda was getting on my nerve. She is a very logical girl and took value like crazy, which bored me to death after some time. She was a little bit needy, to be honest. SO I decided even though she was hot that I don’t want to be more than friends with her.
Oh, and the other girl I invited came as well, but we were already on the way home. She kept texting me that she wants to SEE me! And that I should stay, and that she will be there soon.
I made sure that my other friends she knows as well would meet her and take care of her because I was just too exhausted to stay any longer. Also, the girl I had with me did not really like the idea to meet her, haha.
The Moment Of Total BREAKDOWN
Literally, completely, totally
Still the same day, after coming home I asked my friend if he wants to meet and chill.
We ended up drinking a Martini and smoking a joint. I am definitely not a stoner, but I still have some solid experience with it. It was all fun and relaxed, but we got high as fuck.
My friend has a friend who is a perfect 10/10. She is also the only girl I know who also acts like 10/10 because she was the hottest girl in high school.
I always feard in talking or meeting her as I tried once and she turned around immediately. So when my friend asked me to meet here, I said no, let’s chill some more, and then I go home. However, there was something that told me deep-down I should go and meet her today, that I should not flinch, that I need to go out of my comfort zone to grow and that it will be all fun. So I ended up saying YES…
So we went to meet her. She sat down next to my friend, and they started talking about some other friends I did not know. They smoked another joint, which I passed because I was already high. I noticed what a nice girl she really is, totally down to earth but always experiencing the pressure of society. She had some beautiful eyes and was always looking for my friend, only sometimes glimpsing at me. I was like in a trance, I could not speak. We must have been sitting there for like 30 minutes until it started to rain. I did not even say one real sentences. I felt soooo fucking weird! I tried to change it, but I was high and like I could not speak. I was just sitting there looking trying not to be super damn weird. Which I was anyway. I knew that she must be thinking I am totally weird… This dude can’t even speak. Wtf.
When going home, they were going closer, and I was further apart. I am pretty sure that my friend is in the fucking friend zone but at the moment I thought that he is such a big contrast to me right now that she will fuck him anyway. My friend pushed me also to go home, and I thought dude I am taking them all the fun away because I am so fucked up right now. When saying goodbye, I stepped on the girl’s white shoe (but acted like I did not notice and just left my foot there), hugged her very weirdly and then headed home. I heard them saying something I could not grasp, but I thought she was saying: DAMN, he was weiiird. And my friend: Yeah haha I don’t why and then they both laughing at me.
Going home, I felt so shattered. I felt totally broken down, all my confidence and my ego, my self-image completely broken. All my results were just some delusion; it seemed. I felt like me six years ago - the shy nerd I was. And I am still the shy nerd deep-down.
I was thinking about subs and if this was all on purpose? Was this my subconscious guiding me? Was I so quiet because I had to see what the worst thing is that can happen if you aren’t working one yourself, or was it because the sub needs to break me down first, showing me that my results are all based on delusion?
@Fire @SaintSovereign I would really love to hear some kind words from you in how you interpret it because this must be one of the most significant traumas I had in the last years.
Be kind to yourself man. Don’t expect to be 100% perfect all the time.
All this means to me is that you are not desensitized to beauty. A great plan would be to aim to become friends with 2-3 perfect 10/10 girls, instead of having sex with them.
When you become friends with them, and see how they live, and talk normally with them, you will drop that pressure you put on yourself, and when you meet a perfect 10 girl you want to sleep with, it will be easier.
Subs won’t do magic. They will support your hard work to fixing your weaknesses. Now you know that weakness, so fix it, and let the subs help make that possible and easier to do.
Thanks, Amash! You’re a definitely right that I need to desensitize to BEAUTY.
I can’t travel now but I will think of other clever ways on how to.
The last past two days after my traumatic experience were rather quiet. Did not go out as much because I wanted to have a break, sit down, work a little bit more and tackle some personal issues.
However, I was not really productive because … insert stupid bullshit excuses.
I was hoping to see some improvements in this area of my life as well, but it is only Stage 1, so I guess I should not expect too much. Anyway, I created a system which allows me to block site/apps to specific times and dates so that I don’t waste my time as easily. Tried it today and it actually works wonders! Finished my work for a client, cleaned up my room etc. Also, I noticed that I have far less interest in useless things like video games and Netflix. Pretty sure this is a direct result from the sub.
Tomorrow is a new day. I will try to wake up early to finish my work first thing in the morning.
Ah and one more thing,
I was entering the subway today where I meet a dude I saw once or twice before. We exchanged hands real-quick, and I noticed how floppy his handshake was in contrast to mine, being strong and dominant. I felt like he was intimidated by me…
I studied a lot more in the last days and did not go out as a result.
Then there was a huge party again yesterday, and I feared that I would be in my head as I used to be after days of little social contact and work. But haha DAMN this time was DIFFERENT.
I just KNEW how to socialize, have fun and create the party around me - and after 10 minutes, I was in the fucking ZONE. I had a fantastic time, smiling and playing around.
There was a situation where I heard a conversation, and it was about some bullshit that made me angry inside. And my playful Primal Seduction vibe changed to the EMPEROR vibe. They shut up when I talked and listened carefully to my words. We had a small argument, but they quickly fell in my frame… This felt fucking great.
After that, the danced floor opened, and when I entered some girls, I knew shouted my name excited and happy to see me and have me here. I danced with them super seductively instantly. We danced some more. And my older sister, who happened to be there as well could not believe his eyes. It was me on the dance floor and three girls around me all trying to get my attention by dancing sexy. I danced some more with one girl, and after like 3 minutes she said: "Ah we can’t make out as you had something with all my friends and it would be weird". I just smiled because I could not believe it that she actually said this. NOTE: To all of you who are not into pick up, when she says something like this, she is thinking about it meaning if you don’t fuck it up, you are good to go. Literally 2 minutes later we were making out on the dancefloor!
To my background, the last time I had something with a girl was like seven months ago. SO I was excited! This was like the fastest make out ever. It was not even noon.
At this point, the night was done for me. Regardless of what happens, it is/was FUCKING AWESOME.
But the story does not end here. I tried to have even more fun. I went to the DJ and invited a girl with a boyfriend to come with me. I knew she was attracted to me and wanted to test if she would go for it. I FELT how hard she had to RESIST because my SEXUAL TENSION was fucking HIGH.
She actually passed the test haha so you mofos don’t need to judge me. Some other girls approached me, but they were not looking to my liking, so I left them.
Anyway, do you remember the girl I talked about in my last post?
We did not make out on that night, but we exchanged numbers, and I invited here to come to this party. And she did. At the point, I did not even care about here to be honest because I already made out with one girl. She saw me said hi, I introduced her to my friends, we danced blah blah. She was with her friends again, and I did not even want to bother because I just wanted to have fun.
We lost each other, and she later reapproached me alone. Hahah damn I KNEW IT WAS ON, THIS TIME. I built some high sexual tension and we MADE OUT! It felt fucking awesome, and it was actually a great kiss. I spare you the details
After she went home, I went to my friends again. There was I girl I know, and she told me: “Damn, I must say your kiss looked pretty fucking hot”. Could this night get any better? I told her that I couldn’t kiss anyone anymore today haha.
Later that night, I thought FUCK IT. Let’s see what goes. I danced with that girl and built some sexual tension, and you guessed it: We made out. This time was even more WILD and hotter than the times before. Something in me knew that she would LOVE when I would FINGER HER. I thought this must be the SEX MASTERY script haha. But I also knew that I could not pull this off in front of everyone and there is no location here which would be more private.
Guys, remember my background. I FUCKING MADE OUT with three different GIRLS on one fucking night. AND one of them was a complete stranger which I approached. I still really can’t believe what happened!
One thing I forgot to mention is that since day 4 or 5 I tend to see familiar faces in strangers when I look around. Like literally today I had the feeling several times that I could see my ex in the gym
I did not feel well today as I had very visual dreams last nights. I am pretty sure they are about some trauma - they feel VERY REAL. For example, the day before yesterday, I went to a place where I meet a lot of my friends. AND today in my dream happened to be exactly the SAME people ALSO chilling at a similar place in the same group. The dream was about that I invited all of them and acted cocky (I heard that this type of behaviour is attractive). And all of them denied, and SOMEBODY else planned the meetup. Not only that but they also told me how happy they were that Carmen (a friend of mine) volunteered to plan the meetup because they felt that I could not do it with without any real planning. But I put in the work behind the scenes just ACTED like I DID NOT CARE because I THOUGHT this is ATTRACTIVE. This made me very sad when I woke up…
The thing is, I would love to continue listening to stage 1 because I finally feel like ST1 is working on my traumas. Don’t get me wrong I enjoyed the fun ride in the last days, but the breakdown is why I started listening to it in the first place. AND I don’t want to lose my progress.
However, as I posted already in another thread, I have a life-deciding exam on August the 14th. And I need to study for it like a BEAST. So I will likely switch to ST3 or ST4 in the next days. 
I feel like I know u from somewhere 
Whuuut did we meet? 
@myspace123
Today, I AGAIN dreamt about a social event. I spare you details because nobody is gonna read it anyway haha, but I am pretty sure now that ST1 is working on something DEEP. Like today I felt like it was working on me being envy towards other guys when I see them being good with girls.
I had a friend in the past who always fancied the girls I LIKED. And we were like chatting, and I always TOLD him that I had a crush on HER, and he still ENDED UP stealing “my girl”. And since then, I always feel shit when I see a dude successfully flirting with a girl I like, too.
Since listening to ST1, I actually noticed that this feeling gets weaker. Like it loses control over me. And now I also see it mirrored in my dreams!
Started listening to Khan Complete
In the first three days, I had some horrific deep dreams. I was waking up regularly, which is untypical for me as I would need five separate alarm clocks to wake me up in the middle of the night.
During the day, I noticed I become a lot cockier and arrogant but in a good way. Also, my self-confidence is UNREAL! Oh and one more thing, yesterday in the gym, two separate girls started a conversation with me LOL haha. Some good stuff is happening ;=)
Hi guys! It’s me, Friday.
Back with a new update
I started Khan with running ST1 and then switched to ST4 after 28 days because of a major exam upcoming 14.8.
I first intended to post this entry under your journal @AMASH but it turned out too long
The first days of running ST4 (after 1 month of ST1) were much smoother than the first days of st1. I can recall how I was on the edge, shouting at people and being very emotionally unstable while running st1 for the first days.
When switching to st4 I did not feel any different than the last days on ST1. However, looking back I can clearly tell that I was much more energy-deprived.
To the effects of st4, I can’t tell much regarding girls as I am working 10 hours a day for my exam. Yet, there is one major thing that happened on Khan. I LOST the intend to impress. Before, especially, when texting I always thought “ÄHhh WHAT is the right THING to say?” “Which text message will seduce her?” “Ahh should I say these things?”. Of course, this was more subconsciously, but due running Khan I NOTICED these things. This completed changed now. I mean what is the point if you seduce a girl, and you always have to keep up a front? “To be the cool fucking PICKUP guy”. If she doesn’t love you for who you really are. If you can’t be radical honest because “she will loose interest”.
I am writing this with so much contempt lol
One thing that happened with st4 is that I feel like something is watching me in the dark. For example, yesterday I imagined to see a scary face … Real shit. Fucking scary.
But then what happens, when I think about my fear, I feel like how stupid this is. Why should there be something which is “waiting for me in the dark”? Why me? Dude I am not so special. If there would be a supernatural thing hiding somewhere, it would be in the white house in Trumps wardrobe. Thoughts come up like: Friday, don’t be so arrogant. Come down. You are just one tiny thing on this huge earth…
Idk, what this is with the ghosty thing. @Fire ? Might come from studying the whole day hahaha. Ah and yeah. With st4 Khan I WORK like a fucking BEAST! I pull of 9-10 hours a day of energized studying. I stopped procrastinating. I don’t use my phone until 1pm. My overall on phone time shrank from 2-3 hours a day to 30 mins…
But the most amazing thing is, that I found a completely new method to learn for my exam. Making my study so much more effective. And the funny part is that this method could make me huge amounts of money in the next years. I would not even put much more effort in because I literally creating this system for my own anyway. Pretty sure Khan is pulling off his magic here as well. Sadly the exam will be abolished after this one. So no money for me lol. Anyway, I am pretty sure I will be able to transfer this to another topic.
Also, later (not for my exam now, but for my study later) when I get people involved who study with me and will use the system, this could mean that we would get SOOOO much more free time to do more fun stuff. This will be so fun. I imagine how we will go out every night, seducing college chicks, while everyone else is working the whole night AND us also getting the same or even better grades.
Oh, and this system is no magic, it is just pretty genius
