Zan Perrion at his best… wow…
“I don’t want a companion, I want an angel.
I don’t want to date, I want to revere.
I don’t want a casual encounter, I want an exquisite encounter.
I don’t want to fill some void, I want to step into a shared light.”
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Reflections on Revelation of Spirit (2021 to now)
Sharing this because the effects and insights of RoS (which I ran 7 loops of in 2021) are as dominant and present in my mind now as they were then.
The ideals of “purpose” were permanently and irreversibly revealed to me.
They’re still slowly unfolding. The golden threads of fate are still being unwound.
Or perhaps, this simple quote says it best…
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Khan ST2 has done wonders for my posture.
I could go into detail, but there’s no need. If you need a posture journey, just know, it worked for me and could work for you.
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Hmm… I find it easier to set goals on washouts.
This has been a pattern I’ve noticed MANY times. Anytime I have a 7+ day washout, I end up with total clarity on what direction I want to go in in life.
I guess the “competing voices” in my mind all unify and create an overarching vision.
This is good to know.
Need direction? 7 day washout
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AoH & DivD effect on dreams
4:20 AoH / 30s DivD
Well… they were very happy dreams. They featured my fiancée but only the best parts of her - no ill will or negativity charged with her in the dream.
Felt happier than normal on wake, and didn’t have the “20 more minutes” feeling that I normally do. Was much easier to jump out of bed, shower, and meditate.
thanks to Khan and meditation, i’ve made more progress than I ever have in my life in understanding and the link between my trauma of getting cheated on in high school and my later sexual anxieties.
boo hoo woe is me
I was dating a girl for about a year who would cheat on me, and then if I wanted to break up with her, would slash her wrists (cut herself) and threaten to kill herself. So I was stuck in the relationship. Then I was afraid of getting cheated on more, so I turned to “fucking her like a pornstar” in the hopes that I could have sex with her well enough to make her forget about other guys.
There’s a lot of trauma that resulted. If I ever performed less than “total pornstar quality” my whole body would flood with shame and sensations of dying - “she’s going to cheat on me now”…
I’ve been trying to understand the connection between my patterns and my past for 15 years, totally failed, and now I’m starting to understand, and not just understand, but WORK WITH IT.
Khan is amazing.
@WinglissStark thank you for your post - inspired me to reflect even more deeply.
Looking to add in Love Bomb later if needed - starting wth AoH at the moment.
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Welcome back, and Happy New Year.
So, is the stack Khan Stage 2 and AOH?
Today was DivD 30s and Paragon sleep 6min
@Azriel i decided to re-introduce my Chosen/IC custom
Wealth Wise:
- Chosen will balance out Khan aggression
- NWE will wealth-ify Khan further
- NWE will modify paragon sleep to be more oriented towards becoming a morning person
- IC/Job Seeker will help me find a new sales gig
- Chosen/Job Seeker will help me succeed at the office politics
- Chosen will help me on the sales calls
**Socially/Romantically:**
Results towards women have been god damn incredible. Women LOVE me. And I love women. But with every woman I date, woo, encounter, etc, I realize the only part of the interaction that I value right now is the friendship. When I turn it into romance or physical intimacy I regret it. So, my whole goal is finding women that I deeply connect with and keeping it 100% platonic. (Will revisit this in a few months or when it feels right.)
This is different than celibacy. I thought I was celibate. I’m not. I’m just not interested in serious dating and I’m not interested in casual dating. I do have a friend I’d sleep with rn, her and I are talking about it - she’s in an open relationship.
- You Are Not Alone will help me cultivate female friendships with a spiritual bend (I’m really deep into meditation/buddhism right now, and I want some amazing female friends generally)
- Chosen will desexualize the hypersexuality of Khan without reducing the sexual energy, it’ll just help me channel it better socially
- Light Of Humility will temper the Khan ego
- Light Of Humility + Achilles’ Heel address my biggest weaknesses generally, socially, in work, etc. I’m predicting more open socializing (especially with women manifested by YAN-Alone)
- Fenrir adds edge to Chosen plus helps me temper (use appropriately) the edge of Fenrir. @Friday said it made him nicer 95% of the time but made his anger a force to be reckoned with, when needed
- Chosen helps me embody the “positivity” of the meditation/buddhism crowd that I feel so connected to right now.
**Long Term Vision**
In the long term, I don’t want to stick in sales. I want to be in counseling, or coaching, or leadership. I love and am obsessed with the training and development of people’s wellbeing and proficiency at the soft skills.
- Chosen is great for counseling, leadership, coaching, men’s work facilitation, general compassion in friendships - all the things that make up the totality of my life and goals are enhanced by chosen. Tack NWE on to take care of the rest
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Stack will be Chosen/IC custom + Paragon Sleep for a few weeks till I stabilize into a job.
Will be running tiny loops of Divine Diamond once, maybe twice, a week. 30s to start the exposure.
Then once I have a job I like, I'll reintroduce ST2, and continue from there.
Or maybe ST1 - we’ll see how “friendships with women” goes.
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This is a Khan journal not a Chosen journal so I won’t go into detail but I’ll just say Chosen is doing Chosen things.
I think this is my best attempt at explaining this concept ever.
TL;DR - Don’t stack switch to a sub in the same category, ever.
If you’re running WB and then have the urge to run LoTS - DONT - that desire is just a product of the physical shifting RESULTS you’re getting from WB
If you’re running Khan and want to run a sexual attractant sub on it within the first few weeks - DONT - that is just the RESULT of you getting more sexual attraction and prioritizing it higher in life than you did a few weeks ago.
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- 3 min Chosen/Ic
- 5 mins Paragon Sleep
Life without Khan is so boring 
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Why do you feel you cannot run Khan to achieve the results you are looking for in work?
You mentioned sub hoping
I think it’s the opposite, too,
people feel one sub will not be sufficient for a different area they now care about.
Like they can’t handle the other area on the current sub. Unless they are choosing a different sub as a tool for their immediate goals.
Subs can be a tool, and Khan may not be the best tool for specific areas, but it may support those areas overall more powerfully than any one tool.
To me, Khan can be a tool for state effect or dating; I’ve used it. Its real value is the ongoing growth that comes from running it extensively, I imagine.
I have been running 20 seconds of Khan Stage 2 a week alongside my other 3 subs and found it has enhanced things. I couldn’t go back to life fully without Khan lol
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I absolutely plan on running Khan and Chosen (custom) together.
I just want the IC/Job Seeker scripting to activate as fast as possible, with no heavy scripting slowing it down.
Already got a closing role so will be reintroducing ST1 or 2 or 4 idk yet.
Paragon Sleep is much much much needed at the moment
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Jan 7: Khan ST2 - 30s
@Azriel I decided to live a little and run 4 subs for a short period of time.
Khan, Paragon Sleep, Divine Diamond, Chosen (custom).
It’ll be a 2:1 ratio.
Mon/Wed: Chosen/Pzzz (5-8 mins)
Fri: Khan/DivD (0-3 mins)
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I like that approach. Will have to try it.
I almost got laid today, but turned it down.
And this wasn’t just any girl. I turned down sex with the ONE GIRL who I had said previously that I was willing to break my celibacy with.
“The One” and yet I still turned it down because the dynamic wasn’t right.
context of the girl I didn’t have sex with today
After my breakup I reignited an old “friendship” by eating her out and getting a handjob from her. (Thank you RoTNW!).
After that, she became the one girl I was willing to break celibacy for because we had so many deep and vulnerable conversations about sex, which basically just ended in her telling me she’s down to fulfill every fantasy I’ve ever had, exactly as I want. (And she already was doing that even just during giving me a handjob).
A month later she invites me to her wedding with less than 16 hrs notice.
I’m one of only two guests because it was so last minute, and I meet her now-husband, who i’d never met before, but who picked her up from my house after we hooked up.
But it’s all chill because they’re polyamorous. Lol.
Her wedding was a few days ago, and she and I hung out 1-1 today.
She was pretty clear that she wanted to only focus on her marriage for a while, not flings. To that end, she’d already broken up with her second boyfriend. So - her and I were just “friends” until further notice.
After 4 or 5 hours hanging out, we start cuddling and touching intimately on my bed.
That’s still in the “allowed” zone of boundaries I guess.
Things got progressively more and more sexual. She eventually broke the “no sex” rule by grabbing my hand, putting it inside her pants so that I can finger her, and telling me she wanted to fuck me.
I slowed down, stopped fingering her (after enjoying it for a while), and told her straight up, “hold on I want to talk to you for a second.”
“I definitely wanted to have sex with you, but not if you’re going to feel like it was impulsive and then regret it after. I’d rather not fuck you but still talk to you, then fuck you and not talk to you after.”
Because like I said, us having sex wouldn’t exactly be “cheating” but it would be a bit of breach of trust.
Poly is complicated Lol.
We agreed not to have sex, but, our container stayed fun, intimate, connected, it was a good repair and reset.
All in all, I am just so freaking UNBELIEVABLY happy with the main result I’ve gotten from Stage 2 which has been complete and utter detachment from the need for sex.
I still love sex.
But the NEED for sex, to fix something, or just to feel something, is gone. I am as happy with sex as without sex.
I have raised my standards to only ever even considering the absolute highest caliber and quality of sex possible -
- only with extremely secure women,
- only when we have a great connection,
- only if they’re not expressing any sexual shame or guilt,
- and only when it’s 100% desired by both parties before, during, & after.
- and only when I truly genuinely like them so much that I’m satisfied when I spend time with them and sex never happens…
It’s such a better way to live than trying to sleep with girls that only sort of liked me just to boost my ego, or girls who would later cause me major strife from their guilt or sexual shame, or girls who I didn’t really like but just wanted to sleep with.
This. Is. Way. Better.
If I had slept with that girl today, there would have been shame, regret, guilt.
and also…
I probably would have lost her as a friend or at least lost the opportunity to have a transparent relationship with her in the future. I would have caused drama in a new marriage (not cheating drama, because they’re in an open relationship, but still drama, because they both made it clear to each other they weren’t interested in seeing other ppl for a bit).
Only a freaking absolutely high status man turns down sex and is happy about it - I am that high status man.
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