À la limite jouissance - KHAN

Journals - Major Programs
#1

à la limite, jouissance

“At the limit, Jouissance.”

Jouissance

Sigmund Freud introduced to us the pleasure principle. A great truth, in its own right. Man shall seek pleasure above all else.

But it was the french psychologist Jacques Lacan who introduced the (now obvious) concept that there’s always too much of a good thing. Even pleasure.

That pleasure, in excess, has a painful component to it. An unbearable intensity.

The moment when you’ve been watching reels on instagram and it’s been hilarious laughter for an hour, and now your eyes hurt, you’re sort of laughing, and you wish you could stop. Jouissance.

Pleasure and Pain, swirling together, in a way that you don’t want to have continue but you can’t bear to make stop.

A self-destructive element, where we chase pleasure by overriding the limits meant to protect us from suffering.

The struggle of saints - jouissance.

"The pain was so sharp that it made me utter several moans; and yet so surpassing was the sweetness of this excessive pain, that I could not wish to be rid of it." (Saint Teresa of Ávila - describing Spiritual Jouissance.)

The Serpent eating it’s own tail - Jouissance - Ouroboros

image

We seem symbolic representation of the Jouissance even within the ancient symbol of the Ouroboros from over 4000 years ago.

Rebirth is a painful process. Growth is a painful process. Transformation is a painful process.

When the Phoenix transforms, it burns alive, before being reborn. Reborn into a Phoenix, or, after many many cycles, reborn into a dragon even.

When the Khan (the real Genghis Khan) became conqueror of the world, it started with his complete exile from his community. His near death. The loss of his wife.

And no greater experience of Jouissance can be found here at subliminal club, apart from those three subliminals.

**Dragon Reborn: Phoenix. **

**Dragon Reborn. **

Khan.

Now it is time for me to be reborn. Again.

Tonight, I break up with my fiancee, end our engagement, and live my new life, with a firm commitment to authenticy, power, mastery, expression, and radical honesty, all of which I have suppressed for the “benefit” of my relationship.

And a recommitment to having a life I love, friends I love, and to become everything Khan can make of me.

The serpent is never done eating his own tail.

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ENDGAME ouroboros
#2

We are here for you brother!

#3

Listened to two loops of Khan ST2 so far. Each around 3-5 minutes. The anger…

The Anger…

This has been strongly present.

And of course all the attention that comes with being so respected and powerful.

But that anger… sweet, sweet, Jouissance.

I saw a reel from a psychologist that anxiety can only be present in the absence of anger - because Anger is the expression and protection of your boundaries.

If you are at work and your boss asks you to work overtime tonight instead of dinner with your family… you have two responses.

Anger: Protecting your boundaries, creating conflict, confirming your stance.

Anxiety: Worrying about your job, what would happen if you asserted a boundary, saying no, upsetting your boss.

As @RagnarLothbrok has wisely done, TWTP here makes you much better at elegantly defending your boundaries.

But the anger of my relationship, the boundaries crossed, the respect not given, the “attention seeking” mode I need to be in to keep peace in the relationship, it’s anger, and it hurts, but it feels right.

Every subliminal I’ve ever ran that has had even the SLIGHTEST seduction scripting has made me want to break up. Even Heartsong. It’s time for me to dive head first into that scary world, no longer avoid it, no longr submit to the fact that “my subconscious doesn’t want to be in this relationship so I shouldn’t listen to subliminals that help me access that part of my subconscious.”

I had these panic attacks as well. The moment I ran Khan, staying the same became deeply unbearable. Every night, 3 nights in a row, I was up till 4am, tossing, turning, mind racing, unable to sleep.

Once I realized I needed to end my engagement, I started to calm down, feel peace. I called friends and talked to them about the idea.

It was decided.

And once it was decided, Jouissance.

I spent almost an hour building a karaoke playlist on YouTube, songs that I love, and I sang them in my room, enjoying myself alone more than I have in a very very long time.

Jouissance

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#4

@Spartan are you more interested in the Spartan aesthetic than the Khan aesthetic these days?

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#5

I see them as very similar in my vision.
A mixture of both creating something unique.

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#6

Wow that’s intense.

I will also say subs can bring out/highlight different parts of ourselves and our desires. All true to us but sometimes one side coming forth can skew the value of another. I have a heuristic against making strong life alterning decisions when newly running subs.

So are you ending your relationship or just the engagement?

#7

I’m putting breaks on, telling her I need some time alone to figure out what I really want.

here’s why

I’ve been completely unable to vision board or find deep motivation over the last 6 months because my “future” got decided when I got engaged and I started realizing how much I am not excited by it. It’s someone else’s vision, not mine.

And I haven’t been able to manifest or project abundance into the future because when I try and think from a place of possibility, my options feel limited.

I want to do this career…

ah but my partner would panic if I had that much success and was surrounded by people all the time… better to just not consider this in the possibilities, I’ll find something I enjoy and she can handle

Or I want to go to school for this

*ah that wouldn’t be great for my relationship even though it’s what I really want, I better stop thinking about this before I psych myself up about how much I want it.

Once I’ve done that, without worrying about her “opinion” on what I want for my life, we can reconvene, but honestly I feel pretty confident it’ll be over. I’ve been avoiding engagement stuff. She asked me once if we should put down a down payment towards a venue and my whole body flooded with resistance (months ago.)

Honestly I get not changing things on new subs but I decided this a while ago and just didn’t have the courage. I was worried about how it would affect my fam, my cousins and their upcoming baby, my parents.

I feared finding a new partner(s) after, basically I feared thinking I’ll be a ladies man and then actually being an incel.

I feared losing financial security in a partner because she’s quite good with money.

I feared judgement from other people.

I feared regretting it because I’m lonely/unhappy after.

But I don’t fear losing the relationship. It gives me a lot, but I lose more. She’s a great girlfriend for me, but not what I want in a life/wife.

(She’s incredible wife material, her main values are family, stability, and social harmony, she’ll be an amazing wife and mom to someone. But those aren’t my values. So it can’t be my life.)

Khan ST2 gave me the confidence.

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#8

Oh beauty.

jouissance.

“We’ve gotta get you to the hospital”

”Just shut up and let me enjoy this pain.”

  • David Goggins
#9

So your stack is Khan + EWTP?

I’m very excited for you, sad to hear about your break up and I hope you will find yourself in this chaotic life.

#10

Dude I had this same exact conversation with my friend the other day, he loves this girl but not in a way where she’s a wife but he loves her as a person and he’s been trying to make it work using couples therapy, etc.

The reasons for staying with her has been purely because of external thoughts and opinions, such as how close he is with her family, his family, etc,

He’s been keeping it up for other ppl without taking his own into account.

I told him if it’s not a he’ll fucking yes sign me up yesterday, he should just wait until that shows up in his life. You cannot force yourself to like something or want something, it has to be you and it has to be an effortless thing.

Idk about how ur relationship went bro, but if your gut tells you something always listen to it

#11
continued chat about break up, off topic

I had these exact same fears before deciding to end it. I was worried about how it would affect all these external people - but not really myself.

Just ended it about 20 minutes ago, she didn’t take it great, but, it was a really good conversation. I opened up, she did too, both shared some raw emotion, and our communication skills are obviously a primary feature of our relationship - we’ve gotten quite good at communicating peacefully through conflict.

It’s just a “break” right now anyways with an end date of Jan 10th where we reconvene and reassess after that. I go to a friend’s cabin for a few days next week, then I end up in a meditation retreat from the 18th-29th, and then I do new years alone to reflect on my future. VERY intensive introspection coming. Not about our relationship, just on what I genuinely want, free from any expectations or pressures to want a certain thing because it’s what’s best for “us.”

I have to think about what’s best for “me” and my individual life, and then, if we get back together, come to her as the strongest individual I can be to contribute as much to the relationship as I can.

I have to be my own man, first and foremost, whether or not I’m in a relationship with her.

This is something people have suggested to me a fair bit. I’m doing personal counselling, but couple’s isn’t appealing. We’ve had great success with a few couples’ sessions, but they’re great for helping people bridge gaps in communication and get better at dealing with conflicts. They’re not for my situation, where what I need to do is have a conversation with MYSELF.

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#12

Khan for sure. We’ll see about other subs

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#13

Khan Goals: rebuild a friend group with guys and attractive girls that share hobbies with me

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#14

Jordan Petersen on Jouissance

“So pleasurable it’s unbearable”

On a side note, it’s funny how the Goggins and Petersen quote are both about dating Latin women :rofl:

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#15

When you do your 10 day meditation retreat will you be doing a washout during that time as well?

If not perhaps it would be a good time to run Total Breakdown.

#16

Rebuild or build a new one?

#17

Does that mean enjoyment?

#18

You can read the description in the initial post for the definition, or, to see it viscerally explained as felt in the moment, watch Jordan peterson talk about it in the IG reel I shared

#19
Off Topic

I think a washout will be needed and helpful. But I’m looking into the idea of sneaking a phone in. If I can’t find one that ONLY has subliminals on it though, I won’t, and that seems difficult

#20

Maybe mp3?