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Journals - Major Programs
#133

Feeling like my Muay Thai custom, while great, still needs a bit of work.

Don’t feel that Omnidimensional was the right choice, I’d like to re-add DEUS and Submodel Alpha again, and create space for SPS: Cardiovascular System.

The current list:

Cores:
Mind’s Eye Core
Muay Thai Mastery X Core

Modules:
Heracles
Carpe Diem Ascended
Extreme Exercise Motivation
Equilibrium
Inexhaustible
APS: Legs
SPS: Muscular System
BERSERKER
BLINK
Harmonic Singularity
Master’s Coordination
Serum X
Thunder
Elegance
SPS: Fat Burn
All-Seeing
Deep Sleep
Omnidimensional

Replace Omnidimensional and Mind’s Eye with DEUS, Submodel Alpha, SPS Cardiovascular and the Legacy means I have to remove two modules. I think I might do this custom in ZPT as well, 'cause fuck it why not.

And so the planning continues…

1 Like
#134

Cores:
Chosen: Way of Nature
Limitless Executive

Modules:
Machine: Action
Organization Perfected
Productivity Unleashed
Harmonic Singularity
Carpe Diem Ascended
Eye of the Storm
Technological Prodigy
Joie de Vivre
Victory‘s Call
Khronos Key
Achilles
Index Gate
Overdrive
The Lines
Deep Sleep
The Way of ROI
Fusion Optimized

This would free up 2 slots on my muay thai custom, but it’ll be a while before this custom gets into action.

1 Like
#135

Muay Thai Mastery X at work today.

During the clinch, my partner got a double overhead grip (also known as the full thai plum) on me - for those who don’t know, this is the worst position you could be in because it makes you most susceptible to getting your face and guts obliviated by knees and elbows.

Anyway, he gets the doubles on me and for some reason, I decide to just get on my tip toes and ram my forehead downwards onto his jawline, just continuously applying pressure (not a headbutt, more like me using my head to push him). Sure enough he loses the grip and falls on the ground.

First time I ever tried that “sweep”, and I’m shocked at how successful it was. I feel like MTMX did its thing here, and I’m very happy about that.

4 Likes
#136

One thing I’ve realized in school is that I dominate the classroom, despite being the second youngest person in the entire room.

I provide value, people ask me for feedback and help, teachers step aside to allow me to speak more than any other students, whenever I speak everyone listens and some people even try to be competitive with me. My biggest advantage is in being the best communicator in the room by far, better than all but one of my teachers.

This has been going on for quite some time, so I think it’s just a result of general progression with my masculinity and not just specifically the results of one sub.

2 Likes
#137

What if I turned this into a Stark custom instead? Stark as a core, with productivity, maxed out to the umpteenth degree.

#138

Completed my 500 push ups. Easier than I thought it would be.

Crazy to think that I started 2021 without the ability to complete even a single push up. Here we are, September 2022, and I did 500 in a day 'cause a Youtube video challenged me to do so.

Sure, there’s plenty of people younger than me that are ahead of me. Most of them probably did not have to deal with the shitty background that I had - not making excuses, just reality - but I’m happy to say that all I’ve done is continue to progress from that point.

Rebuilding myself day by day. From a broken boy, into a machine built to destroy.

6 Likes
#139

“I’ll take my time anywhere
Free to speak my mind anywhere,
And I’ll redefine anywhere,
Anywhere I roam”

Bars.

1 Like
#140

Amazing how Khan has simultaneously made me significantly more horny while also making me care significantly less about sex.

I understand the hype now. I never want to come off of this sub lol.

6 Likes
#141

Man I just had an enlightening moment, realized that I had always manifested the idea that my little sister would be the most successful person, and that’s artificially limited my own potential psychologically.

I need to remove that block from my mind to be able to excel at a quicker rate than I currently am at the moment.

1 Like
#142

On the recommendation of a few more experienced members, I experimented with running a 4th loop of Rebirth once a week.

I regret it immensely. It’s fucked me mentally and psychologically. I was having an immense amount of progress running Khan stage 1, it was such a great experience. But running that Rebirth loop twice has ruined everything.

I failed to take into account the fact that I was switching from QL stage 2 to QL stage 3, so that further messed things up for my subconscious.

I found myself caving into my weakness and my past addictions again, my productivity has diminished significantly, I have tripped into the darkness again.

I need help. I need to help myself.

1 Like
#143

Starting with a minimum 1 week washout, maybe I’ll do 1 loop of rebirth only for a cycle and take it from there.

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#144

Gonna take it all back in control starting today. Get my grip back on things.

These 9 days of hell and recon are done for, I’m in a washout and have no reason to succumb to previous vices. Time to get back into gear.

Today is the beginning of the psychological, spiritual, social detox. Tomorrow begins the physical and intellectual detox.

1 Like
#145

Good on you for wanting to do a lot of healing. Khan stage 1 and Rebirth might be a good combination if used in moderation. Perhaps 1 week washout, then run Rebirth at 5 minutes once a week, along with Khan twice a week at 5 minutes each, and notice what happens.

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#146

I actually have no intention whatsoever to do a lot of healing to be quite honest with you. I just ran Khan stage 1 and experienced a taste of the ultimate domination and relaxation feeling that was borderline therapeutic, and I want more but I’m just trying to figure out how.

I’m contemplating on how I should go about it. Wondering if I should put my muay thai custom on hold since it’s not really a priority of mine, and perhaps continue to run QL stage 2 instead of going to stage 3.

Rebirth, Khan Stage 1 and QL Stage 2 might just be the way for me to go but I’ll be honest; if I get recon from that stack, I’m exiting the Khan train for the time being. I think running Rebirth was kinda what f**ked it all up for me so whether it’s the actual healing or the by-product of using a 4th loop is for me to find out, once I resume my subliminal use between October 7 and 10.

If I cancel Khan, I’m gonna run LBFH instead.

1 Like
#147

Recon has completely messed me up. I feel hopeless and lost, and things keep compounding and getting worse. Don’t even want to post here, because people don’t really give a shit; they like you when things are going well but they’ll toss you out when it’s the opposite. I feel nervous about not running any subs at the moment, and I know that’s a by-product of the recon because I’ve never felt that before.

Self-pity, hopelessness, dependence; these are the feelings I’m going through right now. I should be able to let my mind rationalize and conquer those emotions and yet I cannot for the moment.

September 21, I felt like I was completely up and ready to destroy, progressing more than ever before. 10 days later and I feel like I’m back to the very beginning, over a year’s worth of progress gone to waste.

The future is deceptive. We should be grateful for every moment that we have. It can all be taken away instantly.

I wonder if I should try running LBFH. Think I need some self-love and love for others at the moment, just to get myself back on track. Or maybe I should just bite down and go all in on Rebirth and Khan stage 1, forge myself in the fire.

I pride myself on my mental toughness. I am clutch, I excel when the pressure mounts, I get stronger when I see people around me get weaker. But my greatest enemy is my greatest ally, and that is my mind.

What I need is to gain control over my inner voice again. My inner voice needs to be as gallant as it was before, my inner voice needs to remember that a man does not do what he wants, a man does what is needed. I need to do what is needed, I cannot waste all the progress I have made.

5 Likes
#149

I really appreciate this message, thank you.

This is very true, and actually a bit of a pattern in my life where, despite being the most knowledgeable on a matter, I’ll defer to other people and their opinions. I’m pretty sure that it has something to do with feeling ostracized as a kid for being very smart, so the idea of deferring to others and/or dumbing myself down to be more relatable seems like the root cause of this.

Yeah, seems like that is the best way to go.

You are 100% right on this. Instead of being very methodical and precise like I usually am, I took a quick chance at trying something that I had a feeling wouldn’t work anyway. My ambition, impatience and, to be quite honest insecurity, was what worked against me here.

I chose to ran Rebirth because I was confused with the lack of recon that I was experiencing from Stage 1. I wasn’t going through a “total breakdown” (ask and ye shall receive lol) so I thought that I wasn’t getting the right results but in retrospect, I was clearly aware and satisfied with the results that I was having.

Fucking poetic. It means nothing because it is nothing. As Meek once said, wins and losses come with being bosses.

1 Like
#150

An interesting thing to note.

I was shopping with family and we were in some designer handbag store since that’s what they were looking for. They said that they remembered me because I was surrounded by women (they didn’t realize that they were all family) and they remembered my positive interactions with their staff, despite the fact that I really didn’t do anything much or out of the ordinary. I was running Stark at the time however, so I suspect that I stuck out that much more so that the second time I ever went, they clearly remembered who I was. I just thought that was odd, as I’m not a regular or anything like that.

#151

Is recon still hitting? Yeah I’d say so, even during this washout period. But thankfully, I feel like I’m being somewhat productive again with my time. School’s a lot more intense now, but that just means it’s more entertaining.

1 Like
#152

Man, I try to be more productive and all that happens is that I’m hit with major fatigue and a headache. This shit’s been happening almost every day since the 22nd, starting to get real fucking annoyed with this shit.

I was in bed for a few hours trying to sleep from how exhausted I felt, couldn’t even do that. So I decided to just get out of bed and get some work done, it’s really all I could do at this point.

1 Like
#153

Then perhaps just go to stage 2.

But perhaps washout for about 1 week or so.