The Adventures of SubliminalUser

Journals - Major Programs
#99

Chpater 3

Continuing the Momentum

It’s been 27 days since the last journal entry? How? I’m not even frequenting the forums daily anymore. That’s how I know things have changed.

The stack in this current chapter is a continuation of the previous one:

  • Emperor Fitness ST2
  • Mind’s Eye
  • Chosen
  • Ascension Chamber

With this month being one of dry fasting, I’d like to continue to lose more fat. Exercising is going to be hard but certainly possible. Just need to time it to be closer to the end of the fast, so I can rehydrate and refeed not long after my lifts and runs.

I of course am continuing to work on my career. That has motivated my use of Chosen this whole time. As long as I don’t get the particular promotion I’m looking for, this is staying in my stack. Have I noticed the benefits? Yes. Some teammates have been helping me get the work opportunities I need to demonstrate that I’m ready. My manager is looking to work with me on a growth plan. I’ve been pushing through this year with an amazing sense of optimism and positivity. Seriously—month for month, I feel so much better this year than I did last year. As for my voice, I have noticed some improvements which may be coming from Chosen as well as other parts of my stack as well as the actions I have been taking, such as exercise which would improve hormones. Chosen is helping me become the optimistic leader I need to be in these times.

Mind’s Eye and Ascension Chamber, of course, are great tools for manifestation that are enabling me to increase my power consistently. I wish I could run AsCh right now, but I’m not doing that because I’m in the middle of my dry fasting window. I’m so glad that AsCh doesn’t take up a slot because this is going to be in my stack long-term, even after I take out ME. Anyway, what I want to do is figure out routines and practices beyond the list method that I can do to manifest what I want!

I received a notification that someone recently liked this message from the Mind’s Eye ZP thread, which made me ask myself how much closer I am to this. I have much lower doubt now that I shape my external reality and can manifest whatever I put my mind to. The potential is there. This sentiment guides me to switch out ME for something else once I finish three full rotations of it (which will happen at the start of chapter 3.5, since I started ME at the beginning of chapter 1.5).

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#100

Can you share any examples?

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#101

Hmm. It’s been 10 days since the last entry. Things are not as they used to be. The momentum of my journal habit has interfered with many times this year. First, it was the trip I did out of the country back in late January. Then came the extended fast I did in February. Of course, I wasn’t too hot on reestablishing daily journaling in March, as this journal had a whopping one entry from me that entire month. And now we have April, a month of dry fasting, and a month whose schedule takes me away from the usual productive flow.

Journaling needs improvement. And of course, there are some other challenges I could talk about. Here I’ll just mention fitness. EF ST2 has given the good downward pressure on weight in the midst of relatively unhealthy meals that this month has presented. I’ll be honest though, I haven’t measured my weight this month (bad, I know)—but I’m getting an extensive scan done soon so I’ll have to face the truth soon enough! Amazingly, I continue to lift 4 days a week and run at least 3 days a week. Yea, that’s down from 7—sometimes it’s just tough to do after lifts on lifting days due to energy and time constraints; I exercise in the evenings close to the time of breaking my fasts, as opposed to mornings. However, I’ve kept up the exercise game and have not lost strength so far! Let’s see where EF ST2 continues to take me.

At work, I’ve been surprisingly productive and effective. I am executing the main project fairly quickly. i thought I’d be fighting through the workday to get tasks done, but that is not the case. Even the stuff around being a leader, taking initiative, and giving direction to my peers and the wider team is getting better. I decided to tell my manager that I’d like to facilitate another team discussion which he appreciated. On top of that I’m going to try getting a project (that I didn’t work on) that’s been stagnating out to people—even more things to do.

I also have to lead myself through these times, of course. That takes me to the next event coming up. Soon, I will be telling my parents that I’m going to be moving out of my house. That this is coming up soon brought up some worries earlier today. But I realized wait a minute:

  • I’m not a kid anymore
  • I’m very financially well off (let’s say affording an apartment isn’t an issue)
  • I’m going to be rooming with one of my best friends. Probably the best person I could be rooming with at this point in time—we had even roomed back during our college days.
  • On top of all of this I’m going to be in the same region for the time being. I could visit my parents at their house every weekend in theory, (just to give a sense of the travel distance).

I was going through my manifestation lists and reviewing what I had written over the past few days and came across statements related to my parents being okay with the outcome and with me happily moving to the apartments. When I found these statements, I became more relaxed and cheerful once again. Because I know what I write manifests into reality. With Mind’s Eye, the power, accuracy, and likelihood of that have only increased, and the probability of manifesting the negative has decreased since ME has scripting to prevent myself from doing negative manifestations.

That all being said, I’m going to ask for some good luck from you all! :smiley:

On "luck"

At this point, I know we all create our own 'luck." Some might even say there’s no such thing as ‘luck.’ But I digress, and used the saying above merely because its a colloquialism :slight_smile:

3 Likes
#102

Trusting that all will work out in your favor. Cheers👍

1 Like
#103

Big Update

Update for everyone (and @TheSunlightCaller, thanks for the trust): it worked out. I announced my decision. My parents were a bit taken aback by it. After I explained my decision as well as got some smart support from my siblings, my parents understood it. I know my mom was particularly a little tearful for a bit—I know neither of them wanted me to move out, but they had been expecting it to happen at some point. :smiley:

The Weekend

I really like the way this weekend went. Though I can’t quite tie it back to my main stack. There is one day notable though, because I feel it has EF ST2 partially involved. How? Well, while I was dry fasting I:

  • Ran (LISS Treadmill) in the morning
  • Toured some places in the afternoon
  • Did multiple sports later in the day

I think EF ST2 has worked on the portion of helping me tap into my energy reserves and utilize them better. Now that said, I have decided to make the switch to ST4 soon. I took a body scan on that same day and it turns out I have still a bit of fat to lose based on my percentage before I could start a pure bulking phase. I discussed the results with my friends who also does these scans and realized that hold on a minute, I still have enough fat where I could be doing body recomposition rather than a strict cutting phase! And guess what subliminal could help me do that body recomposition better…that’s right, Emperor Fitness ST4!

So Apr 21 will be the final day of stack 3a which has:

  • EF ST2
  • Chosen
  • Mind’s Eye

And will be switched to 3b after a 5-day washout to:

  • EF ST4
  • Chosen
  • Mind’s Eye

Experimental

I tried to use the True Social original lifecharger twice, yesterday and today due to social events. Today’s run was interesting since it was ran right after AsCh. The theory is that TS’s guided component could link in with the manifestation abilities I am developing to provide some results. I’m not sure how much it helped me at these events. What I can say, however, is that I don’t have recon right now.

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#104

Ringing the bells here everyone. I am deciding to start a washout NOW and move to a different sub. I would like suggestions for what to work on that’s good for around 1 stack run)

I’m thinking of running Primal since it’s:

  • Light (so minimal days needed to absorb, like Ascension—I think 1 45-day run may be enough)
  • Based on Inner State
  • Would be part of the groundwork with regards to social/romantic stuff, the other life track that I’m building runs/stacks around but haven’t dipped into yet. (We can say the track focused on so far this year is career—I’m running Chosen until I get my career goal).

Seeking early comments while I go get dinner. @Invictus

#105

Further Deliberation on the Next Sub

Today has become the first of a 4-day washout. On 04/22/22 (magical!) I will be starting my next stack, which is:

  • ME
  • Chosen
  • ???

In yesterday’s entry, I highlighted EF ST4 as the next title to introduce. However after seeing Invictus’s results with EF during Ramadan I decided to switch things up myself. If the guy with the highest flow factor (not me—not yet anyways :wink: ) isn’t able to work with EF during Ramadan then EF isn’t going to work for me either.

That pushes running EF ST4 to starting at the beginning of Stack 4 (May 16 - June 30). However, I realize this is also a challenging time to start the EF ST4 run. When I run ST4, I want to run it across several stacks, unbroken. But I know that stack 5 is going to be a “social interlude” where I introduce my social custom (which I discussed in the customs thread and features IC + HS) and have a complete stack that gets me ready for the social track of subs.

A Personal Subliminal Roadmap

In other words, I’ve been planning out my future setup like this:

Stack 3a (just ended):

  • ME
  • Chosen
  • EF ST2

Stack 3b (April 22 - May 15)

  • ME
  • Chosen
  • ?

Stack 4 (May 16 - June 30)

  • ME
    • Option to early exit into custom as part of a “Stack 4b” because I will reach 3 stack rotations of ME in the middle of this stack (I started ME back in Stack 1b).
  • Chosen
  • ?

Stack 5 (July 1 - Aug 15)

  • (IC + HS Custom)
    • Interesting to note this is like a “social manifestation” successor to ME. That’s almost by design, since I believe manifestation is one of the most important skills to develop now.
  • (Another social-related title to get me up to speed. Daredevil? Libertine? Hmm…)
  • Khan ST1

Stack 6 looks like this:

  • (Custom)
  • Chosen (If career objective has not been met by this time) OR social sub
  • EF ST4

Notice:

  • Chosen has been in my stack since the beginning of the year, due to the pursuing of some career goals. I’d be willing to keep it in my stack the entire year to achieve that goal, but I can possibly achieve it halfway through. That said, I think taking a one-stack break via Stack 5 can help me achieve bloom on Chosen as well as let me integrate some social subs.
  • As you can see, the “?” is what I’m stuck on right now. That EF doesn’t really work during Ramadan and would have less than two stack runs (of EF ST4) before the pause in ST5 puts me in my current spot.

The Case for Primal

What if you decide that you do not wish to leave your sexual and dating life up to external circumstances and what others dictate to you? What if you decide, that since it is your life, you should have control over it?

To me, Primal appears to be a great candidate for the current slot, perhaps going into stack 4. Here’s why I think so.

  • It is a relatively light title, meaning I do not have to run it for that long to potentially feel satisfied with said run.
    • For reference, I thought my 21-day Ascension run was pretty good—while I could receive more benefits with a longer run I don’t think I’d necessarily have to do that over say, running Khan which I will eventually do.
    • I do acknowledge that I might need to run longer than expected (currently 45 days), but not that much longer. So it’s nice to know that I could run it through the end of stack 4. Hmm, now that I think about it, it probably would be a great idea to run this through stack 4.
  • Works on the sexual self which hasn’t gotten that much subliminal development this year.
  • Focuses on the inner development. I feel that I need to do this a lot when it comes to the stuff Primal focuses on. I notice that I don’t particularly feel that free to act out my primal sexual self in an outward social way that’d get me somewhere in the romantic department. I’ve looked back on my interactions and I can see that.
    • This focus on the inner also puts me at ease given the current conditions which make it a bit hard to run titles that are more heavily focused on the outer (e.g. S&S, PS or Khan ST3).
  • It is development for the social track. Although I originally envisioned that the first half of the year is purely career/self-focused in subs and the latter in social, I think I can do well in both aspects without having to have such a sharp division. Primal is part of getting myself set up.
  • Potentially fits with Khan ST1 like pieces of a puzzle, if I were to run Khan ST1 right after stopping Primal.

What do you guys think of this strategy?

.

@Lion @Invictus @RVConsultant @Malkuth @Brandon @DarkPhilosopher

4 Likes
#106

I love how well thought out your plan is for the next few months. This is inspirational. I have plans in my head but seeing them in black and white may prove for me to be the key to a better implementation to my subs.

1 Like
#107

Reading your thinking and reasons, I think it makes a lot of sense to use Primal.

What captured my attention the most was:

So, I was thinking that since you know that Ramadan is a definite factor and commitment during this time, it might be good to play a title that fits well with your experience of Ramadan.

For some people, fasting and prayer brings out a kind of a state of emotional openness and raw vulnerability; for others it might bring out a clarity of mind and thought; for some it may let them turn inward and process the past; and for others it might be a time of meditation and alignment with higher, guiding principles.

I’m just thinking about what this time and this practice might bring out of you the most, and then treating that like a ‘wave’ and using the subliminal as a surfboard to ride that wave.

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#108

This is an interesting suggestion as it ties into how I’ve been considering this month. Good on you, @Malkuth, for this idea. It is exactly the reflection I’ve done on my life and what I want to get better at next that has brought me to this point.

Recap of Previous Stacks

.

@TheSunlightCaller, this one’s for you!

Stack 1a

  1. Paragon
  2. Chosen
  3. Emperor

Stack 1b

  1. ME
  2. Chosen
  3. Emperor

Stack 2a

  1. ME
  2. Chosen
  3. Ascension

Stack 2b

  1. ME
  2. Chosen
  3. EF ST2

Stack 3a (just ended!)

  1. ME
  2. Chosen
  3. EF ST2

As you can see, there have been two long-running parts of this year’s sub runs: ME and Chosen. ME because I need to develop my manifestation to the highest extent to achieve all my goals, and Chosen to become the leader I need to be, chiefly in work. Chosen has a clear end goal, which is to achieve a particular promotion. ME of course helps me manifest that, as well as a general base of ability. Using the suggestion from Saint that “three stack runs will go a long way” I find that I’m good after stack 4a, although there’s a good chance it’s also a part of stack 4b (note: if 4a and 4b are the same then we’d just call both parts stack 4).

That’s all good. I am not knocking the fact that I have focused on such. Going into this year I knew that manifestation is THE key skill to develop, and also that I want to get promoted this year so I don’t have to worry as much about career progression afterward; this next promotion is a key junction point in my overall career. It is good financially and also frees up more of my mind to focus on other domains, some of which have been underdeveloped not just this year but also in general. That includes…

The Second Domain

If I had to give this domain name subliminal club keywords, it would be:

  • Romance
  • Skills
  • Social
  • Status

Lately, I’ve had my mind, eye (and mind’s eye :laughing: ) on this aspect, given the current month promoting a lot of reflection as well as me getting older. Simply put, I’m disappointed in the way things in this department have turned out. I have some great close friends. General social circle is OK. I can see ways in which it can expand (and even ways it’s expanding right now) but it’s a bit slow. I first theorized the idea of having a great and fully-fledged inner circle—using that exact term even before joining SC—back in late 2019 and I don’t think I’m just there yet. Of course, I have to cut myself some slack because of the way the world changed after that year…

But what’s going on with the romantic/sexual aspect? Not many great things to say here, to be honest. I don’t feel as if the opportunities come by often. I feel to take massive action, but in what way? Where’s the motivation when the time comes? What really stuck to me was when this past weekend I met this one woman at an event and at one point we were at a bar just sitting and chatting. Yea, that’s great—I enjoyed the conversation, also got complimented for my successes. That’s a marker of something good with regards to general social stuff, but I’m looking for more than that. Where was my desire, let alone showcasing of sexual intent?

The main thing I’ve tried to do related to this aspect of life in recent times has been NF, and even that hasn’t gone so well recently. Which is a shame, given the current month and all. I theorize that because I am not showing the outward expression of my primal self (because I don’t feel free to for whatever reason) that becomes the perverse inward expression that ultimately doesn’t do me much good. I really want to change that.

So here I am.

Listening Strategy

Since Primal is the newest addition to the stack and is going to be around shorter relative to the two other members (ME and Chosen), I’m doing this listening strategy which I’ve done for some of the earlier stack runs where I knew one of the titles weren’t going to be around for long (e.g. Ascension).

  • A: Primal + ME
  • Rest Day
  • B: Primal + Chosen

This will get me the programming for Primal while staying in what I deem the upper bound for my experimentation, 8 loops in a 7-day window. (This is inspired by the listening guidelines for 1-sub stacks and 2-sub stacks which max out at 8 loops, but the standard 3-sub stack guideline has 6 loops over a 7-day window).

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#109

Chapter 3.5

Awakening The Primal Man

What if you decide that you do not wish to leave your sexual and dating life up to external circumstances and what others dictate to you? What if you decide, that since it is your life, you should have control over it?

I have decided exactly what the above talks about. While I could write a bit more about Primal and why I’m doing it, there’s plenty I’ve written about that in the few posts above. Right now, there’s one thing left to do. Let’s hop into this.

I’m listening to Primal as we speak, for the full duration. Primal, then ME. I will go to sleep not long afterward.

2 Likes
The One Custom Goal: Get The Best People. How?
#110

Listening for today:

  • Primal
  • ME

I want to journal daily again. Just like I was doing last year when I ran DR and then the other subs. I remember—it takes only a few days to see the benefits and appreciate it. I imagine it won’t take long for me to hop back on the train, assuming that I make it in the first few days. Journals don’t have to be long, detailed or heavily analytical for every entry. Keeping up the momentum and having the mind’s eye on the goal is the key thing.

Anyway, I listened early in the morning before I went to bed, then woke up and went through my day. For a Friday, I was very productive while working from home. I got in my element and accomplished quite a bit. Though of course, for work there’s still more I need to do that’s in addition to the kind of work I’m already good at. I’m hoping that Chosen continues to help me there; I also realize that by being so productive today I have additional time to handle my weaker spots. Having run Primal before bed I had wondered if it was going to interfere with my work productivity. Turns out it wasn’t an issue. Running before bed may have helped because sleep and dreaming helps process subs. I did have more vivid dreams on that night, though there isn’t much I can make of it (granted, a whole day has passed).

I also have felt in a way that’s more conducive to practice NF. I would like that to be the case moving forward. Have my sexual element be expressed in a healthier and more helpful way. Be really comfortable with that part of myself.

I’m curious to see how Primal synergizes with both ME and Chosen.

#111

Listening as I write this:

  • Primal
  • Chosen

Today was an interesting day as I continued to look for more places I could potentially be staying at with my friend when I move out. Funny thing is, though, in my adventure of checking out places myself I haven’t found a better option than one of the first ones I and my friend toured together. It’s a wonder how sometimes the first (or one among the first few ) picks is the seeming winner. Of course, things can change with availability and whatnot. Nonetheless—or rather, precisely because of that—I consider today’s explorations to be informative and helpful.

Besides the planning for things like the above, the afternoon was fun and games. Unfortunately, I got into a sort of car accident. Fingers crossed this gets resolved through insurance quickly. It’s nothing too crazy, but I need to get my car through the body shop… :frowning: That throws off some plans. Well, live and learn. I’m glad I earn enough money such that this isn’t an issue financially speaking.

Anyway, interestingly enough in my hang with friends today the topic of dating came up. I think this is the first time this particular group discussed the topic at length extensively. I had no conscious intention of discussing that myself, going into the hang. Did I manifest this from running Primal? That was quick. Anyway there’s a few takeaways from the conversation:

  • In a strict sense I haven’t taken as much action in dating relative to my peeps.
  • Despite that, we’re all still in the same boat. That’s not great for them, but what does it signal to me? How much action must I take, and how long will it take before I’m in an ideal relationship?

Before I can even answer those questions, my brain says hold on there buddy, not so fast. I’m running SC ZP subs which dramatically changes the equation for me.

  • I mean look, I ran just one loop of Primal and I already saw stuff occur in the outer world (including above hangout which featured said conversation). There’s still more to come. I have been doing NF since the start of Primal and I want to continue that. Let the entire sexual self transform, and give myself permission to let the primal man come outside, not stay behind closed doors. These people talked all about apps but what about organic methods and approaching women in public? They just didn’t do that, and we all know how apps are rather flawed.
  • I guess Chosen does help attract romantic partners who would be on the same wavelength in some sense, but I’ve been running that title since the start of the year and haven’t seen notable results in that regard. That’s fine, since I run Chosen for the career aspect. Maybe it’s because I don’t really have a sexual base? (That’s why I’m running Primal)
  • ME is of course building that manifestation base to help me succeed. Manifest success in the domain being discussed. This is the secret weapon that’d get me places in life a lot faster, given the correct guidance. To be honest, I occasionally did write down stuff related to success in the domain being discussed but it irks me that most of them have yet to manifest. Notice that I say yet—I’m not going to rule them out as “they’re not going to manifest.” But the fact that they still haven’t yet while a good deal of stuff in other domains has says that I need to take a special approach and work on this in a more targeted way.
  • It’s especially because of the need to target this domain specifically that I am going to build and a custom that’s purely focused on manifesting social/romantic relationships. Yea, it’s not going to have a hard alpha tile in it, because it’s not advised to put Khan ST4 in a custom. I can just run Khan ST4 in a stack. And besides, it may be helpful to have the custom be based around the goal that I should focus on (ideal relationship), rather than the method I think I need to achieve it (becoming a highly alpha individual). That’s something I can say only because of the nature of manifestation, at least based on what I’ve heard from Goddard. When I spot a method I think is going to help or work, I’ll go with it. But with the custom focused on manifestation perhaps it becomes more long-lasting and also allows my stack to be more flexible.
3 Likes
#112

Building up my confidence in this regards through getting back into Neville Goddard stuff.

Listened to:

  • Primal
  • ME

Let’s see what my dreams show.

#113

Yea, my dreams show I’ve got work to do. There was a scene in there where I was feeling down about stuff related to Primal. Saw the success someone I was familiar with had (in this alternate scenario, anyway—no clue what he’s up to in real life) and started walking away sadly. Some people, including my friends, noticed me as I walked away with a certain look ad one simply said, “Don’t mind him, don’t mind him.”

Primal is working on deep stuff.

#114

Sorry it’s taken me this long to get to your more recent posts in which you tagged me. Did you get the input you wanted or needed to help you make a decision?

1 Like
#115

Yea, although I would appreciate your input in the other thread where I’m discussing a custom build idea.

#116

Running NOW:

  • Primal
  • Chosen

Lately I’ve consistently been excited to run these titles and see what unfolds next. I’ve also been looking into Neville Goddard a lot more.

#117

Just ran:

  • Primal
  • Mind’s Eye

Yep, I’m getting back into full force of referring to Neville Goddard stuff, specifically from a couple of YouTube channels that I only discovered recently. I’m using them in addition to Alai’s channel, since Alai doesn’t post frequently nowadays. I’ve been particularly interested in how I can use manifestation to manifest the stuff I’m working towards with Primal and the subs to follow (stuff being ideal relationship, great life in that regards, etc). Unexpectedly, I’ve ended up watching a lot of videos that explains the principles of Goddard techniques and what makes manifestation work as opposed to videos which talk about “How to Manifest X.” These videos have been very enlightening and as a result I have written many manifestations which refer to improving the process of manifesting itself. I expect to improve upon my own manifesting ability even more. I wonder if Mind’s Eye brought me to these.

These manifestations which focus on manifesting better are part of that thread I started at the beginning of this year, which is the thread that says manifestation is the skill I must develop more fully in order to succeed in the things I am dealing with now. I am optimistic that endeavor will be successful.

With regards to what’s happening with Primal specifically, I have a few things to note:

  • Helping me do NF more easily
  • Some more times recently where I wondered if I should just go up to some women and talk to them. I recall, I had that twice today when I was at the mall shopping.
  • Rising confidence within about my success in the domain. Like a sense of “everything is going to be alright. Not to worry!”
#118

Listened earlier today:

  • Primal
  • Chosen

I did 15 minutes each, but I think I’m going to try 7 minutes per each main sub once again. I’m just feeling that.

I came here to journal originally because I was feeling down about some stuff in my life. Despite this day being so eventful, fun and social there were some parts of my life that were really wearing me down. Of particular note is The Second Domain that I talked about in that post. Yes, it has to do with the stuff which motivated me to run Primal and how stuff in the related department isn’t so well developed.

But before getting to this journal, YouTube autoplay (in effect after I did Brad Yate’s EFT session on feeling stuck) led me to this: 100% Pure Schumann Resonance for Grounding, Stability, & Well-Being 🙏 - YouTube. My God, the comments here are so positive :smiley: ! And somehow so many of the commenters got here by accident, by autoplay, and by coincidence. Was I destined to get here myself? For within a few minutes of listening to this audio I experienced a change in myself, a lightening of the feeling I had been carrying within in the last few hours before the sound. Somehow, this Schumann Resonance video is helping me feel better. I don’t know why, but I feel better than I did prior. I’m still listening to it as I write. I definitely feel better, and I’m willing to step back at my situation and see that it’s not so bad (earlier it felt as if it were the worst thing in the world)! “I feel depressed” was a statement I was beginning to identify with before the video, but now not so much…that’s something.

Well, I was basically going to write about how I’m so old yet I’m still not in a good relationship. And I’m just moving out of my parents’ place this year, and it’s not even that far away.

  • Looking at the so old part, it’s interesting because when I look at some other members here on SC I recognize even some of the prominent ones are a quite bit older than me yet aren’t in the state that I’d like to be in. Right now I’m optimistically taking this as I’ve got time, I’m not so old. Still, it’s frustrating. I hear about this college-age guy who’s dealing with multiple girls and I’m like “Props to him…” (that’s not really the lifestyle I want though, I’d like a single good long-term relationship but I think it reflects an ability to attract). And stuff like societal standards & cultural expectations doesn’t really help. Nor is it that comforting that there’s an increasing number of people who are in the same boat…though I guess I could say that I’m not alone. I had these thoughts floating in my head saying stuff like “I should have started much sooner” and “Pandemic messed things up.” Funny thing is, I know I intentionally took a different path during the pandemic (basically deprioritized most social stuff during most of the pandemic) to do other things.
  • It’s funny—in the last few days I increasingly took on the position that I needed to make that decision to move out, that it’s truly what’s best. At least here I am taking significant action and it’s going to happen. But then after talking with these people who are just graduating or recently graduated college and are moving out to other parts of the country I felt, “Why didn’t I do this sooner? Why so late? Why not that far?” Truth be told, the reason the move isn’t to somewhere that far is because of the practicalities surrounding where I work (& the surrounding industry) as well as familiarity. For example, people ask me if I’ve considered moving to famous city X since I’ve lived in the general area nearly my entire life…but see, I’ve not even visited city X so I don’t think that’s wise. I’d rather take a moderately long vacation there instead.

The weight of these thoughts is blessed by the ongoing Schumann resonance which is nice. That said I do want to come back and continue journaling, take a more written account of where things are at. Could be a private entry. As a friend suggested, perhaps I’m discounting what I have accomplished—especially in the past few years—and overly fixating on what I don’t have right now. That is likely the case. I of course continue to appreciate input from readers and fellow members here, too. I’d rather spend time on the solution but I do understand that I need to work through these feelings as well. Perhaps I’m getting ZP-style healing (from Primal?). Perhaps it’s a sign that yes, I’m going to need the healing present in Heartsong which will be featured in my custom. I want to be pulled out of these feelings, though. At least that work has started.

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