This is my first Custom journal, the start of a grand adventure!
For this, I will be using a WDB name embed, a LB+Regen custom, and Khan, as detailed below.
Though I only have the Tales of the Dream Boy for now (well, not right now, but it should arrive in the coming week, hopefully before Thursday since I ordered last Monday),
but I intent on buying the Thermae of Love by the start of March after two cycles, since Saint said we should have the Experimental Adaptive Scripting Module by then.
I would also like to thanks Layman for helping me stay locked in with Thermae of Love (also a LB + Regen custom), through his post, I identified a lot with his message and he’s extremely right in that.
I want to progress at work, but I need to regulate myself first, and through that I’ll be able to reach everything more easily and faster.
Tale of the Dream Boy ZPQ
Romance! Presence! Wit!
To know how to be and how to talk,
To tell stories and joke,
To be myself, simply.
Naked, with naught but my body and my words.
Authentic.
That is what I desire, presence and wit.
To find what at the depth of my core and pull it to the surface unashamedly.
I will run that name embed,
of Wanted Dream Boy and Synergy:Tale of the Dragon.
My goals with it are as such:
- Become a great speaker
- Be able to clearly communicate what I mean to
- Develop into a magnetic friendly presence
- Develop my charisma
- Be reassured that I am enough, that people can love me
- completely annihilate all thoughts of not being enough
- annihilate all fear of abandonement
- become authentic
- become even more of a great lover
- be more funny
- find what to say more easily, both professionally and in personal life
- improve how I present myself in the world
- improve my style
- burn away all fears and limitations regarding to being social
- become someone who can help others fully, without being encumbered by fears of lack
- Accept myself fully
- Gain the faith necessary to surrender, to do what need doing with no lust for results.
- To look outside how I look inside.
- To f*ck more
- To eventually no longer depend on s*x and become able to enjoy even without and even if denied.
- Tto be surrounded by people who like me for who I am.
- To feel safe and protected.
- To feel accepted.
- To feel loved.
Thermae of Love
The ultimate healing custom, love, care, smoothness.
The soft power to dissolve all that is not me,
The vision necessary to pull out the roots of the structures of fear
And the wisdom to keep what ought to be kept,
To build structures of love over the rumbles of what was.
To heal all that need to.
Lack of feeling loved.
Fear of abandonment.
The hauntings of the demons of the past,
Coming there and again to torment me,
Shall no longer be.
For they shall drown, in the depth of the Thermae of Love.
Modules used:
My goals with it are as such:
- Know myself
- Grow beyond my fear of rejection
- Heal sexual trauma
- Dare to go toward the type of person I like
- Dare to reject the type of person I don’t love
- Love the world and people even more
- Love myself more
- Have undying love for myself and the world in general.
- Be able to see my emotions and accept them
- Be able to hear myself more
- Be able to hear other more, what they mean beyond words.
- Heal any and all trauma really.
- Forgive and forget more
- Be able to take care of myself more
- Love life
- To love doing things for myself
- To love serving others, when it’s not to my own detriment.
- To be a more caring person
- To be a more attentive person
- To be a more loving person
- To be a more relaxed person
- To be a more confident person
- To be able to put on boundaries
- To embrace my life and all that happened throughout as a gift
- To dare to live really, beyond any false walls and illusionary limits.
Khan
Power! Glory!
The wish of many people, but only few possess the will to aquire it, and the wisdom to wield it without destroying themselves.
Power, much like Wealth, its cristalized form, are multipliers and amplifiers.
They take what’s already here, and make it grow more and more.
Revealing it.
My goal with that title is ,above anything else, to reveal myself. to strip myself bare of all useless bagage and amplify the good at the depth of my core.
To be able to do what needs doing, when it needs doing, shamelessly.
To dare to be, and dare to be seen for who I am in my entirety.
To accept the whole of myself, knowing that it is me beyond all doubt.
All programming and external bagage, having been burnt, the residues infinitely small compared to the expanded self.Compared to the assumed Self.
It is good to be ambitious, and I am. But ambition cannot be seized with frail arms and legs. we wouldn’t be able to carry it. so reinforcing myself is vital. and Khan seems like it’d be an excellent coach and driver toward Absolute Sovereignty, Absolute Acceptance, Absolute Domination over my own Self and circumstances.
and through knowing myself, loving myself, accepting myself, be free of all that is not good for me.
have the perfect soil to develop the most magnificient and grandiose of all gardens.
My own.
Please mind, I don’t intent on being an angry khan, controlling and domineering, forcing themselves on others. Anger is useless raw, too explosive, it is better used as fuel to drive change, transmuted into Willpower and Desire. Desire to Control others come from Fear and is something that’s very useless, since we cannot control anything that is not ourselves. it is better to use that energy and strength toward building the Self to better handle the circumstances, such that Fear itself become ridiculous, and is revealed to be the illusionary limit it has always been, obstructing the path between where we are and where we want to be.
And so, I will run Khan and become a magnanimous friendly ruler over myself.
Expand into who I am beyond all illusionary limits.
How will they act together? What’s the big idea?
Well, from my perspective, regarding my goal, they seem highly synergetic.
They seem like they’ll be able to all participate in bringing me to my ultimate goal, while making the journey as pleasant as it can be while being just destabilizing enough that I don’t get stuck in habit and keep a momentum of change going.
My ultimate goal for myself with that given stack being to feel accepted, to feel loved, the elimination of all fears, trauma, and imaginary limitations to being loved and being loving, and to being and expressing myself. and to be able to do so in a way that properly convey what I mean and what I need, in a way that is accurate and in line with who I am beyond all conditioning. To reveal to myself and the world, and dare to step forward shamelessly.
#ThePlan
I will start with Tale of the Dream Boy, RotNW, and Khan ST1 (which I already ran in the past for a cycle, being able to take up to 3mn max of its girthy self.) this stack will last two cycles, running the titles on Mondays and Thursdays, from 02/02 to the 16/02, and from 23/02 to 09/03.
My vacations will be from 23/02 to 10/03 so it might be really fun and interesting hehehe 
Even more so with a colleague that plan on inviting me to his place next week-end or the week-end after so I can meet his family, including his daughter 
though she’s 18 so she might be too young with me being 32. meh doesn’t matter, I’ll help her overcome her depression and give her advice in any case, she’s autistic like me so I can help her overcome the struggle of socialisation, and get her to open herself more to the world, hopefully.
aaanyway, RotNW and Khan ST1 on Mondays, Tale of the Dream Boy ZPQ on Thursday, both starting at 30s. I would have loved to do the opposite so Khan + RotNW would be more prominent on the week ends, but I haven’t received the name embed yet. Well, I’ll see how that goes, it should be really fun in any case 
and then starting on the 16/03 I’ll replace RotNW by the Thermae of Love custom and continue onward for a year 
