Forgot to mention Iām also running ASC, 3 mins
ātakes a deep breath.ā (Pt 1)
A lot happened this weekend. Iām still trying to process everythingā¦
But first, I have a confession. Forgive me sc, fore I have sinned. Out of pure curiosity, I decided to play a small loop of Libertine zp. I had played Stark that morning (7 mins), ASC the previous day (3 mins) and Sanguine and Elixir on Thursday (7 mins each)
So because of this, I decided to play 1min and 30 seconds of Libertineā¦
So Friday night went out to a Latin bar with my friend, his girl (weāll call her Victoria) and a few other people. Now I am a decent dancer. Not amazing, but certainly not bad. Now, if you know anything about Bachata, Cumbia, Reggaeton etc., it takes some skill and practice. So we get there, and Iām watching these people dance, and Iām thinking to myself, āhow tf am I going to pull this offā¦ the man always leads; I have no idea what Iām doing. Everyone around here is like a professional 
Then one of Victoriaās friends asks me to dance, I tell her I have no clue what Iām doing, and she says thatās ok, Iāll teach you. I get the 1ā¦2ā¦ step actions going; she starts teaching me all these spins; I got itā¦ Sort ofš
. But what struck me was her gaze,
She was giving me āthe look.ā You know what Iām talking about, like when a fat kid sees cake. Electric eyes.
Then I start dancing with Victoria, and the SAME THING HAPPENS. I know Iām not crazy (well, maybe just a little bit), but I know that look when I see it. That look of pure lust and fascination. Anyways, both girls complimented me on my dancing. They said they were impressed. I was really good for a beginner.
Then Victoria tells me she made a friend and asks if she wants to introduce her to me, I say yes. In my head, I was lowkey nervous asf, but then she came up to me and seemed angry. Victoria introduces us, and I ask if sheās a good teacher. She says no, I donāt know how to lead; Iām trying to sit down and talk to my friends, sorryā. Then she walks over to her friends.
And whatās strange isā¦ I didnāt care. I hate rejection, but it didnāt faze me at all. 
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Pt 2
I decide to get a round of drinks for my friend and I. Weāre talking and just watching everyone dance. And I noticed a girl dancing with a friend of ours. She kept staring at me while she was dancingā¦ like when she got twisted around, she would look up at me for a few milliseconds and turn back.
Then I saw a girl I had danced with a few months back, and she had that deer in headlight look on her face. Do you know that typical jaw-dropping surprised look? Yeah, that minus the jaw-dropping.
Then that girl who was dancing with that guy gave me a similar look, and for a short time we were there, I was getting all these stares. And whatās strange is, I wasnāt shocked by it. In my head, I was thinking, āyeah, of course, they think Iām hot.ā
We decided the leave the bar and go to a normal club. My brother was there with some friends. (My brother is drunk out of his mind.) So he ran off somewhere. Meanwhile, this other random guy grabs me and says letās find girls. We walk across the dance floor, up behind the DJ booth. While making our way to the other side, the bottle girls start walking towards us with the typical bottle in the air bouncing up and down. And I just immediately started playfully mocking them. As I walked past the first girl, she laughed and did this little squint thing, like there was an element of not only surprise but attraction; thatās the only way I can describe it. Also, right after this happened, I realized I knew this girl. Sheās a friend of one of my exes. Whatās odd is that I also saw her at my gym last week.
Then the next day, I went clubbing againāin the same place. My bro was already there, so I waited in line by myself for a solid half-hour. I just observed all the life around me. And I noticed a lot. But what I noticed most was the āshot callers.ā Every time I saw a group of men, I immediately looked for the group leader and analyzed him. Maybe Iām subconsciously seeking this, to be that ātop shottaā. 
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Pt 3
Anyways I got into the club, and my demeanour changed immediately. Itās like my Wanted (and libertine) aura got activated on sight. My gaze and body language changed, I became very calm, and I was slow and smooth with my walk, almost like I was floating through the air. I felt like I was radiating raw sexuality. I was the hottest man in the club, and though it was only my second time there, I felt like I owned the place.
As I scan the room looking for my brother, I see him at a table behind the DJ booth. As Iām making my way there, I see another girl I know; she didnāt see me so I proceeded. I then see a familiar face. I ask him ādo I know you?ā At first he seemed pre occupied, almost like he thought I was some random drunk dude. Then I remind him of the party we were at and heās like āohh youāre the hot guy from that party! Yo, Emma look who it is!ā The girl screams and says āOMGG YOUāRE SOO FUCKING CUTE HOW ARE YOUUU!ā I hug her then walk up to the bar. As Iām waiting for my drink, I see that same girl who I made fun of last night alongside another girl. This girl is also friends with my ex and get this, the older sister of a girl i made out with at that Christmas party:
Summary
Immediately I got slightly nervous, and started thinking āF*cking ASC, youāre really testing me huh?ā I grab a shot of vodka and a double rum and Coke. Down the vodka and make my way towards the table. I say whatās up to my brother and his friends. Next thing you know, the girls vanished. Felt like a video game, I confronted a small āfearā and it vanishedā¦literally.
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Pt 4
A little later in the night. I was standing near the DJ booth, and out of nowhere I subconsciously turn around and and that bottle girl I made fun of, the one from the gym? She was all by herself staring right at me. With that deer in headlight look, gaze was that of pure lust and fascination. She held eye contact too. My gaze felt electric, or Mesmerizing, thatās the word Iām looking for. Itās like I was sending her heatwaves of sexiness though my eyes, my eyes literally feel like a super power. I feel like I could start a fire with the power of my gaze. Itās such a strange feeling but Iām in love with it.
Iām mad at myself now though, cause I broke eye contact before her. But I did it in a super nonchalant way. Even when we locked eyes, I didnāt smile, I didnāt nod, I didnāt even flinch, so that gaze likely came across like I wasnāt impressed by her. Which is a lie, sheās hot asf, so sheās probably not used to that. And Iām not used to that, being the qualifier?
I thought about approaching her but I knew she was there with someone. But now that I think about it, who cares? Whatās the worst thing sheās gonna say? Sorry I have a boyfriend? Lol okay, whatās the big deal?
After the club, we walked over to a vending machine pizza place, and chilled there. I gave a homeless guy 5 bucks, some girl started talking to me about a bunch of random stuff including my job and shit. She told me her husband is in the same kind of work and that she would send me details about what her husband does and how I could get into it. She added me on IG. She also mentioned she was in a open relationship, but sheās like 15 years older than me soā¦
Then we got picked up from the club, there were two chicks in the car, we had way too many people in the car so one of the girls sat on me and cuddled around me. We never really talked, but I was grabbing her @$$ and stuff.
And thatās THE END.
No pulls, but it was certainly an āeventfulā
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Past two weeks have been weird. Iāve been a little lightheaded. And it seems almost constant. Even when Iām working out, Iāve noticed i get a little dizzy.
Iām wondering if itās ASC? I heard a few other member mention something similar. Who knows, maybe it has nothing to do with subs. But Iāve also felt a strange shift in my reality. Things just seem off. My life sort of feels like a dream, itās real but it doesnāt feel real, does that make sense? Maybe my subconscious is adjusting to my new reality?
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Also Iāve noticed something about Wanted. Even though Iām conventionally attractive, I always felt a strange disconnect between my body and soul. I used to look in the mirror and question who is this person Iām looking at? And the longer Iād stare at myself the stranger it felt. I always hated how I looked.
Now I love how I look, I know Iām attractive and my body language reflects that now. Wanted has erased a huge insecurity of mine.
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I think Starkās really pushing me to fix my procrastination issues. Iāve never been so lazy in my life itās nuts. I literally give zero Fās about anything right now. People have been bringing it up, and I barely say anything. I donāt have a reply. āWe were supposed to leave 10 mins agoā. And Iām just like okā¦ who cares?
I should care, I told them Iād be ready; but for some reason I donāt care at all.
My rooms a mess once again, Iām sleeping in everydayā¦
I gotta get my sh!t together
Also weird observation, I had a dream last night that a ladybug kept biting me, and I was paralyzed. Completely helpless.
Then this morning i went to use the washroom and their was a dead lady bug in the urinalā¦
Symbolism?
Theirs been a lot of weird coincidences like happening lately. My dreams have also been very vivid intense. Itās like the Matrix is glitching so to speak.
What do you feel is making you lazy or do you feel itās the sub making you lazy?
I think itās the sub, but itās the recon specifically. I think my mind is trying itās best to resist this change because itās so deeply ingrained in me. Iāve been a procrastinator for my whole life. And only now am I beginning to see how terrible an impact itās had on many areas of my life.
Itās hard to let go of a habit that is so deeply ingrained in your core being. Even if negative, because losing it feels like losing a part of yourself.
Would you say itās Wanted or Stark making you procrastinate more?
I think itās Stark, but Wantedās nonchalance certainly isnāt helping
I think itās more so Wanted. The thing with Stark is it makes you work smarter not harder which @Invictus perfectly mentioned:)
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I had another dream like this, I dreamt that I stained my white tee shirt and magically some baking soda fell onto the stain and completely washed it away.
Then I get up this morning, open up my fridgeā¦ first thing I see is baking soda LOL
Here @Matalexander305, to get you out of the fog and into life.
A few months ago you finally started living a life that pleased you. In each of us resides a beautiful, magnificent, noble person but it needs to be awakened and brought into the light. You can be this person but you have to give Zero Point time to unfold.
Zero Point gets you to embody a program from the first loop onward, if we look back it is sometimes hard to accept our new life. But if we give ourselves time, and move in the same direction, eventually, we feel grounded and set as this new person we have become. If you go too fast, you will get stressed which is normal.
the race gets won by the patient, which is a mighty quality possessed by all masters of life.
If you start a new program, momentum needs to build, otherwise, you will get extreme anguish and paralyzed.
I suggest drinking Zero Point as an elixir, drink a few minutes and let it process, integrate, and executeā¦ give it a few days and see how your life shifts, then take some more of this magical elixir and again let it adjust. Over TIME, you will ground yourself in this new life and you may be able to drink the entire loop without stress or reconciliation.
It happened to you on Primal Seduction, lived a beautiful life, started enjoying the company of that attractive woman, and then you were led astrayā¦
You need to give yourself room to let the internal changes unfold, and manifest externally. Iām confident you can do this! 
In one month you can be a new person, a changed man.
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Beautifully put, thank you for those kind words 
This was very eye opening.
Iām buying a car this weekend, no more procrastinating.
(speaking it into existence)
Iām starting to get annoyed with my lack of sociability . Iām always stressed, to the point where I sometimes stutter. I think way to hard about what to say in the smallest conversations, Iām super self conscious, When I go out I rely on alcohol a bit too much just to get out of my own head.
This is stupid, I shouldnāt have to live this way. Iām starting to be convinced that Iām actually an extrovert with social anxiety, and that makes me feel introverted. I think thatās why I always keep to myself so much. People who know me think Iām quiet but once Iām comfortable around them I become extroverted. Problem is, Iām not comfortable around everyoneā¦
Iām thinking after this Stark run, Iāll finally make that Stark & Daredevil custom. I may even swap one of these for PS core. Getting comfortable talking to girls is also high on the priority list, and seeing as Iām going to be clubbing a lot more oftenā¦ Iām going to need to work on my social/seduction skills.
The stack will look something like this:
Stark/Daredevil or PS custom
Wanted
Elixir
Sanguine is great and I want to keep it, but I need to get comfortable getting myself out there and I donāt know if Wanted alone is enough.
When I do decide on my stack. Iām sticking to it. For a good amount of time. Iām getting tired of switching up stacks and getting mediocre results.
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If I was you I would go with a Stark core + Physical/Seduction modules to amplifiy Stark effects. Like this you might not need Wanted and it might be easier to run and get results as well (Speaking from experience on my custom). Not sure about this part thought, maybe add Libertine with your stack so custom + Libertine but I havenāt tested that out yet but I will test it out next week when Iām going clubbing:)
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