PizzaShaman’s journal - Ongoing

Some thoughts tonight about ceasing smoking completely!

Doesn’t seem daunting or frightening this time. Interesting.

An interesting day. I definitely felt AsC weekly goal #1 in full effect today. My subc was very busy. It was different then in previous weeks. I always ask AsC for a boost in subliminal processing because why not? Yesterday I was more intentional with that request’s wording and the difference was huge.

Tomorrow, I will see how I feel after 5 minutes of InnerWork. I may listen to 90 seconds of another, or start a break til next Monday. :thinking:

Wife worked out today on the rower. I’m glad, because she has wanted to do something for a hot minute but couldn’t justify a gym membership with her church volunteer season starting. So, the rower works for her too. Her stack is Genesis, Spartan, and Symmetry.

I intend to row before work tomorrow. Yeah dude.

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9/13 Morning Time!

Rowing won’t be happening before work. Fed the demon instead and welcomed the monthly visitor’s arrival upon completion. Oh well. I will say that I am acutely aware of muh energy loss. On the other hand, no smoking this morning, so that’s a plus.

Time for InnerWork.

5 min. No mas!

And on listening break until Monday 9/18. I think I will be continuing with Pathfinder for another few weeks.

Hmmm. Odd how thinks work. Malkuth did some of my research for me years ago.

Thank you sir!

Time to go bang out 20 minutes on the rower as I do not like setting an intention and not following through.

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There is so much more in that category now. Like 3x more. :grinning_face_with_smiling_eyes:

Abundance.

These days, all I need are Revelation of Mind and Revelation of Spirit. Those two seem to cover just about everything I was looking for back then.

It was kind of hilarious because, through the customs I built, I was creating my own improvised versions of those programs. Sort of like Gilligan’s Island tech. (To use a very old reference.)

They were marooned on the proverbial desert island and the show–comedically–had them using bamboo and coconuts to do their best to approximate all of the modern conveniences that they’d lost by being there.

Here’s a Gilligan’s Island car:

image

Well, my customs were not quite at that level, but during this past summer, I finally had to admit that it was time to retire my beloved customs and use the much better programs that had been invented after I designed my customs.

I love seeing how Saint and Fire keep innovating and developing new levels and directions of functional application. It’s one of my favorite things about being here.

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And done!

Good luck today SubClub!

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I’m seasoned enough to get a Gilligan’s reference! :grinning:

You had the wisdom to use bamboo and coconuts at least.
I tried much the same with my first custom, looking to approximate Khan Black. Looking back I was playing with dirt and rocks.

I’m thankful it appeared when it did. I had about given up on mastery.

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9/14 Morning Time!

InnerWork did some work yesterday. My goodness. It was a good day, with the highlight being: I actually reached out to an old friend to see how he was doing, and we had some back and forth before being able to text chat last night.
Normally I would have had the thought, but not reached out. All that shit works both ways, and if someone wanted to talk to me they would message, call, etc. Otherwise why bother getting rebuffed? I’m glad I followed through with the thought yesterday. We made plans to hang out in person this coming Monday; it’s been over a year since the last real hangout.

Don’t know what it is quite yet, other than another sign on the path, but it’s something:

If I can recall what I’ve read of Damo’s work correctly, dao yin operates like this. Drawing and moving the energy around vs moving the energy within. I’ll have to pull my books out and find out for certain. Malkuth’s description here struck me as the same as some of the WoT text. Moiraine feeling tired after all the channeling in Emond’s Field, in the first book, for example. HMMMMmmmmm. What do you think Lion? :smiley:

Name embedded KBC4 hits different, for real. I’ve been getting the ‘energy headache’ pretty constant at 2 days out from release. It’s not overexposure, because if I put my tongue to my upper palette and work on moving my energy, the headache moves and changes. Yesterday I released, and now I have the energy headache again. 24 hours this time. Interesting.

Did some thinking on my support ticket answer from Fire regarding ME, RoM, manifestation and visualization. I think that ME’s manifestation scripting could synergize well with the subc scripting in RoM. I got the feeling that Neville style practice could be real good with this combo.

I wish I had some sort of visual sub organizer. Even though I don’t game near as much, I sometimes think of my sub stack as equipped items. My own little “life is a simulation” theory. I played a LOT of WoW. It would be nifty to have some sort of sheet or page with ‘stack’ boxes that you could drag subliminal icons into to “equip” (hehe) and get a brief sub summary when you mouse over it. Your inventory, in part, is your sub collection! Colored sub boxes for rarity…customs are legendary and unique, and I feel the store titles here at SubClub are epic. Maybe Genesis would be a rare as it’s geared for beginners. :slight_smile: But nothing less than rare quality here at SubClub!

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Same brother!

And same! Lemme get that real quick…

damn. makes me want to drop my WB/BDLM custom!
Or roll it into one when the core is released.

“Wanted: A BD Hero”

:rofl:

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Very interesfing. As opposed to the Dragon Reborn channeling at the Last Battle after cleaning Saidin from the taint. If I remember right, it didn’t feel draining at all like before. But energising. Maybe cause he finally somehow touched with the Creator’s One Power or His version of the True Power.

Could make a lot of parallels to those energy systems.

Been a long time since I read the wheel of time books. Found some audio books on youtube recently that have excellent narration and voice acting.

I like this idea. Not gotten into World of Warcraft but the Real Time Strategy of Warcraft I, II and III were my jam. Along with Starcraft I and II. And Diablo II.

Now Diablo II Role Playing Game elements could surely be used to make customs. Hmm.

:pray:

Lol! Big D Energy HERO WANTED.

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9/15 Morning Time!

Rest day #2

Got that new hotness in my email!

HERO Origins: Sage and the Blade.

Figures that just when I get my stack figured out, and I feel pretty good about it, Saint and Fire drop something that upsets my apple cart. Malkuth said it the other day: Abundance!

Time to report some results.

So my wife’s stack is Genesis, Spartan, and Symmetry. I purchased a rowing machine for home last Saturday, as I’m into that. My wife has gotten 4 workouts in on it, pushing herself for a longer duration each time. She’s feeling pretty good about herself with that; it’s earned. One of the things about my wife is that she will lawyer game with results, even as I’m point stuff out to her that wasn’t happening before. I’m making a note here because of last night. She was talking about another instance this week where she displayed great confidence with herself and with speaking with people, things that are a little unusual for her. (Pssst. It’s ok honey, I know why its happening.) I asked her about her self talk, her inner monologue. How’s it doing? Do you berate yourself for little mistakes anymore or do you just roll with it and continue on without dipping into self negativity? Her eyes lit up as she started agreeing with me that her inner talk has vastly improved. Thanks Genesis!
On a side note, having your wife run Symmetry, which I learned has an attraction aura, makes retention difficult. #interesting problem

On my end: Interesting interaction at work yesterday. Retaining reliable employees in the dishroom has been challenging at work lately, although Not My Problem. However, it is my department director’s problem, and yesterday he came by with a load of clean dishes, putting them away in various spots in our facility. He came by my spot and put away some ‘pizza plates’ and I thanked him, asked how he was doing today? He gruffly stated, “None of your business.” but I could tell he was smirking a bit, being sarcastic. He couldn’t see that I saw that. :slight_smile: He then stopped his cart. “I suppose I shouldn’t reply to you like that, PizzaShaman, because out of everyone who asks me that, I think you are the only one that actually cares. I’m doing alright today. How are you?” :+1: Most unusual coming from this gentleman, but I’ll take it.

Got my mortgage bullshit sorted out this morning. Nothing huge, just a transfer between companies but that left me unable to pay it until I called in. Seems they sent out wrong loan numbers the first time around and I hadn’t received the updated letter yet. All fixed and paid now tho.

Some things arising with my son. He’s 14 and things are hard for him at school. Son is overweight, socially awkward and only a couple friends, none of whom share a lunch period with him. He sits by himself at lunchtime, and apparently gets made fun of. He has Ollier’s Disease, which has left his finger bones a bit misshapen. Enchondromatosis. It sets him apart from the other kids. I do understand the end result of that. I had a hard time in high school too with my bipolar shit, with very few friends and feeling alone with no one to talk to. I don’t know if I am the Dad he needs, or if I can be. I’m trying to have more time with him, but it’s challenging with my work schedule. ( I know about Lineage. For some reason I don’t want to run it.) I think I have to figure it out my own way.

I have shared with him my own experiences with that, and that I know the struggle. I told him how i’ve worked on stuff, and how SubClub has helped. He seems interested, but that time is still a few years out.

To close out today: I appreciate you guys, Lion and Malkuth, reading my journal and the back and forth on here. It has helped me with journaling/writing pretty much everyday and is an encouragement to do so. Thank you very much. :grinning_face_with_smiling_eyes:

I suppose it would be an interesting synergy with HERO’s swordplay scripting…

“Swordplay”

haha

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:joy: The Hero with the Big Sword lolol.

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Hmmm.

Is HERO Origins a Pathfinder manifestation for me?

Some serious thinking going on tonight.

It started with a reread of the description.

Struck a chord within right then. I had read the whole thing prior to purchase, but that jumped out at me tonight.

Transformation. It’s a choice, a chance, a branching point. A possibility. A timeline split. However you want to term it. For once, I recognize it prior. It’s always easy to see in hindsight, but rare at the time.

I feel (very strongly) it would not be appropriate to run any sort of sex scripting if one was running HERO. So, for me, it would be a stopping of my WB custom. I think InnerWork would synergize well with HERO. I think Alchemist would be good with it as well.

I can continue as is, and do fucking great. I’m enjoying life lately, overall. The option is to set aside fun stuff and focus on better things. :thinking: Is that a call I’m ready to answer? What contemplation because Saint hit publish yesterday!

I have a coworker I judge rather harshly because I feel he’s in the wrong line of work. Dude wants to direct, not lead. He should be doing some sort of consulting work, imo. I’ve told him as much. Ask a question, get an answer. But then he’ll mention of all the years spent at the current job, as though they would then be wasted or meaningless. 15 years at the same job in food service. Shrug. If you’ve been unhappy the whole time, find something else. Don’t waste time.
So for myself, I know that at my age I can still keep messing around pursuing sexual ends, trying to adjust myself to what…attract my wife more? I’m not interested in any extra marital relations. The fame aspect of WB, it’s fun, but I had it prior to running that one. It came about at work after I quit porn.
The speech aspect is a module, unless some sort of speech scripting is in HERO. Anyways.
I see this as the opportunity (FFS I’m using this word ALOT lately in daily life) to start a higher path. So interesting.

I could go on, but there’s not much point. The decision was made.

Interesting. I was going to reference a part of the Kolbrin, a document that resonates with me. YMMV.
In going to search for what I wanted, I first came upon this:

CRT:5:4 The circumstances, Enidvadew, of the traveller conform to the
law of sowing and reaping; he may travel in comfort or pain, happily or
sorrowfully, with strength or weakness, heavily burdened or lightly burdened,
well prepared or ill prepared. When the destination is set according to the
degrees of a former life, then the circumstances of the journey should
conform with the desire. For what use is it desiring a great destination when
the law of sowing and reaping decrees that an intolerable burden must be
carried on the way? Far better to have lesser aspirations. The decrees of fate
are many; the decrees of destiny are few.

How relevant. But what I was thinking of, aiming higher:

CRT:6:7 Dadam said, “These things I know too, for my eyes have always
been opened. I too have looked out into an endless plain without any horizon,
but I shall lead those who have grown strong through seeking and striving,
while those in your ranks will be weakened through indulgence in the
fleshpots and pleasure places of Earth. We are the disinherited, but not the
disowned; we have the seeds of victory within us. You and yours were never
more than you are, sons of the easy path, followers of the downhill road.”

So. The easy path, or the HERO’s path?

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9/16 Morning Time!

An interesting evening. Was that recon? lol. I don’t feel too differently this morning. Instead my mind has been filled with the possibilities of what I can create for a different path. I have enough information gathered already to be able to make good use of HERO.

Just tabbed over and read over the objectives again. My goodness. Such emotion stirred! One of the things I pay attention to in my life.

Likely help me be a better father to my son too.

A mastery subliminal appears the next day. :rofl:

Had a good talk with my son last night. He’s been weightlifting at school, and made some steady progress this week in finding his max bench press. Between that and rowing, he’s feeling good about finding that physical aptitude within himself. Doesn’t fix everything but a real good start. He was happy when I told him how I was telling my work friends about his bench press. It is true, I expressed fatherly pride to a couple coworkers. Yeah. InnerWork helping me out there with my son. Sick af custom!

Aiming for an hour on the rower this morning. I get an extra hour this morning before work, and I’m using it to exercise. Such change!

In some aspects at least. Some things remain the same.

5 min HERO :slight_smile:

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Initial impression:

Every bit of my body’s energy was humming during the listen. hmmm.

Time to row:

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Better then my Monday workout. Crazy good supportive self talk throughout that hour.

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Row row row your boat
With the strength of a Viking
Merrily merrily merrily merrily
Looking forward to some pillaging

Lol. That took a dark turn at the end but heck gotta roll and row with the stream of conciousness.

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:smiley:
Like I said, some crazy good supportive self talk during that workout.

It was interesting. I was zoning out a little bit, about 25 minutes in. Sometimes I like to imagine I’m rowing on water while I use the machine. This was such a time, but it was different. The water was dark and choppy, and the sky was filled with smoke and fire. A voice ran out, “ROW! ROW FOR RAGNORAK AND THE WORLD’S END!” Gave me a boost of energy then, and I rowed harder.

Every so often after that for the next 10 minutes, I would hear “ROW!” in my head, often to the beat of the music. Around 50 minutes: “HOW WE DOING? 10 MINUTES TO GO, WE GOT THIS!”

At 55 minutes, my daughters came in to see what I was doing. At first they were giggling at my appearance, (I presume, earbuds and Vicetone playing) but gave me a cheer before leaving.

I hit 12k as my wife came walking in from church worship practice, and my hour was done. She got to see the final result of my saying “I’m going to row for an hour.”

Work was rough. lol

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Now for character creation!

What kind of HERO do I want to be?

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9/17 Morning Time!

Feeling pretty good this morning.

Mind’s Eye! I have never run the store title, not one loop. I haven’t purchased it. I have been running it since March in one custom or another. So, 6 months. The fact I can conjure up mental imagery, craft a scene in my head now is significant to me, as it was not possible before. My auditory recollection is phenomenal. Yesterday at work, I recalled listening to a song as a teenager and played it in my mind, and gave myself goosebumps and shivers, in addition to remembering the Entire song. Thanks SubClub! Imma keep running it too. :smiley:

Woke up with the realization that I could probably pull off putting HERO in with my WB BDLM custom. I considered myself a virtuous man at my core, before I ever found SubClub. It would mix alright. My wife has been more affectionate as of late, and I attribute it to that lil custom. Would be a shame to drop that completely. Food for thought. Core’s not released yet. I would be listening to some dense stuff though, rolling that one in. Do I want to/Can I accept that much scripting? The wake up gut answer today was yes.
It occurs to me I can wait and see. I haven’t had a lot of plays of that WB custom. If it’s hitting that quick, within a couple weeks, it’ll disappear that quick too, I’d imagine. I suppose I can attribute some of her behavior to her own stack as well. She’s been listening to Genesis :slight_smile: almost regularly since release.

I dunno. Yesterday was reflective. I get fixated on things from time to time. Currently its these Subs! My pattern in life is that once something catches my interest, I dive deep to see what is possible, and then how to best integrate it into my life. It lasts varying lengths of time, at least 3-4 months. Some things stick around far longer. The possibilities in the Q store and the ever increasing selection of titles in the Main Store ensure that I’ll be here for a loooong while. Tbh, I’d pay 35 bucks to experience the trailer effect. Fun times have been had. The opportunity to craft a mind tool to help propel you to wherever you want to go? Amazing!

I’m getting excited again. So I was doing a little self review yesterday. I recalled my answer here:

Now at least one part would be a bit different. After 7 months, my longest running programs are Mind’s Eye, Revelation of Mind, and Khan Black. Inner talk is even more improved. Conversational skill is increased, thanks WB. I can set goals in AsC every Monday and it comes to pass with Mind’s Eye helping out. I’m losing weight and getting in shape, down 36 pounds since mid July.
Maybe more than one part.

I do feel like I’ve found a like minded community here, which is cool. Everyone working to improve themselves via this mental alchemy. Thankful for the house Saint and Fire built! :pray:

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Mid day update

Wife sent a flirty snapchat, noticing I had cut my hair (hair in the trash can) and asking if I was looking to get laid tonight.

Unusual behavior.
Lolol

WB+ Soul Connection + Reignition

Woooo!

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