Better then my Monday workout. Crazy good supportive self talk throughout that hour.
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Row row row your boat
With the strength of a Viking
Merrily merrily merrily merrily
Looking forward to some pillaging
Lol. That took a dark turn at the end but heck gotta roll and row with the stream of conciousness.
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Like I said, some crazy good supportive self talk during that workout.
It was interesting. I was zoning out a little bit, about 25 minutes in. Sometimes I like to imagine I’m rowing on water while I use the machine. This was such a time, but it was different. The water was dark and choppy, and the sky was filled with smoke and fire. A voice ran out, “ROW! ROW FOR RAGNORAK AND THE WORLD’S END!” Gave me a boost of energy then, and I rowed harder.
Every so often after that for the next 10 minutes, I would hear “ROW!” in my head, often to the beat of the music. Around 50 minutes: “HOW WE DOING? 10 MINUTES TO GO, WE GOT THIS!”
At 55 minutes, my daughters came in to see what I was doing. At first they were giggling at my appearance, (I presume, earbuds and Vicetone playing) but gave me a cheer before leaving.
I hit 12k as my wife came walking in from church worship practice, and my hour was done. She got to see the final result of my saying “I’m going to row for an hour.”
Work was rough. lol
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Now for character creation!
What kind of HERO do I want to be?
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9/17 Morning Time!
Feeling pretty good this morning.
Mind’s Eye! I have never run the store title, not one loop. I haven’t purchased it. I have been running it since March in one custom or another. So, 6 months. The fact I can conjure up mental imagery, craft a scene in my head now is significant to me, as it was not possible before. My auditory recollection is phenomenal. Yesterday at work, I recalled listening to a song as a teenager and played it in my mind, and gave myself goosebumps and shivers, in addition to remembering the Entire song. Thanks SubClub! Imma keep running it too.
Woke up with the realization that I could probably pull off putting HERO in with my WB BDLM custom. I considered myself a virtuous man at my core, before I ever found SubClub. It would mix alright. My wife has been more affectionate as of late, and I attribute it to that lil custom. Would be a shame to drop that completely. Food for thought. Core’s not released yet. I would be listening to some dense stuff though, rolling that one in. Do I want to/Can I accept that much scripting? The wake up gut answer today was yes.
It occurs to me I can wait and see. I haven’t had a lot of plays of that WB custom. If it’s hitting that quick, within a couple weeks, it’ll disappear that quick too, I’d imagine. I suppose I can attribute some of her behavior to her own stack as well. She’s been listening to Genesis 
almost regularly since release.
I dunno. Yesterday was reflective. I get fixated on things from time to time. Currently its these Subs! My pattern in life is that once something catches my interest, I dive deep to see what is possible, and then how to best integrate it into my life. It lasts varying lengths of time, at least 3-4 months. Some things stick around far longer. The possibilities in the Q store and the ever increasing selection of titles in the Main Store ensure that I’ll be here for a loooong while. Tbh, I’d pay 35 bucks to experience the trailer effect. Fun times have been had. The opportunity to craft a mind tool to help propel you to wherever you want to go? Amazing!
I’m getting excited again. So I was doing a little self review yesterday. I recalled my answer here:
Now at least one part would be a bit different. After 7 months, my longest running programs are Mind’s Eye, Revelation of Mind, and Khan Black. Inner talk is even more improved. Conversational skill is increased, thanks WB. I can set goals in AsC every Monday and it comes to pass with Mind’s Eye helping out. I’m losing weight and getting in shape, down 36 pounds since mid July.
Maybe more than one part.
I do feel like I’ve found a like minded community here, which is cool. Everyone working to improve themselves via this mental alchemy. Thankful for the house Saint and Fire built! 
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Mid day update
Wife sent a flirty snapchat, noticing I had cut my hair (hair in the trash can) and asking if I was looking to get laid tonight.
Unusual behavior.
Lolol
WB+ Soul Connection + Reignition
Woooo!
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Evening Time!
Finally done with the 6 day stretch. Off tomorrow, then 4 days of work, then my weekend.
Thinking about getting a chromebook to have in my basement for evenings. I usually come up with much material to write about down here, but I lose most of it getting to my PC. Having a lil cheap keyboard setup down here would enable more writing, a goal of mine.
You’d think I’d be running RM:UW. I’ll get there someday.
Addendum: I typed this up last night on my phone and left it as a draft. Just sat down to type at my PC and was wondering if I could transfer it somehow. The draft saved between devices! Weeeee
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9/18 Morning Time!
Might be afternoon time by the time I get done here.
Let’s see. After ruminating on the flirty stuff from my wife, asking if she wanted a ‘blue pill’ night and getting the affirmative response, I decided to be impulsive and give Marriage Enhancement a 90 second listen while in the stall for #2. It’s been a minute. Terminus.
Got some immediate recon for the rest of my shift at work, not quite 2 hours. I was considering not having sex at all actually, just going to bed and sleeping off a poor decision. But it passed by the time I got home, and I went ahead. I went with 25mg of Viagra this time, hoping that it would be fine considering this new found sensitivity. It was!
I had a revelation last night, during the after work smoke session. Looking over my collection of Human Design charts, I was again seeing the …overlay of my wife, brother in law, mother in law, and myself and how we don’t get along well. It is simply too easy for any sort of emotional wave to express as conflict.
Gate 6. I think it is considered Conflict in the I Ching. Always conflict between myself and those in laws. The revelation last night for myself was that while I’ve spent so much time seeking sex, looking for that passion (the connection of gate 59-gate 6) it’s not healthy per this chart. Suppose I get it during a transit, for example, I pay attention to what gate the Moon is in on a daily basis. Differing energy is supposed to be activated, and I see what happens. When the Moon goes through gate 59 every month for 11.4 hours, I know it’s a good time for sex. BUT what I’ve been missing is that every time I get that connection made, and that channel is temporarily activated, it will express through the gate energy that I possess inherently, which is solely gate 6. Conflict. The passion that I’ve been seeking my whole life will never satisfy in the right way, it will always bring me conflict.
Kind of a bummer. But good to know! Especially at this stage of the game. Makes the Wanted/Hero choice easier. Even more so after Invictus shared that message from Saint that they are indeed two separate paths.
Back to the booty.
Wife was vocal last night. Used words this time. Unusual. I attribute that to WB’s scripting.
Hmm. Well duh PizzaShaman. Could that be covered by King’s Radiance module since I’m putting WB aside? Possibly.
Today’s listening will be early evening, after I visit a friend. I feel pretty good right now for taking 1.5 minute of Terminus yesterday, but I don’t want to load up prior and not be able to converse.
Didn’t hit all my AsC goals this week, but also fed the demon much more often this week. Noted!
I found out that there is a global rowing marathon day in May or June. Might be something to train for.
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Mother in law was just here. Unusual behavior
Lol.
I came downstairs from using the bathroom, chilling on my day off, mesh shorts and an open zip up hoodie, no shirt. I hear MiL and wife in the kitchen. Great.
They come in the family room and she sees me and comes in to give me a hug before eyeing me up and down and commenting on my “rock hard body” and a couple more similar remarks.
I’ve lost weight, true, but I am light years from that description.
She talks with my wife a bit longer (she had brought us 2 veggie burrito entrees a friend of hers had made) and heads out, commenting that she’ll “leave us alone now because the children aren’t here winkwink”
Wife spent a couple minutes apologizing for her mother.
W:B strikes again!
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Exactly how did she apologized? 
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Ha! Just verbals. “I’m sorry my mother was touching you!” and things like that.
Action last night and this morning? This guy is spent.
I mean I could. But not the best use of my energy.
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Do I drop Wanted Black and BDLM for HERO?
The coins have been tossed…
The present is embodied in Hexagram 42 - I (Increase): There will be advantage in every movement which shall be undertaken, and it will even be advantageous to cross the great stream.
The third line, divided, shows increase given to its subject by means of what is evil, so that he shall be led to good, and be without blame. Let him be sincere and pursue the path of the Mean, so shall he secure the recognition of the ruler, like an officer who announces himself to his prince by the symbol of his rank.
The fourth line, divided, shows its subject pursuing the due course. His advice to his prince is followed. He can with advantage be relied on in such a movement as that of removing the capital.
In the sixth line, undivided, we see one to whose increase none will contribute, while many will seek to assail him. He observes no regular rule in the ordering of his heart. There will be evil.
The situation is shifting, and Yang (the active masculine force) is gaining ground.
The future is embodied in Hexagram 49 - Ko (Revolution): What takes place is believed in only after it has been accomplished. There will be great progress and success. Advantage will come from being firm and correct. In that case, occasion for repentance will disappear.
The things most apparent, those above and in front, are embodied by the upper trigram Sun (Wind), which is transforming into Tui (Lake). As part of this process, penetration and following are giving way to joy, pleasure, and attraction.
The things least apparent, those below and behind, are embodied by the lower trigram Chen (Thunder), which is transforming into Li (Fire). As part of this process, movement, initiative, and action are giving way to brightness and warmth.
Been visiting that site since high school. Used to use it for Tarot readings, but after reading Malkuth’s work, I decided to try out the I Ching reading. More to ruminate on!
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Nighttime.
Had a good visit with a friend today. Long overdue. Introduced him to SubClub.
Getting my listening in right before bedtime. Made my AsC list.
1.5 min ALCH1
3 min InnerWork
7 Min AsC
And done.
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Dont do it there will be to many heroes on the planet
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An interesting concept. Too many heroes?
As I sit here, I’m trying and failing to think of a hero that I know personally. My father in law has come in clutch a few times with household repairs and whatnot, but his explosive anger issues prevent me from giving that title. Past that? Maybe the doctor that operates on my son’s hands when it’s necessary. :snicker: He’s a master of his craft!
So I will run it, and become the hero that is missing from my world. How many people are part of SubClub? Some small percentage of the world’s population purchases products here. How many SubClubbers will run HERO? Not all of us. Maybe we should. If not all of us, well, anyone who chooses to is one more, and I think that’s a good thing.
You likely meant it in jest. I typed this up with a smile.
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9/19 Morning Time!
I feel good this morning. I’m a little surprised, to be honest. I make it a point to do my sub listening in the morning, as it is disruptive to my sleep to do it at bedtime. I was up fairly late last night and did my listening very late, but I slept fine. I feel things processing but it’s not too bad at all, considering I gave myself a shot of Terminus Sunday evening. Did my brain upgrade this past week? Ha! I kept the request regarding subliminal processing for AsC the same this week. We shall see!
ALCH1 and HERO tomorrow. I’ve decided to give Alch1 a bit more playtime through the end of the month and then move to Stage 2. Excited for that! I feel that Alchemist is doing something. Something good. October and beyond is going to be awesome. I’m looking forward to every single stage of Alchemist. I’m curious about the balancing aspect of Refinery, and how I’ll interpret that into my life. Balance has been sorely needed for a long time. I was talking about that (Balance) last night with my wife. I was thankful I made it through a day off without having a ‘cheat’ meal. I eat very healthily at work and intermittent fast work days, but counterbalance that with poor choice meals on my days off, usually. If eating a bad meal 1 day a week allows me to be focused and on point the other 6, that’s pretty good in my book, but I know even that one meal is a temporary backslide, and unnecessary. But that’s how I’ve worked. I can keep up the ascetics for a good while as long as I can have my pendulum swing to hedonism briefly every so often. It’s good to know my rhythm, and work with it, and I would like to be better still.
So, I’m looking forward to Refinery. I’m also looking forward to November and stage 3, Awakening. The amplification aspect impacting one’s subliminal manifestations! What will that enable me to do? I’ve already pulled off some obvious things via Mind’s Eye and Ascension Chamber. Khan Black Stage 4 is rolling in there too now, and there’s manifestation scripting in that guy as well. I get the feeling it’s (Awakening) going to…unlock something and be great.
I asked Ascension Chamber this week for clarity on a HERO custom and a QTKS custom. Why not right? I think it was last on my list. Interestingly enough, before I finished the loop, I had an offering from my subconscious.
KBC4
Mind’s Eye
Revelation of Mind
HERO Origins
Just roll what cores I got going on now with InnerWork and add HERO into a QTKS build. Not too shabby, brain. It’s not exactly what I wanted. I’m still hoping to create some masterpiece of module assembly that leaves the community in awe, a legendary work of stack and self enhancement. It’ll come to me eventually. I am thankful for the quickness of this answer however, and I think I will mess around with some theorycrafting around these 4 cores. Right off the bat I can see that this is good combo for SR, meditation and manifestation. I can be testing this out right now with the addition of HERO to my stack. Could be real good!
Yeah dude.
Good luck today, SubClub!
Edit: Dropping this here for later referencing:
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Hehe yo, there are never enough heros for sure 
the more the better
Take your path in becoming the legendary one 
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9/20 Morning Time!
Worked out on the rower last night. Tried some “sprints”, I suppose, of 500 meters. My lowest time was 108 seconds. Not too shabby, but I like the distance workouts better. Feels like I get more done. Perhaps this evening.
Today is a HERO play day. I noticed a few things from one play of 5 minutes the other day:
-
The footwork scripting flows through me easily. I have a work area that I’ve been in for 4 years now. I’m quite familiar with where things are and how to get around. I’ve found myself near dancing through my spot, from where I make pizza to the oven to the cutting counter, etc. Spin moves that feel more efficient in getting stuff done. I likely look ridiculous, and I don’t care.
-
Swearing just went away. Normally at work it would pop up, I mean hey I work in a kitchen! Yesterday I walked into a newly assigned prep guy having Nothing Done in my area. I would normally walk into around 20 crusts stretched out and ready to go, however work reassignments meant I lost my reliable dude. New guy is the coworker I judge harshly. I might have cussed him out in the past, but yesterday I just told him to stop and that I would take care of it. He stomped off, but I didn’t lose my cool. I foresee problems here however, so next week’s Ascension Chamber will assist. Alright, this was more about calm, I suppose.
-
But back to swearing: Dropped it all throughout the day at work yesterday. Once I noticed it, it took …effort to get some shit out. Ha.
-
Pizza is my craft, I guess. 10 years making this stuff. I’m a master here. Yesterday, I subtly shifted my stretching motion and was able to engage back muscles much better in each motion.
Odd result. Not sure from what, but:
- Boss unfriended me on the big social media site. I got mad when I saw. Normal reaction, but I started analyzing the feelings for some reason. It felt like when I had been rebuffed by my father. Boss is …6 years older. Maybe. Not Dad. But Dad was boss when I was young, per his own words repeated while I was growing up. For real at one point too, when I worked at a cleaning company, and he was my manager. (Many years ago). Boss doesn’t like me. Thinks I’m weird. Doesn’t mistreat me, mind you. He’ll check if I need things, but he won’t spend time talking to me like he does with my fellow cooks.
I realized I had been giving my bosses, throughout my life, (feels very foolish typing it) Parental Adoration. But my father is dead, I don’t talk to my mother, and these various people are not my parents. So, that error has been corrected. I will continue to work hard at my job, but I will no longer offer conversation on the personal side of things with that guy. That is how I will move forward there. Thank you for the cure, the price is paid!
I’ve figured out a couple tattoos I want to get. I had been wanting something for a while, but not sure what. Some sort of forearm tattoo. I’m going to go with something from Malkuth actually, a phrase I find myself saying every day for the past 3 months:
Instead of Bemoaning your Fate, Strategize around your Nature.
A beautiful phrase. A shift in view; nary a negative in the sentence! I’ve loved it since the first read. I think I would like to find it translated into some sort of beautiful script as well, perhaps English on one arm and the script on the other. Yeah man. Actually, Malkuth, if you read this, and know of something that fits that bill, I’d be blessed to know. Thai script looks close but isn’t quite right for me.
5 minutes HERO. Listening now. Part of me is a bit sad in putting down the WB BDLM custom, but I’m being offered transformation here! That window is only open so long. I mean yes, once you own HERO you can listen (or not) at any time, begin whenever you want. But to maximize results, start as soon as possible. Why delay?
1.5 min ALCH1! 3 more listens until stage 2!
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You are the embodiment of Pizza Mastery X!
Ah will admit I had to go through some similar realisations in my own life. I don’t remember if it was my run of Elixir + Regeneration or Dragon Reborn or some other title or custom that helped me learn this but I too am grateful for the subliminals here.
Very surreal reading your post regarding that. As if it was me who wrote it lol.
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High praise indeed! Thank you brother!
Your writing prompts me often, Lion. Your review of Paragon was one of the early nudges for me in the SubClub direction, for which I am very thankful! I keep up with your new journal and I enjoy your writing style. I hope to reach your level of quality in writing someday.
Addendum:
If the gentlemen in charge wish my assistance for such a sub, I’d be happy to help.
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