Day 8 of the first cycle of LBfH
I will write about all the things that have happened to me since the first day.
When I started the first couple of days I felt like a hopeless romantic. I used to daydream about romancing girls all day, not because I was desperate about it but because it happened without me even trying. I couldn’t focus on anything.
Around day 3-4, I found my negative feelings anger, frustration, regrets intensifying and I tried to repress them like I normally do. You see in my family talking about feelings is not a thing, no one does it.
Day 5-6, I got my hands on a book which I am assuming that I must have manifested. It was about feelings. And It was a very generic kind of book it had nothing new in it I think most people would know stuff which was mentioned in it. But while reading it my negative feelings rebounded so hard I could not even do normal things I had such shaky hand and legs. My mind went inside a fog. And repetative negative thoughts about what I had read started coming to me. And I listened to LBfH again even though it was supposed to be a rest day.
Day 7, This negative feelings intensified a whole lot. At night I decided I will journal and pour all of it on paper, now it is not like I don’t journal at all but I do it very irregularly, I had done it one time before during this cycle as well. But after I did journaling this time a lot of new things poured out. I realized a lot of things. I realized that this weren’t “negative feelings” but my innermost desires that I have always been too embarassed to admit even to myself, I also realized the reasons behind why I was embarrased to admit them to myself.(I literally wrote parts of it with my eyes closed😂)
Day 8, After journaling all this immediately I felt really light and peaceful in my heart. Like a carbonated drink bottle that is opened after shaking, I think all the pent up things I had in me poured away when I had journaled it all down.
I feel so good now, like I have not felt in years. Now I catch myself smiling and laughing to stupid things a lot. I also feel this wonderful feeling in my chest like it is filled with positivity and love.
After this 8 days of my cycle so far I now understand why @SaintSovereign and @Fire emphasis so much on journaling. I wouldn’t be feeling so good if I was only listening to the sub, the positive effect kicked in only after journaling.