yo momma listened to Stark
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Ascension + PCC gave me the self-confidence and awareness that, if my clients can run their businesses so sloppily and succeed, then I certainly could since I have good personal responsibility. I decided to quit my gigs and take a 6 month sabbatical where I will use the time to heal my brain and body, refraining from the world, its overload of information, and negative influences. Having decided that I’ve already quit, I figured with the laws of power that I should do a couple steps before leaving so that I leave with a good reputation and avoid backlash. Having little fear because of already having quit the gig, I initiated significant changes in the organization that I would have previously been timid to implement. As it turns out, those changes, were I to keep the position, would provide 100% stress reduction for myself and lower work on my part going forward. Realizing this great benefit, I don’t feel the need to announce quitting. I’m going to make it a daily habit to say in mind, “I have already quit this gig”. I don’t need any stress and, anytime there is stress coming up, I can just remember, “I don’t have to do anything causing stress, I’ve quit already.” I can now utilize the newfound power transform the situations to my and others’ benefit with rightful authority.
While I was focusing on power and success when I wrote that^, part of what I changed is improving a relationship, because I received insight of what are the inner feelings that may be causing my difficulties. I sense a greater clarity of them and now think it is probably important to not lose consciousness of them. For that reason, I’m thinking I should bring back Regeneration and use it regularly. While I don’t understand how Regen does healing, I do know that it either makes me very aware of my underlying feelings or just causes negative feeling, hopefully the former. Running Regen regularly would keep me grounded in how I feel rather than distracting myself with many other things. While I’ve connected with negative feelings before, the challenge is that I haven’t known how to actually solve them, so maybe I combine with something else like ME, LB, Sanguine. Or maybe I just keep Regen running a long time until things are worked out. Now that I have better insight into the feelings I may be better equipped. I think I have sought unconditional love but engaged in lower vibrations.
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For me it brings old shit to the forefront. Then I either consciously laugh about it and thus release the blocked energy, or a positive sub opening your heart helps, so the idea of LB/Sanguine is good.
Plus, in my experience it heals it directly sometimes also. By which I mean it comes to your mind, you may even be pissed in a bad mood, but then it suddenly resolves. All subconsciously.
Something like that is what my best research indicates is how real healing happens. Negativity is trapped in the subconscious and the feeling body, and experiencing the feelings allows their release.
I’m eager to know if CFW has the entire LB and Regen in its script.
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Running CFW for the rest of this cycle. Going to take a long break from work and I think Dragon Reborn will be the best during that time for what I’m looking to accomplish. My intention of break is to fully relax my mind from stimulation, be present in my body, and let out traumas which should allow me to start achieving again with maximum firepower and trueness to myself. So I think DR will fit well since I will have plenty of spare time to chill in case of challenging recon.
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Got a good insight about waiting for approval instead of fully relying on myself to make choices. That came today after the recent loop of CFW.
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Seems like I’m gaining a positivity and self-acceptance, contrary to Nice Guy tendencies so perhaps Ascension + PCC are nice-guy-healing as has been suggested. On top of subs, healing practices, and career changes, I’ve been taking supplements that have been boosting my natural sense of mental (social) energy. I think these factors may allow me to socialize more effectively and develop good friendships. Daredevil is going to have to be in my stack soon, probably next cycle. I’d like to pair it with some other good stuff but the Asc&PCC seem to have gotten me to where I am now and don’t really want to drop them when I can solidify them using 3 full cycles especially if they’re helping. I think part of me has wanted to feel comfortable with people and surrounded by friends and perhaps I should work on that before trying to go way in on ambition for personal gain. Part of the desire for success comes from a desire for social acceptance, but shouldn’t one self-accept instead of achieving to gain love?
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To address my own question: CFW doesn’t bring out feelings even close to as much as plain Regen. I will choose Regen if I want that effect. I don’t care if the whole Regen is in CFW because I have observed that the strength is lower so the question is irrelevant now.
What I like about CFW though- seems to help me see and think out high-quality insights.
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I was reading your journal today, and I can really relate to wanting to try this/that/this/that with subs. I’ve not faced it much on DR St1, but I’ve been wondering about trading Elixir with Ascension during this weekend downtime. I’m wondering if it’s recon…but no, I’m not really thinking that.
Ascension brought this sense of “I can handle this” (whatever it was), and I’ve desired feeling strong enough again. Extended time on Stage 1 requires a strong commitment. I’ve got another week on Cycle 3, originally shooting for 90 days. I know you’re not on DR and are poking around on different subs (very normal stuff), but I’m thinking that now.
I’ll add this is rest day 2, and this 2nd rest day usually stirs me the most since some things activate from the sub. And no, I don’t think there is a “sub-jumping” module activating 
| 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 | 19 | 20 | 21 | 22 | 23 | |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Wanted | 1 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 1 | 0 | 1 | 0 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 1 | 0 | 0 | w | w | w | |
| Primal Seduction | 0 | 0 | 1 | 0 | 1 | 0 | 1 | 0 | 1 | 0 | 1 | 0 | 1 | 0 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 1 | w | w | w | |
| Elixir | 1* | 0 | 0 | 0 | 1 | 0 | 1 | 0 | 1 | w | w | w | |||||||||||
| Ascension Chamber | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0 | w | w | w | |
| 5/3 |
A major “excuse” I have for not approaching is that I consider physical fitness attractive and I’m not near my potential. I know how to workout and diet and have made major fitness improvements over various periods of time but I have repeatedly wound up binging and falling off working out for a while. Maybe I need to adjust my thinking in some way around this.
I also have strange things in how I visualize my approach. At one time I will picture going to flirt with the girls I think I click with easier then at other times I picture bombshells who I don’t expect enjoying talking to. One I feel more positive about and the other is depressing.
I might be not staying on these subs a great deal of cycles yet. I’m remembering why I made some of the recent life changes I did and seduction may just not be my truly highest priority.
Might be noticing some effects on personality/voice/intention. Note to self to continue using ultrasonic on music. (Today I tested ultra after a couple months masked)
Incorporating something with PS soon. P/PS/S&S is to my goal of approaching and maybe combining with boosters will assist in my goal. I think I should be able to talk to women with sexual intent regardless of the outcome. I want to connect with the primal aspect of masculinity (though I’m not convinced either way that Primal will do what I’m trying better than S&S, which is why I’m going with PS [I don’t know if I need P or S&S so I’m using the combination of both]). I see the primal aspect of man as being natural and unapologetic about its barbaric appearance. We are taught to suppress it by various sources but it is often mothers. I want to talk to women for the purpose of my true intention without concern of the outcome or reaction.
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Slept deeply and woke up late today. Probably partly from exercising in the heat but also, the reason I’m writing, maybe this is from the subs I ran (Wanted+PS). If there is a stronger effect now, I attribute it to my switching to ultrasonic on music. Last night I had a dream where a girl at a store was into me, I chatted her a small bit but was mostly aloof, and in the dream I thought to myself, “Okay, get her name next” like I was getting mentored by PS in the dream. Today it occurred that maybe before going straight for quick action I should focus on getting a lot of dates first (or better yet, hangouts) and before that I would want to just talk to people. So maybe after this cycle I should use DD+TS or just TS because I mostly resist talking to strangers but if I could do that it would be great toward my seduction goal.
I want to expect or picture positive experiences in my interactions. That is to see myself having a good time with the girl throughout the process rather than just merely achieving the carnal endpoint. I currently do not have this. I want to spot chicks and know they’re “my type” (or one of them) and feel optimistic to hit it off. Lol, maybe the PS+Elixir I ran before bed is kicking in now. Think of something you came across or saw and were excited to try or participate in, and didn’t have hesitation to jump in. That’s how I want to engage my seduction targets, a fun game/journey (“adventure” as most would say, but so cliche geez) rather than to a mountain to climb (or prey to catch as some guys might say).
Side note. I have taken on Wanted because people praise it so highly and speak as if it’s a must-have for seduction. I don’t really understand its purpose that much. I’ve often been called mysterious already. I think for my style I should probably focus on the more outgoing aspects because talking too much is probably not a problem of mine. So maybe I should drop Wanted.
I feel like this PS+Elixir is making me go back into the past and rethink my inborn seductive style before I lost my mojo. A few thoughts:
Greene Type: The Natural (I think). Since I was not trying to seduce, there was probably a bit of unintended coquette.
“Dating style”: freeform, spontaneous, fun, offensive (says whatever I judge even if too blunt), walking, exploring, talking, not deep talking but making fun of people and being freely raunchy
Approach style: In the past I never needed to approach (though I would like to for more opportunities) and would find girls pursuing me in social or performance situations. I think if I were to have approached back then, I would probably not have shown any seduction intention; I would go up and be goofy, make fun of something the girl was doing, perhaps as if I was an annoyance. None of it would be for the intention of impressing, making laugh, or seducing her, like I was purely Trickster-motivated. But perhaps I could use that Trickster ability to get action fast as well since it means not caring about many traditional rules.
This is a thread with a lot of suggestions. A couple people mentioned that DD is good to include for beating approach anxiety. I personally find it hard to initiate and ride random conversations with people so maybe I really should use DD. Only thing is the question of whether to use PS with it right away or just focus on the social stuff. In theory I think it would be better to work on the social basis first but I also know I can get impatient sexually when I get going well with people but I guess I will have to be careful and work on that.
As I approach the end of my first full cycle of PS, I have finally noticed the strong sexual feeling I had felt much sooner when I tested Primal a while back. One aspect of it is that a lot more girls look, and feel, energetically, sexually enjoyable to me. Likewise, myself in the mirror looks like a legitimate sexual being and that’s even when I’ve fallen out of shape. That means my limit of “I need to be ripped to get laid” can fall away just by using Primal. Hey body dysmorphia ppl, wink wink Primal, wink.
What I assume is coming from S&S is that I seem to have received a vision of what I would act like as a competent seducer; though, I think I should first achieve the social skill of fun-chatting with strangers so I have a conversation started where I can perform the seduction. I still plan on using Rebirth+Daredevil in my next cycle, with Daredevil continuing multiple cycles. Once I get my chit chat going I’ll reintroduce PS.
As for Elixir with PS, it indeed seems to be insightful and healing of problems that block my utilizing of PS. I would definitely pair Elixir again in the future with any title where I want extensive healing for it.
And yeah I’m pretty sure Wanted isn’t something I need now. It is low priority and maybe I’ll use it to enhance myself later.
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My strategy is: I can hypothesize about all the sub combos I want as long as I continue to use the ones selected for the current cycle. Plus, I’ve already bought enough subs 
. It works well.
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Had an epiphany about sexual shame. Makes me think twice about not having any Primal (& Elixir) in my stack. With that being said, I do think I should see how my social ability improves with Daredevil. I’ll see what happens with it while keeping the other epiphanies in mind.
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