LikeADrug's Journal

Alright it’s time I’ve settled on a sub and started a journal. This journal will not necessarily be frequent since I generally prefer to keep to myself, though it will be frequent if I happen to feel like it.

For now I’ve settled on a strict run of Chosen ZP (FW). 2 loops unless that turns out too much.

I have chosen this program because I very much like that it is largely about character development and leading others. I am not so concerned with massive wealth, at least for the time being, though I acknowledge that Mogul ZP is very good for finances. Perhaps my Mogul ZP few runs (<= 8) led me to Chosen.

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Cycle 2 Day 1 [stack: Chosen ZP]

Ran 2 loops Chosen this morning. Haven’t noticed effects yet. Woke up at 4am which was a lot less than my usual sleep. Night before was clearing a chakra and visualizing a productive day. Day has been very productive and positive so far. Great to be getting back into routine after my first washout while a friend was visiting. I think the 2 loops of Rebirth ZP I slipped in 2 days ago allowed me to better understand my situation in terms of Levels of Consciousness and chakras, looking far back in my past through present day. I’m not planning on doing the healing subs right now that were in my first cycle but I see a positive result and will quite possibly revisit later. For now I repay my karmic debt while embracing a positive and productive routine.

Further thoughts on healing
I feel I have opened up in some way after my effort toward healing over the last month. My senses are strong and I am revisiting a state of mind I’ve been to before but not permanently stuck to. There seemed to arise a strong understanding of a connection between my past and present issues, particularly within 2 low chakras. Once those were unblocked I became aware of the significance of the next blockage. The stack I have chosen is one approach to going through it. I’ve dealt in this area before, but my progress did not stick permanently due to some barriers that have since been addressed. Nonetheless the learning from those experiences should be useful in reaching my goal state. Before subs (Dec 2021), I changed my life an immense amount for my well-being. I am well-positioned to reach my higher goals and potentially heal for good. Given this reflection I will strongly consider next cycle going back to something like Regen+Rebirth ZP to see what happens with continued healing. If all my blockages are substantially cleared, I think I’ll need to find comfort in a new identity somehow. That may be with Rebirth and/or some major sub that I like. In the past, such progress was difficult to hold onto due to being so unacquainted with the new reality on top of the aforementioned barriers which have been mostly conquered at this point. So my path is mostly resolving bad habits which can be emotional in nature.

I commend you for going deeper and deeper into your self healing and personal growth. One thing that’s helped me is listening to ‘The Elixir’ guided meditation (it came when I ordered the sub, but is also on the Life Charger app) once or twice when I’m lying in bed, settling down for sleep.

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Cycle 2 Day 2 [stack: Chosen ZP]

0 loops today. Was going to take a long walk but realized I was tired from some heavy lifting yesterday (and perhaps Chosen recon?). Did the wise thing and rested. Started a new and useful book upon further realizing the importance of the goals I’ve described. Had to take a nap. It was very refreshing. Didn’t do the work I had planned (~2-5h) but I might after this posting since the nap means I’ll stay up later than usual. I feel like my problematic chakra is feeling continuously refreshed. I’ll see if such healing continues on its own; if not, I’ll do Regeneration again in next cycle. If Chosen has good effects I’ll keep doing it, if not I may supplement my 12-week fitness plan with Spartan. TL;DR I’m improving on what I’ve done in the past and looking forward optimistically.

Cycle 2 Day 3 [stack: Chosen ZP]

2 loops today. Was thinking about the topic of doing what’s wise for oneself despite people’s egos.

Cycle 2 Day 4 [stack: Chosen ZP]

0 loops today. Had difficult feelings yesterday especially regarding increasing my work ethic after I’ve been taking it easy a while. Talked to a friend, heard from a client, and planned productive actions/routine. Feeling better today. I may be getting smarter or at least more positive when it comes to leading people. I am feeling my future is not-negative at least. Besides leading people at the current organizations I work for, I may also take on more clients/workload overall because I think I may should very well do that. My healing, in a variety of forms, should strengthen this ability and ambition. Looking forward to more loops of Chosen and seeing how things go.

Cycle 2 Day 5 [stack: Chosen ZP]

2 loops today. Was tired from heavy lifting and woke up an hour later than usual. Did some errands today; didn’t feel a great need to work much since I looked at what I’ve done the last few days and felt my time better spent in other ways. Continuing to receive insight on my life trajectory and where to focus.

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tired and had some bad feelings/thoughts today. washing out. I’ve gotten more clear on goals I want to focus on so will be updating on that later.

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Figured out the Sigma Male archetype fits me best. So I’m gonna focus my subliminal journey on mastering this nature.

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becoming primal

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ERB Stack
Primal Seduction
Daredevil
Mind’s Eye

Edit: Actually, I took something called the Pearson-Marr Archetype Indicator® (PMAI®), which I found to be surprisingly accurate, telling me my 12 archetype strengths in order. This could alter my selections substantially!

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Been (mostly) sticking to a stack of Regen ZP + Elixir ZP. It’s been quite conducive in combination with my meditation, emotional clearing, and spiritual study. I got 4 listening days left and have switched out Regen for CFW to see what happens and consider if I want more healing cycles. I think I’m already feeling a satisfying energy from the CFW. After this healing of my soul, I’m planning to figure out relationships again. Maybe Ascension + PCC without requiring a fuckton of action from myself because it will allow me to heal and re-orient for embracing a social life. But I’m still considering which direction I want to go.

In order to have self-love, one must first have self-acceptance. My goal drivenness has not been beneficial up to this point because I was lacking self-acceptance. So I will intentionally take it easy until I have embodied and internalized self-acceptance.

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Asc + PCC still seems appealing today. After reviewing the Nice Guy thread, I am aware that my boundaries have been violated in the past in combination with them not being taught/allowed to develop. I had a dream last night where people I didn’t know decided to visit my house and enjoy dinner and I was poorly trying to get them to leave. So I think Asc+PCC could help a lot. I would see it as part of my healing, since my healing could be motivated entirely by a lack of boundaries and inability of fully honest expression. And I can always come back to Reg+Elx. I wouldn’t be trying to force a lot of action because I’ve already done that an immense amount unhealthily; I would just see how my mental state and interactions change during Asc+PCC.

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I went with Mogul ZP + PCC ZP. My boundary issues have to do with business a lot, I already purchased Mogul not Ascension, and PCC may help with relations/manipulation. Was thinking a whole 3 cycles but I don’t know if that will be necessary–I’ll see. I’ve been unclear on exactly what I want to do business-wise. Mogul could help with this. Maybe I don’t need to change much, perhaps the sub can find wealth within current situations. I may have over-emphasized the “take action” recommendation. When I hear “take action”, I think 100% dedicated full-time (60h) job. But maybe the idea of subliminals is that they will automatically shape your life as long as you’re not being a couch potato. So I’ll see. This will be the first time running Mogul an entire cycle so maybe I’ll see more effects than previously.

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26
Mogul 1 0 1 0 0 0
PCC 1 0 1 0 1 0 1 0 1 0 1 0 1 0 1 0 1 0 1 0 1 w w w w w
Ascension 1 0 1 0 1 0 1 0 1 0 1 0 1 0 1 0 1 w w w w w
3/11
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Yeah I’m planning to switch Ascension for Mogul. I’ve had a sense of powerlessness for a long time and I want to gain assertiveness and confidence to assert my self-respect in and leave situations where I become a victim. I’m under the impression that Ascension is for that. I get turned off by goofy labels like “alpha male” and power-related talk. But considering I do not like having a sense of powerlessness because it is correlated with helplessness, I think having more personal power would be what I need. A lot of people I am associated with have a victim mentality and I myself have participated unfortunately. Perhaps I will have to ditch some of these people once I gain a strong sense of my own power.

Doing work and feel like I can work all day. Maybe these 2 Mogul runs are contributing. This positive feeling toward working makes me consider Ascended Mogul instead of plain Ascension. There are a few problems though of which I’m open to suggestions:

  1. I drank caffeine before I started working. I’ve wanted to stop caffeine because it seems to cause a block in my meditative state and I want mental health. I may not have entered this working mode had I not drank the caffeine.
  1. While I can work infinitely once I start, I procrastinate because I forget the power of flow that comes after getting started. So IDK how to remember the magic of flow and my passion for my craft before I’ve started.
  2. I tend to be motivated only on projects on which I’m getting paid. Right now I’m charging by the hour. I don’t like this–it is a wealth limit. How to motivate myself to work on stuff where pay is in the future? I’ve thought that a business partner where they know the market and I get a direct 50% of the profit would facilitate creating a business where I could put all my time in it without pay (I would be motivated by their feedback and market awareness). Alternatively, I could use my earnings to contract out some things.
  3. I need to fit working out, cooking, errands, and going outside into my schedule somehow.

Maybe I will figure it out if I stick to the Mogul.

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PCC reminded me of the ability to lie which may be life-changing. I tried it once but I didn’t plan all the way to the end. Now I’m feeling super empowered and calm. Oh boy, can’t wait to see what happens when I drop Mogul for Ascension. I’m going to feel so powerful and more rational than ever.

Side note: I’ve mentioned seduction, PS, and Daredevil. At the moment I’m most fond of the Daredevil because it’s what worked in the past (having a social life), but I need to have sexual desire on the backburner rather than an overpowering drive because overwhelming drive annihilates social flow. DD mentions something like this in the sales page which is an additional plus for keeping a note of DD for later.

My self-esteem is feeling good today. I’m sure it’s in part the subs and in part my other self-care.

I thought of an idea more appealing to me than ERB. It’s something like Active-Passive-Enjoyment. Maybe we call it “Ape”. By enjoyment, I more mean “Amusement”.

The idea here is: some people say to do some boring stack for 3 or 6 whole months. E.g., “heal yourself 100% before doing anything social or alpha”. Or, “I’ll build my empire fully before enjoying the benefits of leisure”. I believe, at least for me, it’s critical to have intrinsic enjoyment in life and some fun while moving forward.

Thus, if you are concerned with healing, you don’t run merely Regen + Elixir + Limit Destroyer. You might run Regen, Ascension (or UA, DD, etc), Limit Destroyer. Regen and Limit Destroyer are healers and will provide passive gain, but Ascension would allow you to feel you are tasting the enjoyment of Alpha earlier.

Another model along similar lines is Proficient-Sufficient-Challenging. (easy + medium + hard).

And since I drank a lot of caffeine, there is also Work+Play+Boost/Improve. And, short+medium+long term.

One doesn’t need to subscribe to any one model, they can all be taken into account in selecting a stack.

I’m sure these ideas may be totally useless considering I haven’t been on subs long at all. But, certain things I read on here I just can’t stand, e.g., “Never do sub X until you’ve done these 5 other subs in sequence first”. One needs to get out of their comfort zone, live in the present, have a little fun, and try something new/challenging here and there. So these ideas are notes to self and anyone interested how one can choose stacks in an enjoyable and expansive way.

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I second this. Which is why I threw Primal into my EoG run.
I don’t just want to focus on wealth, although it’s a big thing for me right now, I also want to have fun along the way.

Also, there seems to be some merit to cycling subs every 21-day cycle, so the others can bloom while the new ones are being implemented.

Maybe that’s even better to not make the stack too broad.

Or so I rationalise this idea :smiley:

26 days counting rest. In my case, I know how I’ll feel if I did something like 26-day business cycle, 26-day alpha cycle, 26-day seduction cycle, repeat. “Oh man I have to wait a month before seducing? Shit, I want to quit this stack early.” or “I need business productivity but Mogul isn’t until next month.” I’ll have to take a stack plan that accommodates my inner bias as opposed to a stack that might be better.