| 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 | 19 | 20 | 21 | 22 | 23 | 24 | |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Rebirth | 1 | 0 | 1 | 0 | 1 | 0 | 1 | 0 | 1 | 0 | 1 | 0 | 1 | 0 | 1 | 0 | 1 | 0 | 0 | w | 0 | 0 | 0 | w |
| Daredevil | 1 | 0 | 1 | 0 | 1 | 0 | 1 | 0 | 1 | 0 | 1/2 | 0 | 1 | 0 | 1 | 0 | 1 | 0 | 2* | w | 0 | 0 | 0 | w |
| done | x | x | x | x | x | x | x | x | x | x | x | x | x | x | x | x | x | x | x | x | x | x | x | x |
| 5/26 | 6/3 A.C. | 6/5 | 6/8 | 6/9 | 6/18 |
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Exactly 12 hours after the end of my loops I may have noticed a subtle drop of anxiety in my brain, similar in character to a small amount of testing True Social ZP I did a few months ago. No supplements taken.
Now 17 hours after the loops. Noticing a pleasant, calm, merry energy that would probably be beneficial were I out and about.
Yesterday evening had an epiphany about rejecting people. I found that I did not want to socially interact with certain people. But, I don’t think it’s recon, I think I had pushed rejecting others into my shadow. Rejecting wastes of energy is a necessary fact.
Also today I had an epiphany about adrenaline. The notion of eliminating social or approach anxiety before taking action is a crock. Being able to tolerate adrenaline makes one a warrior. If you feel fear yet interact, you are showing that you can tolerate fearful situations which is attractive. I had previously thought being fearful would make one unattractive but now I’m thinking otherwise.
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I realize I’ve been stuck in an introverted loop. I’m always thinking and mulling over, not using my time to take action. I need to get to utilizing the time of my day. Not just toward the social goals of my stack, but in general. There are many hours and much could be accomplished if so much time was utilized. I’ve noticed for a long time my lack of time utilization but haven’t been entirely clear on how or if I should fix the problem. I think it goes back to my upbringing, where my action and will were separated. I felt coerced to take action I did not agree with and prevented from taking action that I did agree with. One of the activities I did agree with was socializing, which is why I have chosen a social stack now–because I felt I should have socialized at a young age and have continued a pattern of not. I was prevented from doing it, and back then I thought to myself there is not much point to achieving if I can’t spend the fruits of my labor on anything fun.
It’s questionable if I am on the ideal stack. I suppose I should stick with it and make my day as productive as possible regardless of whether the stack fits perfectly. The way I will fill my day includes: exercise, healthy eating, taking care of my house and personal care, back in business eventually, social events if they are available and I feel like it. Alpha, wealth, and productivity subs most fit the direction I am going but I will just keep on the current stack because switching would mean (1) trying to rely on subs as a substitute for executing my own will and (2) contributing to the overthinking process by leaving open the possibility of changing plans. I just need to take constant action and not think.
A few years ago, upon reading and considering The Power of Now, I decided to stop thinking and just keep busy constantly busy and focused on the present. I sustained it for a couple days and felt calmer than I ever had before. However, I did not maintain it and it was quite a challenge while I did. In more recent years I’ve feared the idea of becoming a workaholic who escapes from thinking by over-working, but, given the insight I’ve discussed, I think for me my constant action would not be workaholism and actually would be exactly what I personally need to do. Plus, I wouldn’t be doing all “work” work, it would be any non-solitary or non-sitting-around activity which could be some leisure.
Part of me fears that taking a lot of action will not solve certain problems, such as the desire for a fun lifestyle. But part of me also thinks I am just going to be stuck in thought forever and that I must have gone wrong somewhere in my thought process when I decided I need to mull over things endlessly. Maybe learning to fill my day with action would not be as unsatisfying as I imagine and maybe it would unlock some blocked capabilities, perhaps because of increasing self-esteem or something.
Dang that was the most I’ve written. I guess something really hit me. Or maybe it’s because I’ve been low on sleep. Would be glad to hear if you have any thoughts.
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At one point today I started wondering what is the sub to stop positive thinking because I feel like positive thinking screws me over. Anyway…
I feel really called upon to clean up my routine, which is strange for a social stack. Maybe it’s the Rebirth’s taskmaster. Or maybe it’s a situation where I’m resisting acting out the title and can feel better about myself by doing other positive things, like when I was in college and would clean my room when I didn’t want to study. There might be some really good stuff going on here.
In order to feel social I need to keep a clean house because I need to have a place that I would not be embarrassed for people to see. Also, living in a mess is not good for self-esteem because it’s not valuing one’s own experience nor utilizing time wisely. After cleaning up some of my house, I had the strange perception that the clean areas have a social feel to them, even though there is nothing obviously social about them. I think a clean area brings to my mind a public area where things are kept clean. By keeping my house as such, I am connecting with my own natural instincts toward socialization. It is doing myself a favor and giving me a good experience, which I myself receive, similar to how I would receive such were a social interaction to give it to me, as if myself is literally another person. My thought up to this point has been that there is no point in creating a good home experience only for myself. "If no one else is involved there is no point in creating a satisfying environment because I don’t care about my home experience. " I feel like something is in the shadow there because I do appreciate my own home being clean.
I need to have a consistent routine where I have ~3 quality meals per day, which will keep me in a consistently good mood. Of note is blood sugar, required for mood, which is related to Saint’s bounty thread about eating a sweet. But instead of eating a sweet at the time recon is noticed, I will just maintain blood sugar and nutrients throughout the day which will fuel my transformation powerfully. That will especially serve the objective of “Minimize socialization exhaustion.” I can further motivate this schedule by including strength training, which will help (1) motivate my diet adherence because it creates a more obvious need for quality nutrition and more comfort about eating all those calories, and (2) increase mood and self-esteem from the sense of self-efficacy of not sitting around.
My sleep schedule may be flipping to that of a night owl.
While I had said earlier that anti-anxiety was noticed at 12 hours, the peak may be closer to 17 hours.
As I continue to embrace improving my lifestyle, I’ve been noticing some kind of subtle positive energy. I’ve noticed such thing before with other subs, such as the buildup of Primal energy on Primal. Perhaps what now is building is a self-esteem and social positivity.
Letting go of fear and anxiety. Moving into the moment.
A few notes and realizations
- I’ve had an underlying assumption that I should be worried going to social events, but that’s really always been a hallucination with no basis in reality. I can just drop it
- My social anxiety can decrease significantly by visualizing myself in third-person how I come off real-time. Taking videos of myself practicing public speaking also helps similarly. It’s like I’ve been trying to be completely in first-person, carelessly “living in the moment”, forgetting about making any impression or good presentation, but those things are actually important to me and ignoring them is an example of the good ole strategy of trying to solve a problem by ignoring it, plus denying useful self-awareness. My tendency in life is to assume the negative when information is not present. So if I don’t pay attention to my presentation then I’m assuming my presentation is negative by default.
- I got my house cleaning almost finished and feel a lot better because of it.
- I had one of those moments where you think you’re done with the ZP stack because they make it feel like you’re transitioning fast; plus, there is the fear of doing what it takes to continue advancing to new levels. I am writing to say I am going to stick to the plan and not switch stacks despite temptation. I still have a lot of challenges to conquer, and I shall finish what I set forth. The plan is a minimum of 3 cycles of Daredevil.
- People see you how you put yourself out; they don’t know if you thought a negative thought.
- I also should state my goals explicitly. They are
- Develop a profound sense of social freedom. (I go where I want, interact with who I want. I will make a note that going out alone often may not be something I want to feel forced to do since it may not be my style)
- Rapidly improve your confidence and how comfortable you are around other people.
- Eliminate approach anxiety, enhance your ability to let go and have fun.
- Learn to truly enjoy and love talking with others.
- Be in the moment
(I am not highly interested in manifesting a massive, ongoing social circle at the moment)
I may actually have legitimate reason to break off from DD. It’s a long story and I don’t think anyone will stop me whether I tell it or not. But, I’ve been working on the betterment of self and life for a long time so I have a good sense what got me to my current step, and I have a sense of current problems. I’ll explain if requested for info. For now I’m going to keep thinking, not suddenly jump, but I may have good reason (wisdom) that even the consensus philosophy within Sub Club would support such change. One stack leads to another stack and each time one gets closer to their optimal for their current step in life. The unconscious and Higher Self are always leading us somewhere, even though we may take tangents which can make the path look jagged. Some of the stacks I ran you (and I) will agree with, others were tangents. But the overall direction was constant. DD may have been a tangent. Or possibly it provided an opportunity to see how I felt putting effort into its goals which gives me further information about my true will which I can utilize. Much I do is a process of elimination. The stack I would be changing to would not be taking me down a path that was decided in only the last 6 months. It would be a stack congruent with decisions made years ago–I’ve been contemplating my life strategy for years, long before I found subliminals. It would not be silly to change my path to do what my extensive self-knowledge gathering indicated before subs. There are precise reasons for it.
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Finally got good sleep. Yeah I don’t need to switch just yet. But I do need to be careful how I put pressure on myself to take action. Gotta ease into it
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Embrace the long haul. A mindset focused on quick results has mistaken expectations.
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I hadn’t thought of Daredevil as something that would affect my business situations; I thought not because of the conventional notion of social life being independent from business. However, I got a really cool idea about the Dd not only being used for “social times” of day, but as an entire lifestyle including working for income. Instead of my usual expectation of business development, especially marketing, being boring and dissatisfying, I could detach from outcome and ride with flow, enjoying my exercise of creativity and learning. My entire life, each entire day, I could be in the moment, having let go. When writing a previous post which hinted at a shift back to a business stack, I did not think of maintaining Dd because of a clash with business. However, Dd+Mogul or something like that could make tremendous sense…because Daredevil is a lifestyle, and one that appeals to my view of things.
Another sub I’ve had in my collection but not yet figured out its place is Sanguine. A few thoughts have been
- I don’t want to falsely cover up anxiety if it serves a good purpose
- I don’t know how good its effect will be and how well it will help my action toward a goal
- It might not be permanent enough, especially considering it came from Ultima and was designed for a quick, impermanent effect
- Like many titles sold here, its goal could be achieved by means that would not take up a slot in one’s stack, e.g., anti-anxiety medication or supplements
- I may already be too good at positive thinking and hope. I’ve come to a realization multiple times of how thinking positive has led me to just daydreaming rather than being aware of what needs to be done and doing it without over-hyping.
But now that I’m thinking of a full Dd lifestyle, spanning into business, Sanguine could be useful for practicing and instilling a way of living, including income generation, with trust in constant outcome independence and enjoyment of free-flowing creativity. So maybe my stack will turn into Dd+Mog+Sang. As I always say, my current cycle will remain Rb+Dd.
One of my most personally profound ideals that I’m envisioning the grand, yet possibly lofty attainment of, is that of living consistently across all of each and every day, where each aspect of my day is as flowing as all the others, my attitude bringing the same flow, creativity, and detachment of outcome, yet producing enjoyable, effortless results, wu wei as you might say. An engineers’ dream applied to life, such approach has the potential of perfection due to ubiquitous repetition. The hammer has been perfected just as the nail.
I could also use Mind’s Eye to put an emphasis on continuing to visualize myself in 3rd person which is my new way of doing it. Mogul may not be needed since my approach to making money is more about enjoying the process and I don’t need the boost in this area as much as many here. Enjoying what I’m doing is most crucial. I have killer ability to take action and learn money-making skills. Being present in life and enjoying the process is most important. I could use Mog for a boost perhaps if I got into such phase.
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gotta credit @Billions for reminding me of a motto that has given me much well-being the small times I followed it before. This is straight up gold:
It’s very similar to a spiritual saying you’ll hear various entrepreneur-ish ppl say about “people keep thinking they’ll be happy in the future after, A, B, C, or D, etc.” For me it is best to think the below mantra rather than “be present” or “be happy now”. Me forgetting this advice leads to not taking much action, sitting around daydreaming, waiting until I get A, install habit B, figure out aspect C, etc, …
My ultimate mantra for myself: "Embrace the long-term"
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A lot of stuff that helps me is counter-intuitive. For me to fall asleep without using a podcast or some audio to calm my mind, I have to say to myself, “I am not going to fall asleep, I’m going to stay awake as long as possible.”
To be present, meaning to use time wisely, I have to say, “Embrace the long-term,” then I actually take action in the present.
Wonder to what all I can apply that…
Maybe that’s why I feel more business motivated on Dd, because I rebel against whatever I’m told to do, even if who I was told by was my own plans. 
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Since the subs seems to be keeping me awake with listening before sleep, maybe that indicates I should use starting the day or before going out.
Went out for lunch today, sat at the bar, waitress was attractive, it occurred to me how I can’t pull off seduction without fluent chatting ability; the style of approach I envision wouldn’t be blunt just charged so I’d have to be able to chat. I was a bit shy with the main waitress especially with this being out in a while in addition to her attractiveness. In the past I saw the potential of going out as such on a regular basis and developing spontaneous conversation but didn’t stick to it and saw it as a high challenge. Now I have a sense of the importance of this goal along with my commitment to bettering myself in this area so I will likely make it a 1-2x daily task to head out there and work on the spontaneous connecting.
I wasn’t particularly anxious with the number of people and staff in the area and I could have gotten myself speaking more; I just need to choose to be more spontaneous. I wasn’t overflowing with things I could say but there were a small number of things under my tongue that could have gotten things started. There’s another idea I’ve had for a while but I haven’t been brave to seriously apply it for an extended period which is to open my mouth without thinking and whatever is said is said. Do you think I should do that? Maybe that’s what the Dd tip “Try to stay ‘out of your head’ when interacting with others, allowing your natural personality (enhanced by Daredevil) to shine”. In the past I’ve gotten rejected a bit from apparently saying uninteresting things to the wrong people so that inhibited my confidence to speak freely.
The waitresses seemed interested, including one not serving me who spoke. At one point I decided to say something to a third one of them, and it went well but was short-lived. I saw how I would potentially have a good time were I to pull off talking to all people around me on a frequent basis. With the one I spoke to shortly I decided to just ask something like I would a friend and it worked. There was still a bit of anxiety to keep it going but I think I could work on proceeding with a tolerance for that. It does seem my experience was a bit different having run the Daredevil. But I also have to consider I didn’t sleep hardly last night and I’ve had certain supplements recently which contributed to my state. I still think it’s likely that the Dd made an impact though; usually I’d be quite irritable with low sleep and NoPMO violation.
I had been holding off on going out, wanting to get a few loops of my subs in and feel it out a bit before getting started. I have now taken this planned step and saw clear reason why I need to keep going out to work on conquering this issue. I have considered adjusting my stack, perhaps with some alternate boosters, but seeing the clear sense of direction and difference between my current and ideal self, I plan to stick with Rb+Dd for at least this cycle if not longer (well we’ll see, maybe I’ll feel like throwing in some LD). I will have the main focus of practicing my spontaneous talking, along with a couple other good habits such as NoPMO, working out, and eating well, forgetting about sex and having a wild social circle for the time being. If I can commit to doing something 1-2x per day toward this goal, just imagine where I could be after 3 months. Unlocking such ability would open many doors and grow me as a person. However, I’m not going to only focus on finishing this goal in a fixed amount of time nor trying to force perfect daily adherence: as I said, I will embrace the long-term. It takes however long it takes. I will take the action fitting where I am currently at and embrace however long it takes, not the mindset of insisting on “the goal must be done by X date or else…”
I think I’m feeling strong Dd relaxation 14.3 hours after the loops. Writing this so I time things well next time. I went out a bit earlier today than when this came on.
Stemming from my long post earlier, I realized the need to be awake and living one’s current life fully and presently as is as opposed to running away or trying overly hard to feel good. It’s like I’ve been more asleep and living in a dream than present, with the underlying premise that “This is not my life. And I will awaken to my real life any moment.” I often envision letting my enthusiasm flow carelessly but really there are feelings down under which acknowledge the slowness, challenges of life, rules of social reality, and dissatisfaction of one’s current situation, and to be disconnected from such is not a great option according to my life experience, so there is a reframing I should picture where I can be enjoy being social yet in tune with my accepted feelings including the need for patience in life. Becoming a Daredevil doesn’t mean just going out and acting crazy. I have formerly seen socializing while accepting negative feelings (impatience, challenge, doubt, etc) as contradictory. I think that is because I did not properly identify what feelings actually were and the potential of their validity. The more I go on the more it occurs to me that I have ignored that important aspect of orienting toward success holistically, mistaking it for a contradiction to satisfaction. Another contributor to misunderstanding I think is that a lot of people socialize for the wrong reasons, but their hand in life led to pleasure and popularity despite the wrong foundation, and I try to avoid blaming others or be negative about their success (I’m not quick to choose envy) so I get tempted to emulate the successful’s behavior, but at the same time I’m aware of problems in doing so, such as doing it for the wrong reasons, not being authentic, etc.
I was wrong when I said I might should be afraid of Sanguine’s positive thinking, that positive thinking can be too much. No, riding a current of positive DGAF energy can be powerful. I’m starting to get a sense of the seductive DGAF vibe of Daredevil. As I had thought after only a couple loops, I’m still feeling positive about this sub being right for me.