Hey guys,
This will be my journal for Wanted Black, I need some healing toward romance and sexuality and will share my journey here.
See this post to capture a bit of the background story.
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How do you weigh the scale of getting what you want versus making someone unhappy.
Any girl always has a lover, a girl may have a boyfriend, someone may be married, you are single, etc
Many variations. What do you do?
In the past, I have always sacrificed my own love and desire for the sake of friends because I want them to be happy. But in never allowed myself to be happy. Back then my mind was still very limited and now I understand there are beautiful and worthy girls everywhere.
Things have changed a bit.
I still want others to get what they want and desire but I also have desires and seek love and romance. What do you do when things clash?
How do you measure the sacrifice and by what kind of standards or morals do you keep?
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You’re seeing people with partners but desires to have them too.
Have you ever look into the mirror and start to like yourself? To love means to take good care of yourself then people will notice you. If you can’t appreciate people they won’t be attracted to you.
And once you fall in them, love has a unique way to grant your desires.
Heartsong and Lineage is good.
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It’s true anything you shower on others, naturally mirrors back.
It’s interesting the concepts of love, respect, and appreciation, are unconditional forces that just are, but you need to focus on and direct them.
You loving someone else makes them love you, but what is your source of love, you need to first have love in yourself, or self-love, love yourself, in yourself before you can exchange it, give it, or project it on others. Love is also like a fire is just burns out all impurities. If you do not have love you cannot give it away, exchange, or share it.
Same with respect, others will treat you with respect if you treat yourself with respect and if you are self-respecting then you will treat others with equal respect that you feel you yourself are worthy of.
Everything starts within yourself.
All these forces and emotions are just energies and it is interesting how someone can be deeply loving and the other person does not receive it.
I had many situations where I felt love for someone with an intention and when that person received the love they actually made that intention true.
We transmit emotions and they carry information. Even from distances, when I order stuff I pay some extra with a loving intention and I receive some surprise items that I was actually looking for out of the blue.
Even if you do something for someone in joy, and when they receive the joy and you hold an intention, you must try this and say nothing of it, if the person is close to you they will pick up on it and make the intention true. Can be a physical thing like receiving some object or something you like to have.
Just earlier I was in a market and these two grumpy ladies were selling sweets, and of course, their sales were bad she charged me 40 euros for a package and she did not even care to give the children one sweet when they asked if they could buy one sweet but I could feel they were hoping to get one for free and eventually they just stole it. Probably they did not have money from their parents but clearly, these women did not understand the law of exchange. Had they simply given the children a few sweets lovingly this may have provoked a chain reaction of receiving more customers and or provoking the parents to purchase them a package.
What goes around comes around.
Likely they were selling very little and they had low grumpy energy, a true lack of abundance. I did not even blink when she said 40 euros for the small package after weighing it on a scale, she probably just gave a random price dead on the 40 mark. I gave the children sweets and went my way happy knowing that she made some money, 30 mins later I had someone purchase all the books I had online someone from my town who needed all of them, and made back twice the money.
the price for such a package would normally have been 10 euros, It’s truly ridiculous how people think they can grow abundant scamming people. You grow far richer just being honest and fair, it just attracts ever greater wealth and abundance, it attracts customers, it builds good and positive energy that enlarges your entity and it keeps it fun and motivating.
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In this journal, I will be honest about my issues and seek ways to overcome them. I wish to live a prestigious life that is very fulfilling, exciting, and adventurous so as to captivate the interest of others.
And inspire them to live a more exalted life.
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My eyes look like pearls today, shimmering, filled with life and eagerness for growth and transformation.
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A strong, powerful person but with a good heart, Chosen Godlike Masculinity?
Been in daunting recon from a custom with the I Am module, I also notice each time the recon hits from I Am, either I drop things or people around me start dropping things, it is almost as if the breaking down part manifests in letting things fall, it’s weird. Maybe a random coincidence but I’ve been observing this closely and I had this exact phenomenon before when I ran this custom, only ever when the I Am recon hits.
Not sure if this module is for me, if it is serving me at all, it’s more like a subconscious process that is exhausting to me.
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On Wanted Black I was also hit with recon, I posted about this in the Wanted Black thread but I enjoyed it, I felt good and it was pleasant, was proactive on it too, maybe I’m just exhausted and this makes me incapable of using the recon beneficially.
Clouded and tense mind.
Little update. Fell asleep yesterday, was so tired, the dreams I have are like watching a movie screen, very unusual stuff although it seems to correlate with my conscious though process.
Woke up having a wed dream, never happens to me.
Having good results from Wanted Black and the recon on this program, when it comes, I enjoy it, it does not upset me mentally or emotionally.
My custom on the other hand hits hard. Questioning my entire life and going in rollercoasters of not knowing where I’m going, when even a few days ago I had such a solid vision for the future. I know it passes but I like to keep it grounded. I do not want these mental rollercoasters.
Also caught an ear infection, It came overnight, healed a bit, then worsened, and then it just healed overnight. This is why I like to keep a reserve of energy so I can deal with things like this because even the healing process of my body delegates and resources and when there is none the healing is slow, and in general resistance towards mental emotional and physical stress goes down.
Have a feeling maybe I’m trying to carry more than I can.
I’m on a washout now anyway.
Another weird thing to report is that I can get in very elevated states, and just in general I’m high energy, I get powerful results with these programs…
BUT I also have a tendency to overextend myself and get drained and all results come to a halt, I meet terrible recon and stand at the gates of the abyss.
So goal for this year and next year is certainly to ground myself in a more structured reality so I can have a greater balance of income and expenditure of energy. Although when I have at least a little bit gas left in the tank I have my ways of recharging pretty fast.
I know for a fact I do not have “you are not alone” in my custom program and still I am
executing the script. This has happened before to me where I can draw upon modules and scripts and execute them subconsciously, I can theorize about it but I will just leave this here out of interest for others.
^Actually, maybe it is part of manifesting healing partners in the Wanted Black script, that would be the only valid explanation as I am now suddenly executing it.
One more funny thing is how I become almost a beacon of manifestation for others, any energy I consciously draw within myself either through conscious practice or maybe a subliminal program others around me would absorb and utilize for themselves. Especially so with auras where I can create environments for them that enable for certain changes or to overcome certain things. How many times I ran a seduction program the exact girls I was manifesting eventually got into relationships with guys in that same environment as I did not make moves.
Because she would feel more interested in dating suddenly, and more open
Other reasons.
The relationship if based solely on these energies that I was emitting usually ends after I changed direction too. Unless there was already a natural attraction between them.
Been studying this phenomenon for a while now.
Especially with Chosen, I find I’m able to get people around me to suddenly find the courage to speak about certain things they held within, because of fear, even though they know it was holding them down.
This is all very interesting. I would say it is just awareness of life and understanding of life if you observe long enough.
For my future, I want to build a life as stated in the first post of this journal.
I do not believe in healing, as the self is always whole. But I do believe in mental alchemy, and mental changes that contribute to life changes. I do not associate my mind and its structures, it’s programming with myself, so even in the turbulence of life I can still distance myself and be at peace. However, your mind can truly erect a filter over who you are and limit your experience.
Some beliefs, programs, structures of identity, of personality, the ego as they say, your mental self will be limiting your glorious and infinite nature, the endless potential that you have to create a life that you will and love!
I will have to do a lot of shamanic journeying to get deep into the mind and root out the structures that are not conducive to what I want.
Hence I chose I Am module the support in this process.
Just letting out some thoughts in this journal.
The unfolding from Wanted Black is really nice, it makes me trust the process, and while I have set a destination, the journey is unclear, it clarifies naturally as you set the first step and begin the journey, and as you come closer to your destination the path becomes clearer and clearer, guided by your own consciousness, free will and personal decisions.
And all this, makes life so fun living^
First Philosophical Journal Entry.
Values like truth, honesty, and factual integrity,
being open to new information even if it challenges long-held beliefs. Having the courage to let go of narratives that no longer serve. Instead of rejecting the past, comprehending it from a fresh perspective, paving the path for a more enlightened and advanced narrative rooted in wisdom.
Central to this evolution is the balance between effort and love, while self-reflection and honesty form the foundation of personal growth, growth that is complemented by actionable steps.
Emotions that have previously been sidelined or suppressed pay a pivotal role in this journey.
They are not just reactions to external stimuli but powerful indicators of internal state. By recognizing, navigating, and undestanding these emotions you can begin to navigate the complexities of life… contributing positively to your personal evolution, and by extension the collective evolution of mankind and human consciousness.
Some results with Wanted Black,
Over the next couple months I will work through my sexuality and figure out the issues I still have so that I can embrace my sexuality fully.
So I can fly without wings 🪽
And make all the women who share the bed with me fly without wings.
I have a good feeling that once I overcome all this Wanted Black may feel smoother and lighter.
I don’t have issues expressing the confidence it trying to instil in me, often people have remarked that they think I get a lot of girls, and while I come across genuinely confident in myself and my sexuality as a result of using Wanted Black, but I don’t yet have the experiences to fully authenticate that confidence.
Something in this script is definitely making me be honest about everything, pure rigid self-honesty.
I still don’t understand why all men want more sex or maybe I will understand as I continue this journey with Wanted Black.
In the past I had moments before where the sexual chemistry between me and a girl was so strong it felt like an orgasm even with our clothes still on. Other times I’m having sex with a girl and I feel barely aroused.
I’m not sure why that is yet and it just leaves me disappointed and confused.
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Today feeling this deep surge of energy and a willingness, nay, burning desire to channel it in productive activities.
Absolutely natural.
Must be from my custom still, which I discontinued as it was just depleting me … too much to consider and reconcile in one package.
My attitude changed towards handling everything with smaller goal posts.
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Ran Genesis months ago and I feel it is somehow processing now, months later. Not sure why.
Also having an inclination to stack Wanted Black with Genesis to build a strong foundation that I can use to lean upon, and to prepare myself for greater achievement.
Maybe with True Sell
Cataloguing this here,
And
More insights
I also realized I have not set yearly goals to work towards, so how can I manifest the life I desire to live if I do not have structured, solid goals to aim towards, if you do not have a goal and aim you will likely not hit the target, as there is no target, to begin with.
And while I have all this knowledge within me (back of the mind and not always available, because I learned it some time ago and then never applied it to make it part of ME) after much studying and contemplation over the past years, I have never truly put it into practice to make it second nature, to build change myself in order to apply these laws and NATURALLY, as if second nature. Meaning, you have to find knowledge, utilize it and prove to yourself by application that it is real and that it works, and then the second time you wish to achieve you will only have to subconsciously apply the same process, now having full faith and confidence in it.
And it will not require the same initial thinking process, and the feelings of doubts that will perhaps arise at times.
I get an almost orgasmic feeling of nervous relaxation with literal surges of voltage flowing through my entire body when I get these breakthroughs, and I feel in part it is due to having a lot of subconscious tension that I constantly bear, simply because of inaction towards programs I ran in the past. And only seeking to explore them mentally, and what they implicate.
Knowing this, it may be time to once and for all put a stop to this and break through completely.
Getting the actual results that showcase to the world who I truly am and what I have silently worked towards (internally) will now be the main objective.
And I will have to be careful not to change direction again, but to stick with this plan and ideology, to make it real before another “change of mind” happens. When you explore things only mentally you can change mind a lot and never get anywhere, really.
This is the main objective is to solidify a lot of the subconscious, mentalities I have that are causing tension, and to step into a life that I desire. Once achieved, I will close this journal and open a new one, and with it a new chapter, asking myself “what now?”
Funny how this is clearly all from Genesis I wonder if it has been stuck processing somewhere in the depths of my mind all this time becaus I ran it months upon months ago.
Tried 30 secs of Genesis just now to see if it triggers any big breakthroughs and changes, otherwise I may have to use a bit more. Not sure about this program though last time I ran it I actually noticed very little of it and that is not usual for me.
Only today I suddenly begun to process it which lead me back to this program, realising how essential and foundational it may be for me at this point in my journey.
Would be cool if I could get it in a custom 
with some additional modules that I want to take along for the ride…
It would look something like this
Genesis Core
Harmonic Singularity
Merger of Worlds
SPS:Nervous System
SPS:Endocrine System
Power Awareness
Divine Will
Stonelike
Stress Displacement
Ego Adsum
Everpresent
Tyrant
Dominion
Jupiter
Yggdrasil
Song of Joy
Transcendental Connection
Terrible sleep even after only 30 seconds of Genesis, the processing disturbed my sleep pattern a bit.
Woke up, awake and focused but kind of exhausted psychologically at the same time.
Not too bad, quickly ate and drank some nutritious and energizing appetizers and now I’m already feeling super joyful and happy. Had some flashes of success in my mind’s eye so I think this also has some scripting to visualize success.
Actually, I’m really surprised at how well these 30 secs work for me.
Might just stick to it.
Feeling super great now 
One thing I have really noticed lately is how everything around me seems to have shallow breathing and breathes automatically. I have incredible breathing, and I breathe consciously, I’m also constantly aware from the moment I wake up to the moment I go to sleep and even during sleep I’m very lucid.
I take breathes as needed, but my body gets so and oxygenated that my breath stands still for a certain amount of time before I consciously have to take another one.
My breathing is deep and powerful, I use to recharge myself.
My one weakness I think is the nervous system, and this is something I will have to work on, I want to grow and strengthen this system in equal proportion to my energetic development and the development of my breathing and lungs.
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Actually can’t believe how well 30 seconds of these programs is working for me. Effortless processing and execution.
Way more results than before.
Have to thank @Risky for the suggestion.
Will stick to 30 second intervals until I feel I can level up to a minute.
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We’ll I’m glad it works for you mate, but I didn’t invent that, thank you anyway.
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