4 Months Of Genesis and DR:LD

Chill today, listened GMX3 and had an interesting realisation while journaling and writing down my stream of thoughts. That felt like I was speaking to my inner “guide” or instincts or whatever. How all the information you really need is within, but there a lot is debris from external sources that might have covered and shrouded that inner voice. That this is what spiritual teachers mean when they say the path to enlightenment is about subtraction, not addition. That it’s not about learning new things, but discarding things and realising the truth.

I don’t know, is hard to put into words without sounding crazy, but it felt profound. Like I felt this path or realisation is the first step towards authenticity and knowing what you want and should do. The answer is within. It’s not an easy path, but I felt a urge to start listening within, and fail or win, but following the guide within, to grow.

I played some aim training and did a short game of CS:GO, winning and being top of the scoreboard. Beautiful :star_struck:

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Today was a rest day, been handling family life and doing reading, meditation and going on small adventures.

Have started to really choose new experiences over old ways. Not always big changes, but perhaps taking my kid to culture activities for kids instead of the park. Drinking a random herbal tea instead of the usual.

I view it like a challenge. Ok so this is my routine, what twist can I add to it? Alright, we’re going to the park, is there a road that will lead there that I’ve never taken before?

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Yo, I found your journal, do you actually listen for more than 30 secs on the Gaming Mastery subliminal?

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Yes, I’m actually listening to 15 minutes each. I only listen to microloops when the recon I get is too intense.

Now that you mention it I’m contemplating whether I should also listen to 30s of GMX3 before each gaming session… hmm

Great day so far, although I must admit I’m tired now. Spent the day at this :framed_picture: painting activity for kids in the town. And I realised why I avoid crazy adventures. Because adventure is adventure, you spend time and energy going in adventure. Your brain needs to work more to take in new stimuli. You have adapt and deal with unforeseen things. Of course I prefer laying in bed. But I did it.

I went out, I dealt with parenting on the go, mobile parenting. Dealing with other people at the same time. Painting, walking alot. Whatever. I’m sure I’ve gained a level or two from todays excursion (if adventure is an attribute one can level and life is an RPG game) :upside_down_face:

Todays limits we’re dealing with are “either or fallacies”, either this or that limiting beliefs, examples in my life:

  • “You can’t be a good father and achieve your dreams.”
  • “You can’t believe in yourself and abilities, and at the same time also improve. You either suck and work on yourself, or you’re good and don’t need to work in yourself.”

Anyway obviously bs, but hey, the manifested limits of these thoughts aren’t.

Of course you can be the best and still work on yourself. Think of all the great athletes who break a world record and then break the same world record again a year later. Matter of fact, sometimes you gotta believe in yourself and your success to even take action to improve.

Anyway, today I also listened to full run of Genesis and Dragon Reborn: Limit Destroyer.

I pushed my limit last night on my off day and played 30 sec of True Social and Inner Circle before stream. And surprisingly I had 2 viewers and a new follower. Something I haven’t had in weeks. Who knows, todays recon, if any will show the cost of doing that. :joy:

From Genesis page–

What you just mentioned is also reconciliation, and it does not have to be mind-wrecking, it may just simply be mental analysis and contemplation as to why you do not enjoy adventure, and delving deep within yourself trying to understand the underlying cause which may be rooted in a trauma that happened in the past.

An obvious result from Limit Destroyer, you faced your internal fear head-on and now it loses power over you, you took action despite not feeling like it as you preferred to lay in bed, to be in your comfort zone, but as you keep heading this direction of comfortlessness, you may even begin to appreciate it, and over time feel more and more encouraged, heck even excited to divert from your comfort zone, and to look forward to the thrill of adventure.

I’m now also beginning to understand this more myself after acting upon the Wanted manifestations, this experience and event changed me, it is a new experience, added to the biblioso of my subconscious mind and it’s vast memory bank that subconsciously affirms each day, who I am, and what I am capable of defined by all the experiences I ever had, and the perceptions I have of them.

If I want to have authentic confidence, and not just display it, I have to garner true and real experiences that prove to myself that I am true to myself.

For example, if you want to become a master salesman, you simply have to trust in yourself and begin practicing sales, improve at the craft, and achieve at it, these achievements are then stored in your subconscious mind as memory that now defines your confidence you can authentically showcase, knowing it is actually true, as you really have done it.

All emotions are unconditional in their essence, but we conjure them, if we feel confident at a certain skill because we know we are good at it, if you feel self-confident, you may even feel confident at a practice you are completely new to, and it will this confidence surging through your body you will likely exceed the expectations of the more skilled practitioners around you.

From emotions, we draw power. How often have you seen people do simple things and suck at it because they lack trust and confidence in themselves, not allowing themselves to actually give themselves fully, and focus on the action with faith in themselves and the knowing they will execute it perfectly–and in doing so align the whole nervous system and the entire body to output the perfect movements essential to the envisioned outcome.

This is one of my true flaws, I love to figure things out and truly understand it, but I have not put everything into practice to really make something out of my life, and in doing so build the subconscious rapport that truly proves who I am to the outside world.

So this will be one of my tasks in the coming years, to slowly and carefully move into the life that I deep within deserve but am not aligned with yet.

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Definitely have some fear and discomfort with adventure, your right. Most likely why I’m rigid and too serious at times, a need for control. I’m like Bilbo Baggins before he went on to the Lonely Mountain adventure.

Quite a good analysis and conclusion brother.
I agree, confronting one’s fears and limiting beliefs by going outside your comfort zone does build confidence and true authenticity (in my opinion), although I would label those two words in one word: grounded, perhaps even depth.

And you’re right about enjoying that process. I do, I almost search for triggers. I want to be triggered, because I rather be triggered and be aware of a dark aspect than living my life never aware of it and suppressing it. This is why I’m working to getting more in touch with emotions, because I want to feel now, and live life to the fullest and not live in fear disguised as apathy.

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Rest day today y’all! :mute:

Anyway experiencing recon last two days, after running True Social and Inner Circle for 30s before stream, and then day after full loops of Genesis and DR:LD. Knew it was too good to be true :joy:

But this is a time for depth. I worked on clarifying my goals and 1 year plan. Worked on limiting beliefs and affirmations. Spent the entire day trying to do everything in my routine differently for adventures sake.

Also obsessively reading the forums and planning the next best perfect stack. This is a 100% sign of recon for me. Sat down and started write down everything in my head on paper and the confusion and the fog of recon vanished almost instantly.

Conclusion is, this journey will be 4 months instead of 6. Because with the new year I’m going back to work, and we’ll do less healing. Plus dedication of 4 months should squeeze alot of juice from this stack. Especially since I’m doing release work, working on creative blockages and alot of other things in with the subs as a buff.

I have new methods of working with the subs that might increase the conscious guidance of the subs. Nothing magical, it’s based on action. After this journey depending on how it went, I’ll share it.

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The thing I love about CS:GO is the ability to carry. Sadly I’m not there yet as I used to be back in the days. If my teammates don’t step up and the other team is all stepping up it’s hard to retake a bomb site 1v3+.

I’m never toxic, I never blame, but the proof is in the pudding. Last night I had to retake sites 1v3+ multiple times. It worked sometimes, but people with a high level understanding of solid gameplay know this is never an optimal solution. Assuming people are on the same level, you should not be able to retake 1v3, not even 1v2.

I’m fine with the fact my teammates won’t always perform, hell, I might not always perform either. At the end of the day it’s a game and fun.

But GMX3 is dope:

  • Always top player on my teams scoreboard. Never below 2nd.
  • I went from Gold Nova 2 to Gold Nova 3.
  • People keep asking me what my “real” rank is, as if I’m smurfing.
  • Team mates who lose their compusure in a “tough” or losing game, makes me aware of how relaxed, unfazed and focused I am. Even when they attack me.
  • My aim is improving and slowly getting back to my old killer flicking.
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From time to time I check and watch world matches of CS:GO
https://www.hltv.org/matches

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That’s awesome bro, any favourite teams or players?

I just got back into it, feel so lost with all the teams and players. Back then I loved Brazilian luminosity and NaVi.

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Navi is no longer what it used to be. The only original member is Simple, I mean from the past few years. Luminosity is also no longer a big player if ever still exists. I do not have a favorite per se but I like Faze, NIP, and G2. I used to also like Liquid but now there is only one original member so they lost my sympathy.
But it does not matter if there is a good match :slight_smile:

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And about Brazilians, they are not as good nowadays as it was in the past.
MIBR and Furia are not the top teams rn.

You can check the world ranking.

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Oh shit, ok! See, I’m definitely out of the loop.

I used to also love NiP when it was swedes only, get right, forest etc. I hated the mix matching if country players in a team. Right now I don’t know who I like, I’d have to check a few tournaments and majors. FaZe looks good, I like rain and karrigan.

Also didn’t know Ence was that high up. Was surprised when they played really well the other day. But now it makes sense.

Forest went to his former teammates after his departure from NIP and they played under Dignitas for another two years with no big impact on the scene but rn he is in his retirement. I liked him in NIP. Similar to him from the Swedish scene is only Krimz who is still playing for Fanatics :slight_smile:

Rain and Karrigan are from old school, and also like them. Niko in G2 is also a legend, he was for a long time in Faze before.

Ence, it is quite a surprise. They had one successful run a long time ago with the whole Finish team. They tried many times to restart their team but with no success until recent years.

Nowadays the majority of teams are mixed. Only Danish and Brazilians have a few national teams. And maybe Russians. I mean in Tier 1.

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Oh yes, go krimz! Yeah I guess I’ll just have to accept the new time with mixed teams. Gina check those teams out, thanks for catching me up man. :+1::raised_hands:

I recognise many names, it’s going to be interesting to get back to it. Already signed up for a tournament (as a viewer), so getting back into it more than before even.

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The best players rn are
Zywoo - Vitality
Simple - Navi
and probably Niko - G2

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And Niko and Hunter in G2 are cousins, so do not mess with them or they shoot you :slight_smile:

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I don’t mess with people from Balkans. :joy:

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Nice, will keep an eye.