4 Months Of Genesis and DR:LD

Journals - Major Programs
#22

Forest went to his former teammates after his departure from NIP and they played under Dignitas for another two years with no big impact on the scene but rn he is in his retirement. I liked him in NIP. Similar to him from the Swedish scene is only Krimz who is still playing for Fanatics :slight_smile:

Rain and Karrigan are from old school, and also like them. Niko in G2 is also a legend, he was for a long time in Faze before.

Ence, it is quite a surprise. They had one successful run a long time ago with the whole Finish team. They tried many times to restart their team but with no success until recent years.

Nowadays the majority of teams are mixed. Only Danish and Brazilians have a few national teams. And maybe Russians. I mean in Tier 1.

1 Like
#23

Oh yes, go krimz! Yeah I guess I’ll just have to accept the new time with mixed teams. Gina check those teams out, thanks for catching me up man. :+1::raised_hands:

I recognise many names, it’s going to be interesting to get back to it. Already signed up for a tournament (as a viewer), so getting back into it more than before even.

1 Like
#24

The best players rn are
Zywoo - Vitality
Simple - Navi
and probably Niko - G2

1 Like
#25

And Niko and Hunter in G2 are cousins, so do not mess with them or they shoot you :slight_smile:

1 Like
#26

I don’t mess with people from Balkans. :joy:

1 Like
#27

Nice, will keep an eye.

#28

Good call :smiley:

1 Like
#29

Today I ran GMX3 and AscCha, on microloops because I want to control the recon.

Anyway, went well and ever since running Genesis and DR:LD I’ve just had realisation after realisation of limits of all kinds.

Todays it’s the concept of core confidence. The type of confidence that can’t be found out there. It can’t be found, you have been fooled. You can’t find something you already possess. I know, profound. I’ve just had a kaizen experienced and a realisation is growing inside of me.

There is no successful person that is perfect. Because no one is perfect. If you think someone is perfect and you want their perfect life, you don’t know them well enough if at all. That is the seed. And first leaf has sprouted; core confidence. I hope this leaf grows. Because what’s the purpose of these epiphanies if I can’t integrate them?

I must say, morning pages? Recommended man, do it and run Genesis & DR:LD. Literally this kaizen moment is everything and I’ve had multiple just the past 2 weeks.

1 Like
#30

I’m loving this combo so far. Feeling confidence and authenticity grow. Sense of adventure and love for this dance we call life.

I’m also experiencing recon and contemplate whether I should start running 7 minutes instead of full 15 for a month after next washout to minimise recon and make the processing easier. We shall see.

It’s funny, recon has a negative label, but I like it. But I’m thinking maybe I’m too much of a masochist :crazy_face:

1 Like
#31

Took an extra Rest day to process the latest epiphanies. Love this foundational and healing (limit destroying) journey so far.

When I get back to work I really want to minimise healing. And the plans I have for next year is running Khan and WB as well. For that, I want to prepare with total breakdown, which is also healing.

Although I’ve gotten great progress with GMX3, I always have, I want to really get down on the foundational and healing while I’m off work, so then I can just crush it and expand when I get back. The subs will synchronise well with the daily lifestyle I’ll have.

I’ve wanted to run Khan for a while so I’m thinking of running the powerful Khan ST1, ST2 and ST3 before I get back to work. And then when work hits, I’ll be running Stark, IG: UPX and Khan ST4. When I’m ready, I’m thinking of pushing WB again.

So, I’m switching off GMX3 next cycle.

GMX3 so far. Keep crushing it at CS:GO. Koovaks which is similar to aim labs, have gotten improvements. Also, aim workshop maps have shown progress, I’m 75% off my past PR. It’s like I’m smurfing (playing at lower ranks as a higher level player), which is basically unfair. I’ll be back, as always.

It’s time for total breakdown after next Washout.

I am committed to finish 4 months of DR:LD and Genesis. I am committed to running through all stages of khan. Through thick and thin recon. I can. I will!

1 Like
#32

Washout day 4 :slight_smile:

The seed of “I am enough” or “I am good enough” is growing.
I am expressing my emotions and feeling less and less resistance.
But this journey is a lifelong one, so don’t get it twisted.
But I love the progress so far!

1 Like
#33

Last washout day, tomorrow we go the Khan route starting with Khan ST1, where challenges await.

1 Like
#34

KHAN STAGE 1 - T O T A L B R E A K D O W N
Things are heating up healing wise.

My core limiting belief is ”I am not enough.”
I knew I had that belief somewhere but never that it would be so deep. It explains my addiction to self-help and supplements. I am self medicating and self-therapy and it’s never enough. Because that hole is false, nothing can fill it.

I’m actually thinking of going to therapy for once. Because I don’t know why I never went. See what I can learn there and also it’s adventure (a new experience) a la Genesis.

I’m also working on a plan to quit nicotine.

I need to pace myself. The core negative belief I have always pushes me to do all these big changes ASAP, which is impossible. It takes time, change is not easy.

Khan is breaking things down, it has begun.

1 Like
#35

Perfectionism comes from childhood. I’m far from perfect. Compared to my girlfriend I’m a slob. And I prefer to just finish tasks rather than perfecting them. But! The inner critic though, he’s a perfectionist. And that comes from childhood where you fear abandonment or punishment and you feel like walking in egg shells at home. Stop to protect yourself, everything gotta be perfect for this unpredictable and crazy environment.

“If it’s not perfect, you’re not good enough.”

Beautiful. Perhaps I’m very tired simply because there are things healing inside.

#36

Tired once again. I’m thinking it’s a couple things:

  • Baby has a new phase or routine of waking up around 4-5 AM and kicking for like an hour or two, disrupting my sleep.
  • I go to bed an hour too late, I would like to go to bed at 11:15 PM but I usually hit the hay around midnight or some time past it.
  • I’m processing the subs, the infamous Khan ST1, and the Genesis and DR:LD combo. Heavy on their own, and require commitment, time and energy.
  • I’m also doing healing on the side, taking action on the side in the form of pranic breathing releases, EMDR and general processing of emotions, memories and trauma through exercises, journaling, reflection and awareness.

This is surely a natural effect of the stuff above. And is it worth it? Yep, I’m working on deep stuff and it’s important to remember I’m enough and that less is more. I don’t need or want to add onto these processes.

The key is that I should learn to accept this tough phase and take necessary actions and steps to rest, be patient and let the process do its thing. This is natural and it’s ok! I have a tendency to self-attack when feeling bad or tired. But this is part of the process.

The journey to being legendary is not all peaches and cream.

1 Like
#37

Every emotion, negative or positive, is an opportunity to experience and be courageous. An opportunity for spiritual depth. A contrast to the dance of life. An opportunity to practice compassion, adventure, presence and love. An opportunity to be better or bitter.

Recon mist, see you on the other side.

1 Like
#38

A friend has access to a high end studio room and invited me there yesterday and we were playing around and talking shit. Never done music before and it was a nice experience with awesome speakers and music.

It was fun and I kinda got a little interested in buying a music program and play around with it.

I feel much better today, even though I’m tired, just getting up with someone’s and playing around rejuvenates your soul. Gives you this weird energy and positive feeling regardless if you’re physically tired, your spirit isn’t.

#39

So far so good. Loving my current stack.

Genesis + DR:LD have been great for healing and learning what I want. I’ve always wanted to be a streamer, but it causes stress in the form of me viewing it as a job and that not being realistic. I was obsessing and anxious and stressed all the time. Now I’m chilling and having more fun. Viewing it as a hobby and feel much healthier about my relationship with it. It was a toxic hobby, now, it’s a pure hobby.

Also been really motivated and looking forward to crushing it at work. Realised how much I love coding and wanting to crush it as a software engineer and even move into leadership. Been also entertaining thoughts of starting my own company. First things first though.

If you’re a bit lost or overwhelmed I recommend this stack.

Also Khan st1 is nice. It’s tough especially with DR:LD. But last night I had a dream of going through some really scary and stressful things but it’s like Khan brought forward the fearless sides of me and I was totally unfazed, just handled business. Which feels like a hint of the development I’ll have after running through all the stages and running Khan ST4 for a while.

3 Likes
#40

Spirituality.

It’s calling me. Which is fair enough, as I deep down believe it’s the end game, literally, we’re all going to die. Naturally it’s my highest purpose.

But I also fear I’m using it as an escape. I want to be grounded in the physical realm, the world of form, before I go untethered.

Which is why I’m running Khan ST1-3 this year and then Khan ST4 throughout 2024.

I want the year of 2024 to be crushing it, physical form, physical dance, physical life, physical goals, yet maintain a limb in the pool of presence, in the formless. Too precious to lose touch with.

I wonder how Khan will mix with RoS/RoM?

Genesis keep revealing my purposes, higher purpose, and various purposes in between birth and death. It’s a beautiful subliminal.

Total Breakdown and Dragon Reborn: Limit Destroyer are also showing my limits and helping me break them together with action. I do breath work, journaling, and meditation. Usually awareness is enough, but sometimes suffering and surrender is required.

I feel more at ease and confident everyday. More authentic, everyday.

I’m excited for Vesper. Will Khan Vesper be a thing of 2024? That does sound like a metaphorical cocktail of forms. :sweat_smile: actually does sound like a real cocktail drink too.

Cheers :tropical_drink: with a bittersweet cocktail called Khan Vesper.

1 Like
#42

Realised this is recon. Also, there’s nothing that says I can’t do the spiritual program and not run RoS/RoM. But my mind is like telling me all these shoulds.

You should finish what you started.
You should switch to a sun more in line with your actions.

I can’t win, and I’m feeling anxious. Which is definitely just recon. I’m going to dive into this. I’m not backing out.

Last post was basically me wanting to switch Genesis and DR:LD. But this recon is telling me it’s working and I just want to run away again. Who knows, maybe I should run away. But I also want to stay. :sweat_smile: