Forged By Fire, Entrepreneurial Awakening - (Dragon Reborn + Emperor + Rotating Third Subs) - Billions

Journals - Major Programs
#1

Listening schedule over the past few days…

Fri - DR 3 mins

Sun - Emperor Black 4 mins

Results:

Saturday after my first ever loop of DR was the most blissful day of my life. Despite many reasons to be stressed, I was overjoyed. Even in moments Where I was doing nothing, I was feeling good. Feeling good was my base state. If I was bored, I could tap into the pleasure in my body.

Saturday night I had a STRONG bout of recon. Full on panic and shutdown. Vented to my girlfriend. Felt totally overwhelmed. Listened to 3 mins of sanguine after an hour of recon and after the worst of it had passed

Sunday I felt amazing again. Total determination, total unification of self. If I made a decision to do something, I never second guessed it or doubted it for even a second. I was always happy during my tasks with zero avoidance and almost no procrastination. My “procrastination” was going to the gym and cooking first.

Then I listened to Emperor Black Sunday afternoon, because I had work to do.

Sunday afternoon I worked insanely hard on extremely important things - no avoidance or procrastination. Worked from 3pm - 1230am on a Sunday with small food breaks etc.

Sunday 1am I have a meditation through neurofeedback and get an all time high score, meaning even on a HARDWARE level, meaning the frequencies my brain emits, my brain is firing on all cylinders. Meditating felt like I was a monk. My posture was perfect. Mind still. Focus sharp. Mindfulness deep. Zen absorption.

Here’s my neurofeedback stats. You can see scores way way way higher than baseline. Far right is today.

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I was averaging 140xp per session, then after today’s loop of Emperor Black, my brainwaves became much more focused and effective, shooting up to 160xp.

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Limitless Executive + Commander for focus, Monk Mode, possible pairings
#2

Fascinating to correlate subliminals to scientific and measured brainwave analysis @SaintSovereign @Fire @RVconsultant

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#3

I slept around 130am quickly and easily

Mon Nov 21 - woke at 720 with my alarm, instantly meditated… my morning routine has been solid for 2 weeks

No recon of any kind, just a normal feeling of getting a bit less sleep than I wanted. That’s the price you pay for working till 1230. No story or drama or negativity around it though.

After my sales call (didn’t close):

9am - Emperor Black Microloop 30s

Goal - finish all responsibilities then tackle my declining close rate, review sales again, improve process to increase closing %

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#4

Sometimes I get frustrated when everyone else has insane productivity on Emperor Black, or insane self love on LBFH, and I just get recon.

Today, my productivity was ok.

Recon is coming in the form of a desire to watch YouTube and porn. It’s missing the excitement for work I had yesterday. Maybe I just have serious issues in my real life I need to deal with around my schedule.

nov 22 - 11pm - Dragon Reborn- 30s microloop

We’ll see what crazy dreams arise tonight, if any!

This is my first microloop of DR, with only one 3 minute loop played a few days ago.

I’m motivated to play more DR because

  1. I notice that when I get recon after my loop of DR, I come out of it faster. For example if I go on a YouTube binge, it doesn’t last long, then I work later

  2. I’m more excited about productivity after DR

  3. I really want to work on whatever it is that causes me to have so much recon from even tiny exposure to LBFH and/or EMPB. Is it crazy to say like because I get recon on LBFH, I feel like something is wrong with me?

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#5

Both times I’ve ran DR I’ve needed a LOT of sleep. 9-10 hours.

Slept from 9 hours last night, and it didn’t feel like enough, after just a 30s microloop.

a manifestation happened… my phone was full battery before I went to bed, but died before my alarm could go off.

Universe helping me get more sleep :fire:

Same thing happened after my first loop - took 10 hours of sleep before I had enough

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#6

After just 5 hours of waking and a quick workout, I’m already in need of a nap.

#7

Haha Dragon Reborn is SUPER energetically intensive bro.

Make sure you drink lots of water, eat whole foods, and don’t be too hard on yourself if you require more rest than you’re used to.

You’ll come out stronger on the other side.

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#8

Listened to 3 mins of EOG and then filmed a tik tok ad! Been putting that off for months.

That’s exactly why I started this stack. I had massive growth over this last year but I’ve plateau’d.

Time to really face some recon, heal the painful stuff, and not just improve anymore, but become a totally new person.

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#9

wow, can i ask what are you using to get neurofeedback

#10

Private provider for neurofeedback close to my house. DM me if you’d like the introduction to the clinic. It’s not cheap.

#11

True to the title of the journal, I feel this stack is forging me like a sword thrust into the furnace.

The benefits are here. But so is the pain.

The pain is the #1 sign of growth.

The pain is giving me a challenge to overcome. And I’ll stay stuck in that challenge and live in the recon until I have the tools to consciously move out of patterns that have been keeping me stuck my whole life.

This is not gentle like other subs. This is something to push through. I’ll be in recon until I am the type of high value person I want to be.

The recon is a shining, illuminating light on just how far from my goals I am, how that’s because of my personal failings.

The recon is mixing DR with EMPB, using my own darkness to heal me. Giving me something to push through.

As one practical example, I’m getting intense recon because of my tendencies to procrastinate on the internet. Where lighter subs make that magically disappear, DR simply shines a light on the problem and tells me to figure it out. I’ll be in recon until I find a way to fix this at the root, so that it’s never an issue again.

THAT is how DR is hitting so deep and targeting the root problem - by giving me the confidence to look at my issues and tackle them instead of avoiding them

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Main Disc. Thread - Dragon Reborn ZP
#12
Wrote a rap, toggle = story & context behind it

Wrote a rap/song for the last 3 hours, really poured my heart and soul into this one. DR bringing some stuff up out of me.

It’s not a song about my life now, more, it’s a song about what my life could’ve been if I had never started healing years ago, mixed in with some themes from now, mixed in with some themes that maybe never directly happened to me but I’m glad I avoided.

It’s a rap, think of a Logic-Style flow if you know Bobby Tarantino.

There’s also a chorus, intro, and outro which I won’t include but the lyrics mean a lot to me.

When the whole song was done and i rapped it front to back, I started crying, largely because there’s a part where it says “I say mean things, I don’t mean it, I don’t mean it, I don’t mean it, no. please dont go. Please don’t go”

“Don’t go” is a phrase that I am NOT able to say in my life or my romantic relationships. If there’s ever conflict I shield up massively and say the exact opposite, “FINE, PISS OFF AND NEVER COME BACK.”

I did a men’s group weekend where one of the exercises was an eye contact dyad, one man screams at the second, “i’m leaving” and the second man says, “don’t go.” When it was my turn to say “Don’t go!” I broke down crying because there were times in my life where that was absolutely what I was thinking and feeling in my heart, but my mouth said “Fine leave!”

Life’s a feeling
made of magic moments
but in bad moments
feels like hocus pocus

Man I need to focus…

yeah my life is down,
but my heart glows,
and I need to grow this,

Eyes wide,
see I really tried,
and I really cried
when you said I’m soulless,

How could you know that what I want is you?
Hm?

Cuz I didn’t show it
So you didn’t notice
Not your fault, that
my heart’s locked
in a vault

all our contact,
kept it blocked
nothing custom
I kept it stock,

I walked the walk but I didn’t talk,
too much thinking and I stayed up top,
eyes are dry but my hearts an ocean,
smooth lies like I’m made of lotion,
I checked the boxes like I filed motions

Fuck emotions,
cuz i got my way and then your devotion,
Now I Got the girl
now it’s time to blow this,

9/11 on my own homeland,
My past - I say oh damn
Grown fast
gotta slow down

Like an old clown I’m sick of this,
happy face like it’s made of bliss
rusty heart and it’s great for tricks,
but i think it’s broken what’s the fix for this?

and I wanna heal it but the doctor wants it for a millisecond,
which he won’t be getting,
nuh…

won’t be giving, -
that away, -
not again, -
heal me?! -
Hear me -
Call a friend,-
Save me?!"
Not me-
I own the place,-
and this heart-
I can’t give away,-

if I don’t get it back, then I’d fade away,
I’d just face the rain till He saved the day,

Jesus Christ - Lord sending him,
to the better men not the lesser men, like me
cuz he’s high and mighty and we hated him,
cuz he made a world that was made of sin,
cuz he made a world that was made for him,
cuz he made a girl that was different,
cuz he made a man that was missionless,
cuz he made a life that they wouldn’t miss
if it went missing

cuz he made a life that they wouldn’t miss if it went missing

Cuz he made a life that they wouldn’t miss if it went missing.

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#13

My recon has given me a mantra. When I succeed at asking and applying this question on a daily basis, my recon will dissipate.

what’s the most that I can do in the least amount of time?

I often judge 45 minutes between meetings to be “not enough time” to get serious work done. And that I need 1.5+ hours.

Then at the same time, I hesitate around how hard working for long chunks seems.

So the priority is working effectively in the time I have and working effectively enough that I can work smart instead of just hard

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#14

Went to my mens group and noticed how differently i socialized today.

How doesn’t matter specifically. A combo of dr and emperor black, I’ll let you decide for yourself how that might have played out.

The important thing is the socialization is different which means processing is happening

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#15

Dreams last night were heavily influenced by DR. A sign of good things to come.

Woke up feeling overjoyed this morning. Well rested, the sun was shining, I was safe in bed, excited to start my day but not rushed to start first thing.

Had some anxiety in the morning thinking about how much money I’ve been recklessly spending. Something to work on.

Nov 24 - 10am - 30s of EB:ToG & 30s of EOG ST 1

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#16

Nov 25 - 9pm - 3 minutes of Dragon Reborn & 3 minutes of Emperor Black

My girlfriend listened to this loop with me, and last week’s loop of DR, too.

She got no recon from the 3 minute run last week.

She is pretty resilient and can handle subliminals pretty well. Her only real recon comes when she’s alone, so she’s learned to listen to subs before we see each other for the weekend. So long as she does that, she’s fine.

My listening schedule for DR will be simple: once a week on Fridays with her.

That’s a pretty fantastic result for me.

My girlfriend definitely has traumas and anxieties she wants to heal, and she works actively on them. DR is great for her. And the fact that In her own way, she can handle DR even better than I can, means that she won’t feel resistant to running the loops and it’ll be smooth for her but we’ll grow together.

As for me, as long as I listen to DR once a week, at the end of my work week, and then process on the weekends, I should be fine too

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#17
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#18

My thoughts on EB and how it’s ultimately not the right sub for me at this point in time.

(But I’m having massive internal shifts. Even more massive than I thought when I wrote this post originally)

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#19

Those “massive insights”

I’m starting to feel stuck in my current business model. I may be ready for a change.

All of this may be recon, or it may be inspired genius… I’ll just speak without a filter.

Take everything I’m about to say with a grain of salt.

Niching down into Real estate was a great way to get started for me. I had worked for realtors. I had experience in the industry. I saw the opportunity of quick cash.

But.

Now I’m at 45-60K USD Per month. And Holy fucking hell, the version of me 18 months ago, when I started subclub, wouldn’t believe I’ve even accomplished that.

He wanted it, but he wouldn’t have believed it was possible.

The better business gets, financially and organizationally, the worse it gets for me personally.

Worst and first of all, I don’t really feel like I’m helping people.

And while “profits” as in our profit margins are technically high, we invest most of that into education, coaching, websites, marketing, assets for the business. Everything included, we’re not very profitable ->. (Footnote*)

But more importantly, I don’t feel ready or willing to do the things that I need to do to go from 50K to 100K. I’m hardly even excited to maintain 50K. Let alone grow.

I fear becoming less and less authentic as a means to become more and more successful.

On my current path, the next steps to success are to brand myself as an expert in real estate on social media, which involves perpetrating a story that’s a gross over exaggeration and living outside of my values to do so.

It involves researching topics I have no interest or prior knowledge in and then acting as if I have 1000’s of hours of experience as I present on the matter in order to be seen as legitimate.

In order to scale past 50K a month, In a churn and burn sales focused industry like lead gen for realtors, I need to hire closers constantly and become sales trainer, which means convincing sales people I’m the greatest mentor they could ask for and working with me, they’d make 10k a month. My life would basically be hiring closers.

And to grow a business, I need to get more pragmatic, more analytical, further and further in “grind” mode and completely eliminate my creativity in favour of increased output.

When In truth, it’s my creativity that got us to where we are. We have the most creative possible mechanism in our industry - we trailblazed and innovated.

I like that process.

Now the nitty gritty is about nailing it to perfection, I’m less interested in that.

My personality quizzes all call me the “philosopher/creative/academic” type. I love learning, writing, reading, knowledge, consuming it and reinterpreting it and writing it and expanding upon the body of knowledge and making it hyper practical for people. ESPECIALLY in personal development. That’s my soul’s niche.

But to succeed, I need to let go of that creative side.

To put it bluntly. I need to become fake.

(Footnote) = perhaps this is where ksub is right and it’s time to run HOM. To learn how to manage money.

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#20

Where am I looking ahead?

I’m starting to realize that if I’m going to dedicate my life to a brand, I don’t want it to be a real estate brand.

I resonate with personal development. Mental mastery. Discipline, habits, systems, environmental design, I’m a philosopher of the human mind and if I wasn’t so committed down one path I’d feel like I could start a performance coaching brand tomorrow.

I know that helping people transform themselves internally, and externally, is such a powerful drive for me, that I want to do it for free all of the time. I want to reach out to people (like @prioritas) just to help them with their agencies etc. I would do it for free. The only reason I don’t do it regularly is because it’s a distraction from the things I have to do.

But ultimately, I always feel like I’ll be playing small in the industry I’m in now. I’ll always have to pretend to be someone I’m not. I’ll always be one of many. I’ll never be a contender for the best of my industry.

To be fair, I could make 300K/yr personal income just being “average” in this industry, but, it would be a lot of work, a lot of in-genuineness, a lot of friction.

But I am “committed” to things

  • high rent based on the fact that I have consistent income, which I don’t want to jeopardize.

  • a business partner who probably doesn’t share the same passion as me for performance coaching (although we could combine interests into an ultimate agency owner coaching program)
    (footnote*)

  • so much sink-cost fallacy towards this business

  • a fear of starting at zero

  • fear around a non-ROI based offer that I can’t crank paid ads on… aka It’s a business where the only thing that will make me money is how valuable my brand is perceived to be.

(I actually thought I’d have 30 reasons, but I really only have the same one reason phrased 3 or 4 ways)

With this business model, I’m basically banking on the Alex Hormozi concept of “giving away more content of value for free than are in most people’s highest-priced paid masterminds.”

The question is, can I do it?

I think so.

I’ve been so unbelievably unfocused lately, at first I started to wonder if it was because of some failing of me as a person. But now I’m feeling it’s more of a reaction to my environment.

(Footnote*) = I got such a massive rush of joy writing this, and realized how much of an asset that could be. He wants to transition into a coaching program, I want to transition into something more philosophical, performance, and brand focused, and he wanted to focus on agency coaching on the biz/tech side.

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