Finding my True North

[Michel]

Ok, another update

I applied for a more regular job in customer service (currently been working at swing jobs for a few years) and was told there would be no positions available until the new year, which was a little disappointing, but Mogul would kick in eventually given time.

Now onto the surprise - a last minute job interview! Perfect time to go in on a ZP title. But which one?

Then Emperor ZP dropped. Gave it one loop, forgot about it, went out on my way.

Well…

I couldn’t understand why I had such a strong inner frame, focus on my own tasks and a feeling of “I do whatever the fuck I want”. Women also seemed to be attracted to me…

Then I remembered.

Emperor is the antidote to a narcissistic/"helicopter parent upbringing (@Grimm1390). It turns you into a fully functioning man of steel. More importantly it fits.

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I’m not getting the angry, boss like domineering, get pissed off at idiots vibe from Qv2, it’s more of a walk softly, but carry a big stick flavour. No need to prove anything to anyone. I have my centre of gravity, don’t want anyone pushing me off centre with manipulation or associated bullshit.

It’s what I’ve needed for a very long time.

[Michel]

Multi quote eye bleed warning:

@Acer

I would say EmperorQ would be good for you and I will tell you why. I have heard from a friend that EmperorQ is a sub which can maybe activate your dark side. Not the serial killer kind of dark side. But the dark side that goes after what it wants and doesn’t gives a fuck about anything.

The sole reason I avoided Emperor was due to the losing my shit at slow, drama queen colleagues, however the one trait I’ve envied of other men was that solid inter belief in themselves and their path.

@Acer

You might think that you need confidence, self esteem and such positive things

The majority of the advice I’ve seen online adds this particular nugget. It’s not wrong, however…

@Acer

what you need is to know how you and your emotions are being manipulated to serve your parents desires

Power Can Corrupt ZP. When you’re ready, Saint…

@Acer

Your parents don’t give a damn about your dreams, desires or feelings. They just care about how well you can serve them, because there was a time ,you were a kid and they ingrained that in you, that your purpose is to keep your masters (parents) happy.

Family is everything, if you don’t have family, you have nothing!!! Bullshit.

Some families resemble a gulag, with extensive emotional training in being a codependent with trauma and learned helplessness.
An adult elephant is big enough to rip the rope around its foot, but does it even bother?

@Acer

you need subs which help you reinforce boundaries that you don’t allow anyone to cross

@SaintSovereign

Emperor, most certainly. Stack a supercharger like The Commander also.

Commander ZP please Saint…

@Acer

Also look into trauma therapy.

Regeneration ZP should help too.

[Davisnwc]

I personally can definitely attest to Emperor activating one’s darker side. More so, it made me less afraid of it, more accepting and guided me on how to use my darkness as a weapon during the EV4 phase. Later versions taught me how to integrate it more into my whole being to the point where I’m not even bothered being seen as a villain of the situation calls for it.

@RVconsultant my bad, post edited.

I also feel you on your family views. This past year I’ve heard my own mother and sister talking shit behind my back, these were the two women that raised me and I would’ve done anything for prior to this year, but growing up can be tough when you realize what happens behind closed doors or what’s said about you when you’re not around.

Not saying you have to become cold hearted but in this life you’re definitely better off putting yourself first. This year taught me that even when it comes to so-called friends and family, all the “love” they show could be fake.

[Michel]

I don’t think I’ve been messed with since listening to Emperor five days ago. I have an uncanny knack for attracting sneak dissing and stubborn random people who decide to aggrandise themselves on my back. Not anymore. Even family are starting to respect my belongings.

While half asleep ruminating over my past female friendships and noticed two things:

1. I didn’t smash
2. They ran

Not smashing was my fault! I didn’t take the initiative.

However they got used to me being the low self esteem male companion. I thought being with a woman in of itself was a self esteem boost in of itself and yet I couldn’t see when I let myself be used for my time and attention to feed.

The second I stood up for myself, they ran away. Meaning once I gathered enough self respect to say NO they ran. The moment I allowed myself to look within and said this is not right, they left.

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Emperor truly isn’t what I thought it was - it turns me into a redwood tree trunk, where before I was a sapling bending to whoever blew the hardest. Attending to self is bucking the trend of what the collective demands but the group has absolutely nothing for me, so why not?

[Davisnwc]

In situations like these I often remind myself that those who left you when you changed for the better, were never truly with you in the first place, if you know what I mean. Good stuff bro

[Michel]

Went for a job interview, arranged by a mutual friend, thinking it was a simple customer service. Imagine my shock when the interviewer casually mentioned that the position would be customer service manager… with monthly targets.

Better get some more Emperor reps in and maybe double up on Mogul. That’s one heck of a step up.

[Davisnwc]

Congrats bro, you were probably seen more as leadership material.

[Michel]

So Stark ZP dropped… I’ve seriously gotta stop sub switching but Stark was the program that got me earning the most money I’ve ever seen in my life, even during the start of lockdown.

Two loops in and I feel so positive within, going about my day I’ve said something to myself that was natural yet rare to myself:

I am brilliant!

StarkQ sings to my soul. As a creative I gel with this product, even on Emperor I’ve gone in hard on my artwork - spending money on tools, learning and taking tips from YouTube and finally uploading photos onto Instagram.

Summary

I was ashamed to use insta because the people I used to deal with (fake friends) are still on there - also hiding my work due to my own shame. Now I don’t care.

Emperor was just beginning to work on my inner self confidence and yet Stark is on another level immediately…

[Davisnwc]

When new technology drops around here just wait 2-3 months before claiming you’ll stick to a stack lol. By then all the programs you want in the mew format should’ve been released.

[Seeker]

@Davisnwc

When new technology drops around here just wait 2-3 months before claiming you’ll stick to a stack lol.

That is good advice.

[Davisnwc]

Lol I’ve just come to notice it’s a trend here. All I do is laugh now cause I know personally my stack will switch 15 times during new tech drop phases here at subclub

[Michel]

Just wait until they release Khan ZP…

[Michel]

Yep the stack switching is in effect. A combination of Emperor, Mogul, Rebirth and Stark, now with the new Chosen from Within title (for self love and healing). I just can’t…

Maybe narrowing it down to what I need might help, or what titles are a closer expression of my soul. Or just embrace the constant switching and taking notes on what will push things forward.

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What I do need is lots of money in order to live somewhere else. But I am a relentless artist with a side order of staying stuck. Short term stack for money or long term for the soul?

[subliminalguy]

@Michel

Short term stack for money or long term for the soul?

That’s a beautiful question.

[Michel]

Man I am fighting this one hard within my head.
I’ve got a massive problem with treating myself with a little kindness, makes sense, when I’ve received nothing but harsh treatment, violence and ultra controlling attitudes, who am I to treat myself any different? But Chosen from Within is reaching past “the wall”.

The Wall is the place where no one can ever go to. It’s a place that has all the self hatred collected and stored from birth and projected out. It is on a tight lock. Chosen From Within has somehow shaken hands with the wall and said it is safe to let some of that self hatred go.

Reconciliation like a mother. Sleepless nights, upset stomach, conflicting thoughts “I hate myself” vs “Its OK to be OK”.

Now I’m feeling a little better, the reconciliation is easing and the iron grip on the idea of self forgiveness and treating myself with more leniency. For once stack switching can be a good thing.

[Davisnwc]

You need money to live, and your soul needs healing. Don’t prioritize one over the other, as you are a multidimensional being. Look inside yourself to determine how you can progress financially and spiritually at the same time. You’ll find your answer

[Michel]

Yep, that’s why a combo of Emperor + Chosen from Within as a stack will be best to address both angles.

[Michel]

… and the stack switching continues now I don’t care, because…

Ascension ZP is the one sub that has fixed my shit. Immediately.

Actual self pride, positivity, INDEPENDENCE an internal self image that is weather resistant and influence proof. Nobody can shake me NOW.

People talk about “oh just have more esteem, be more confident” but how can you when you’ve never had it? Friendly people have tried with me but I just still couldn’t get a grip on the most basic of needs.
I’ve gained some confidence on other subs and got moderate successes with Ascension Q1 and Q2 but ZP is something else.
I just feel grateful for having ME back.

Finally!
I’m climbing the ladder of self improvement.

[Seeker]

@Michel

INDEPENDENCE

Independence in what areas of your life?

[Michel]

In abstract terms,

• independence of thought
• independence of feeling
• independence of being

My confidence was very reliant on how others perceive me, neutral and positive meant
Negative (dirty looks, mocking > abuse/violence) meant a .
Independently confident whether the wind blows west or East was my personal beast to be slayed. It was a never ending quest to land on a stable foundation. Until now.