Commentarii Draconis (AKA Trial by Fire)

@Malkuth mastered Google reverse image search, he has. Spoil the fun, he did.

The idea that after all this time being cloaked in mystery the first photo to surface of me would be where I’m wearing nothing but underpants and suspenders cracked me up. Especially the thought where that is all I wear under the robe.

They actually go on and off. Although they do happen quite frequently.

I really like that aspect. Initially you get rain and birds. The busier your mind is the louder the rain. If you get your mind quiet, you start hearing birds tweeting. And at the end it counts the amount of birds you heard.

You also progress through a beginner’s course explaining some of the concepts. With every meditation you get to the next explanation. One of them is changing the background sounds, so it’s probably possible to change at least the rain.

While you wait, you could always read the Starter Guide:


“If you never heal from what hurt you, then you’ll bleed on people who did not cut you.”


Saint tells me my regression is an expression of reconciliation. That would annoy me.

I mean, a headache I would understand. Hitting a plateau I get. Getting a short fuse and being angry at everything would just make me angry. Turning into a JCast wannabe, well… I don’t know what to think about that.

But losing all progress and going back to square one? I don’t know how that is an expression of reconciliation. It’s so silly.

Anyways, while this is annoying me…


Had to go for my semi-annual dentist appointment. It is common knowledge that it is practically impossible to keep a dental hygienist happy, but in this case she noted I had done remarkably well. In Harry Potter OWL terms, that would be Exceeds Expectations.

Of course, she credited her superior equipment and technique and proceeded to cause me 45 minutes of suffering then topped it off with 5 minutes of grief when she presented the bill.

But hey, as far as news on the health-related front goes, my teeth have done remarkably well.

And now back to my frustration.

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Let me state that more clearly: Not dealing with your emotional baggage can literally kill you or make you go crazy
Mark Manson

“When I stand before thee at the day’s end, thou shalt see my scars and know that I had my wounds and also my healing.”
– Rabindranath Tagore


Looks like I’m on the mend. My sleep is still a complete mess, but I’ve started doing more healthy stuff again. I also noticed that thinking about doing stuff that’s good for my health gives me a sense of joy. Doesn’t mean I’ll actually do them, but it feels nice thinking about doing them.

Being back at week 1 of my kettlebell run is nice, I can see how much I’ve already improved by how easy it is now. I’ve also been doing my breathing exercises for a few days and today I added the Muse meditation back in (which was a mess, even when I didn’t have any thoughts popping up, my brain was still all over the place apparently).

Eating isn’t particularly healthy yet, I’ll let it slide as it’s that time of the year I usually don’t expect to be losing weight.

Even though my sleep is still a mess, my body seems more forceful in getting me to sleep. Where before I would get drowsy when I got tired, now I just drop right into sleep while sitting behind my desk. I don’t know which one is better.

I also posted the little thing I was working on before Dragon:

Other than that, I’m back to listening.

I have been reading the new manual. I wonder about those rest days. Should there always be 5 on 3 off, or can I do 2 on 1 off 3 on 1 off?

“Like a stunningly attractive vampire offering to give you the best BJ of your life, some risks are just too great to take.”
– Risk Management 101, Chapter 3: Responsible vs Irresponsible Risks


I fully expected to continue this journal, but at the turn of the year I got too busy with setting the goals for the year and other stuff. Then I suddenly got super grumpy and uncommunicative, while feeling that the subs made me worse instead of better.

Eventually Saint concluded I must be experiencing reconciliation and told me to take time off from subs. After a considerable amount of internal resistance to doing so I finally did and was able to recover.

At that point the journaling habit was pretty much gone.

A couple of weeks ago I started a journal detailing my extended fasting experience, which happens to coincide with Stage 4 of the Dragon. So I’ll close this one off officially and conclude my Dragon journey there.

In case you didn’t find it yet but are interested:

If you’re not, then thank you for coming with me up to this point and all the best!

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