Chaos Dragon Reborn

Journals - Major Programs
#52

So, the Monday update.

I’ve felt amazing this weekend, and I have been reflecting on how I can take full responsibility for all areas of my life. My personal development, diet, fitness, finances, relationship, friendship, work, spirituality… and what my life would look like if I actually took full responsibility for all that. I know I might not be able to act on it all at once, but it gives me some goals to plan and work towards and somewhere to start. A direction and targets to aim at.

This weekend’s prolonged rest/washout was really helpful, and it feels as if Dragon Blood is working to pull my shattered sense of self together again. I know I’m not in the best of places right now but at least my view is getting clearer, and I am really optimistic about the future. Being able to re-program subconscious beliefs (with subs that actually work! :wink: ) has really given me reinvigorated hope for myself and my future. I now can see how I will be able to leave my Eight of Swords of self-chosen and self-imposed limiting and mentally imprisoning beliefs… and I must say, it feels amazing.

I’ve also learned not to underestimate Qv2, or to overestimate my own ability to process these subs. In fact I’ve started to think that listening to the subs is more like a “primer” and the actual work and integration/reprogramming is done during rest days and washouts… and “rushing the process” by more loops or larger stacks will only make the process take longer as your resources to process are instead depleted while listening. Can’t force your subconscious into submission, right? :stuck_out_tongue:

I’ve also decided to run each stage for at least 60 days, so that when I get to the final stage I will be ready to take as much advantage of it as possible, so I’ll be done with DRst4 by New Year. Consequently I’ve started to see my future plans of subliminal listening from this perspective, and it makes sense.

I did however felt a bit heavy last week so I did listen to Love Bomb one loop last Friday - which was alright. I really do need to work on my self-empathy so for now I’ll incorporate it with DR. As far as I can tell, it’s not too draining and not overpowered by DR either. However, I’ll pay close attention to it, for sure.

So this week’s schedule:
Monday-Wednesday: One loop each of DRst2 and LB (prototype) per day.
Thursday-Sunday: Rest. Maybe LB one loop if I’m feeling down.

I am really eager to get started with all the other titles, and I’m glancing at QL as my multistage for 2022… But… what is most important to me right now is to clear all the emotional blockages and ‘traumas’ that are subconsciously leeching and depleting my energy. I need that foundation. Once all that is released and freed up I can utilize that focus and energy towards The Work instead. Not to mention everyday things and would-be frustration will demand less energy as well. I believe it’ll make all the subsequent subliminal runs and multistage easier to get through, and possibly (hopefully) even more potent, and that it’ll connect quite nicely with QL and some skill-building next eyar.

I am also curious about running Limit Destroyer as a limited use hyper-focused lazor like @Budewr mentioned… for a more active and focused approach to destroying limiting beliefs. Like contemplating on one specific limiting belief and then run just one or a few loops of LD, and over time go through the entire list of them. DRst3 “is all about going beyond your blockages” so there’s that, but I guess it’s more like a broad spectrum deep-cleanse approach…? So I think LD might be a good compliment for “actively targeting and processing” single limiting belief one at the time, while also going with the more widespread nuking approach of DRst3/4. I’ll think about it…

And by that I mean that I will think some about it and then purchase it by impulse anyway :sweat_smile:

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#53

Just a quick update on something that I noticed…

I feel lighter. Emotionally lighter. Mirthful, even?

I noticed this morning as I walked to the office that I didn’t feel the same encumbering nebulous weight that I usually carry around. I figured I dropped some of that emotional baggage somewhere and left it. over all I feel more… at ease. Still eager to progress, but also watching out for recon. I think next week I’ll increase the loops of DR. Planned start for ST3 is August-23.

I’ve been running LB also and this sensation of lightness is similar to back when I first started with LB before DR. A sense that I’ll be alright and that I can love myself anyway no matter what comes.

Now, I’ve been looking into Ultimas to circulate to run with DR, and LB is amazing so I’ll be keeping that. I want to use LD to surgically remove limiting beliefs (of which many I am l already aware of and are easy targets!). I’ve also been glancing at Sanguine for that sense of ease and peace of mind, but I seem to be getting that form LB anyway, though I might upgrade from the prototype to the real deal (is the LB prototype v.1 or v.2 ultima?)

Perhaps StarkQ or Renaissance Man I think would syngergize well with DRst3, to really start to get things moving. Though Limitless would also be a great choice as I read a lot and want to improve reading retention and comprehension. I also have some skills that I’d love to develop… A curious thought… wouldn’t limitless be a good choice if you want to improve recall in general, including dream recall?

Also, I don’t feel as “desperate for progress” as before. Now it’s more a feeling like “I’ll get there - and when I do I’ll be able to properly exploit it”. Before I wanted to quickly fix myself and just do anything I could to stop the hemorrhage. Guess I’ve first-aided myself enough so that the immediate sense of death and doom have subsided. Who could have guessed that Dragon Reborn actually was healing, like the sales page said? :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: It’s a nice feeling tho, and something that I feel deep gratitude to SubClub and the community for. Thank you guys! :v: :smile:

Also a reflective thought… as our lives to a large degree is a result of our internal world… when we break the limits of the mind… is there anything that we cannot do?? :smiley:

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#54

Definitely stick to at most 2 loops a day for DR ST2. You’ve probably seen it by now, but I had bad reconciliation on that stage.

Also it’s cool to see you considering your post DR plan. However, remember that you still have two more stages in which DR can and WILL change your mind.

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#55

So, a bit of a delayed update. I initially had planned to post this last monday, but life and vacation happened :sweat_smile:
Still, I followed the plan, and I feel great. Better than I have in a very long time (thanks to some emotional and spiritual personal growth I just went through…)

So, the week’s plan was:
Monday: DRst2 x1, LD x1
Tuesday: DRst2 x1, LD x1
Wednesday, DRst2 x1, LD x1
Thursday: Rest
Friday: Rest
Saturday: LD x1, LB x1
Sunday: Undecided, but most likely rest, or just one loop of LD or LB.

As for resuls I’ve picked up books from my ebook library on personal and spiritual development, and those were the exact books that I needed to read at this point. They really helped me elevate my concious self and mindset, and I feel as if I have more patience with things that would usually annoy me. I feel as if DR helped me integrate these books without resistance (and perhaps also shelped me manifest them/pick them from my ridiculously huge library of ebooks?)

I still have a few weeks left of DRst2, until august 14, and I feel great about that. It feels as if I can really integrate those part of the dragon, and that I’ve matured in my subliminal listening. I expect even emore maturation during ST3 and ST4 so I won’t jump on any other major program until I am through them, which will be around new years.

Huge thanks to you guys for your input so far!

And I must say, Dragon Reborn is a beast. How would you even start when writing a review of such a powerful program? :sweat_smile:

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#56

Congratulations on your progress!

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#57

I missed making an update last Monday, but last week was pretty much like the one before that, with roughly the same schedule. I still feel an overall upward trend in my life, especially on a spiritual and personal power-level. I also realized that the “one thing” that I thought was my “big boss final encounter for making it to the next level”… simply wasn’t. It was just another symptom of yet another, deeper, layer of fear. And once I could see that and address it directly, the thing I thought was The One Thing simply wasn’t anymore. Like calling out the demons name to cast it out… metaphorically… Anyway.

Back at work this week, and I’ll try to increase the loops of DR those two last weeks of stage 2.
Monday: DRst2 x2, LD x1
Tuesday: DRst2 x2, LD x1
Wednesday: DRst2 x2, LD x1
Thursday: LD x1, LB x1
Friday: LD x1, LB x1
Saturday: Rest
Sunday: Rest

It feels as if Limit Destroyer is really doing what it’s supposed to do, and Love Bomb is simply amazing. I keep thinking that maybe (after DR) I should make a manifesting custom/stack based on alchemized attraction, sexual, and love energy… What would happen if you felt completely immersed in a state of total unconditional love towards the world, creation, and all things and beings in it - and then transmute that energy towards a single goal you want to achieve? It could potentially be very powerful.

Anyway, huge upward trend. Some things IRL that are lacking behind, but I feel like as I grow internally and increase my personal power the importance of these other things quickly decreases, allowing me to focus on what I’d rather do and have instead. Good times.

Thanks mate! :grin:

Edit: I just saw this thread on the new recommended listening patterns, so I might reconsider this week’s schedule and run this instead:

Monday: DRst2 x2, LD x1
Tuesday: LD x1, LB x1
Wednesday: DRst2 x2, LD x1
Thursday: LD x1, LB x1
Friday: DRst2 x2, LD x1
Saturday: LD x1, LB x1
Sunday: rest

We’ll see how I feel after tomorrow.

#58

Please schedule in more rest days.

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#59

Mmh, you’re right. As always :sweat_smile: Seems I’m still trying too hard with this… Thanks for always looking out for us! :slight_smile: I’ll run this then for the week - this schedule feels intuitively better anyway:

Monday: DRst2 (x2), LD x1, LB x1
Tuesday: DRst2 x1, LD x1, LB x1
Wednesday: DRst2 x1, LD x1, LB x1
Thursday: DRst2 x1, LD x1, LB x1
Friday: Rest
Saturday: Rest
Sunday: Rest

#60

You know that the recommendation is rest days are every other day, right? Okay TBH, this looks like an experiment. Except for one thing… see below.

Please post daily on here what you are experiencing. I’m sure you’ll be “fine”, but I want to know what you are experiencing so we can learn how viable this pattern might be.

If you get fatigued, try dropping LB to 2 times per week at 1 loop per day.

One more thing, I see you sneaking in 2 loops of DR on Monday. Please make it 1 loop of DR.

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#61

Alright. First off, thank you for always stopping me from running with the scissors. I feel rather foolish for always making the same mistake of wanting to overdo this in some way… Thank you for kindly slapping me in the face.

I realize that I first misinterpreted the new listening pattern, perhaps even (subconsciously) deliberately so… and then reverting back to the “Advanced Alternative Pattern”… But I am in no mood or state for experimentation and will subsequently heed your words and kill my darlings.

So for today and the rest of the week:
Tuesday : DRst2 x1, LD x1, LB x1
Wednesday : Rest
Thursday : DRst2 x1, LD x1, LB x1
Friday : Rest
Saturday : Rest
Sunday : Rest

Yeah I included it as I had already listened to it twice by the time I read the new guidelines. I will stop fudging around with that now, and will continue with only 1 loop per day from now on.

#62

This schedule looks very reasonable.

Thank you.

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#63

Another week, another update. This will be the last (planned) week of DR2. Not sure how I feel about that. I’ve gone through a tremendous shift the last couple of weeks, and I’ve been able to recognize my ‘traumas’ and the proper way to deal/think about them. The worst thing about having a victim mentality is that it comes with so many layers, and the mindset really tries to trick you in every way. I guess… It’s a sort of coping mechanism from childhood. Ah, anyway. I’m just happy that I can see it for what it is, and that I need to stay on my toes with regards to it. It’s so easy to revert back to a lower level of thinking at times.

I’m not entirely sure how I am supposed to ‘feel’ at this point after almost two months of DRst2. But I suppose that no one can really say how it’s supposed to feel. I am just excited about getting into stage three, to see what will happen. I feel like I am ready to try my wings. So, one last week of DR, then a week washout, and then on to stage 3 for two months.

This weeks schedule:
Monday: DRst2 x1, LD x1, LB x1
Tuesday: Rest
Wednesday: DRst2 x1, LD x1, LB x1
Thursday: Rest
Friday: DRst2 x1, LD x1, LB x1
Saturday: Rest
Sunday: Rest

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#64

The past week’s washout after ST2 was really needed, and I’m glad that I waited before starting ST3. I wondered if i was ready but after the first loop today it felt right.

Anyway, This week’s (and probably next week also) schedule:
Monday : DRst3 x1
Tuesday : Rest
Wednesday: DRst3 x1
Thursday : Rest
Friday : DRst3 x1
Saturday : Rest
Sunday : Rest

I’ll do it by the book, and no dicking around this time. I want to see what ST3 will do for me and not involve other titles or induce recon unnecessarily.

I’ll make a more detailed update tomorrow.

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#65

So here’s the update. I just started ST3 yesterday, and it felt good. During the last week of ST2 and last week’s washout I guess I felt down for a bit. I ran LB and LD in together with ST2 during the last couple of weeks of stage 2 and, well… I think I might have gotten heavy recon. I felt the opposite effect of LB and LD, so I guess that’s a telltale sign of it. I felt isolated, alone, and that I did not have enough personal power to solve my (immediate) problems, and felt really stuck and unhappy and hopeless with everything really. Everything sucked. I tried working it and change my perspective and attitude and such, but I felt stuck anyway. I’ve also been gaming more the past couple of weeks… while unable to enjoy it like I usually do. Guess I’ve been a bit depressed, maybe.

Conversely, after the first loop of ST3 I felt that shift I had tried to make, and it all felt a little lighter again. I felt that Yes, I DO have personal power, and I can see and solve all my personal problems and challenges. I also feel that the idea of what I need to do to progress (with my inner game) have crystallized. I was aware of all that before…but now I can feel what I need to do and what I have got to focus on. Strange, but welcome. I’ll be careful with DRst3 and not add anything to the stack for 2-3 weeks.

On a different yet to me paramount note… here’s an excerpt from my personal journal, right before starting on ST3:

I experienced vivid hypnogagic imagery for the the time today, during a nap. I was half-asleep. It was like a colorful kaleidoscope at first, and I were being pulled towards it. Then it changed and morphed and became living. Now moving shades of black and grey. I saw an eye open up close. A dragon eye. Then it moved back and I saw the face as it looked straight at me. I could feel it was a something. A someone. The question is whether it was someone or something else, or a higher aspect of myself. The dragon reborn within myself.
I don’t know. But I know that answers will come to me. The mere fact that I was able to experience hypnagogic imagery so clearly and vividly… only shows to tell how far I’ve come really. At least… that’s how I chose to think about it. And while I were watching the shapes and forms morph and move around… It felt like my eyes were wide open. More so than when I am awake. Amazing. Now I know what to look for. How to replicate it. A landmark in my quest for lucid dreaming. And the Dragon Aspect? A bonus (although no small one!). I could really feel that it had something to do with me. Either being an aspect of myself, or someone I should or ought to reach out to, or someone I am already working with. Regardless, I will remain open. And I will keep practicing the hypnagogic state, without pushing it.
It feels great. An unexpected but very welcome progress.

It felt like the gaze of an apex predator, and I usually get that feeling of a presence when I am actually working with someone/something, so it felt significant from a spiritual perspective.

Anyway.

Sage Immortal.

I checked it out first when it was released, and again now after the recent newsletter, and I know it’s one for me. It checks all the boxes, and after 4 years of spiritual/esoteric practice and 3 years of heavy shadow work… and after completing Dragon Reborn in december I think I might be ready for it as a primary title. Although I wonder if I might be alright to run the ultima as a booster once every other week or so… But! I will wait a couple of weeks until I know/feel the effect of DRst3 for sure, before I try anything else.

I know the path ahead. Now I just have to hammer out the details and let Stage 3 do its work.

Onward.

Heavensward.

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#66

If you want to run some other healing type subliminals with DR, I think that should work well.

Limit Destroyer should work. What else do you have?

How are you feeling now?

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#67

Yeah, I think so too. Although I want to see the effect of ST3 first for a few weeks before I involve any other titles. And to follow the listening guidelines properly… :sweat_smile:

In terms of healing titles I currently have LD, AM, LB (ordinary and prototype), and Paragon. I would like a sub that works with DR to help transmuting sexual/root energy into action and creativity - though this is not a priority atm.

Right now I am feeling rather optimistic. I’m still not where I want to be, but I am aware of my own personal power and what limiting beliefs I currently have, and an idea of how to move things around. I have a better understanding of how the hell I got myself here, and a greater willingness to assume responsibility for everything in my life, good and bad. I’m starting to feel unstuck, which is nice.

Productivity at work right now is so-so, but that’s mainly because I’m out of sync with my current tasks and work environment. I did a push and looked for a new job some time ago, and even got to an interview at a national security agency… but nothing came out of that unfortunately. Maybe I should apply for a job at SubClub. I’ve got 10+ years of customer service experience :wink:

I’ve also started using an app with binaural beats to help with my meditations (it’s awesome), and have finally settled for an esoteric practice to focus on.

“You will take to the skies and see all your remaining issues, tensions, conditioning, beliefs from afar. You will gain true understanding of what holds these blocks together, and you will gain true wisdom in knowing that they are simply holding you back. […] You will feel deep within the absolute meaning of letting go and letting the wind guide your flight.”

:point_up: I am also really really looking forward to this.

So all in all it’s good. I’m making progress and that’s all I need :v:

#68

Sounds like you’re on track.

As for other healing subliminals with DR, sure. Just monitor for overwhelm, but I think you know what to do.

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#69

I missed Friday, so I only ran two loops last week. Still I’ve been feeling something akin to wind under my wings. A bit of optimism? Like things even though not optimal at the moment are still coming together, one way or another. I’ve become more patient with my own progress and I’m allowing myself the time it will take to change. And instead of getting mentally and emotionally pinned downed by the issues of the day, I am more focused on the coming months and a more long term perspective. That brings a sense of calmness as well. After all, the Work won’t be completed in a day.

This week’s schedule will be simple:
Monday : DRst3 x1
Tuesday : Rest
Wednesday : DRst3 x1
Thursday : Rest
Friday : DRst3 x1
Saturday : Rest
Sunday : Rest

Today also for some I reason feel a ridiculous amount of optimism and a sense of love for all things and all people. Seems that LB did what it was supposed to do as well. Even one of my superiors at work that tried to get me fired last year for no reason at all is being polite to me now. What the hell?! :smiley:

That whole Neville Goddard “others only echo what we whisper to them in silence” -thing really is supercharged with Love Bomb! Just As Planned :tm:

:sweat_smile:

#70

Doing OK, though it feels like I’m being pulled apart and put together at the same time. Re-assembly? I also feel a lack of energy, but that’s probably because of lack of sleep and lack of physical exercise…

Anyway, I feel frustrated because I want to find a way to put together and to express everything that I’ve learned from personal growth and spiritual knowledge and experience obtained for the past 3-4 years… cross-referencing and connecting all kinds of things in a fun, creative and exciting (and coherent!) way… Yet when I try to think about it I fall short. The thought process is muddled and drained from all energy… Brain fog. And I just loose motivation to push on and distract myself instead. Though I think and feel that I do have something to contribute to the collective gnosis… that my experience could help someone else in their own growth…

Ranging from spirituality, new (old really) interpretation of scriptures, hermetecism, emotional intelligence, personal development, psychology, statecraft, personal power, health and (real sciency) nutrition and diet, comparative mythology, left-and-right hand path practices, manifestation modalities, psychic stuff, and much more…

I used to keep a blog in a ‘chaos magick’-spirit but I never had the time or energy to maintain it, and I have a gazillion amounts of (digital) notes about everything, everywhere. I keep thinking that all this knowledge, experience and personal gnosis is me pouring reagents into a proverbial alchemist cauldron, in the process of creating a sort of inner philosopher’s stone… Yet when I try to put it together my expression of it only feels immature and… ineloquent. It feels forced and superficial and quite frankly… rather boring and basic.

And yet this is my primary frustration at the moment… I have all this ‘stuff’ I’ve collected that I want to express, but I feel that I lack the tool to channel the creativity properly…

I have been thinking about just doing some speculative fiction-writing just to showcase some of the insights and curios angles that I’ve come across… while also dropping some hot hypersigils at the same time… I am certain there are limiting beliefs there also blocking the creativity…

I also realize that, beyond healing, I haven’t clearly and throughly defined my goals. Why am I doing all this? To improve, sure. But what’s the End Game? What’s the end I want to live from? I should have known better and defined that a long time ago. Everyone talks about it. Define the end, first.

Although, to be fair… my messy state of being kept me from clearly defining that, so I needed to do the healing first.

So now I suppose I just need to allow myself into the creative process of defining what the hell I want the rest of my life to be about. Though I am certain that it will be centered around spirituality and the ‘unseen realm’ one way or another…

#71

Over the years I’ve found that the contents of my dreams have a tendency to reflect my inner state of being. Like growing courage irl is represented by overcoming dream scares, etc…

Yesterday I had one of those dreams where you find yourself naked among other people. Usually shame kicks in, as I suppose it is like for most people finding themselves completely naked in a crowd. The veritable epitome of the expression of shame. Like a shame of being totally vulnerable and exposed; a shame of being who you truly are and showing that to the world.

But this time around I felt strangely unashamed. Unabashed of being totally vulnerable and entirely myself. I guess I’m getting more conferrable with the idea of expressing my core self more to the outside world, and not giving a damn about it. :v:

Today I will be running 1x loop of Paragon in addition to DRst3. I’ve been having pain in my foot due to bad shoes. I’m hoping it’ll subside quickly so that I can resume my jogging exercises soon… I need to channel this restlessness…

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