Ah, so much deadwood to burn of…so much, so much… I won’t go into details, but a lifelong habit of victim mentality, insecurity, and self-loathing has brought me to my knees, and I’m sick of it. I have not been the kind of person I wanted to be, and I’ve been reactive and toxic for years. Two years ago my shadow self appeared and kicked my sorry ass. It was not pretty, but I needed it. I learned that I had to fix the stuff I carried with me, least I carry it with me for the rest of my life. You know the story.
So I started to re-imagined myself as something else… someone else… A metaphorical monster of such profound depth and strength - that I simply had no reason to be petty, small-minded or toxic, anymore. Someone that had transcended all that. A bit edgy, I know, but it’s something to steady my course. My aim, I suppose, is to be whole. To be swift, ambitious and able. Zen-minded. Also to be able to carry the people around me.
But even after consuming tons of self help books, blogs, and stuff like that, I still lacked the tools for metamorphosis! I even asked Apophis for guidance. I had the vision, but neither a map nor a compass. My searching for tools eventually brought me here, to this community. To you guys.
Having read about the DR-journeys of you guys, I am now invigorated with resolve that I can do this. That I too, can become a dragon. So here is my journal. What better way to commit to something than to do so publicly?
So here begins my journey, so that I can soon enough consume the sun itself!
( Hah, I’ve got a flair for the dramatic, but it’s all fun. I stopped being edgelord long ago 
)
Previously I’ve run an LB stack for about 40 days, and I noticed significant increase of empathy towards myself. Having that as a scaffold, I will be running a DRst1 stack with LB when I need soothing, and Emperor or even Executive Ultima the days I need to get stuff done. I might add Paragon later on, but RM and Alchemist definitely!
I am looking forward to this journey, and I know it won’t be easy. Heck, I petitioned a primordial chaos being for help with this, so I’m game with whatever comes!
I just want to wrap this up and say that I really appreciate you guys, both subclub and all you members out there! The improvements we make in our lives (and consequently to others!) are mind blowing, and I am humbled to be part of this Dragon Flight 
Chers!
/Athax
). It’s like the image of all the data being arranged coherently and neatly. So I guess, a notion of calmness knowing that underneath the surface there is a process running in order to sort things out. It’s nice. I also ran Aura because I wanted to see what happened, and turns out I had to confront some of my own shit that has been affecting other people. Harsh truth, but definitely worthwhile considering the end goal. I wouldn’t have it any other way.
