Day 8 Rest Day
Khan ST2 shoulder behind the back is serious guys…My chest is up shoulders behind…all my life I slouch but it’s painful now…because I don’t have the habit of shoulder behind the back
sex is every 2 days from every once a month or two
paragon
no more knee pain but shoulder pain is there…maybe because of arch body shoulder behind the back
love bomb
still lots of scars on me due to various hate over years & decades
I need more love bomb shots for more profound effect
I cant find in your journal when you switched to stage 2. How do you compare Khan stage 2 and Khan stage 1?
Sounds like you have made some great strides so far, which is awesome!
And remember we are all here for you if and when it get’s rough. We are all on journeys of self-improvement, and we help each others along the way 
You’ll get used to it, eventually 
Could be! Maybe some more paragon to deal with the pain of your new and awesome posture? 
And that’s OK. You are recovering from all that, and you are rewriting your own story into something else now, something amazing. It won’t happen overnight, but it is inevitable, I assure you
The one you wrote about earlier, or a different one?
Also, it seems that you are doing great with manifestations. How do you feel about all that? Have you had the chance to look up Aaron Doughty or Joseph Alai on Youtube? I know other’s recommended them, but those guys are simply amazing. Very down to earth and they explain stuff really well.
maybe you missed this post
I stop dr all thanks to @Athanaxos & switch to khan st2 because healing some what making my life very miserable
Khan ST2 is very very very sexual, shoulder behind the back & no more slouching
Khan ST1 I exactly can’t define it because I was running two healing subs together but I was having full of anger very weird dream & I started to become more emotional & going in o past also started listening to the sad song
if I can see logs of my music listening pattern in the last cycle there will be more depressing sad songs that I listen to nonstop
Now after changing stack drastically I am listening to pop song romantic song
Thanks but there is more concern worry about my future financial issues…I hope i will get it through
Thanks, this means too much for me
all the life i was slouching…i will surely get through it
yep, paragon completely replace eof for this cycle
after listening to Love bomb I realize I needed some real self-love…which I was missing from my whole life…I always tried to find a way of happiness in porn, movies, tv shows but after all that I was still miserable until…I hit cfw, & especially love bomb
I am thinking to stick to love bomb for a long time
the new phone which I bought after destroying the old phone
but all is ok now…I got the device back from the service center…i bricked after trying to relock bootloader because phone wasn’t updating march security patch
Day 9 Sub Day
Yesterday night I was tired because the night before I have slept only for 4 or 5 hours.
So naturally, I slept as I went to bed but the problem is I have plugged headphones with Khan ST2 ultrasonic & Love BOMB…I don’t know it play its loop or I just remove my headphone during sleep
That confusion went away when I observe my behavior… self-love…selfies…reacting to love songs… meeting happily with everyone…that’s the indication I did listen to love bomb may be a masked version
but I didn’t feel khan st2 the reason maybe ultrasonic version…my brain react to mask one hmmm
slept 9 hours which is cool, manifesting left-right at everyone I see…
since I was imagining having s with every girl I see 
I just start imagining she is coming to me & saying hi…this is a lot easier than someone getting down on me…
paragon I don’t know why it always works day after a rest day? strange but hell yeah pain-free as of writing…I hope it will continue
girls who don’t respond to me well I stopped giving them attention by again going to them & I initiate the talk
feeling calm relaxed thinking before talking…not cursing which I usually do 
if you guys like me & feel you have not been loved from your childhood…love bomb is there to make you love yourself & I mean not by ejaculation lol
& at last, there is one anxiety in me regarding money…I mean I am getting anxious whether this work or not but doing a course where the coach said there is a world record which everyone thought to be impossible to break but one day one man broke it so after that within a week all around the world 30+ people broke the same record which seems impossible before.
because others got belief if he/she can do it why can’t them & broke the fucking record
I know I am an intelligent talented guy which all the people who know me tell me all the time…
but I wasted my time doing things that didn’t benefit me…I did it because of passion & strange love for it
I just need to transmute my energy in doing things where other people are doing it successfully to make real money
for eg freelancing…I did read one comment on Reddit that the person isn’t getting enough clients & blah blah that negative comment stuck in my brain & became my limiting beliefs this been happening for over a decade…heck even I would become a millionaire as of now but this limiting shit stopped me pursuing things which I can easily achieve
but I dint want to cry now & go to healing me…fuck I just want to do some action & start believing in things to achieve them…heck what will I lose some time & money…but do I am not wasting it already…I am just not trying enough to be a successful person which I want to become
Day 11 Sub Day
Yesterday night slept only 5 hours…the reason may be modafinil with caffeine?
I also now added DD on phone for 8 hours
every time if I wake up in the middle of the night then I will just plug-in headphones & listen to manifestation meditation
apart from that today’s day was very dull…because of lack of sleep & especially unable to sleep I am just exhausted right now
So I will continue writing journal tomorrow with some interesting happened today beside being a dull day
see ya
Continuing
I am wasting 12 hours of a day fighting myself about sleep issues lol
fuck this sleep
I will start work after 6 am if I feel I am exhausted I will try to sleep if not I will continue
I just can’t ruin my life for the sake of 6 hours or 5 hour
I just need to start at 6…if I don’t sleep early that’s not the fucking problem of starting routine at 6
If I want to achieve something I really need to take bold decisions from now on
Good Thing about yesterday
Yesterday in Crossfit gym…there was no batch because of summer & only a few people showed up…they cancel the batch
I have a headache…pimples on my forehead because of bad skin routine & what not…I am just saying i wasn’t 100%
but this doesn’t stop me from exercising for the camera…in the previous time i would just say myself…fuck I need to go home & do whatever I needed to do
but Nah…I alone shoot myself with my new mobile doing exercises & made an excellent short video
I posted on SM & got applauded by genuine people
& fuck them who don’t react…i don’t need their validation
though I seek validation lol after wakeup…looks like khan telling me fuck them fuck em all…I am the best…I am self-sufficient…I am enough for myself
II don’t need any girl to feel complete…those who don’t reply to me or open snap fuck 'em…I will also not reply or open or send them any
snap…ig all this childish bullshit…I just needed to learn how to create good videos & needed a small audience before I release them to public
Anxiety about work-related stuff
I just noticed why in the world, I am procrastinating important work & doing less important or no important things at all???
lol I am afraid…afraid of what i don’t know
lemme give you an example
my manager told me about making an report a week ago & she will definitely ask me in a day or 2…but I keep delaying it…but why??? I also don’t know
just now I started the work only by giving myself reward after the completion of the task
rewards etc is okay but what about delayed gratification
I definitely need to think about this stuff & remove this blockage from my life
How did the work go once you started doing it? Different to how you expected it to go? Or basically same as you’d imagined it might go?
actually, my work is based on more technical stuff & to be honest, I haven’t done much work by myself because of low pay…but due to recent events I can’t risk losing this job till I get other source of revenue
on question
it’s mix feeling because every obstacle make me stop the work but I right now keep giving myself every little thing I do to overcome obstacle & finish the work as soon as possible
it goes definitely I expected it to go but if I do it regularly then it would be a lot easier because not only do I have time but also no pressure
It sounds like some of the tasks are not very stimulating to you.
You might be able to trick your mind (for a little while) by combining it with something you do find stimulating.
What kind of tasks/activities do you tend to find very stimulating and meaningful?
I am being completely honest with you & more important I am being more honest with myself right now
your question triggers me very hard and actually I wanna confess here that I am a lazy mother*****…I get stimulated to P…doing seduction stuff and just wasting time in my phone or pc
last year or more I wasted by watching web series and movies & right now I just upgraded myself & trying very hard to impress other people by showing them I am much a higher value guy
I really need to discipline myself because I won’t get success in other areas like seduction or fame or being more alpha macho without working on things that make me money
thanks for asking this because questions like this helping me discover more of myself
What’s SM?
social media
Ah. Thank you.
Rewarding myself is a great way to stay productive I know its a permanent solution but nothing is better than something
the job task I was able to complete 1 part & other 8 I wrote it down for simplification…which will help me tomorrow to complete the task & retain my job
rewarding also help me mindlessly stalking on phone…I am feeling more in my control giving access when I do something
after the gym, I usually do waste time by laying on my bed but not today which is also a great thing
I am thinking of taking semi-retirement from seduction till I build my empire of wealth
I mean I will not approach a girl twice…I will be playing the wanted game instead of chasing from now on…If I lose some girls it’s their loss, not mine…they will lose the friendship of future millionaire
Rewarding also help me detach from things which is the hardest thing for me right now because I can’t manifest if I can’t let go…I am ready to lose everything by not thinking about them
but how can i lose them If I already have them
It is done 
It is done
It is done
It is done
It is done
Day 12 Rest Day
I am really really very happy that after my sleep got disturbed at 5…I can’t sleep but at 6 I started working on my job task which I described in an earlier post…though I have done 2 sessions of Pomodoro I am really happy that…I started working in the morning after a long time…I hope this behavior turns into a habit
Yesterday too was a productive day…& rewarding myself is finally paying off…after a few months I will get rid of rewarding & learn delayed gratification but heck I really needed to be productive now to make my mind stable
I hope Khan programming stick to me & after 2 months I must become a real KHAN
Did you make the video?