I just need to save this in here.
Microloops work much more immediate as you’re exposed to less.
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- April
Listening Day 4
18 sec RotNW 5:55 LB 5:55 DRP
I gave in. Hornyness is low, but I want more intimacy. So I threw in a quantum loop (how do you call something smaller than a microloop?) Of RotNW.
Today I slept pretty good. I recovered from the couple of bad and short nights this week with a few naps the last days and I slept solid 8.5 hours tonight, so I feel regenerated today.
My minijob is still a bit taxing, but it’s getting better everyday. The last two days were super chaotic. The day before yesterday our coffee machine leaked water so we called a technician. He sad, it’s a plumbers job because of a blocked pipe. So my boss (female) decided to do it herself (waiting time would have been a few hours at least, and coffee is money).
She did it, but it wasn’t nice. 11 years of milk and cacao residue. When it finaly dropped out of the pipe, it sounded like diarrhea and smelled even worse.
Yesterday, our gas pumps didn’t work. Super chaotic.
But she said, either I’m very unlucky to experience all this bad luck in my first week or very lucky. I think the later. After all this chaos and trouble, a normal shift will be a cakewalk.
Tomorrow I’ll have my first late shift (5-10pm), what will be my regular shift.
I paid a lot of bills yesterday. Car repair 900 bucks, other stuff 850 bucks. And I canceled a trainer course I booked 16 months ago.
All things that would have been rather hard in the past.
I still have a lot of mail to open and answer, but it gets better.
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Today I was woken up rather early.
Our neighbor was vacuuming something at 7 am.
The buildings are like 5 meters away and it echoed like in a gorge.
And ge didn’t just vacuum for 15 minutes straight. No. He vacuumed for a few minutes stopped for some time and started again. Like at least 5 times. Everytime I fell asleep he started again.
The interesting thing is, that I turned seriously angry and had the craziest revenge fantasies.
Like filling waterbombs with aged urine and dropping them on him, putting some durian next to his airfilter and stuff like this.
I didn’t have them in this intensity in quite some time. Could this be LB healing the underlying causes?
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- April
Listening Day 5
4:20 KB2 5:40 GM 15s RotNW
RotNW bore fruit.
9 April
Listening Day 6
6:44 LB 1 min Phoenix 10 sec RotNW
- April
I start to reflect more on how I spend my free time, now that I have a minijob.
Gaming takes less and less of my time.
Sexual thoughts are down to a minimum.
I wake up and feel exhausted again. A bit like at the beginning of KB1, but not as strong. I think that will pass pretty soon, once I adapted more to the scripting.
More bills and reminders, but I manage to stay rather calm and optimistic, that I can manage it all.
I paid another few bills on 2. reminder from my coaching class. Something I procrastinated on because I forgot that I booked another class with them, which I couldn’t pay. I paid the first rate by accident, and then I panicked when I realized later, that I have now 500 bucks less then expected. So I finally wrote a mail. They not only reversed my booking for free, they even offset the payment I already made with open demands. LB?
I’m gratefull for the opportunity of my minijob to build self esteem. On the other hand, it seems common in these kind of jobs, that you get only paid for time behind the register. But I have to be there 10 minutes early to prepare my register and stay longer to do the accounting, close the gas station, do all the work I’m supposed to do during my shift but can’t due to customers demanding my attention non stop etc. That sums up to at least 30 minutes of unpaid work every workday.
That increases my urge to get a better job. So I’m kinda thankful for this suboptimal condition.
On another note, working behind a register and handling hundreds banknotes everyday, I became much more connected with money.
My relationship to banknotes changed dramatically.
In the past, I crumpled banknotes, I rolled them up, folded them, put them in my pocket, whatever. I didn’t appreciate them.
Now that I have to take care of them, remove earmarks etc before I put them in the safe, I treat my own money far better. I searched my wallet for some time recently because I didn’t want to just put the banknotes in my pocket.
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Food for thought for those who know
Patrick Rothfuss, A wise man’s fear
- April
Listening Day 7
30 seconds RotNW 7min KB2 5:05 min GM
- April
11:30 LB 16 sec Phoenix 30 sec RotNW
Find the bird
Went to an alternative health event today. Pretty interesting how much you can that school medicine says is impossible.
My Job and Angel numbers
Last day I worked, on the way to the gas station, the car infront of me had a 777 on its license plate. I passed it pretty quickly. When I entered the town where I work, again I had a car with 777 on it’s license plate right in front of me.
Today, I looked 2 times at the numbers of liters the customer refueled. First time it was 8.88 liters, second time 7.77 liters. Both motorcycles.
And many more, but this were the most outstanding.
- April
Listening Day 9
9.5 min KB2 9:50 min GM 11 sec RotNW
I realized I didn’t play Assassin’s creed for 3 days in a row. Whenever I usually played I have more important things to do. Either some chores around the house or reading a super interesting book from Alberto Villoldo.
When my mom came back from dialysis, she told me her driver spoke very highly of me and my work at the gasstation. He’s the bf of the owner and his daughter was the one training me the first three days. So praise form authority. It’s building my self-esteem.
LB, GM or both?
It’s spring and I enjoy nature coming back to life much more than in the last few years.
I listened to my subs early afternoon today, so I’m looking forward to see if it makes any difference on how tired I’m gonna wake up tomorrow.
Today I prepared some Chashu. Japanese pork belly for Ramen. Tomorrow is Ramen day.
Longest KB2 loop ever yesterday and I woke up today and felt much better than normaly
Since I started with KB2, it always felt like I was hit by a truck again as in stage 1.
Today, I still felt tired, but all the bodily ailments are gone.
Might also be a factor that I listened in the afternoon instead of the late evening.
Forgot to link it. But it’s important so I’ll link it now. LB caused some serious recon with 11:30 minutes.
17 April
Listening Day 10
5:30 LB 25sec RotNW 3:33 Phoenix
I wanted to play LB a bit longer somewhere in between 9 which was good and 11:30 with recon. But at 5:30 O suddenly knew it’s enough.
Yesterday was one of the most challenging days this year so far.
In the morning I drove to the airport to fetch my aunt. On the way, I took my mom to an outlet for shopping and myself to an asia market to get some basics to make Ramen.
The traffic was terrible. Aggressive drivers, heavy rain, and 20 minutes off standstill because a trucker had a heartattack and his truck blocked the whole road.
When we came home, I was tired from 4.5 hours driving. Then made some Ramen (which was delicious). When I left the kitchen for a moment, it suddenly clashed between my fiancee and mom again. It was brewing for a few days now, but I hoped I could defuse the situation, but no.
The tricky part about this was, that I had to leave immediately after their clash for work.
My shift went rather well besides two vapes I sold that didn’t work (according to the customer), and my boss was pissed that that’s 60 or her bucks going down the drain.
And my colleague that should check in with me at the end of my shift didn’t show up (she has the key to the gassation).
So until I reached her finally, It was way past 10pm and I left way later than I hoped for.
Coming home late and exhausted, I talked to my fiancee for another 2 hours to clear the situation at least on her end as good as possible.
And I think we made some good progress.
Went to bed at 1:30 woke up at 9. Tired but not exhausted or ailing.
No work until Saturday, so a lot of time to do other important things.
BTW, I had one really strange dream yesterday.
I dreamt that my loose tooth came out.
At first it was a normal tooth, than it looked like one of these jelly vampire set of teeth. And than it grew until it had the size of a flounder.
And I was just asking myself, how should it get this huge thing back in my mouth. It was hilarious 
19 April
Listening Day 11
KB2 15 min LB 15 min
Going with a boom again into my rest days.
Now I’m officially one week free from gaming. Considering that I spent over 100 hours in the first six weeks with Assassin’s Creed Valhalla that’s astonishing.
I didn’t even need will power.
It was rather that I was doing tasks like household chores, reading the book I bought on shamanic healing etc.
I’m guessing this is LB. The increased self worth now makes me do things that are actually good for me and my loved ones instead of numbing my senses with gaming.
Also LB, I introduced a dental care routine. I had cavities my hole life, a few teeth that just crumbled away etc. Now I’m doing what I know is best. Earlier this year, I almost lost one tooth when it got stuck on a gummy bear and was pulled out. Since then I have really sensitive gums. A bit swollen and easily bleeding.
So I started brushing them with CDS once or twice a day and the bleeding got much better already. I try to drink a banana milk with powdered eggshells everyday for recalcification. And to strengthen my jaw, gums and teeth in general I do a knitbown mouthwash at least once a day.
Let’s see how it works out.
Tomorrow starts my rest period.
After that, I’m pondering if I run another cycle of KB2 or if I should switch to stage 3 already after just one cycle.
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Rest day 1
One day since I listened to the full loops of KB2 and LB. No recon so far.
I was pretty productive compared to the weeks before. Nothing about money, but cleaning the house so that now almost everything is clean and tidy but my office. That’s gonna be my goal today if I can fit it in with my work.
Often when I listen to a dense stack, I notice that I need to pee a lot more, especially at night.
This night, I went to the toilet after I finished my work at 10pm, right before I went to bed around midnight and 4 times during the night.
Normaly I only need to go somewhere around 6am.
One of the supplements I take is methylene blue.
It’s powering up the mitochondria, cleaning the brain from residue and much more.
The most significant side effect is that it turnes your piss blue (that’s why it was developed further into Hydroxychloroquine which doesn’t do that) or emerald.
But on days with dense subs, I notice that the color is often white, despite the amount of methylene blue I take.
It’s important to understand, that the kidneys aren’t waste removers (like the liver) in the typical way, but rather they remove everything that is to much in your blood. They are a regulating organ. They try to keep steady levels of everything: minerals, sugar, and much more.
So if I pee white, it means there’s either to much water that thinned everything down, or the body used up everything that could be discarded.
Especially with the methylene blue. The residue in the glass is enough to give a deep blue color to the water when I rinse it out.
But there’s often not the slightest blue tone in my pee.
I didn’t notice anything like it before I started with subs.
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I used to eat as a coping mechanism.
It’s still there. Yesterday I demolished a whole can of Pringles.
But its getting less, just as with gaming.
Today I had breakfast, a small snack at lunch, a cringle at work and only a big meal in the evening. I didn’t have the desire to eat all day. I wasn’t hungry. That’s another great development.
I guess that’s LB as well.
On the other hand, I’m exhausted today. 5 busy hours at the gas station. When I came home, I hit the bed straight. No napping, just lying down, recovering a bit of energy.
I don’t think it’s from work.
My guess is, it’s me being tired from processing the subs.
I’m keeping up my dental routine as good as possible. But no banana milk today. To tired to make it. And I don’t want to drink to much so late. I don’t want to go to the toilet 4 times again tonight.
But it’s working pretty well. My teeth feel clean all day, even after eating they feel smooth and clean, no plaque.
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April is like a woman.
Last Sunday 28°C (82°F) today it’s snowing.
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What is CDS?