Lesson learned. No more high-loop counts for DR. Even if the reconciliation isn’t like the earlier episodes, the resistance to action is SO BAD. And I’ll be combining it with more action subs to see if that helps.
Take your time if needed, try not to rush, and like healing during workout, maybe you need to stay inactive for a bit until the recon dissolves enough.
How’s your mental well being? A bit better? Stack up on Sanguine, it’s weekend after all.
Doesn’t help. I wish it was name-embedded, Ultima+ format. Maybe then…
Sucks man. Bad feeling throughout the entire day and nobody’s even responding to messages or calls or anything
I fucking had enough of those moments that will last me a lifetime in the past. I getcha, man.
Seems like one is thrown alone to the trials, when you most need some outer interaction.
What about walking for a bit outside, distract yourself a bit. Take a small nap even, something like a hot bath. Write in a small book the reflections of that Dragon is giving you, you’re near a breakthrough man!
Yea, what is this? Is reality playing with us or something?
Yea…I feel like I waste so much time doing this
Sometimes I wonder, what the hell is DR tackling? I shudder at the fact that it’s touching stuff that I may not have verbalized before.
Would I have simply failed at life without DR?
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It’s weird, I know. Seems to maybe manifest a certain scenario where you have to confront your inner demon alone, and sucks we can’t have any support. You finish that trial, and all of the sudden everything comes back to life. Like some sort of Initiation ritual, I guess.
It can be considered a waste if it didn’t improve anything or brought any sort of value. Otherwise, you took care of your body by walking. And that shit’s healthy, therefore taking care of your own skin by doing something as little as that, counts.
That’s only a non-rational thought pattern backed up by recon. You obviously wouldn’t fail at life if you didn’t use DR. Hell, in a parallel universe where Dragon wasn’t released, you would done something different that improves your life.
Take a look to Man for Himself for Christ sake. Basically you molded your fate one manifestation at a time, bringing value to it everyday. If you kept that road like if nothing happened, how can you consider it failing?
You wouldn’t fail at life. Not a chance.
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Today has been a day of lessons. I’ve got to write about it.
This sounds like The Forge or something like it at work. @SubliminalUser your mind wouldn’t be throwing this at you if you weren’t ready for it. You got this man.
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Yea I guess so. Still, next time I’m not going over 3 loops a day, even on Friday. It just seems to become problematic after 3.
@RVconsultant I suppose that would have been a better way to go about things.
Instead, yesterday was a mess. I did so many different old practices which were reminiscent of days gone by. Even went to sleep past 2 AM on my own just because of some manga. That and more were things I stopped doing a long time ago. That reconciliation really got to me and I wasn’t able to handle it while maintaining all my quality habits. Love Bomb prototype yesterday made NO difference.
Waking up today, I didn’t get my 9 hours of sleep. This means there’s a possibility of more things to come. Darn it. Almost every weekend over the past month has been problematic in some form or another, and that’s partly because of the time left for processing (as these are rest days). It’s also because I’d see that and try to go heavy on loops on the preceding Friday, thinking it’s fine since I’m going to have 2 days off loops. Well, it’s not. If the reconciliation is that bad then I can’t do high loop counts of DR.
Sub playlist for next week:
- Action Ultima (choose from Executive, Commander, BLU).
- 3x DR ST2
Let this be a warning to all those new to DR: This sub is tough as hell. Probably the toughest sub I’ve ever run, because of its clear effects on my life. It’s true—my tone has changed so much from when I was in the middle of MFoH as @PurpleRT73 mentioned. It’s amazing how easy it is to forget.
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Idea…
Sub playlist for next week:
Action Ultima (choose from Executive, Commander, BLU)
1 loop of DR ST2 three times this weekWhoah what the…that’s a low count! Still…it’s strangely appealing.
The pain still lingers. Not as bad as yesterday, but it’s there. I’m going to stop watching a show I know is also provoking some of the thoughts and feelings. Sometimes I feel like “it’s hopeless.”
I’m thinking thoughts I never thought would occur.
I know the reconciliation is harsh. I’ve been going through it too.
I may give you a preview of a post I’m planning on presenting soon.
I made a Dream/Sleep Custom Ultima that is really helping with my sleep and with improved sleep, my reconciliation is less.
Dreams Ultima Core
Sanguine Ultima Core
Paragon Complete Ultima Core
Dream Traveler
Deep Sleep
I forgot to put it in Ultima B format, and perhaps I should have added Yggdrasil. But it works well for me. It’s made my reconciliation much easier to bear.
Also I made a Healing Booster. I figured that since Elixir was designed with Regeneration, I’d start with an Ultima with Elixir. Here is what I did:
Elixir Ultima Core
I AM
ARES
New Beginnings
Pride Unbroken
FEBRUUS
I put it in Ultima B format.
This has reduced my reconciliation by about 20 to 30%
Hang in there mate, and keep your dragon eyes on the dragon prize!
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@RVconsultant man, I think I’m going to have to extend the rest to more than just two days. I might just decide to not listen until Friday after work—so that would be 7 days after the last time I played DR.
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Oh, how I wish it would all end. I wish that I woke up and found out a signifcant portion of my life was just a dream.
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I’m with you on that.
It’s sad though!
I can’t accept it… instead of being grateful at this “thing” we call “life” that has showed me what being a “human” means.
I strive to understand what “I Am” about, and still all I can find is chaos…
Peace to you!
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I’ve had 2 sets of 10 or more days where I had no subliminals. That’s how harsh my reconciliation was with DR. I wished I could have turned it off. It was still going in my head during those rest days.
What helped get me through was focusing on the payoff. The eventual relief. I’m now experiencing that relief at times and the reconciliation is much less.
I had to go through lots of upsetting things to get through to get to this relief. It’s worth it!
At this point a lot of unpleasant things that had happened to me do feel like dreams. And those dreams are fading and making room for new dreams. Dreams I want to have.
I also got lots of sleep. That helped a lot. Oh and BBC comedies.