Two books that I’d requested through the library finally arrived. I collected on Tuesday and started reading Wednesday. One was about Astral Projection.
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Dude! I’ll be honest. I’ve basically given up trying to figure out some of the stupid shit going on in my subconscious. It made sense some how at one point, yet when it’s made conscious with DR’s process or magic… it’s just like “what the hell man?!”
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Right there with you. I think I’ve figured out that it’s a program or way of thinking that made sense at the time it was created based on my maturity level and information I had at the time. They just keep running in the background without me noticing as if life hadn’t changed until they’re brought to the forefront and analyzed though. That seems to be a lot of what DR does. At least the most noticeable thing.
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This is similar to my thinking mate!
The fuck. What the hell happened this week? It’s like someone turned everything inside out. Everything broke at my job for no fucking reason whatsoever. Every opportunity I got to rest from the chaos I just focused on a positive outcome and it only got worse. Finished off today, thank God. But I’m so done for the week.
A report didn’t print because the margins were set to 8.0001 instead of 8 and all our printers in the warehouse refused to print. Come on. That’s ridiculous. That’s like getting trolled by the universe.
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I find that since running DR that I occasionally have days like this. People start acting weird or slightly hostile towards me. Machines malfunction for no reason. Things get delayed randomly.
On days like that, I like to grab a German beer, shower, and watch some pre-1990s sci-fi movies.
Hang in there mate!
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That reminds me of the scene in Inception when they’re in the dream and people start getting aggressive the more the landscape is changed
Good to know it’s not just me. Feeling a bit nuts on DR at times. Like I’m purging inward stuff but it’s leaking out into my every day life.
I’m not running DR, but this week I had that exact experience. Well, it was a bit weird. On Wednesday, I had a day that felt almost laughably out-of-control and not working.
But at the same time, the internal things seemed to be having a meaningful good moment. Like it seemed that, at the same time 1) chaotic external events were happening at a heightened level and 2) beneficial internal opportunities were happening. Wednesday in particular. It felt like a very good day to stay hidden out at home.
I wondered what the heck was going on. But then just breathed thanks as I was able to say good bye to that day and move on.
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Exact same thing here. My job was an absolute dumpster fire, but I ended up releasing my first track on distrokid which was a huge step in starting to change my relationship with my music. I’m still having this internal battle of “is this really good enough for release?” but at the same time I’m really learning to just keep growing and move forward and to stop dwelling on all the things I’m not at this moment in time.
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I know that feeling. For me the next level up from that are the days I want to shower, go to bed, and hide under the covers until the next day.
That is a hysterical visual… as long as the dumpster is away from any buildings or other potentially flammable objects.
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Wait a minute. This just registered. You released your first track!
Hey man! Congratulations on taking that step. 
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Weekend was rough for me. I got inspired to make a Jungle track. Worked on it today and yesterday. But something about writing fully songs I still really struggle with. To be more specific it feels like I don’t know how to develop an idea. It usually goes one of two ways. I force myself to finish the song and it’s not terrible, but it feels like I should have added more to it. Or I have too many unrelated things in my track that don’t connect or I don’t know how to make it connect.
I’m getting better at finishing but sometimes I really don’t enjoy the process and it gets stressful. I honestly believe I just overthink everything. I’ll criticize myself for looping a chord progression, not enough variation in the rhythm, not enough variation overall, weak composition, etc.
Was listening to this guy, absolutely brilliant songwriter. Some people might not see the skill in this, but putting something together like this isn’t an easy task. This is what I mean about tracks feeling more like a journey and evolving. I still really struggle with that.
song structure.
Even in innovative contemporary forms, certain old principles are often still adhered to.
Establishing Theme - Abstraction of theme into alternate form - Elaboration of the alternate form - Reminder of Establishing Theme - Final union of alternate form and establishing theme - Ends with restatement of original theme.
There are other structures too of course. That’s just a common one.
That is a beautiful one by Sully. I have not listened to this kind of drum and bass for a while. This is a good way to return to it. So fucking liberating. So good.
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Not sure if I articulated that right. I have a bunch of theoretical knowledge for most of this stuff, there’s just a serious gap in applying it. I’m having trouble describing it. I’ve studied a lot of songs, watched track breakdowns to get a better idea, studio videos of producers I admire, but at the end of the day it doesn’t seem to be knowledge I’m lacking. Best way to describe it is it’s a very stuck, drained feeling. I can go up to a certain point with my music and then have trouble pushing beyond it.
But yeah Sully is amazing. He’s got plenty of other great tracks, this one has been on repeat for me for a while now. That Swandive track has so much character to it and a firm identity. He’s a great example of music being enhanced by the sound engineering. It never overshadows or gets in the way of the music like with some artists.
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Ah, it’s more about the process of it, than the concept. You are figuring out what you want to do. Not so much how it works as a general principle.
Is that more it?
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Yeah that’s definitely it. Like lets say I’ve got a pad I’m playing. Sounds good, maybe throw some drums down. Alright cool. Well it can’t just be drums and a pad, I mean it could but it would get boring very fast. So then my immediate thought is, “what else goes in here”? Then I’m just drawing a blank at all the infinite possibilities and sounds. So I think “maybe a pluck?” Well it works, but I don’t really want it I’m just putting it in there to have something else in the song. And then I just start thinking “how does anyone write music?” And then I get depressed because once again I find myself at a point where I know this song I’m going to finish is probably going to burn me out completely and I won’t go back to it so I have to get the bulk of it done. It’s always a compromise. Either I finish the song and don’t go as heavy into detail as I like or get stuck on the details, burn myself out, and then throw away the song because I’m sick of it.
This has been my writing process for close to 6 years now and a lot of tracks I work on get me to the point where I consider just not even making music at all anymore. I mean it’s not all of them but it makes me wonder if any other musicians go through this. I’ve gotten better over the years with it, but I’m not progressing as fast because of it. And what really bugs me is it always feels like I gave up on songs, they’re “finished” but I don’t consider them finished.
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You’ve heard of Billie Eilish, yes? I find watching interviews with her brother Finneas O’Connell about how he composes music to be enlightening.
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Indeed I have. I’ll have to give those a watch
Every so often DR just pokes at something that’s bothered me for years and it kind of brings it to the forefront. I’ve never been good with people. I like a lot of online interaction because you can engage or disengage from conversations and take time to collect thoughts and write. But you don’t have that luxury in face to face interactions. So I’ll often find myself worrying that as a conversation goes on or time spent together increases the person will slowly get tired of me or I’ll screw it up somehow. This is always on my mind when meeting new people, hell sometimes even among friends.
Do I identify with that and take it as the truth? Partially. My biggest issue with subliminals is understanding I can be so much more, but at the same time hitting these walls. I don’t feel like I can change it, but at the same time I’m trying to. It just seems like the more ambitious I try to be the more depressed I get as I struggle with the reality of where I am at the moment and where i want to be.
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