Night I just had was pure bliss. Dancing till 2. Karaoke on the street with randoms. A night with the bros and some guest stars peppered in throughout. Hell ya.
30s microloop of WB.
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I’m balancing two competing thoughts.
My partner and I agreed - I’m just not all that into marriage, I don’t value it.
No one had any hurt feelings about that.
But it makes me wonder… am I really anti-marriage? Or did she just have a very specific idea of marriage that I didn’t agree with?
Aka was I just anti-THAT-marriage?
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Ooooofff thats a tough one my guy. Me personally I am in the middle, like I am happy with meeting someone that I would consider my wife and leave it at that, or have a ceremony and leave the government out of it.
To also not wanting to ever get married at all haha
In the end I think its going to come down to the person I end up with.
IMO at least in American society people just dont know how to genuinely put effort into a relationship anymore. They tend to give up so fast on small fights or disagreements and hop back on dating sites, go to bars/clubs, etc. and that makes me question marriage all together, honestly even relationships in general. That however is something I need to work through.
Either way, it might be for different reasons, but I get where you’re coming from.
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Testing out G:AoH for science.
1 min.
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Looking to build a “Success Via Influence” Custom.
Please read and respond to it on the thread if you have any ideas or comments.
This won’t be something I build until mid-jan, so, this might becoming redundant or poorly timed depending on what EOG is like.
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I asked about the differences between a long run of Khan ST2 vs ST4 in support:
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So rushing straight to ST4 might not give the best outcome if you still need deep healing & preparation.
The best approach is to stick to one stage until you overcome the recon & reach the desirable outcome.
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We’re back 
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I wasn’t supposed to go to a meditation center to get a woman totally obsessed with me and then drive me home and make out with me (and more) in the back of her car for four hours, but…. Oops
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Reviewing Titles & Lessons
Some things are very clear now that I’ve integrated Khan, had a 12 day washout, and integrating the lessons from my first few weeks being single.
THE TL:DR - #1 decision about sex
I don’t want to run RoTNW, or WB, I want to run Divine Diamond, that is my ultimate expression of what I want sexually at the moment. Anything less than a divine-diamond-type sexual encounter is settling right now.
The Full Lessons
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Getting sex is easy. But being fully sexually satisfied as a way of life is difficult. It requires connection, trust, communication, adventure, integrity, authenticity, audacity, and so much more. Sex is NOT sexual satisfaction. And sexual satisfaction is NOT always sex. I have some relationships that are platonic that provide me more of a “hit” of feminine energy (which is very satisfying to my masculine) than my sexual relationships.
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Getting sex is easy. Getting sex while managing and maintaining a 100% relationship to your authentic self, maximal integrity, and unbreakable standards is of middling-difficulty. (Possible, but requires vigilance.)
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Getting sex is easy. Getting women to submit to your masculine frame and give to you 110% of their feminine energy is difficult, without shutting down or making themselves smaller, is more difficult. (As the Zan Perrion quote goes, I don’t want your consent, I want your joyful co-participation.)
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Getting sex is easy. Therefore, I’ll be going celibate, saved only in cases where the woman and I have an INTENSELY strong connection, and have talked about sex in detail before having it, and have talked about what our commitment/relationship will be after having it… and of course, this all needs to be done while maintaining my authenticy, integrity, and standards.
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Getting sex is easy. Therefore, the more masculine pursuit is chasing drive and passion.
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Getting sex is easy. Therefore, I won’t be running RoTNW or Wanted Black. If I want a sex title, I’ll only be running Divine Diamond, because, sex is easy, sexual satisfaction (physically, emotionally, spiritually) is harder.
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Zan Perrion at his best… wow…
“I don’t want a companion, I want an angel.
I don’t want to date, I want to revere.
I don’t want a casual encounter, I want an exquisite encounter.
I don’t want to fill some void, I want to step into a shared light.”
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Reflections on Revelation of Spirit (2021 to now)
Sharing this because the effects and insights of RoS (which I ran 7 loops of in 2021) are as dominant and present in my mind now as they were then.
The ideals of “purpose” were permanently and irreversibly revealed to me.
They’re still slowly unfolding. The golden threads of fate are still being unwound.
Or perhaps, this simple quote says it best…
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Khan ST2 has done wonders for my posture.
I could go into detail, but there’s no need. If you need a posture journey, just know, it worked for me and could work for you.
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Hmm… I find it easier to set goals on washouts.
This has been a pattern I’ve noticed MANY times. Anytime I have a 7+ day washout, I end up with total clarity on what direction I want to go in in life.
I guess the “competing voices” in my mind all unify and create an overarching vision.
This is good to know.
Need direction? 7 day washout
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AoH & DivD effect on dreams
4:20 AoH / 30s DivD
Well… they were very happy dreams. They featured my fiancée but only the best parts of her - no ill will or negativity charged with her in the dream.
Felt happier than normal on wake, and didn’t have the “20 more minutes” feeling that I normally do. Was much easier to jump out of bed, shower, and meditate.
thanks to Khan and meditation, i’ve made more progress than I ever have in my life in understanding and the link between my trauma of getting cheated on in high school and my later sexual anxieties.
boo hoo woe is me
I was dating a girl for about a year who would cheat on me, and then if I wanted to break up with her, would slash her wrists (cut herself) and threaten to kill herself. So I was stuck in the relationship. Then I was afraid of getting cheated on more, so I turned to “fucking her like a pornstar” in the hopes that I could have sex with her well enough to make her forget about other guys.
There’s a lot of trauma that resulted. If I ever performed less than “total pornstar quality” my whole body would flood with shame and sensations of dying - “she’s going to cheat on me now”…
I’ve been trying to understand the connection between my patterns and my past for 15 years, totally failed, and now I’m starting to understand, and not just understand, but WORK WITH IT.
Khan is amazing.
@WinglissStark thank you for your post - inspired me to reflect even more deeply.
Looking to add in Love Bomb later if needed - starting wth AoH at the moment.
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Welcome back, and Happy New Year.
So, is the stack Khan Stage 2 and AOH?
Today was DivD 30s and Paragon sleep 6min
@Azriel i decided to re-introduce my Chosen/IC custom
Wealth Wise:
- Chosen will balance out Khan aggression
- NWE will wealth-ify Khan further
- NWE will modify paragon sleep to be more oriented towards becoming a morning person
- IC/Job Seeker will help me find a new sales gig
- Chosen/Job Seeker will help me succeed at the office politics
- Chosen will help me on the sales calls
**Socially/Romantically:**
Results towards women have been god damn incredible. Women LOVE me. And I love women. But with every woman I date, woo, encounter, etc, I realize the only part of the interaction that I value right now is the friendship. When I turn it into romance or physical intimacy I regret it. So, my whole goal is finding women that I deeply connect with and keeping it 100% platonic. (Will revisit this in a few months or when it feels right.)
This is different than celibacy. I thought I was celibate. I’m not. I’m just not interested in serious dating and I’m not interested in casual dating. I do have a friend I’d sleep with rn, her and I are talking about it - she’s in an open relationship.
- You Are Not Alone will help me cultivate female friendships with a spiritual bend (I’m really deep into meditation/buddhism right now, and I want some amazing female friends generally)
- Chosen will desexualize the hypersexuality of Khan without reducing the sexual energy, it’ll just help me channel it better socially
- Light Of Humility will temper the Khan ego
- Light Of Humility + Achilles’ Heel address my biggest weaknesses generally, socially, in work, etc. I’m predicting more open socializing (especially with women manifested by YAN-Alone)
- Fenrir adds edge to Chosen plus helps me temper (use appropriately) the edge of Fenrir. @Friday said it made him nicer 95% of the time but made his anger a force to be reckoned with, when needed
- Chosen helps me embody the “positivity” of the meditation/buddhism crowd that I feel so connected to right now.
**Long Term Vision**
In the long term, I don’t want to stick in sales. I want to be in counseling, or coaching, or leadership. I love and am obsessed with the training and development of people’s wellbeing and proficiency at the soft skills.
- Chosen is great for counseling, leadership, coaching, men’s work facilitation, general compassion in friendships - all the things that make up the totality of my life and goals are enhanced by chosen. Tack NWE on to take care of the rest
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Stack will be Chosen/IC custom + Paragon Sleep for a few weeks till I stabilize into a job.
Will be running tiny loops of Divine Diamond once, maybe twice, a week. 30s to start the exposure.
Then once I have a job I like, I'll reintroduce ST2, and continue from there.
Or maybe ST1 - we’ll see how “friendships with women” goes.
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