Business(es) failing is not so much an external issue of not knowing how business works.
Its more an internal problem.
And I catch myself WHILE doing it but I can’t stop.
Anyone else had that feeling?
When you know I should NOT change the business around YET again, but you can’t stop.
This is why I committed to this healing retreat now.
The stack showed me the limits of my current reality, and literally told me I need to heal things first before proceeding.
Plus, LOTS of gratitude I am getting from Regen, and the feeling that I already live as a new being from Rebirth.
I do seem to have a much better flow factor ever since running RoM.
I was with my family at my mothers’ yesterday and her interacting with my son, it suddenly was BLINDINGLY obvious how she influenced my life and why I became the Nice Guy in the past.
Not allowed to make mistakes
No sign of love, only control
Constant scolding and control to do exactly as she pleases
THis is where I created the need for love and female validation that became a need for sex later in life.
It’s so obvious now lol
Now I am not mad at her, she probably got the same treatment growing up, we just give our traumas to our children, unless healed.
Which is why I am glad I found subs and the healing journey to at least remove a big chunk in favor of my children.
There is too much revelation in my mind to even write it down, but it explained SO MANY things I (still) do and did to myself, to my relationship(s), etc.
One thing I am still dealing with is to not skip steps.
Like, I KNOW I should focus on money issues and solving other relationship issues, as well as issues within myself first.
Yet, I find myself looking into metaphysics, “conspiracy” theories, and higher realms.
I don’t know how to keep myself focused on the immediate things before me.
It’s so MUNDANE.
I just don’t care about making money. I wanna create impact.
Which is not to say that those are mutually exclusive. In fact, I’d say you ONLY make money (in big numbers) if you create impact.
But the tedious stuff involved in this (like taxes, learning sales, copywriting, etc) is so annoying.
It’s a lot easier to get lost in metaphysical and higher realm stuff. I find the open ended nature of it gives a lot of freedom for interpretation. But it’s not always practical unless it ties in with where you’re currently at in your own personal reality. To me it can sort of be like another form of escapism, like getting lost in a movie or something. It’s still fantasy if it doesn’t come back to the here and now.
True. I guess the difference I’m trying to illustrate is that most people won’t try to ascertain divine wisdom from a cloud. Or maybe they would, not sure.
Unless there’s access to undistorted sources of information on this stuff, it’s easy to start thinking you’re on to something. When really it’s like that game of telephone where a message passed down gradually loses the original meaning. I find it really hard to trust easily accessible forms of information on metaphysics and spirituality.
I think the original is just as distorted as the copies.
To me, cosmic wisdom involves walking to the edge of That Which Is Known and, despite the fear of being there, sitting down and having a look; having a feel.
What you experience will, by definition, be beyond words. That’s actually the whole point: To experience that which is beyond words.
As you return from the edge of the known, and travel back within the cloistered interior of The Known, you will have been changed by the journey. Others may ask you what happened, and as you struggle to translate your non-experience/experience into words, some people will get very excited, and will wish to believe that your words somehow can substitute for the experience/non-experience. (Spoiler alert: they can’t.)
Then some people will argue with other people about what your non-words really were saying about your non-experience. If they keep it up long enough, congrats, we’ve got another religion.
But the real crux of the matter is in taking that journey to the Edge of the Known, living to tell the tale, and returning to be among people again afterwards.
Add to this the fundamental moral and ethical doctrine: Be Thou Not An Asshole; and you’ve pretty much got a spiritual path.
The realization you gain from spirituality, conspiracy, or ANY higher realms that money is fucking pointless.
I don’t hate it, but it has no use other than buying us things on this plane that have no use either.
We could live just fine by growing our own food on our garden.
However, I DO realize that we don’t LIVE in such a world. We live in one where it is NECESSARY and even GREAT to make a lot of money because it buys certain freedoms (note, I didn’t say it buys FREEDOM itself )
And this is where it gets tough for my soul to work through the irrelevant, basic details of it
Alex I just wanted to thank you. I can’t send a PM right now, I wanted to write here if you don’t mind. thank you, I saw this place through your site. I don’t have the money to buy a sub right now(except for the free ones ), but thank you for helping me get here.
This journal will be closed, and I’ll start a new one.
Why?
Well, as you can tell by the initial “SAL VATION” custom title for CFW, it was heavily influenced by religious means, specifically Christianity. Which I don’t consider myself but due to material I became more believing in Jesus again.
Only NOW to come across material that kicks it all to the curb SO HARD, I’ve been on a cleansing spree of my whole life lol
I am not aiming to attack anyone’s faith, you do you. This is my personal journey.
I was raised strictly catholic (cathodic), but I now realize after getting back into it a little bit that this is usually how my progress goes.
I get deeper into a topic, before I hit a vantage point of realizing how all of it does NOT fit me in any sense.
I underwent a similar realization with money, and also currently with sex itself, as well as magick, which I learned was more satanic that I thought lol
I know this is all very cryptic, but again, it helps my personal catharsis.
Plus, since the initial stack is not correct anymore, and this will keep happening since I developed a healthy habit with switching subs (more of that in the new journal) I will just name with nothing special in mind.
)
), but thank you for helping me get here.