-
I ran a loop of RICH this morning.
-
This afternoon, the car broke down so I couldn’t make it to one of the overtime shifts I’d manifested. We got it paid for and had free towing so it’s not costing much re than a shift of overtime.
2 Likes
There’s RICH doing it work lol enjoy yourself with RICH
2 Likes
-
We got the car issue taken care of this morning. It turns out that it’s a really good thing we just shut it down and got the free tow from our insurance company instead of trying to drive it to the shop. My assessment of the problem was partly correct, and driving it to the shop could have caused a lot more damage.
It wasn’t exactly what I thought. It was a supporting part that effects what I thought it was, and it was a lot cheaper to fix than I’d anticipated. Family paid for it, and insisted that we get a brake job that we’d need soon while we were at it. All was done before I had to go to work, so I really am just out an OT shift and a short Uber ride. -
I talked to my attorney and found out that the lawsuit against the wife doesn’t have the horrific potential consequences that I thought it did. He’s currently working to get us an ideal solution as well.
-
This is an example of something thats been happening since I really started on subs that have a heavy manifestation component. A series of what seem like major disasters will pop up, but then an equity unlikely solution, or at least way of mitigating the damage will show up as well.
I have a theory about that. The sub helps tap into my manifestation ability, and that allows me to manifest better in general. Throughout this process, there has still been some negative thinking hiding under the surface, so that manifests stuff as well as the positive. The positive side which has the help of the subs, and is becoming more and more dominant fights back and gives me solutions so that the negative manifestations don’t actually do any damage.
This time is distinctly different from previous ones though because I don’t feel the massive stress I have before, and really wasn’t seeing it ending extremely badly. Matter of fact, I just kind of knew we’d find a way through and was just kind of annoyed. Like, “This again.”.
3 Likes
Ive also notice this a lot lately, RICH seem to be the one doing this for me lol
2 Likes
-
I had a very odd dream. I somehow found myself going to West Point at my current age. I was of course expecting it to be very militaristic (duh) but when I got there it wasn’t. I don’t remember much more about it.
No idea why I’d dream about that. I have never considered going there in my life. More like realized that trying to would be a complete waste of time by the time I was considering college.
I have read a few books about it and the accomplishments of people who went there over the years, but don’t feel any particular connection to the place. -
The wife and I cooked dinner tonight. Even though she was having a rough time of it with her symptoms, she didn’t take it out on me. It’s not quite a first, but lately I can tell that shes making a huge effort not to use me as an emotional punching bag.
1 Like
- Sometime last week I mentioned that I had been concerned that my dominant body language was slipping since I switched DE to Qv2. That was until I realized that it wasn’t, that was just the way I move without thinking about it now.
I noticed that it was especially good tonight, I walk around like I own the place now. It’s different now though, I actually feel like a guy who naturally moves that way. It’s not as stiff as it was while I was thinking about it, I’m very upright boy also very relaxed, and am moving a bit slower. I feel like I’m surveying my domain.
2 Likes
**Stage 2 Cycle 2 Week 1**
-
I’m halfway through Stage two. I’ve got this weird sense that it seems like that was incredibly fast, and like I’ve been on The Dragon for a lot longer than the eighteen weeks that I have. I have noticed that the focus of my insights and thoughts have shifted from the circumstances that caused my mental blocks and created my self sabotage system to exactly how that system works and how to dismantle it. This tells me that the trauma is largely handled, the negative thought patterns are mostly erased, the residual feelings processed, and now I can focus on changing the thinking and behavior patterns that they caused.
DR seems to work from the inside out that way. Stage one rooted out the thought patterns and negative things that I held to be true, made the reasons I had them crystal clear, and showed me that they are no longer applicable or were complete bullshit from the get go.
Stage two kept doing that and began to deal with the feelings that those things caused. Now it’s getting to the behavior patterns that those feelings cause.
For example, it’s come to my attention that I avoid checking on things that show me how bad our financial situation is because I’m afraid it will be worse than I can deal with. That leaves it undealt with and naturally the situation gets worse the longer I do that. -
I got a mental flash today about how I used to think as a teenager. It really hit me how negative I used to be. There was no pain in that. I think my mind just did that to show me how far I’ve really come.
-
I read in a few other DR journals that people are getting a feeling of “blankness”. That’s a good way to describe this. I still have no sense of the future. In other words, I always had some goal in mind that I was just about to get to, and then life would be good. That’s gone away on DE. I figured out why.
Because those goals weren’t really something I was driving toward. They were means of escaping some aspect of where I am now. (whenever now was, been doing this all my life) I was trying to run away from something and the things I was running towards were just what I saw as escape routes. Those aren’t real goals, and that’s not real ambition.
I wanted into a certain career because I thought it would provide escape from feelings of weaknesses and inadequacy. I wanted money because it would provide an escape from the stress of our financial troubles. And so on.
Now, I’m facing my crap and changing it. That will allow me to focus on what I DO want in the future.
4 Likes
That was an encouraging read. Thank you for posting this.
3 Likes
Encouraging indeed, i won’t be using dragon reborn for awhile sadly
2 Likes
-
When I got up this morning, I saw that I have another interview for a job I applied to. It’s on Friday, so I’ll be switching my Ultima back to Oral Board U till then. That kicked so much ass last time that I’m sure that it’ll get me one of these jobs. If not this one then another at the right place and time.
-
V2 still feels different. Or maybe I’ve just reached a different point in my journey. I’m not getting crazy insights and whatnot every day. I feel a lot more focused on just living my life than figuring things about myself out. When they hit they’re amazing, but the constant stream seems to be gone.
There is definitely a sense of something going on under the surface though.
2 Likes
- I’ve been thinking more about what I realized last night about the blank feeling. It’s weird. I lived for so long being absolutely desperate to GET OUT of right where I was that I didn’t even realize that’s what was going on. I didn’t realize until now that has been mostly if not completely relieved. It wasn’t sudden, but it’s been going on the whole time I’ve been on DE. Now, as far as I can tell, it’s gone.
I used to feel stuck in any situation I was in. I remember that as I was trying to level up from my corrections job and I just wasn’t getting anything I had a recurring mental image. I saw myself as an insect trapped in a jar and ramming itself against the sides as hard as I could in a desperate attempt to escape.
Every job and other life situation I found myself in for very long felt like that. I would start to feel trapped and just want to GET OUT very quickly after making any kind of change. I’d feel it as soon as the situation became my “new normal”.
This was a great example of the inner world creating the outer world, or at least my perception of it. I simply created life situations that I felt trapped in and desperate to escape because I was desperate to escape things in my own mind, and of course couldn’t.
Where did this come from? Well, that’s another thing that branches off from my early childhood I think.
It comes down to the extreme stress I was placed under as a very young child, and a pervasive sense that I didn’t have the power to change the situations that caused it. Which naturally I didn’t. I was a little kid.
The stress came from a stew of things that I’ve touched on before. My father’s life falling apart, constant fear that he was going to kill himself, being singled out and tormented in school from day one of kindergarten because I was “weird”, being treated like crap by parents too lost in their own mental problems not to.
These were all things that a child’s mind is nowhere near ready to handle, and also that I couldn’t do a fucking thing about. Having no power to change something that you can’t deal with leaves one option. Escape.
Of course, I couldn’t physically escape. So I created a fantasy world and escaped into that as much as I could.
That sense that my current life is intolerable and the need to escape though. That stayed with me and caused a great many of my negative behavior patterns.
I only recognize it now because it’s gone.
4 Likes
- I had a talk with my wife today about her MS and some related subjects. I actually said a few things that have been on my mind and I would never have said before. That is that she more or less given up and doesn’t seem willing to do anything that might make things better. She didn’t like that, but she got more sad than mad about it. I don’t think that the MS is so much the cause of the behaviors I’m concerned about as it is depression.
I’m going to design an anti MS custom for her. She’s not getting that much improvement out of Paragon, but a lot of her symptoms improved on a pre Q version of QL stage 1. I think I’ll start with that. Open to suggestions after that.
3 Likes
better than not addressing it. proud of you and her both brother
1 Like
First I’m with @Palpatine, I’m happy for you and proud of you man!
This is a huge step I think for you and her.
Now…
I’m going to ask you to please set up an account for her when you do this rather than doing this from your account.
Off the top of my head:
I’d look at anything nervous system related. Maybe even Paragon Complete chucked in.
However I also realize you might know more about this than me.
Also I wonder if @BLACKICE might have some thoughts about what to put in there.
Thanks for the tag! 
For subs, @RVconsultant has already said pretty much what I’d say. Nervous system and Paragon. I’d also look at Harmonic Singularity, and if there’s anything else relating to detoxing?
In addition to that… Terry Wahls will be your best friend. Her anti-MS protocol is fantastic.
There are many supplements that can help as well. I’m fortunate enough to not be dealing with MS, nor do I have any family members who are, but I have read up on it as part of a general study for my day job.
In addition to following the Wahls protocol explicitly, I’d look at 2 main areas. Supplements & adjuvents that
- promote cellular autophagy and mitophagy (killing off senescent cells)
- promote cellular energy production/mitochondrial production
For my general anti-aging stack, I use medium to high doses of ubquinol and PQQ for mitochondria boosting, along with red/NIR light therapy, and a senolytic stack from Life Extension that helps kill off senescent cells and promote autophagy.
I’m not a doctor (I’m an engineer actually) so this isn’t medical advice, just me sharing what I’d do (and in this case, what I actually do). I hope it helps!
Edit: While I appreciate that the title and subject might not be for everyone, I would also highly recommend Grow A New Body by Alberto Villoldo, as well as Power Up Your Brain, also by Villoldo and co-authored with Dr. David Perlmutter.
2 Likes
- I had another dream just before I woke up. The wife and I were at some kind of event at some university. It was a very urban environment and nowhere I’ve actually been. I was talking to one of the campus cops when was a friend in the dream.
As we left, I ran a red light. Deliberately. Like, I thought, nah, I don’t need to stop here. No idea why I thought and did that, it would be very atypical of me.
Of course I got pulled over. When the cop walked up, it was my friend. He said something like “man, sorry, I didn’t know it was you until I ran the plate”. I got the impression that he was going to have to give me a ticket because he had already run the place.
2 Likes
Sure. Though wouldn’t a custom for her be useless to me because it’s imbedded with her name?
I thought we weren’t supposed to put Ultima cores in a Q custom. I was going to base it around QL stage one. I’ve had her on the pre Q version of that when I first started with Subclub and a few of her symptoms just disappeared.
1 Like
Thanks for responding. We bought her book. I think it was on your suggestion. The diet she recommends is too radical for the wife. Not to mention too expensive for us at the moment. Its going to have to be subs and maybe supplements, at least until she gets over the hopelessness enough to take that kind of radical action.
Part of our conversation was that she is “accepting the reality” that she is never going to get better (aka giving up). Until (unless) she gets past that, she’s not going to take any action that is difficult or causes her discomfort.
For my part, I have to accept that I can’t control her attitude or response to this. She’ll only do what she feels like doing.
1 Like
this is where SLOM comes in handy. Robert DIlts used it with his mom to help her shift her beliefs about her cancer and being willing/able to fight it. She got something like 7 extra years of productive life where before she was just ready to “give up” and “accept her fate”
It’s a bit restrictive, but that’s the price for changing your lifestyle to fix an illness.
My mother considers my diet (keto-leaning paleo, with strict keto periods when I want to shed some fat etc) too restrictive, and even though she has type 2 diabetes and is at high risk for multiple things, she won’t even consider giving up carbs for a couple of weeks to see how she feels.
Strict fasting is another approach I’d consider trying, as that both lowers insulin and promotes autophagy, which aid in healing. Plus by default, it’s avoiding any foods that may be exacerbating symptomns (certain wheat or dairy proteins, for example)
And… fasting is 100% free. 
2 Likes