William’s Winning Wayfare

Journals - Major Programs
#1618

The thing about loss and abundance is that they’re closely connected. What does abundance mean if you can’t loose it? If it’s gone without you feeling the loss it’s not real abundance. Not when it’s about persons.
It’s only painless when you don’t really care.
When you loose someone close to your heart, it’s supposed to hurt. I’ve lost a lot of good friends over the decades. And it was always a painfully process at the time. Now, looking back, I can cherish the memories. But at the time it was like loosing a limb.

This isn’t meant as describing you as cold or heartless. In my experience this is the result of a serious loss in the past and the subconscious decided not to let anyone get so close again that their loss can cause that level of pain again.

And WB tackles this topic in its way. To allow for real abundance in your life.

One of my favorite quotes from Frankl is “He who has a why survives any how”.
He wrote this after witnessing strong man die in the concentration camps and small, fragile man survived.
Did you read the book you quoted or just the quote? If not, I can highly recommend his works.

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#1619

I feel like you’re about to have a breakthrough

Your posts are reminding me of that mourning feeling we get sometimes during reconciliation

Not saying that’s what you’re going through but it did remind me of that

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#1620

I’m not sure myself either.

In theory, i know i should feel bad when i lose my close connections, but when it actually happens, it’s not as bad as i thought it was going to be. I felt bad but it didn’t linger for long nor did it impair me.

I also ran LBFH for a year total. You’ve read my journal about it. If anything, I’m more willing to open up and let people into my life after i ran it. It’s even more effective at that than WB.

Yet I got no recon from it.

If fear of letting people into my life is the culprit, i’d have had severe recon from LBFH. the sub that taught me the deeper value of healthy attachment. But i got none.

That’s why the connection to my fear of losing control of myself makes more sense to me than fear of losing others. As it lines up with everything I’ve been experiencing with the recon from WB for all the 8 months total that i’ve been using it.

I got it from a random facebook post years ago when facebook was still relevant, rofl.
I didn’t even know he write books, i’m gonna check them out when i have the time.

Discussing this with you helped me figure out wtf caused the recon, i really appreciate it. While this might not be the whole picture, it is a huge clue to start with.

I get you. Everything is connecting at last.
It’s very clear now what caused the recon and what steps i could take.

The breakthrough is near.

3 Likes
#1621

Viktor Frankl is one of the four fathers of modern psychotherapy. One of my professors sub summarized them the following way:

  1. Sigmund Freud: The Will to Lust
  2. Adolf Adler: The Will to Power
  3. Viktor Frankel: The Will to Meaning
  4. C.G. Jung: The Will to Wholeness

And as you could guess, he wrote a lot about psychology and the meaning in life.

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The Conqueror’s Bliss: Prelude
#1622

I only know freud and jung. That’s 2 new names into my want to read list.

That’s interesting, if I describe my focus in life, it is mostly about meaning and fulfilment.
That’s why I’m captivated with HeO, it’s tackling many points in my life that result in meaningful fulfilment. The mastery, virtues, and the indirect ones caused by them.

If viktor is one of the four, i bet i can get some valuable things from his books.

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#1624

Saint recommended to start over with microloops if you are planning this schedule. But if you are starting with 1 sub, I don’t know if it’s related to you. Just a heads up

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#1625

Absolutely.
The next listening day in my schedule is 3s regardless of how I fare today.

I doubt using 15m once at the start of the cycle is gonna carry a bad effect throughout the 2 months.

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#1626

EE 3s

WB’s effects are fading off gradually.
I feel peaceful. Being able to lock in and focus feels blissful in its own way, especially with EE’s influence.

No recon from 15m of EE this time. I guess the recon back then when I used full loops of it was just from having 3 subs in my stack, or the recon has been resolved by the time I used it again a few days ago.

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#1628

I had the opposite since adding EE. I wonder if it’s kind of EE recon for you?

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#1631

*Edit: i accidentally deleted the comment above this. The significant decrease was because i started to solo EE with no sex sub in the stack anymore. The decrease is closer to the baseline before the sex sub than a dip bellow it.

EE 9s

Everything feels much more possible.

I thought this was because of a hidden recon getting lifted off once i stopped DRR3 for a while, but it is getting stronger and stronger.

I’m convinced now that it’s one of EE’s effects.

The key to unlock the next level of productivity is to be able to notice the possibility of it in the first place.

As always, i knew it’s possible, but the depth of it is better with sub.
I also notice subtly more motivation coming from what i can achieve in the future.

It seems microloops of <10s work with EE too.
The 15m half a month ago could have influenced this, but it should have died down by now instead if that were the case. The way it’s getting stronger by the day means it’s from the microloops.

This time, i’m using EE without another sub, so i can cross out the possibility that <10s of EE works only because it’s hijacking the scripting of other subs. It’s achieving this on its own.

<10s being this strong is kinda ridiculous, but I can’t say no to good results, lol.

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#1634

Can absolutely confirm this. Back when I was dancing 5-7 days a week, you could obviously see the smoothnees, the swagger whatever in my movement. How I placed my feet, how I was sidestepping people in the supermarket. Lol, I even used spins on the street because it was so natural.

At the same time I had a certain gravitas from swordfighting.

And ballet is a beautiful art of dancing. Can you still learn it as an adult male where you’re living?
At least here, I only know if classes for children.

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#1635

I’m not sure either.

I just got the idea then followed some youtube tutorials. I wanna see how i like it first before jumping straight into a class.

My goal is to drill it so much that it starts to influence my movement’s accent. So I’ll most likely stick with the basics for now & do it in long repetition like doing qigong.

#1636

I did an introspection.

It seems self forgiveness has a part to do with the “possibility” theme I got from EE.
DRR3 is the perfect sub to elevate this. I’m very cautious with this cycle since i’m using the new 2 month one, but maybe if i keep DRR3 under 10s it won’t give me any significant adverse effect.

I’ll try it.

Women have cycles every month, many say it affect them differently throughout.

Do men have it too? Just because we don’t bleed doesn’t mean it’s conclusive that we don’t have any. If we do, how can i use it to further my productivity? What about yearly cycles through seasons?

The things my brain does when it’s supposed to meditate instead, lol. Maybe there’s something to this though, i’m gonna keep it at the back of my mind.

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#1637

According to my fiancee, men’s cycles last 24h instead of 28 days. There seems to be a scientific consensus about this, although I never did my own research on this topic.

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#1638

She might be right.

If women cycle is connected to the lunar cycle of 28 days, the moon being considered a feminine energy being, then the masculine counterpart is the sun which has a 24h cycle.

Another small piece that confirms this idea of 24h men cycle is the fact that feminine archetype is considered slow(and soft) moving as opposed to the masculine which is fast (and hard).

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#1639

The 24 hour cycle is called circadian rhythm and affects males as well as females.

If you want something comparable to the female menstrual cycle in males it would be spermatogenesis, where one cycle is between 72-74 days (tritium-labelled biopsies) and 120 days (DNA clock measurements).

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#1640

Very interesting. I’ll keep the tabs open so I can read them when I’m free.

Unrelated to the cycles, but i’ve been noticing that i’ve been embracing the feminine side more often lately. I think the subs are teaching me to use broader perspectives so I can use them to further my goals.

I’ve been thinking about this.
While I believe my problem with full loop of WB was different than this, i don’t want to throw this away just yet. i’m still curious if there’s a part of me that subconsciously blocks me from noticing this.

I might have found something.
When I get busy, i often cut out connection with people. This is natural, but the more i think about it, the more i think that there could be time where i cut out because of this and use “busyness” as a cover.

Not conclusive yet, but I’m still keeping an eye on this. The break I take from WB + the focus from EE is bringing the contrast & clarity forward. I might gonna find something useful that I’m not aware of yet.

2 Likes
#1642

Yeah, WB is going back into the stack, at least for now.

The temptation is just too strong. Seeing what life is like with and without it once you’ve tasted the sub is… WB is just too appealing.

Unless I lock myself in a room without any connection outside and just be productive, WB will work.
It doesn’t matter if it’s just a simple stroll to the local bakery or to a cafe, it will work.

I guess I just can’t lie to the sub.
I want the focus and fulfilment of working, but deep down I also want this part in my life.

As for possibly overloading myself because I’m using the 2 month cycle without a sub that has the antirecon scripting, we’ll cross the bridge when we get to it, lol.

I’ll be sensible and keep everything below 30s though. I’m taking enough risk as is.

–

I’ve been experimenting with a new skincare routine too.

I looked at the ingredients of almost every skincare product in the aisle, and one ingredient stands out as it’s almost always included: aloe vera.

Now I’m experimenting with using only that. Aloe vera. The raw plant.
I found out that store bought aloe vera stinks and stings, so I got the real plant, cut it fresh and apply it to my skin after a shower, wait for 10 minutes, then rinse it off.

So far, it has been better than the normal routine I do.

My skin is reacting well to it. it feels smoother, more supple, and not as dry.
My theory is that, because it’s dirt cheap, I’m less reserved in applying it to my body.
Maybe the volume is the key and I should have used more of the products I did back then, or maybe using aloe vera alone is the key for my skin in particular.

It hasn’t been long since I started this though, I’ll keep an eye on how it’s going.

My view started to switch from “I only have 16 hours in a day” to “I know I can manage to do this”.
EE’s results is helping me with that too. This is truly the “possibility” sub. The self forgiveness part is helping me adapt to it too.

3 Likes
Main Disc. Thread - Emperor: The Executive (Now Available!)
#1643

WB’s social guidance is back at almost full force.
I’m gonna sound like a broken record, but I gotta say, seeing the difference between when I had it vs when I didn’t have it as strongly in my break from WB really gave me better clarity on what to do.

I’m not sure about others, but this “break from a sub after a few cycles” has proven itself useful again and again for me. Getting the contrast between when I have and when I don’t is really valuable in gaining clarity.

That being said, I don’t think it’s necessary for every sub. A break from DRR didn’t give me the same clarity because I already have a good understanding of what to do under the sub. It’s more useful for subs that are still kind of a mystery in one way or another.

In the last break, I used it to solo EE. In the next one, I’ll be able to sneak in HeO.

Also, 4s is sufficient. Maybe my long experience with WB & LBFH makes it enough for me to just have a small nudge to get everything rolling again.

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#1644

I noticed that my stress level has lowered quite a lot.

EE soothes while allowing me to do more through its various effects.

I didn’t expect much yet, but <15s of EE is powerful enough to give me such results.

I know i can use more, but I’m not losing much by microlooping either. Looks like being vigilant to not overexpose with the 2 month schedule won’t leave me short of results.

1 Like
Main Disc. Thread - Emperor: The Executive (Now Available!)