To the best of Chase

Finally I have a journal in this section lol My high bit rate custom is not here yet but I can’t keep myself away from here :joy:

The cores of my custom are Limit Destroyer and Stark, and it has just slightly more than 10 modules.

When choosing the core I thought about Emperor since it did give me inner strength and certain grounding but at the end I went with Stark as I chose external effects over internal effects.

Stark works no denial and indeed it works quite naturally. I am more talkative irl and take part in the forum more. It is ironic that I am actually being more helpful on Stark than on Chosen given the objectives of them. Chosen made me wanna cut off myself from the world and focus on the intangible. Stark makes me extrovert and more willing to talk about my mind.

Limit Destroyer works without recon, it is straightforward and the concept of it is what I need.

For a long time I saw posts done by users Malkuth, Lion, Simon, Billions etc. as standard. I felt like anything less than those were not worth typing out since my posts added little to no value compared to theirs. But slowly I don’t think like this any more. I no longer overthink before or while I make a post. I am writing and participating in a way that is to the best of my ability and that shouldn’t be something to be ashamed of. Every little thing counts.

I had been looking for a album pic for the custom. In the past I would look for characters, be it real life or fictional, to represent who I wanted to be/as my role model. It’s different this time. While I was looking up pictures the thought I don’t feel like being anyone anymore. I just wanna be the best version of myself. came up of nowhere and I felt that thought. I found a beautiful inanimate pic that resonated in the first sight.

More will be revealed when the custom arrives :grin:

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As much as am honored by this sentiment, my hope is that we inspire you to speak your mind no matter what it is.

And am glad this is so. Being the best you can be not only guides you to maximise your full potential but also inspires others to do so.

Here’s to thrill of The Chase! Pun intended.

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Thank you :grin:here is what you said :beers:

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Thank you, I feel the same way, but I keep plugging at it really working on getting better at writing. I now realize maybe no one will find my journals interesting but journal writing leads to my healing and better assimilation of subs.

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Thank you brother for getting the feeling :hugs: let’s be not interesting but persistent together :stuck_out_tongue_winking_eye:

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@DarkPhilosopher
I saw your post in the other thread and wanna let you know I am interested in talking more about it on top of the previous conversation we had. That thread has run its course and let’s have discussion here instead.

I asked

And you were gonna share more about control vs non-attachment.

Also to answer your question

I can’t answer that in a rational way but from esoteric teaching and my experience, when one goes with the flow (no forcing), things go smoothly (the universe conspiracies for you in tiktok language).

About your quote

I raise you If you don’t know where you’re going any road will get you there. lol

About taking action, I wanna share an example. I used to follow a method that was meant to improve meditation. It went like this - You think of all the things that bother you and put them in a box/chest/safe etc. and close them. Then you make noise in your throat for a couple mins. After these two steps you can meditate. The thing was the mere step of putting the things that bothered me into the box meant that I had to recall the things that bother me and that alone further stressed me (especially the more issues I recalled). What I am trying to say is negative belief finds its way in everything, even when taking action.

I am not writing this to discard taking action, in fact the opposite. My question is how to take right action/what is the right action to take to tackle negative belief when everything said and done remind one about it?

Edit: kinda running in circle but the essence of my questions could be who can say for sure the desire/action we have/take is best for us in the end?

I got my high bit rate custom! :tada: :partying_face:

I was planning to listen to it solo for at least a couple of months before adding a second sub but feel like Love Bomb for Humanity is calling me; the description hits me the right way. Maybe I will listen to 3 mins of it every other on day to keep the custom as the main focus while enjoying the pure love, and to better distinguish their effects.

:point_left: My new profile pic is the album art I felt just right at the first sight. On top of the beautiful colors, to me it represents multiverse, possibilities, choices; it is never too late to be better, and to dream and believe and see the nice things in life.

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Decided to run the custom solo for a few on days before adding LBFH to better sense the effects of the custom.

Ran one full loop of the custom ultrasonic ver. It is too early to tell but I meditated easier and deeper with it. I feel that it’s got to do with the high bit rate and the new balanced primer.

Have been following the open bounty ways to deal with recon for awhile. For me it seems drink more water>eat sweets>sunbathing. Nowadays whenever i feel anxious or negative thoughts begin to rear its head I drink a glass of water. Have to be careful though cause there were a few days when I drank too much and flashed out vitamins, e.g. the more water drank the drier the mouth.

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Finally got to listen to LBFH; 5 mins each of it and the custom.

LBFH indeed enhanced sexual energy. I was already feeling slight increase of sexual energy for the past week or so but it tipped the scale; spent an hour or so looking up porn and fapped :woozy_face:

No use shifting the blame to the sub, it’s me who let it happen. Since I am acting like a child I treat myself as one, I set all server filters to safesearch and adult content blocking.

I am wondering if the relapse was an expression of self sabotaging. For the past couple of days I’ve had a resistance towards LBFH, I didn’t feel like listening to it (still don’t in a way). I can’t pinpoint exactly what but I feel that it’s more than me wanna focus on my custom. Am I afraid that it would make me soft? Am I afraid to go through the healing process? Am I so used to negativity to the point that I am afraid to find out/feel what love is?

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Taking more rest days as I am giving my mind more time to process the subs. Will focus on custom solo, possibly 5 or 7 mins for awhile before considering adding another sub.

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What is your custom, I do not see it here.

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Oops here it is.

Modules
  1. Limit Destroyer
  2. Stark
  3. Wealth Limit Destroyer
  4. The Way of ROI
  5. Fenrir
  6. True Sell module
  7. Lion IV
  8. Furious Ascent
  9. Ebon Maneuver
  10. ARES
  11. Iron Frame
  12. Omnidimensional

So far I noticed that I am more extrovert (Stark), less overthinking (Lion IV). Occasionally my heart pounds out of nowhere, e.g. anxious, (ARES and/or Limit Destroyer).

This custom is built with the aim for bringing out/building a much better version of me - more brave, more self mastery, more free thinking and acting. I let go many modules as I aimed to make it as light as possible so that it be processed smoothly.

I am planning to run it for at least three months.

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Lovely custom I must say.

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Thanks man. I am glad that the new module pack doesn’t have module(s) that fits my custom (except maybe Last Stand but it’s not a must in anyway). This further makes me sure that the custom will be safely kept for the next few months lol

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Followed @Dragon-Lesson’s method on finding the right listening length. Meditated while listening to my custom, let my mind absorb it until my mind wandered. The result was 4mins 57secs, I made it 5 mins.

Externally I can’t tell the expression of some modules but in my meditation Lion IV, ARES and Limit Destroyer stood out, literally. The mental image was first a 3D bar chart where the aforementioned three modules were far higher than the others.

Then as soon as I thought about wanting other modules working the mental image turned into a close shot of assembling components of a spiral shape tool/machine.

This image revealed to me that other modules are working in the background 24/7 non stop, which I intuitively I felt due to Omnidimensional. They intertwine with each other, build themselves up into something in me.

It seems this custom has an energizing effect; I listened to it before bedtime and ended up staying up late. I will listen to it one more time to see if it is the case. If yes I may have to move it in the morning even though I much prefer nighttime.

Another effect of it is I don’t feel like visiting the forum and if I do visit I lost interest making a post. It’s like I am getting indifferent. This happened suddenly, can’t tell if it’s recon or it’s the rightful expression of certain modules.

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My listening schedule has been day on 15mins, day off, 3mins, day off, and repeat. So far this seems to be working fine.

I’m not sure if it’s because I’m getting familiar with the custom/modules, e.g. modules are beginning to express themselves or it is simply the new listening schedule is fitting, for the last two listenings I felt a mild euphoria during listening while meditating. This feeling happened before only when listened to Emperor zp and never happened to the custom before.

Maybe I am in the (beginning of) cocoon phase that @Malkuth mentioned. I lost major interest in internet, especially forums and online communication. I don’t even feel like reading or watching news these days. Before I valued online life equally to real life if not more, to the point where I was just as anxious to be or not to be online and offline (no pun intended). Yet now I began to see it as it is.

There is a subtle distinction between not wanting to do something and okay with not doing something even when outwardly the end result for both is something not done. E.g. Before I was uncomfortable making posts/speaking up, then I was comfortable doing so, now I am comfortable not doing so.

In my meditation, I could kinda see that certain modules, e.g. Limit Destroy, Wealth Limit Destroyer and Ares, were taking the front stage. More accurately, I should say I saw other modules working in the backstage. With Omnidimensional being
director, checking and ready to deal with issues. Others as gaffer, sound mixer, wardrobe, coordinator etc.

Doesn’t matter how long it takes, how many retakes, what’s matter is a masterpiece is being made :movie_camera: Let’s get this show on the road :studio_microphone:

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I know that ARES is supposed to be an antidote but in my meditation it was a robust poison itself. It fought poison with poison and I couldn’t prefer more this way.

Read a few pages of a book before I couldn’t go on and had to drop it. I am not a book lover to begin with but there were a few books that I couldn’t put down, that I liked them so much that half way through I was sorrowful that I was going to finish reading it. This book was one of them.

This book isn’t a masterpiece in any sense, the words are simple, the volume is thin, there are plenty of books out there with a similar teaching/content. Yet there was a time that this book shattered my views in life, and it brought me a sense of liberation. It sustained me for what two years maybe.

Reading this book now brings me nothing but a feeling of regression. Try as I might I can no longer reproduce the joyous feeling I once had. I guess it’s true that time changes and takes away everything.

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I would say it is because you have grown beyond the teachings in this book. Also time changes your tastes as your mind gets used to the knowledge you have.

Bless the book for what it taught you at that time and joy it gave you then. But now it is time to move on to other places.

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You always have a positive and grateful perspective.

You know those rare moments, ones that ever come by chance alone, where you feel so renewed, so hopeful, so free, so mentally clear, that you believe and feel deeply that the best is yet to come. I guess at the end of the day it wasn’t about the book but I was hoping to re-experience those moments.

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You will have them again with new experiences :pray:

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