To the best of Chase

In recon; the thought of dropping or remaking the custom keep coming and going.

Emperor calls me once again. Look at the old entries in the previous journal, there’s a reason I went with Stark; EZP certainly had its shortcomings. (Journaling is indeed very helpful)

Yet SubClub says ZP don’t lie. On top of that with LBFH, many shortcomings of Emperor would be compensated by it. Yet is it really the one for me? If one has to choose, should one go for internal or external comfort?

I did LBFH only once and all it did was make me horny. I should listen to it for a period of time to better evaluate what it would do to me. Yet intuitively I feel like stacking it with my custom isn’t the best way. It is best stacked with EZP, which brings me back to Emperor :unamused:

Well the more I type the more I am sure I am in recon. Will need to take another rest day.


The extra time for rest works as the thought of dropping sub is gone. Once again I am seeing it as just right for my current stage of life.

I played around the idea of a new custom though. By that I mean I picked and arranged modules in the order page. Yet no urge to replace my current custom, was simply imagining what could be built upon with the current custom as my foundation.

So far my mood is quite good, my mind quite relax.


The first thing I notice about these placements that is very interesting.

In your natal chart, the signs and the Houses are lined up pretty well. This is not usually the case.

in other words, the first sign, Aries, is in your 1st House.

The eighth sign, Scorpio, is in your 8th House.

Apart from just being interesting, this adds an extra level of clarity to your chart. Almost as if it is written in bold-type.

The North node is in Aries in the first House.

This indicates that your optimal path in this life is to rise to challenges, overcome difficulties and opponents, and to boldly and intrepidly move forward to establish your vision of what matters to you.

We would expect that:

Establishing and expressing your identity, your sense of self, your personal sovereignty and dominance are a central part of what you are here to do.

It’s not that it will always be easy. It’s that the more you do this, the more that life will seem to make sense and the more that circumstances will seem to fall into place.

In your case, your North Node (i.e., the ‘right’ path of development in this life) is in your 1st House. This means that the 1) way you are meant to be and the 2) way of being that comes naturally to you are in alignment.

In my view, that’s a fortunate placement.

(For contrast, in my own chart, my first house or Ascendant is relatively opposite to my North Node. I have to work with my natural tendencies quite a bit if I want to get things onto the right path.)

Anyway, looking at your North Node placement, I would say that status, dominance, leadership, and self-sovereignty types of subliminals would be very helpful to you.

Emperor, we’re looking at you.

Emperor is the Self-Determination title par excellence.

(But of course there are others, and it can also depend on what your own unique identity leads you to value at this time in your life.)


Thank you! I don’t wanna cloud your thoughts on the question asked about indicators of a fitting sub (which we would talk about it in your journal when you have the time) but I had an euphoric feeling when listening to EZP the first time and have thought about going back to it from time to time since dropping it. Just a couple of days ago I was thinking to pick it up again with LBFH.

The only reasons I had to let it go were it seemed to make me too serious and think in an one track way (not creative or relax, very “earthy”), and more importantly, compared to Stark people had less favorable receptions towards me. Not that they were hostile or anything, just that with Stark I got my way easier comparatively speaking.

I appreciate your reply. When you have the time can you let me know how you interpret Mars and Venus in my chart? Especially vocational wise?

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Next, Mars.

The planet of fiery passion, will, and assertion. Mars illuminates the ways in which your will to achieve, to produce, to establish, to compete will be most focused.

In your case, that is in the sign of Capricorn and in the domain of the 11th House.

Capricorn is the consummate businessman. This is a pretty strong position for Mars. And (spoiler alert) Emperor is looking pretty damn good for this placement too.

Capricorn succeeds. Capricorn succeeds in the world’s terms, but even more importantly, Capricorn succeeds on his/her own terms. He’s patient. He’s inexorable. He’s inevitable. He’s simply not going to stop until the thing is completed. He knows how to discipline himself and to use his energy, vision, and power to be effective.

Combined with the fire of Mars, this is almost like a flamethrower or a furnace. It effectively harnesses and focuses that fire in order to forge and shape that which is desired. (Kind of reminds me of a blacksmith’s forge, actually.)

Yeah, so that.

Somewhat in contrast, the 11th House is about PATH. (That’s my own keyword for it based on what I’ve learned and observed so far.)

It’s about the (possibly unique) direction, vista, and destination—the Path—that is yours to walk in this life. And it’s also about those people you will meet and connect with as you define and walk that path.

So combining them all together:

Your passion and your life’s work will be expressed in the form of a methodical, effective, and success-driven clarification and establishment of your own right path in this life and a journey along that path.

I should also further emphasize that when I say Path that significantly includes the people and colleagues with whom you will affiliate on that path. That sense of connection around a shared purpose and direction will be important to you and important for you.

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Again, as with the North Node,

Venus is in both the 8th sign and the 8th House. So, again, we’re writing in bold-type. (The 8th sign and the 8th house are basically expressing the same underlying archetype.)

Remember that Venus is about your aesthetic and sensual nature. It’s about what you are loved for in this world and it’s about what you love in this world. It’s about how you find your ease and how you find beauty, and it’s about how you create and share beauty and ease for others.

When you express your Venusian qualities, people will be drawn to you, and you will enjoy being with them. This is why it’s another important element of career and work identity.

Your Venus is in the 8th sign and the 8th house, otherwise known as Scorpio.

Scorpio is about an openness to the truths and the realities of what it is to be human and to be alive. Sex. Death. God. Scorpio does not flinch from the realities that make us piss our pants (another Scorpio image).

Scorpio faces what the mind suppresses and represses, and so Scorpio is also about navigation of the Subconscious realms (including, ta da!, Subliminals. also psychotherapy, hypnosis, magick, ritual, and so on).

You will feel a special satisfaction when you express your desire to face and to explore your own and others’ humanness. To wade into the waters and the mud of our real lives. Including those secrets, those emotions, those human experiences that we often try to hide from.

Your willingness to do this will fascinate and (sometimes) reassure others. Kind of like how I always loved watching Steve Irwin go into the habitats of these animals and interact with them, even though I was not really willing to go into those places myself. You’re doing that in the heart and the mind, and with the deep human instincts.

It’s said that people also feel more comfortable sharing their secrets with a person who has strong Scorpio influences. It’s like we can tell that you’re already somewhat familiar with these kinds of things.

Sex. Death. God. You’re cool with it. The whole freaking roller coaster of it. You keep getting back on the ride, even after others have already gone home or gone on to less intense activities.

So, in this area, I’d say you’d do well with Subliminals like Primal, Primal Seduction, even Khan. But also Sex Mastery, The Alchemist, and so on.

And that, for now, is what I’ve got.


(oh and I saw just now that you’re thinking of LBFH to balance out Emperor. I haven’t tried LBFH yet. But that might get at this same balance between your Capricorn Mars and your Scorpio Venus.)

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and another p.s.

Your strong 8th House and Scorpio placement (Venus) also bodes well for your use of subliminals (and similar resources) in general.

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Thank you so much for the posts. It’s very kind of you to detail them. I am savoring them. Need to think before I make comment or ask anymore questions since I wanna respect your effort. Thank you again.

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@Malkuth I meditated with your posts and have done more research with them as guidance. I think I got what you meant by a map is not the journey. The more I read the more there’s a sense of rebellion in me that I refused to accept or associate with the negative traits shown in the chart.

Do I have them, yes. But do I have to carry them for the rest of my life, why would I?

On the other hand the positive qualities revealed by the chart are to be used as examples. As in being told see this is what the best version of you look like. The light house is there shining, whether I wanna go there or how I go there is my choice.

I will keep using my custom for a couple of months to build a foundation and wanna make it worth. Yet afterwards either Emperor or Khan (in custom) is next.


For we know in part and we prophesy in part, but when the perfect comes, the partial will pass away.

When I was a child, I spoke like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I gave up childish ways.

For now we see in a mirror dimly, but then face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I have been fully known.

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Every trait is simultaneously positive, negative, and neutral.

Water and Fire sustain life and they also extinguish life.

This is how I see the patterns of the natal chart. They don’t provide meaning to your life; only data.

Like emptying or scanning your backpack to see what’s inside. Hey look, you have a hammer. Are you going attack someone with it? Or maybe you’ll use it to help to build a house for someone. Or for today, it may simply serve as a paperweight.

Either way, it’s still being a hammer.

In a way, personality really isn’t very personal at all. We modern humans are still pretty primitive when it comes to consciousness. We can see our bodies as objects. But when it comes to thoughts and emotions, we tend to identify with them to the point that we let them run the show.

One of the possible projects in this life is to practice tending, cultivating, and harnessing our mental qualities and attributes in the same ways that we do our material qualities and resources.

My opinion: just let yourself be free and make the choices that seem best and right to you. If astro is not helping at any point, then chuck it for the time being. On the other hand, if it’s helpful, then that’s great too. You are the one in charge here.


I can’t put into exact words how each module works especially externally. But this :point_up_2: is an example of what I “see” of how they work. Sometimes certain modules stand out, the present of a few are constant, a couple which previously were present are now receded, a couple seem to be less active than most. So far they are beats, slowly they will turn into a more elegant flow, eventually a harmonized melody is conceived.


Likely take an early washout (again). For the past couple of cycles, I couldn’t meet the 21-day mark, always felt most comfortable stopping at ~14 - 16 day. In fact out of my ZP journey I didn’t meet the mark half of the time.

My criteria for wanting/needing a washout is based on when my thoughts or emotions begin to jump around from one thing/place to another. One moment this looks good, next that looks better while completely discard the former; one moment I feel refreshed, next a tiny silly thing happened and I am now irritated. Also the urge to drop the current sub but keeps changing the replacement candidate.

Have this mental image of my energy or force dissipates aimlessly. Feel like a call for me to focus on myself to reduce the dissipation.


I feel the same way. My last washout I had negative feelings and a slight headache I could shake. I washed out about a week.


I am blooming from the custom. ZP indeed works subtly, naturally. I am more at the present and have less negative thoughts.

Furious Ascent and Fenrir make me look forward to the unknown or challenges. E.g. Let other people bring it on, show me their lies and dirty tricks and I will show them what it’s like to be crushed.

I have this tendency kicking myself for the last mistakes. Many of them were actually insignificant like forgot to apply for a coupon discount or picked a gift that was not needed. In fact just an hour ago or so I was regretting a decision, again an insignificant one, kept wishing I made not that decision.

Yet just now I had this thought - there’s no past mistakes, there is only better decisions/actions. If anything I gained the knowledge of not making those mistakes again. I am even feeling a sense of liberation. Must be ARES and Omnidimensional.

Thinking of make a modified or expanded version of my custom, 90% the same. Will see if this thought persists at the end of the washout.

Peace out.


The power of manifestation is the same for good and bad. Fear is faith inverted. This too shall pass.

I know all this intelligently. But emotionally and subconsciously (in the sense the part where I can’t control consciously) it is a battle to believe, to know good/positivity is as available as the bad stuff/negativity.

I have first hand experiences on manifestating bad stuff in my life, I know what fear brings to manifestation, I see that all good things come to an end eventually. Yet I am stuck in the negative half, can’t bring my mind to cross to the other side where good stuff are just easily manifested, where faith shines on abundance and security, where the season of affliction has to pass no way for it to stay.

Just a little push, just a little crack for me to squeeze through. I have so much power and potential in me that it is not right to be misused on negativity like that. My life is at a critical point; whatever it is I need to breakdown this barrier/veil that prevents me from seeing knowing touching feeling living the other half of the truth/the law at any price.


Feel like most energy are spent on processing custom. I am emotionally flat, mentally aloof, physically lethargic.

The silver lining is I am feeling detached to the manifestation of the custom; I don’t care if it is working (it is), and let it unfold according to its own season.

During washout I played around ideas of the next custom or stack. Had difficulties building a custom that felt right, a few (healing) modules looked great by themselves alone but always stuck out like a sore thumb in a custom. E.g. I wanted to squeeze LBFH, LD, I AM and/or ARES somewhere in the next custom but they just didn’t fit the overall theme or vibe.

Then I remembered that it was itself a limitation of not being able to let go of those modules. The more I focused on the healing modules, the more I affirmed to my mind that I had limitations, and the limitations couldn’t be overcome unless I had those modules in a custom.

It is time I stop washing/cleaning the wound, apply dressing, let it heal, and train the muscle.


Something came up and now all the inner progress I had were gone. On top of that the external triggered recon comes at me in full force.

Story of my life, every time when I saw the light at the end of the tunnel something always happened and dragged back me to square one. Many of these burdens weren’t even mine.

But it is not right for a man to whine, and a real man would keep his negative emotions or feelings to himself instead of airing them out like dirty laundry. But this moment I am tired of climbing up the hill or swimming against the current.

Moment like this I really miss Emperor, and I want LBFH to warp me up like a warm blanket. But my anxiety and ocd tendency say no.

I don’t wanna lose the external progress of the custom; people response to me nicely, without trying things just go my way more, I am able to hold conversations, my thinking is more creative. Not to mention all the time and efforts I spent on it would be wasted if I drop it.

They would be wasted as from my previous experience Emperor was the opposite. I was non reactive but I had to make extra efforts to get what I wanted, I was awkward in conversations, my thinking was conservative. It is literally a trade off, an either or.

I don’t even know if LBFH would help me or exacerbate the recon.

No I am not gonna stack them. The archetypes are too distinctive and might cancel out each other. Ends up with none of the best but with the worst of both.

Feel like being stuck in all ways, financially, emotionally, mentally. It’s over when letting go or picking up a sub paralyzes me with anxiety.


Had a panic attack which hadn’t happened for awhile; felt chilled and shaking uncontrollably.

Ordered a new custom. Did I do it on a whim? No. Did I do it on a flight or fight response? Kinda.

No because I thought about making a new custom for awhile but originally my plan was to finalize it on Nov/Dec. What happened to me brought this plan forth in time. Kinda because the modules list of this new custom isn’t ideal. The custom I had in mind would be about making a more ideal version of me with shining qualities, a surgical approach. Now the custom I ordered is (once again) more about surviving with a patching/kitchen sink approach.

The consolation is I don’t have attachments to this new custom. Of course I expect it, or should I say I rely on it to work, but I am overall aloof towards it unlike my first custom, which I was excited, treasured it, and kept looking out for manifestations.


I am harsh to myself, feel numb, I have nothing much to offer. But knowing that it is within my freedom to be kind and positive to others, and I choose to do so makes me feel better.

Not much energy left in me, and at this point whatever left is slowly wasted away. So I rather spend what little I have on others even though I am a mess myself. It is almost like “it’s too late for me, but you can still make it”.