First before giving hints of what my next custom is, I have to first explain the past, present and future of the upcoming custom.
The past: I tried to find a really old journal of mine from 2 years ago when I ran Khan ST1 that explains my fears and issues that I’ve faced in passed. Since I can’t find it, I will just explain it here. I wanna first explain in a few words what my passed was all about. Rejection, Loneliness and lack of attractiveness. What do I mean by that
All throughout high school I’ve been living a constant state of pain and if I look at it right now to some this might seem like me being overly sensitive or not a big deal but at that moment of time for me it was. I will start talking from my first year of highschool until the end of it and how those 3 pain points I mentioned in the past have impacted the life I live now. Back in year one of highschool (We have 5 years in total), I used to be short, had acne, fat (Over 40% bodyfat) and had an introverted personality. I remember those days we’re hard but not as bad as year 2 and 3 which I will talk about it soon. Year one wasn’t horrible but wasn’t good it was a mix of trying to understand why people avoided me and why I didn’t have many friends (Back then I was put into a computer program at school for my grades so most of time was spent working on a laptop instead of socializing). Now let’s get into year 2 and 3, those we’re possibly the hardest years of my life. Even though I lost weight and was visibly skinny (At some point I started doing one day fast and implemented IF into my routine), I would get constantly rejected by attractive girls and my social circle was full of “friends” who would constantly start rumors about me and made people hate me which led me to some days to eat in the bathroom because of the fear of getting bullied or cyber bullied which happened often back then. Year 4 and 5 was more the year where I felt lonely internally because I felt different to my class. My class wanted to get into univeristy, be in relationships, do tiktoks and party but that didn’t satisfy me, I wanted more. I knew I could be successful and I knew what I wanted and how to achieve it so starting from year 5 I started coding and working on myself. I got more attractive, I got more status, I got more money and I improved my social skills but this would just come to make me feel even more lonely. You see when you want success so much that your willing to die for it and work non stop to achieve you don’t feel the same with other people who don’t want that type of success so I had to cut out my social circle and change my life once highschool finished that’s exactly what I did. On top of this, I met a girl back then who completely ruined my reputation and ruined my life temporarily until everyone figured out that she was lying when proof about it was show to them. Even thought now those same people who blamed me for the lies she said apologize and wanted to be friends with me again, it was still one of the hardest times of my life which affected me when seeing and talking to girls. But what now?
Present: I have be honest, I got lucky in life. Back when I started my tech career, I said the right things, at the right time and to the right person and even though hard work payed off as well luck was a factor as well. With the start of my tech career at 19, I’m now able to live a pretty good comfortable life without needing to go to university because I don’t need it with my current career (Except for getting my MBA which I will be working towards at 21). At this point of my life, I have somewhat a good status, a good career but something was still missing. I didn’t feel attractive whenever I looked in the mirror even though I knew I had a healthy diet, good amount of muscle on my frame and I wasn’t fat (By now I think I’ve been training for 5 years now). By now my romantic life has started to improved but because of that one girl from the past I wasn’t able to comfortably talk to a girl or have relations with them. I have no issues with talking to girls but I wouldn’t say my social skills are the best with them. My issue stems from the comfortability of the past affecting my present life which I’ve been working non stop to improve and make sure I can become the man, I want to become.
Future: My 4 main goals before ending 2022, become attractive, level up my social skills and make even more money. I don’t want to reveal too much about why those are my goals and they might seem general but as you read the journal you will realize they have a specific purpose and a detail reason why I want to achieve those goals. Without further to do and without getting into too many details, I want to present what my customs entails:
Stark + Wanted
Let the games begin but I have to give a disclaimer before I start this custom. I have be honest, I have no clue how long I will be able to run this custom nor will I know if I will drop it after 1 loop and get a new one since I have a tendency to do that nor do I know if I will update this journal frequently however what I can promise you all and I hope to achieve is to inspire and motivate people to take constant action no matter what sub you listen to. Remember everyone here no matter who they are or how they look has the potential to achieve great success in life and I really mean this for everyone. With a burning desire to achieve success, anyone can make that desire come true.