Day#21
KB st1 × 5 minutes.
Phoenix × 5
Yesterday I tossed away the idea of adding my custom back to my stack… KB and Phoenix has a lot of work to do and just the two are more than enough for now.
Did my Microcosmic Orbit practice last night and Im about to do some more of it right now.
Had a nightmare that in essence was about not being heard and thats an issue Ive experienced resurfacing last week… Im gonna let Phoenix do its thing.
Im feeling sad and beaten down… Im in physical pain also which of course doesnt help.
I need to sleep and rest.
So Im washing out for a couple of days and yesterday I decided to take a week of vacations at the beach… Im gonna travel to see my dad and relax a bit.
The constant horniness that Ive felt since I started KB is now gone since sunday.
I now feel more emotionally distant from my ex, it started yesterday. I began seeing her as someone from the past in my brain and the emotional shift is pretty noticeable, maybe Phoenix doing its thing.
Can both of these results be corelated? It seems that way.
Anyways Im thinking whether I should leave my stack intact for the next cycle or of I should implement a “Vacation Stack”.
I will think about it during washout… both options include KB st1 though.
The amount of sadness and feelings of being low value, today have been pretty intense.
Also Im so fucking pissed off right now… all the shit I endured and for what?!
Today I woke up feeling pretty heavy and with a bit of a headache. I did a 30 minutes Microcosmic Orbit meditation and now I feel much better.
Last night I made a list with the issues that were making me feel sad and angry and decided to work through the worst one… It took me to an unexpected road and results.
It wasnt about what I thought it was, it was just my own ability to hold on to a grudge for 25 years… Let someone say I have issues with commitment now 
It was short lived, after I finished a session with a client the headache and the anger came back, now with extra sadness…
This is my 3rd day of washing out, most likely I will keep my stack the same, theres a ton of crap to ressolve yet.
And with that, PHOENIX is going to burn away all the shit that holds you back from absolute greatness with an alarming impunity. It does not care about your desire for moving slow and it will use your weakness as its fuel.
I signed up for this, now I go through it without crying 
So I did some emotional release exercises and felt a lot better, the headache began to melt away. Then I went to the pool for a while and later did some boxing, I gotta tell you I feel a deep sense of relief.
Later Im doing the Microcosmic Orbit meditation and relax some more.
Cycle #2
Day #1
KB × 10 minutes
Im feeling much better today, although still a bit tired from all the turmoil.
In this cycle Im gonna test a different listening strategy, longer listening times, but only 1 title per listening day.
Day#3
A little adjustment.
KB × 1 minute
Heartsong × 6:30
Essentially I added the new Heartsong to my stack because it fits my agenda and it looks really cool.
So HS, KB and Phoenix for this cycle it is.
This is what made me add HS
Heartsong incorporates specific scripting aimed at healing past romantic traumas. The question arises: how can one hope to forge a beautiful relationship while still being shadowed by the limiting beliefs and scars from past relationships? Heartsong addresses this by harnessing the transformative power of love and romance, providing an avenue for healing these old wounds. When combined with the revolutionary New Subliminal Experience, any moment of healing is significantly amplified, leading to transformative changes in your emotional landscape.
This process encourages you to release the pain from previous relationships, opening your heart to love with freedom and purity. The integration of the New Subliminal Experience within Heartsong ensures that these moments of healing and transformation are not just minor shifts, but monumental leaps towards a more loving, free, and emotionally healthy self. With Heartsong, you are not just finding love; you are redefining and healing it within yourself.
My god HS + KB are blissing me out! ❤️🔥🗡
Haha! Glad to hear this, brother! After all that pain, you deserve some bliss 
I discovered that most (if not all) of the important decisions Ive made in my life, have been triggered or motivated by pain.
Once the waters settles a bit more, I believe its a good idea if I work towards living from pleasure and make decisions that nurtures self enjoyment and growth, instead of running away from the flames.
Day#5
KB st1 × 7 minutes
HS × 3 minutes.
Im inclined to give Phoenix a little rest until next week and ease in HS into my stack.
My Microcosmic Orbit practice is getting more and more intense, last night I felt like a block in the lower back got melted and the energy then rushed through my spine with more strenght.
Like I said yesterday my only “goal” now is to live from a place of pleasure and self enjoyment, to do the things that makes my heart vibrate and let that force to expand through my whole life.
So I got a rush of warm self love energy and at the same time a rise of sexual energy, both coming from very specific and distinct places in my body… Whats funny is that Im aware of how my mind is trying to make sense of both things happening simultaneously.
I can see this blending into something quite interesting soon enough.
Yesterday I did an hypnosis session with a client, some guy with lots of anxiety that have experienced some panic attacks. After we finished he looked so calm and I ask him how he felt, his answer was quite powerful, he said: “My mind is empty” while looking really peaceful. Its worth noticing that before we worked he was tormented by images of loved ones having pretty violent experiences.
When he told me that his mind was empty, I felt really good for him and thought to myself I want the same for me. In the past that kind of good results from clients made me feel bad for myself and led me to question why cant I have the same thing… whats wrong with me.
Now on the other hand I could honestly feel good for the guy and in wonder appreciate the benefits of experiencing the same kind of effects in my life.
Thats exactly the kind of perceptual shift Im working on having in my life. Focusing on joy, learning, playing and growing, focusing on what else is there to be discovered and enjoyed.
I had to meet my ex today, cause we had to finish a job that was due for today.
After a couple of hours being with her, an understanding hit me right in the face… She complaints about everything, everything is dramatic for her… She lives in a world of worries and fears and it drains me energetically, unless I become very detached to the point of coldness.
I now understand many things… Truth is I can’t afford a relationship like that, not with her, not with anyone else. I hope she finds inner peace, but she will have to find it somewhere else.
Well after 3 attempts, she managed to pick a fight, I was stupid enough to get mad an invest into it, but not that stupid to not realize I fell into the trap and quickly decided to leave.
Now Im enjoying a beer and a burger.
Unfortunately I have to come back there in less than an hour and I know I havent seen the end of it.
Good… I got it now! Im at that stage, the stage in which I look at her, observe her behavior and think: “What did I ever saw in her?”
I going through the letting go part of the process.