I feel so much sadness… Im aware that Im sad at what I lost… The loss of the Illusion.
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The process of letting go transferred from the emotional realm, to the physical today.
I had to enforce my boundaries with my ex and finally we both agree that theres no more reason for us to talk anymore, unless its strictly necessary.
The sadness and anxiety I was feeling today, melted away after the conversation and now I feel calmer.
Im starting to feel free from the burdens Ive been carrying in my shoulders.
This stack is really paying off, HS is really good.
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Day#7
KB × 4 minutes
HS × 7 minutes.
Theres a song that’s been stuck in my head for 3 days straight. The first day was just a guitar part and learnt it, after that its a melodic line with its lyrics… “Im getting closer to my home”
Im gonna listen to it… again and again.
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Man… the amount of clarity Im gaining since I started HS is quite impressive… It literally feels like I got blinders removed from my eyes and now everything is coming together into shape.
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Ive been using coffee and sugar as aids to cope with all the strong emotions that has been surfacing due to the break up and the healing stack, but today Im enjoying the first tastes of emotional freedom and deep joy… A strong sense of hope arising from within me.
Im getting closer to my home…
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Clickbaity title, but a pretty interesting interview.
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Microcosmic Orbit meditation is getting more powerful and more interesting, just did 20 minutes and I feel ready to have some fun.
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Day#9
KB × 3 minutes
HS × 9 minutes
I had such an strange dream last night, old temples in the mountains, sand storms, beaches and weird conflicts.
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Today in the morning I got a strong tensional headache out of the blue, with nausea and dizziness. I thought that was the worst thing that could happen, but after a few hours I got the news that my grandpa died.
He was 94 years old and it was kind of expected from him to die, but its still painful. I canceled my vacations and tomorrow Im going back… the things is I was visiting my father and tomorrow its his birthday… So im only gonna be able to have a coffee in the morning with him to celebrate.
I feel pretty tired… both physically and emotionally.
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Thanks man!! I cant stop crying, he was like a 2nd father to me. At least I have the comfort that he is now resting and he died pretty quickly, somewhat painless.
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Condolences to your father and you, brother. May your grandpa rest in peace. And birthday blessings to your dad in this difficult time.
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Thank you my brother!!
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30 minutes of Microcosmic Orbit last night, 20 more this morning.
Im gonna take a shower and have breakfast with my dad, later I got a plane to catch.
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Im about to fly back to my city to meet my brothers and travel to the city where my grandpa lived, we are going to meet our family there for the wake. Surely theres gonna be a lot of music, memories and alcohol.
Today I feel much better, yesterday I allowed myself to cry it out.
Im not longer sad about the break up with the ex though, just mildly angered at times, but getting better. Im focused on keeping my space sacred and cutting all the cords.
This stack works marvelously and tomorrow Im adding Phoenix back.
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I cant listen to my stack today… the headache is back and strong. At first I thought it was a bit of hungover, but it doesnt feel that way, it feels like it did on saturday.
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Day#11
Ended up sleeping for a while and now Im feeling much better
KB × 5 minutes
Phoenix × 2 minutes
Lets hope this wasnt a mistake. 
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My grandpa’s funeral was today, one of those lifes coincidences made so the ceremony started like 2 hours late, due to that the priest and the chorus had to leave before it started, we didnt even care.
This wasnt in a church, but in open air and thats a small service they offered. Nobody really wanted it so we were pretty happy that they left.
Why would we want bible reading and jesus music, none of us is religious, so instead we took turns to talk about my gandpa, share stories and then we played some tango in the radio, just what he liked. It was a very beautiful and completely improvised ceremony.
With close family we went to have lunch afterwards and had a good time.
I need a couple of day to fully rest.
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