19.09.24: 15 min Khan Black Stage 3 (evening)
19.09.24: 15 min Emperor (evening)
Having some leisure time this evening, I decided to give the titles a full run again. Let’s see how it goes.
This week I found the teachings of Corey Wayne (“The 3% Male”), that gave me some aha moments. Filling the gap between old knowledge and my current behaviour. While I take his standpoint and “philosophy” with a grain of salt, I learned a lot of usefull information, that gave me some insights about why my wife acts sometimes like she acts and what I did to facilitate that behaviour. No more blaming is aloud for me, I have to “Own my Sh***”. Greetings to @AlexanderGraves
Almost a year of running Emperor an I notice a great change in my self perception, behavior and a growing confidence. It takes time to overwrite 40+ years of totally different beliefs and brain-structures, but I’m on a good way.
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21.09.24: 15 min Khan Black Stage 3 (afternoon)
21.09.24: 15 min Emperor (afternoon)
From day to day, I feel more worthy.
My wife must feel it too. She acts accordingly.
23.09.24: 15 min Khan Black Stage 3 (afternoon)
23.09.24: 15 min Emperor (afternoon)
Since Khan Black, especially stage 3, the love and admiration for my wife is magnified. Woooh. Imagine how it would be to stack it with the new Primal Romance…
Also, like it is described on the sales page, my energy level has really enhanced. I feel more flow.
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25.09.24: 15 min Khan Black Stage 3 (afternoon)
25.09.24: 15 min Emperor (afternoon)
Don’t know what it is, but experience BIG testings on my status. People try to insult me, are mean or respectless (often unexpected and out of the blue). Until now, I could handle it well and draw my boundaries. Have to watch out carefully. I feel like a soldier in a war who can always be attacked from everywhere and anytime.
Also, I feel some exhaustiveness from all the bullshit that is going on with people. Their excuses, cognitive dissonances and lies they tell not only the outside world but also to themselves. That makes me also a little bit short-tempered (not on the outside but on the inside). And anger is creeping up. Have to examine it deeper.
3 Likes
27.09.24: 15 min Khan Black Stage 3
27.09.24: 15 min Emperor
My recent 5-day vacation was a fantastic escape! My wife and I had an amazing time together, and for the first time in over a year, we enjoyed a short trip completely free of arguments. It seems that the personal growth I’ve experienced on Emperor for almost a year and now with the addition of Khan Black has smoothed out some of our rough edges. I feel like I’m in a better place and reached kind of a new status. Our relationship is definitely benefiting.
03.10.24: 15 min Khan Black Stage 3
03.10.24: 15 min Emperor
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I’m at a bit of a loss. After the wonderful vacation days without arguments and in harmony, my wife was very withdrawn and in a bad mood again yesterday. This morning she was back to causing problems, teasing and attacking me for nothing. She’s caught me on the wrong foot, defenses down. I have to put on my armor again and set boundaries. I’m hurt. It’s really starting to piss me off and make me tired. It’s not that I think a relationship should always be rosy, but games like this don’t have to be, do they?
No they don’t.
She just projects her pain on you, being your wife you’re likely the closest she has so she unconsciously sees you as a safe place to unload her garbage, which to some extent can be acceptable depending entirely upon your relationship and how much you are willing to give your energy to her (take her shit, in a compassionate, tolerant understanding way).
But this is entirely up to you to express how much garbage you are willing to take, and the fact she does this means you have already accepted it in the past and shown your boundaries in this way.
My advice would be if that bothers you too much, it’s time to listen to yourself, your love for yourself (which is the same as your love for others as well), it’s time to reset these boundaries with her and let her know when she has crossed your line.
This is the beauty of life, we get to recreate ourselves at every moment, and freely choose how we want to feel, and share with others that gift, be it showing kindness or showing where the line is.
I’m lucky I live with a close friend that is very aware and is working on herself just like me so whenever some disagreement or projection of our pain on the other happens we quickly are aware of it and apologize and have only good feelings toward each other because we understand.
This is why long term relationship usually break up if one in the couple outgrows the other, you being very pissed is a great sign you love yourself and you know you deserve to be treated with respect.
I hope what I wrote helps somehow, I feel like captain obvious writing this shit.
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Thank you very much @SoulFire your words are very comforting and confirming. They are the right words, to the right time! 
That’s absolutetly true, I was in a place where I don’t understand it for years and projectect it always on myself (as she often tries to impose, successfully, I would say). But, as you say, I grow a lot, thanks also to subclub, and see a lot more and are less willing to accept that kind of behaviour.
Yes, that is it. But it’s hard. To draw boundaries means that I have to get in a place where I get more hurt in the first place. It’s not like: that are my boundaries, and that’s it. It involves pain, my own limits and certainly more fighting with my wife. But you are right, I have to make that step.
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@SoulFire Thank you again for your support. I could resolve the issue and the awareness of such situations has grown. So I should be able to navigate such situations better in the future. I have to be more tangible with my boundaries from the first place to catch it while it’s not hot.
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Some observations on using Khan Black related to control during sex: I’ve never been someone who could hold out forever, especially since I’m with my wife—she’s just too beautiful. But during Stage 2, it became a bit embarrassing; I felt like a teenage boy with very little control. However, things changed dramatically in Stage 3. Now, I have more control than ever before, it’s truly outstanding.
3 Likes
05.10.24: 15 min Khan Black Stage 3
05.10.24: 15 min Emperor
07.10.24: 15 min Khan Black Stage 3
07.10.24: 15 min Emperor
Had a long and very honest conversation with a friend yesterday regarding my relationship with my wife and my mixed feelings about it. I love her, but at the same time it is very difficult at the moment. When I look back, and I am honest with myself, it was difficult all the time, but I wore some rose colored glasses and put a lot on myself. As I have changed a lot during the last year, I’m unable to put so many constraints on me, as I have in the past, only to keep the relationship calm. Separation is really at the top of my thoughts now but I need more time to process it. This is the hardest decision I’ve ever had to make, and I’m going to allow myself enough time to think it through.
The conversation yesterday released a lot of stuck energy, today I feel like a powerhouse and already got a lot of sh**t done.
Decided today that I will add Sanguine to my stack as soon as the next cycle starts.
The amount of energy I have coursing through my body today is astonishing.
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If you’re serious about loving your wife despite all the trouble, did you consider running HS for this reason?
Since you say you love her and she’s stunningly beautiful, it would be easier and cheaper than a divorce.
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That’s true! And less painfull (but thats only true if some real change happens, otherwise I would prefer some intensive pain for a short period of time instead of less intensive pain over a long period of time…)
Good point with Heartsong. I haven’t thought about that. It’s worth a try.
As I wrote above, I thought about adding Sanguine to the stack, I’m on Emperor and Khan Black Stage 3 now and really want to finish all Khan Black cycles and removing Emperor is no option. I wanted to add Sanguine from next cycle on because I thought it would help me stay calm when my wife throws some tantrum. What do you think? Would you rather add Heartsong to the mix instead of Sanguine?
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As I see it, HS and Sanguine are to completly different approaches for your problem.
Sanguine
Helps you to stay calm when your wife is difficult.
Heartsong
Removes all the troubles from your relationship, and fills it with harmony. So your wife will not get angry anymore.
To me it seems like Sanguine would just be like treating a symptom. Whereas HS treats the cause.
Perhaps your wife would be willing to listen to HS as well to super boost your relationship.
Ask @IRON HS did a lot for her.
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Good observation. Will think about it. Thanks for your support.
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It’s a great thing you’re wiling to change yourself to improve your relationship, but as @Parsifal mentioned, I also think your wife could help take a part in it, it would make everything so much easier and better, have you ever talked to her about the subs and do you think she’d be willing to listen to it as well?