The next step in my journey has never been this clear, it’s been obvious for close a month.
I was waiting for an almost two week long recon to be processed, before I embarked on the next phase.
Got a breakthrough two days ago and finally resolved the recon yesterday.
The recon had the four pillars which had to be resolved to bring more alignment
Better put as “perceived lack”. Because I haven’t experienced some things I strongly desire. It seems like there is a whole inside me, felt it viscerally. Together with the desire to keep filling this hole.
Vicious cycle. This is the literal foundation of how monsters are made. Knowingly or unknowingly.
These desires expressing themselves through my shadow, wanting to fulfill those experiences by any means. To fill the internal hole plaguing me.
Finally, me suppressing my shadow as much as I could, for as long as I can remember. This uses up a lot of internal resources. Also leads to unchecked and unharnessed growth of my shadow.
Light and dark keeps colliding…every day…every second…every moment I live and the light seems victorious, but how long…till the burnout?
Which leads to
Final takeaways
It gets even crazier, but those are too personal. Some things are hard to accept, and, I’m not going to overhaul my entire life around my revelations, but I won’t deny them any longer.
The journey will continue regardless.
Have I ever believed there was something impossible to achieve? No
How about for me? I think yes.
Not that it’s impossible, more that I don’t deserve it. “I am not worthy”.
Never spoken that, but live it everyday. In my thoughts, what I can receive, what I ask for, what I accept, what I’m willing to take. Even asking for help has been difficult at times.
Anyone, even I, could justify it by saying I haven’t put in the work to be worthy, which could be true. However, FUCK IT.
I want the world and I’m beginning to believe I am worthy. I simply need to shift the blocks and watch things fall in place.
I AM WORTHY AND NOTHING IS BEYOND MY REALITY
Not everything is for me, but I will have every experience my journey has to offer.
Alignment births harmony
Harmony births flow
Flow births coordination/rhythm
Coordination/rhythm transfers into power
Strategically, biomechanically, energetically, chemically. Reality is interconnected and meant to flow, and, the body isn’t an exception.
If alignment is the natural state of reality, won’t an aligned body naturally be beautiful and healthy?
More research required. Maybe I’m just talking out my ass.
Anyway, physical training has been reduced to minimum levels for the better part of the next 3-5 months, except when I absolutely can’t do without pushing something.
Change in behavior currently seems slow, but it’s authentic. I’m not putting on a persona, a clothe, or a state. At any level I reach, that’s who I currently am.
Not worried about “regressing” back to baseline or having to put on an act.
The journey continues.
Another one
Lessons of the day
A functional body is a healthy body and a healthy body is naturally beautiful.
Form follows function.
Regulation of big bodies take time. We can argue that it’s an efficiency issue, but that’s not the full picture.
To regulate such a big body, enough “proper” information and data is required, which can actually be quite expensive, and some only really observed in hindsight.
Regulatory bodies constantly have to play “catch-up”. Then, they struggle to regulate entities (some lager than entire international powers) that move for profit. Most times having to compromise after a shit ton of lobbying and bureaucracy.
Markets will adjust to new information and updates in regulation, which directly affects what people choose to consume. Hence, these entities will do anything to maximize their profits, because they know it’s a game of time — gain as much as possible, given the season. They will do anything to keep ignorance, misinformation, outrightly lying, even when their own internal information and research says otherwise.
And when they’re caught, they simply pay a small price for doing business. But the damage has been done to you, the consumer. And you’re left to fix your shit, or suffer the consequences.
I know you’re curious — why do they still do what they do, even when they might know the truth?
Well, the answer remains the same — Profit. The cheaper unhealthier option is usually more profitable, and, well there’s so much money to be made.
Now, I’m not saying the wealthy are evil or wealth is inherently evil. Simply understand
There are people motivated solely by profit, they don’t give a fuck about you, the world, the environment, nothing. They may provide value, but how valuable is this value, especially to your own interests.
Why do you give your money, your very essence to “value” that doesn’t serve you?
Secondly, stop being sold for the wrong reasons, and, do your own research
Adaptation in and of itself is alignment.
An alignment between the state of external situations and internal environment towards an outcome. An example is handling objections.
The external is the engagement with the other party involved and all the information/data provided, the internal is the goal/purpose you’re handling the objection to guide towards. And knowing how to guide the other party towards the outcome is the internal reflecting back into the external. Both environments shifting, till an outcome (balance) is achieved.
The Inner Voice
The result of the inner world (countless internal processes) distilled into audio format.
I like to think that there is one inner voice, which speaks from the depths of the subconscious, but as it comes to conscious awareness, it gets fragmented. The fragmented voices mirrors various beliefs, with each voice having differing qualities depending on the nature of belief.
The moments when multiple voices plead their case before me are becoming more apparent. Sometimes it’s civil and other times it can get…quite graphic to say the least 
Depending on the voice, it may have considerable influence in my internal world. However, I am still the master. I can choose to keep observing, influence quality of certain voices (volume, tonality etc) or even jump into the battle by consciously influencing my one voice (one of the perks of Khan).
Now, for the reasoning for my second paragraph. There are moments akin to silence in my inner world where my one voice is the observer, inquirer and the inquired. I use “akin to silence” because all other voices are silent, but in the process of my one voice interacting, some other voices are triggered, along with their originating belief and the emotions they spur.
Although it’s still tricky, those moments are moments of conscious guidance where I resolve reconciliation, outright decide what to keep and what to leave, what I want and how I want a sub to express for me.
Another one
Inner world changing so fast, that perception of time is distorted. I’m having moments of expansion and compression spontaneously.
Realizations and change in perception aren’t sudden, they don’t feel new either. It’s like on some level I’ve always known, but I refused to acknowledge them so they don’t get integrated. When the integration really starts, there are signs, but they’re so subtle they could be overlooked.
Then it continues building deeper (not inwards-> outwards). At this point, people’s behavior begin to change to reflect the depth of change. And there will be gaps in consciousness where an irrational but positive acknowledgment of the external world springs from deep within (phrase, thought, image, video sequence, feeling).
Then it keeps building deeper until…boom. A dam bursts open, strings of “truths” begin to stream from within. They can’t be denied, they are numerous, with every single facet craving expression, yet remaining mystical — trying to explain diminishes it. And I can’t let myself do that.
Then there’s a phrase, poem, image that comes from within that bears every facet of my truth. It could be stupidly simple, sometimes it’s arcane, sometimes irrational, other times outright arrogant, yet it makes absolute sense to me.
And it must be expressed. Some will understand, I know some can truly see me, even falsities, which I am scared of.
However, that in itself is also fine.
Why should a strategist lose himself within his strategies?
Why do you still consume information you have decided not to make use of?
Mercy
How can I have mercy, for those that beg me to crush them?
How can I have mercy on goals that need to be burnt through?
How can I have mercy on myself when I live in chains?
Do you really have so much mercy to spare?
You are not God.
Perhaps, this isn’t mercy. This is fear.
Of doing what must be done and being who I Inevitably am.
I’m beginning to oscillate between two dominant states - neutral and then power.
Neutral is currently the most dominant, it’s more baseline, even introspection has been happening here for quite some time.
Then, Power is pure power, radiating throughout my body, in this state I exist solely for conquest. If I don’t move to conquer anything I get restless and I have to move my body - jump, pace around, skip, etc.
Honestly, I’m wondering how I’m going to wait till I refurbish my training process before getting back into the gym 
.
I’m also trying to get a hang on channeling this energy towards my goals. And the nature of my goals demand both the feeling of power and cognitive focus. Quite the conundrum
Within the power state, I’ve observed two ways energy moves. The first one is during arousal and the second is a general power.
During arousal, energy radiates from my dick, like a wave, then spreads throughout my body.
Then in the general state, energy is concentrated at my solar plexus, and then ripples like an electrifying wave through my body, coupled with an edgy flavor of ecstasy close to what I feel in the gym.
In the end both channels have one unifying theme — When I get my hands on you, it’s over
I was able to understand this part when I truly understood the NSE, the results I get increased compared to before, and they just make about sense.
Then this part I understood too, but refused to integrate. Because I refused to come to teens with the fact that I am also another character in another persons reality. I’m the main character in mine and still want to be so theirs, which is frankly impossible from my perspective.
The funny part is I understood the bulk of these, when I began to look into the psychology and true nature of persuasion, then my brain did what it did, it connected the dots between hard psychology and spirituality.
Now, it took it on step further, into understanding the true nature of reality itself.
Conscious guidance and manifestation have never been easier.
The first piece is intent and the clearer it is, the better. That means fully fleshed out, concretely, literally.
The second piece is channeling energy towards the intent, the more energy channeled, the better it is.
Now, you might be asking — what do you mean channeling energy and how is it even done?
Energy is required for anything to be, your body, food, inorganic substances, even the seeming emptiness of space itself. Energy is everywhere, just condensed and expressed into different forms. Therefore, to “manifest” energy must be condensed and expressed as your intent.
It is simply how I’ve observed reality to be and if you ask me why it is so, I currently don’t know.
Bro, stop rambling, how is it done?
Condensing energy
Reason with me for a bit, why are the people most obsessed with their goals so successful at materializing said goals? Steve Jobs, Alex Hormozi, Elon Musk etc
The answer is simple — focus. Focus is wielded attention. Attention by its virtue, directs energy and anywhere energy goes, quite a number of things begin to follow. Obsession is a state of hyper fixated focus towards intention, often cutting out other contending intentions which then feeds more focus into their desired intention. This increasing capacity to direct more energy.
These guys have mastered the skill of obsession and thus have been able to direct energy consistently towards their intents.
Expressing Energy: The Value of Structure
Structure is the vessel through which condensed energy will be expressed and without it, energy directed through attention will disperse back to its base state. Hence, the intent must be aligned with its accompanying structure.
Now, the most valuable part of having structure is that channeling attention can be made even more efficient, this is why economies of scale, laws of leverage and laws of compounding are a thing.
However, bigger structure doesn’t always equate to more efficiency, depending on the nature of the intent, leaner could be lethal.
To bring everything back together
Manifestation techniques usually do a few things
And then, the good old Action taking
Taking aligned action is the structure through which energy condenses into your intent will be expressed, thus your intent is “manifested”