The Black Emperors

This is like a short story type of thing I wrote, for fun lol.

Of course it’s meant as an inside joke.

This is not an accurate representation of Emperor or Emperor Black. I’m just having fun here lol.


Luther: Quick, barricade the doors!

Me and the other Emperors quickly blocked the entry to the Emperor’s Lounge, pushing against the door with all of our combined strength.

Things had gone awry ever since the release of Emperor Black. The shiny object syndrome had unleashed itself across the land of Subliminal Club, affecting stable stackers and experimenters alike.

Many of the old Emperors had switched their stacks, choosing to run the new Emperor Black. A few of us, me included… were able to resist the shiny object syndrome.

The Black Emperors.

They were beguiling beyond comprehension, compellingly dark and majestically dominant. Within their being they possessed insurmountable amounts of raw power, that when combined with their superhuman focus… made them a force to be reckoned with. Very little was known about them, as most of them preferred to remain in the shadows of solitude.

One of the Emperors near me was visibly shaking. Nothing had prepared him to face the invincible power of the Black Emperors.

Wimpy Emperor: There’s too many of them, we’re outnumbered! Let’s just surrender while we have the chance!

Luther: Oh shut up god dammit! Have you even integrated the Emperor script?

Smart Emperor: I think he’s been overexposing, Luther.

Luther: Fucking knew it… SMH.

Smart Emperor: I tried to tell him about the recommended listening guidelines.

Luther: Just shut up man… Now is really not the time for this crap.

BOOM! It was at that moment the lights went out in the Emperor’s Lounge. Complete and utter darkness surrounded us all.

Luther: What in god’s name is going on aro-

Before I could finish my sentence, a pressure with incalculable force slammed the doors open. We all went flying across the room.

The Black Emperors had arrived.

As I crawled through the rubble and darkness, I called out to my fellow Emperors but there was no response.

A smoldering light flickered from out of the corner of my eye.

Luther: Wimpy Emperor? Is that you?

I went closer towards the light… only to find myself face to face with darkness itself.

Black Emperor: Greetings, Luther.

Luther: Who are you?! Reveal yourself!!

Footsteps echoed, as the smoldering ember of light approached. A dark figure emerged from the light.

Black Emperor: Hahahaha

Luther: My brother, what… what have they done to you!?

Black Emperor: Saint and Fire have done a great job. They’ve made me… STRONGER!! HAHAHA

I didn’t waste any time. I quickly unsheathed my Emperor’s blade and lunged after the Black Emperor.

That’s when I felt it. A feeling I’ve never felt before. I could feel his intensely dark and beguiling aura, I could feel his darkness. Such raw power. Such dominance. Such status!! Enough to strike fear into the heart’s of the gods themselves. Enough to invoke the beginning of Ragnarok, the Twilight of the Gods.

The Black Emperor grinned as I moved towards him, showing no signs of fear. There was a quick blur of movement, as he revealed his Black Emperor’s blade. It looked just like mine, but was darker
and glowing with fire.

With one movement of his blade, he managed to disarm me as if I were a mere child. Such a precise movement could only be pulled off with the utmost focus. My Emperor’s blade clanged across the floor as I no longer had anything to protect myself with. I fell to my knees, brutally outclassed.

Luther: Such self-control?! But how??

Black Emperor: I have embraced my shadow, brother.

Luther: What is this madness?!

Black Emperor: This?.. this is Emperor BLACK.

Suddenly, over a dozen Black Emperors revealed themselves from the shadows.

Black Emperor: Join us brother… Embrace the darknessssssss.

Luther: NEVER!!

Black Emperor: So it shall be… -motions to the other Black Emperors-

Black Emperor: Grab him.

Luther: Let me go!! Let me go!!

Black Emperor: You will give in brother… As we all have… Hahahaha.

The shiny object syndrome which I had resisted all this long… had returned with 100x the force.

I resisted with as much strength as I could muster, but to no avail. The rise of the Black Emperors would go down in history forever… and I was to join them.


Welcome to the Black Side, brother.

Nothing will ever be quite the same again! *grins in vantablack *

( And I must say, excellent storytelling, there. I simply could not stop smiling as I read it :grin: )


I’m curious what @honeymonster will come up with soon.

Fucking lol’d

Funny how I was going to say, “Luther” was me reading through the Disc Thread, resisting the urge to jump stacks, until today :hot_face::joy:

Your Black Emperor and the weapons use and descriptions of action remind me of the Eragon series. Particularly the Shade, Durza


Lol same

I feel like you could come up with something cool as well :grinning_face_with_smiling_eyes:


LOL holy shit. You nailed it.

Well not Durza, but I’ve definitely read those books when I was younger and while writing that I was using some type of memory in reference to the type of scenes or writing by Christopher Paolini when it comes to sword fights.

The fact that you came to your conclusion is kind of uncanny but then again this is Subliminal Club so not too surprised LOL


After I submitted the last post, I had the thought, “Well actually, more like the Ra’zac” so that makes sense :slight_smile:

I was a fan of this series for a very long time. Not to say I’m not now; it’s been awhile since I read the books or listened to the audiobooks.

Eragon’s training in magic was catalytic to my personal conception of co-creative power as a kid.

Before that, Star Wars was the series (the books, anyways) that caused me to realize the Buddhic nature of that series. I cannot attest to the disney-fied ones as I haven’t watched the majority of them.

Cool to see another Paolini fan :pray:t4:


I was emphatically obsessed with them when I was little lol. I think I read Eragon in like grade 7 but during those earlier years it resonated so I guess there is that subconscious imprint or something.

Now that I’ve matured, it’s kind of like “meh”… like it’s too cringey and PG for me lol. Not enough violence and sex :star_struck:

Writing wasn’t that good either… he was really young and inexperienced.

But it’s a double-edged sword because there’s a certain type of purity and innocence in the writing that I find hard to explain.

This is where I quote the Ancient Language, but I forgot all that shit :laughing:



Which, interestingly enough, is a custom name I’ve been saving for a joocy one.


These ZP subs are like Eldunari lmao


What a gorgeous Dragon Reborn custom concept :heart_eyes:


As they drag Luther away and disappear into the horizon, a lone figure watches them.

Lion: Alas my redpill brother. You go where I can’t go right now. Hope they don’t blackpill you…no, that can’t happen. It’s Luther. He will survive this.

Two figures silently join him.

Wimpy Emperor: NOOO-

Lion: Silence! You will alert the enemy.

Smart Emperor: How can that be? They are so far away? Do they have spies?

Lion doesn’t reply for a moment. Still in shock for having lost his brother. But he shakes his head and pulls himself together.

Lion: Yes, Smart Emperor. All the black ravens and crows you see flying around. Any of these carrions could be carrying news to them.

Smart Emperor: We should barricade this room. Or what’s left of it.

Lion: No. It’s time for us to leave this place.

Wimpy Kid: And chase after them? We can’t win!

Smart Emperor: We should join with them. Be Black Emperors. Then we can beat them. Use the black rings against them.

Wimpy Emperor: One can’t simply walk into Black Emperor Kingdom.

Lion considers this plan for a moment as Wimpy Emperor trembles in the background. He looks at WE.

Lion: You have come a long way from your first journal, Diary of a Wimpy Kid. It was an awesome journal. Made me laugh out loud many times. And then you became Wimpy Emperor and made me Roll on the Floor Laughing. But now the time of laughter is over. It’s time to prepare ourselves.

Wimpy Emperor: Prepare for what? For war? We are outnumbered and outclassed.

Lion: That is true but the Resistance is still out there fighting the good fight. We will look for them and tell them what happened to our friend Luther. We will then band together with them and go forth to meet the Dark Lords…on our terms.

Smart Emperor: THIS IS MADNESS!


Smart Emperor falls back as if kicked in the stomach. He looks up and sees Wimpy Kid watching him. Then Wimpy Kid stretches his arm. Smart Emperor clasps it and pulls himself up.

Smart Emperor: Man, you are strong. You should change your name to Strong Emperor or something.

Wimpy Emperor: Will request @RVconsultant today.

Lion: Enough of this. Lets depart from this land. Round up the others who are left.

As they leave, Lion looks at the horizon one last time.

Lion: Hang in there, Luther. We are coming for you. We are coming… to join you.

He then turns and leaves. The scene slowly rises to the sky. A flash of lightning is seen and thunder booms.

RAGNAROK has already begun…


If I don’t see a Wimpy Emperor journal pop up at some point…


Edit: ‘Diary of a Simperer to Emperor’



I missed this the first two reads but fuck, this got me rolling :sob: probably because I’ve requested RV a few times myself :joy::joy:


Loved it :smiley:


Luthers story was good but damnn miss your hilarious stories! @DarkAvenger


The above stories end with this conclusion …



Too funny Simon :smiley: :smiley:


Members keep asking me why is this ?

Its basically satire and a metaphorical representation of both Saint and Fire as founders and moderators of the forum.

Saint monitors the forum reading people experiences this is represented as metaphor “Saint is hiding behind the bushes wearing camouflage outfit observing through binoculars”

“Fire smiles with a glint\knowing look in his eyes” Fire is on the forum reading about peoples experiences yet stays silent.


@Deadpool you try this?

I do not drink coffee, only green or white tea.
I am a fast caffeine metabolizer so after coffee I feel anxious.

“The researchers looked at the intake of coffee in general, but also separately at coffee with and without caffeine. All these analyses came to the same conclusions. The effects of coffee covered by this piece are therefore independent of the effects of caffeine. They may be the work of the phenols in coffee, such as chlorogenic acid.”

1 Like