The Adventures of SubliminalUser

Just did an at-home test for the virus and it looks like I got it. I need help.

@RVConsultant @PurpleRT73 @Lion @TheSunlightCaller (thanks for being a frequent reader!)

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Drop your stack and run Aegis Initiative: C19.

It’s not updated yet but it still works. Plus have the meds for it.

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Am in the middle of the washout and I’d expect to recover by the time this washout ends.

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Get well soon, my friend.

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Hmm. Wondering if I’ve run Rebirth long enough (21 days) and that I should instead now try a different healing title to stack with MFO and khan. Maybe the new love bomb for humanity?

Coming Soon: Stack 5b?!?

  • A Love Bomb For Humanity
  • MFO
  • Khan ST1

Where did this come from?

I just came up with the idea for this stack. I originally did not want to switch subs at all during the course of stack 5, but now it looks like we’re going to have to use the labels Stack 5a (for the stack that just ended) and Stack 5b which is coming up on the 27th. The quote below especially got me thinking (despite currently being sick which is impeding my thought):

Neville Goddard said: “Everything depends upon our attitude towards ourselves. That which we will not affirm as true of ourselves will not develop in our lives.”

As many of you know, I’ve been following the Goddard way for a long time now. I don’t think it is an accident that @SaintSovereign decided to quote Goddard here, particularly this quote. A lot of YT videos I’ve listened to and manifestational statements I’ve written lately have been about talking to myself in a much better matter and reshaping myself into a better being.

The Rebirth title was about letting the old man die in the past. With a 21-day run of Rebirth now done, I would say that I’ve done the absolute minimum amount for it to have had a good effect. And I can say that it has helped me start to accept the scripting of MFO.

The point of the Rebirth + MFO combo in particular has been to help me quickly reshape my perception of myself to be the man who finds others. I think ALBFH + MFO can help me do the same, with a different but still Goddardian take. Below I’ve listed some of the top objectives where the bolded one is very much Goddard-style: reshaping my inner conversations to be much better.

I do want that increased self-love because God knows how harsh I’ve been to myself at times.

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A speedy recovery to you…:+1:

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This Stack
Khan St1
Love Bomb for humanity.

It’s gonna be amazing!!

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Due to the shorter duration of Stack 5b, I am thinking of using the “inculcation” listening strategy again, where each listening day can be one of:

  • LBH + MFO
  • LBH + Khan ST1

I may even be experimenting with 5-minute runtimes as opposed to 7-minute runtimes again.

For those curious, Stack 5b’s length is 15 listening days + 4 washout days. This is so that Stack 5’s run is maintained at 45 days. Below I list

  • (21 + 5) + (15 + 4) = 45. This is via the conventional/suggested heuristic of SC, where the original suggestion is “5 days of washout following a 21-day run.” The 15:4 run for part b is interpolated from this.
  • (21 + 3) + (18 + 3) = 45. Is how I’d go if I was following strictly the experimental heuristic for 5a/5b. This is derived from where Saint suggested that 3 days of washout for 21 days may be enough, which suggests a listening:washout ratio of 7:1. I don’t think I’m going to do this, at least not for 5a’s washout since there was so much healing there.

Day 2 of the washout.

Due to the virus, I didn’t go outside or do much for most of today. I will be staying indoors for the foreseeable future. I will not be going to work next week…and my move is next week. Stack 5b is projected to start next week. Along with the cognitive effects of the virus, this means that I will not be able to easily appreciate results from the subliminal bloom that usually comes on these kinds of washouts. Given these particular circumstances would it be better to shorten my washout to 3 days (@SaintSovereign @RVConsultant), stick with 5, or perhaps an intermediary 4 days? There is still a minimum, of course, to prevent scripting overload and to ensure my buffer is ready for the new subliminal LBH (unfortunately no guidance on what the standard acronym should be).

Thoughts still run in my mind. Earlier today I did private writing where I apologized to myself for a lot of things, all centering around the simple fact that I did not give attention to, nor prioritized stuff in the realm of dating and romance for a long time. A lot of stuff there has been more wishful thinking than anything concrete, to be honest. I also had some similar sentiments regarding quitting pmo as well, but it’s not as strong since I have given some effort to it over time. But I was falling back into some traps such as “It’s only going to work when I stay outside all the time.” Well, that to me is clearly untenable right now, because I have to be inside nearly all the time as I quarantine.

I intend to go into this next week with much better intentions, particularly intentions to be consistent in holding desired states as if I already have them. I already feel the virus telling me “you aren’t going to be able to do much buddy” and I want to prove it wrong. Tomorrow I want to do more packing, at least develop a sense that I’m getting somewhere for the move that’s now right around the corner.

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Day 3 of washout.

What can I do right now about my goals while I sit here recovering from the virus? It pains me to be sitting around doing little. Makes me impatient to stop the current washout and start Stack 5b because that would be something.

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I will do a run of just LBH tomorrow.

As I write this, I do not feel good about myself.

Due to my current condition with the virus I have been stuck at home for the past several days. Throughout the weekend I was bored, although I did start to do some packing for the move. In these first few days of the week I did work remotely, though I informed the team of my sickness. I already planned to take the last two days of the week off, however now I think I will take tomorrow off as a sick day.

Not only is the virus giving me a hard time, but also I now feeling mentally burdened. To be clear, I am feeling unwell and am thinking unwell. :frowning:

This train of thought started gaining serious traction today due to another unfortunate video-watching session. The negative feelings that arose out of that really made me think, am I actually happy doing this?..sure I have to stay at home all the time right now due to the virus, but is this really the way to go?..I doubled down on stuff I learned about from EasyPeasy. I reviewed it and looked at a lot of posts from people who had struggled despite reading EasyPeasy and I got inspired to affirm a lot. I spent a relatively large amount of time today to get myself into the right frame of mind, that now I am committed towards being free and living my life without the useless behavior.

I wish eating was more effective at helping me feel better. I’ve lost most of my sense of taste, my appetite has reduced a lot and my stomach bloats way too easily when I eat anything. In some ways it has become a chore to consume so that my body can recover. Yet at the same time it has helped (albeit temporarily) to take my mind off of these crazy thoughts. However here I am again, after having a probiotic :-\

Why else do I not feel good? It is that my enthusiasm for the move has decreased a lot. Moving day is just a few days away and I had to get the virus now? With all of these different symptoms? It is frustrating. I do not feel ready for it due to all the things I have not boxed or packed yet. This is funny because I already know that I won’t be able to complete the move on move-in day; I wouldn’t want to move in while I am still dealing with these symptoms. And in the moments before I sat down to write here, I started to get a little fearful. Fearful that I’m not ready for this move, for this next phase of my life. Where I would not be supported by my family as much. Where I’m gonna need to tackle the challenges coming up on my own. I felt a little scared, like I was about to get pulled away from my oh-so-familiar surroundings into foreign territory.

:confused:

Rebuttal:

It’s not that bad. There’s no specific date I have to leave the house by, just a date when the lease starts. I can move to the place once I am fully recovered. Nobody is giving me a hard deadline to leave this house and never come back. I’m going to be in driving distance of my parent’s place, and yes I can come back to visit at least. The “territory” I’m moving to? I’m going to be living with my best friend. There’s nothing that’s hostile about this situation that I should be worried about. Yea, there are some new challenges that will come up but it’s not as if they were ever going to be fully avoidable. I feel it right now that my sickness, lethargy and numbness is coloring my feelings and view of the whole situation.

But what do I do…

On top of all this, I had some thoughts about how my life is yet “incomplete” since there’s a few key things missing. However, I’m setting those aside right now. It’s unsurprising that not all is at 100% yet, that’s why I’m here at SC. It’s also not productive or helpful to think about those things right now, as they’re neither actionable nor time-bound. Focus on the current situation and what’s coming up over the next few days.

So I’m going to do just that. Recover well, both physically and mentally, and get ready to haul some items!

Plan for tomorrow:

  • Taking a sick day off. I need to let myself rest physically, but also mentally. Working from home isn’t providing that. I also want to do some more packing, which will help me deal with one of the root causes of mental unwellness which is a sense of unreadiness for the move.
  • Run LBFH + MFO.
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Mid-Day Reflection

Listened:

  • LBFH
  • MFO

As planned earlier, today is the first of multiple sick days off. I did this to lighten the load off my mind. Guess what—that worked. Today I am feeling much better about my situation. I wrote about it and how I was feeling, and that helped me process stuff better. In a lot of cases in the past, work helped distract me from the main issues and allowed me to process things in the background. Today that strategy was not in place. Chiefly:

  • I became aware that the packing challenge is not really a challenge
  • I remembered the lesson that anything can change in a moment.
  • I am aware that my current mental irritation is a temporary one—some of the ways my inner voice was talking about it were a bit overblown.

So as expected, not much has occurred today. I’ve been packing at a leisurely pace, and if I’m not doing that, then I’m watching YouTube videos while doing my best to enjoy food.

Subliminal Results?

So stack 5b is characterized by the below:

  • LBFH: A healing title characterized by a lot of self-love.
  • MFO: Manifesting people.
  • Khan ST1: A healing title breaking down all in the way of Khan.

It turns out to be perfect timing that I am running a healing stack. I bet that MFO’s healing part is the one being actively expressed (and healing in MFO is no small portion—that’s the healing of Heartsong, a few modules, and the general healing of the ZP Primer) while I’m in the midst of all this.

When I opened up this journal I was thinking that I should reduce my expectations of observing results during this time because of the fact that I am currently sick, the recovery may take up to two weeks (and so I may not even be going to the office in that time and interacting with others) and I will be focused on the move—which, because of that recovery, is likely to get dragged on for a bit. Stack 5b is projected to be a 15-day run. Even with running LBFH on each listening day, that’s not much time to observe results. That the current stack is directed so inwardly, however, means I am not so pessimistic about observing results. Isn’t the care I am giving to myself today partially from LBFH (which I ran today and the day before yesterday)? Not to mention, a sub can be getting processed for a long time after cessation. Still, I found it curious timing that stack 5b occurs not only after the first and only time I have gotten the virus during the entire pandemic (and we’re in the late stage now)!

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Evening Reflection

I’d say today’s been a pretty good day. The rest I’ve given myself has allowed me to mentally recoup and also get some more items packed for tomorrow.

Now think about how that compares to where you were before Dragon Reborn. You’ve come a long way!

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Great news everyone. I tested for the virus again earlier today and I tested negative. :smiley:

I expect some things to start picking up again after the weekend. I’m perfectly fine still taking things easy


@RVConsultant It’s exciting you mention Dragon Reborn. Man, that was some journey back then. I just got a notification today that one of my posts about the DR got 10 likes. And of course, I was called in recently to talk about my DR experiences. In retrospect, it’s incredible how I dedicated so much of my subliminal listening time to just that sub alone.

DR alone was from December 2020 to July 2021. In other words, if we were to look at sub usage this year I am just now getting to the month where I would have stopped using DR. But instead, this year I have run so many different subs so far:

  • Ascension Chamber
  • Chosen
  • ME
  • Emperor
  • Ascension
  • Paragon
  • EF ST2
  • Primal
  • Khan ST1
  • Rebirth
  • Man Finds Others (Custom)
  • Love Bomb For Humanity

Seeing this just looks even crazier in retrospect that I had run just one multistage during the same months last year. I’m also grateful that I was afforded the opportunity to do such. And of course, it’s valuable to me and the wider community whenever one wants to revisit my journey and see the changes I went through then.

Now, what would it look like if I were to revisit DR ST4 via ZP? Honestly, I don’t know what would happen. I also don’t plan on such a thing anytime soon. Only a life event of great calamity could motivate me to drop everything to do the truly-heavy level of general healing that DR ST4 would focus on.

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Great news. Have a fantastic and healthy August!:+1::clap:

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I initially opened up this journal entry intending to journal quite seriously about the thoughts and feelings I have had throughout the day. However, the hot shower preceding this, as well as the various random funny YouTube videos I got myself into got me off track as well as also a bit more lighthearted. Perhaps it’s a good thing I encountered those, because I realize at the end of the day a lot of these thoughts are just that—thoughts. They simply present a perspective on the current situation, which isn’t that problematic in of itself. Let’s see whether I can describe it all in the span of one pomodoro.

Virus Fears

First things first, what did the virus do? I’ve isolated for a week and I haven’t gone out much at all. The first change was when the move began a few days ago, but even then I wouldn’t really consider that going out much at all. There were periods where I was at the new place by myself, setting things up for hours at a time. What am I getting at? Essentially, weathering the virus became not only a physical challenge but also a mental challenge. This unexpected development seriously threw me off guard. And when I started to search up things like “COVID effects on brain” and read the titles I started to worry. I started to get a bit dramatic, one might say. There’s no conclusive evidence that COVID has a long-term negative affect on the brain, although I have read some headlines about people having “long covid” symptoms related to the brain. But that’s the thing. These are headlines.

I’ve done no serious research into this stuff. I just looked at a few news headlines, a few video titles and then I started thinking pessimistically about the long-term impacts of the virus. That’s one problem in of itself—jumping to conclusions too quickly. A good friend suggested, what if it’s just the extended period of isolation that many people had to endure during the pandemic that is getting mixed up with this? We may be getting that mixed up with the notion of the virus actually changing something physically/chemically in the brain. He’s got a point, and I do agree that being stuck at home has what really sucked. Once I start going out and about again I should see myself getting better.

And look, I’m one of the last people I know who has gotten the virus. Various people I know have gotten it throughout the pandemic, recovered, and gone on with their lives. None of them are experiencing long-term effects as far as I see or know. It’s not that bad.

My action here is to just give myself the physical and mental space to fully recover. I may have tested negative recently, but I feel I should not push myself too hard just yet. And the mental stuff, well I am accomplishing that by journaling here as well as pausing some other threads.

Moving Out Fears

So the other side to the mental challenge recently has been with moving out. I can clearly see that the mental challenges from the virus got mixed up with those of moving out. It’s unfortunate timing that the one and only time I have gotten the virus occurred during one of the biggest events of my entire life.

I got a bit scared about the change. I had a fear of change come up earlier which I helped myself process with some EFT (what a great technique)! In revisiting why I am moving, one reason (among many) for it is that I was afraid I’d never grown up properly if I didn’t move out and live away from my parents for a bit. When I became aware of this reason I became a little sad. “fear of never growing up.” But why would I be sad about this when I am now taking the very step that would resolve that? I found that odd. There must be more to it. Maybe it’s more about the challenges to be encountered in the process. Hmm…

Another thing that disturbed me came from thinking, what does moving out accomplish? Well, one practical reason is that it is a lot easier for me to date and form romantic relationships while I have my own place. Not knocking that. But I started to think ahead more about what I really want out of life. Chiefly, the big thing I felt I wanted next in my life is a fulfilling long-term relationship. After that is to have my own house. But see, owning a house was something I wasn’t thinking of doing until around a decade into the future. Now I can get into why I’ve thought like that for the house—the area where I live is expensive even considering how much my job pays, and I don’t want to be locked down to my area (not sure if I’d stay here when I’d want to move to a house), etc. But examining these thoughts I see some issues.

  • The economic downturn that’s on its way suggests that perhaps housing can crash and it’d be a good time to buy. But even then, where? And would I want to live there?
    • This last question might have a false premise; I don’t necessarily have to buy one to live in, I could buy one for purposes of real estate investment or for a stream of passive income (rent).
    • I also have a fear that I won’t have enough cash on hand when the time comes. I especially would not want that to be known to my parents. Well, I already started stockpiling on cash and not doing much with investing instruments…
  • When I have my relationship and I have my house (which I deferred a decade out)…is that it? Is that really all I am to accomplish in life? This made me feel down like I am some ordinary joe schmoe who doesn’t have any ambitions to do anything great. It felt like I was seriously shortchanging myself and the potential for greatness that I have. To say nothing of the fact that in that short list of two items I didn’t make any mention of accomplishing my life purpose.
    • It reminds me of myself during my school days when I was known as that “smart kid” and not much else. And when I’d go back home and finish my homework I’d just play video games or something like that the rest of the day. (To be fair, being the smart kid very much positively impacted the following stages in ways I felt were important).
    • In seeing this I feel that I should accomplish the goal of having a house much sooner. Be open to real estate investing for purposes of asset value appreciation and passive income. Why limit myself to the idea or belief (!) that I won’t have a house until that far in the future?
    • I feel I owe it to myself to be awesome and very driven towards being a superb and highly accomplished human being. One who serves as a great example to others. I do not want to become complacent after getting the two aforementioned things and letting the rest of my life (existing or potential) fall by the wayside. That to me simply sucks. I want to keep pushing forward.
    • The flip side to the whole “Is that it?” question is that I may be jumping a little ahead. I don’t even have the first aforementioned thing as of this writing. However I think it’s important to question the overall mentality right now since the broader picture it suggests—encoded as beliefs and assumptions that may have been residing subconsciously—would then influence how I go about accomplishing these first two things or perhaps even how quickly I’d accomplish them. Well, I’m telling myself right now—Yes, I can take my time to do these things properly. However, don’t think they are the only things to do. Nor should I feel I can do only one thing at a time.

So yea, that’s where I am currently at. I wonder if LBFH, MFO, Khan ST1 or AsCh has anything to do with these mental developments and internal monologues as of late…

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Rest Day.

In this entry we take another look at my inner machinations. A lot of the mental stresses surrounding my changing life seem to not be here today. Highlights of today:

  • First day back at work since last Tuesday. I was working from home, to be sure. However, this time I was able to get stuff done. I treated today’s workday as a way to test the waters, see how I’m feeling. Well, I feel confident about being able to work the rest of the week. While people have suggested a “two-week COVID leave” I can’t really do that given the current duties of my role, which among other things giving a final evaluation for a direct report by the end of this week.
  • In the evening, I got my mattress set up at my new place and got one of the final pieces of living room furniture set up. What now stops me from fully moving in is that my standing desk hasn’t arrived yet. I don’t have plans to go into the office this week, and unfortunately, my standing desk isn’t arriving until the second half of this week. So I won’t be fully moved in for a bit longer…which is fine, because like I’ve been saying, I want to be fully mentally resolved before doing that.

Thankfully, at no point today did I feel the mental turmoil that I felt yesterday. I can attribute this to the subliminals (healing-heavy stack, remember), journaling, conversations, and rest that I’ve had recently. Sleep is important, too. To be sure, there are still some things I want to deal with and I’ll see where EFT and private journaling can take me before I report back on those.

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