@Leandros @Uber_Elysium @TheSunlightCaller
Thanks, Lads 
A little bit of a recap from the second day of listening (Last Thursday).
Woke up around 6 am, since I started this custom I can’t sleep in anymore. Maybe it has something to do with Stark but it doesn’t matter. Anyways, went out of bed and took a shower. After that took a bit of caffeïne and started going to the gym like I always do. There I am, riding my bike in the sunshine being high on caffëine, and feeling blissful from this nice summer day after a good night of sleep. This lasted for about 10 minutes before I realized something while being on the bike. I’ve been doing this for years now, taking some caffëine and going to the gym to work out in the morning. I quite caffëine for about 3 months to see what it would do and started again about 1 week ago to see the difference.
Now, this is Machine action, Eye of the Storm, and Victory calls working together nicely and smoothly. I realized what a waste of time this is and that I’m trying to get high like junkies looking for crack, Sorry if I’m exaggerating but I can’t see the difference when it comes to trying to feel high without actual results. When we use caffeïne our adrenals are going up like crazy and we get a boost of all these feeling good chemicals like dopamine. But what am I trying to achieve right now? Going to the gym is easy for me, even a very hard workout. And I know that you don’t have to be 6 times a week in the gym to make great gains, hell it’s even better to train just 3 times with loads of rest in my experience as a personal trainer. But I never saw the trick that my mind played with me until I ran this custom. It’s just looking for a high but then in a “healthy” way while still using drugs (Caffeïne).
I kept riding to the gym tho and I was already halfway and thought “Well this is an interesting point, let’s change it up tomorrow and see how it goes”. Went into the gym and had these weights in my hand. And the weirdest thing happened… I could not move the weight… I knew this was not the right action to take, and I knew it would not serve my purpose to be here for 90 minutes while traveling for about 60 min in total because I live remotely away from the city. Put the weight back and started stretching. What I absolutely HATE, I hate stretching but my body has become so tight that I got a shoulder injury that just doesn’t want to go away.
Since then, every time I go to the gym in the morning the same thing happens. It’s this voice in my head that goes “This is not the right action and you know it, this is your way to feel great without achieving anything, Don’t fool yourself”. and the workout just doesn’t feel good and I need to go home to work.
Now I don’t mean that working out is bad, hell no it’s one of the most important things to do. But I can workout in 30min and get amazing results while doing it at home instead of putting caffeïne in my body, Take my bicycle to the gym for 30min, workout for 90, go back for 30, and then have to shower, eat and do all sorts of things before I finally can start working again. It also intervenes heavily with my fasting routines which makes me cognitive sharp. Right now I’m building a morning routine with a fast 20-30min workout and do 3 full body workouts in the week to keep building muscle and getting stronger. I give myself one weekend day to be a morning workout junky because it’s a good way to reward myself for working hard all week long.
Never expected these kinds of results with my custom, It’s very confronting so far but I like it! All my shortcomings and high-seeking behavior are coming to the surface that I’ve never seen before.
