I’m sorry to hear that. Are there people in your life that give you that close bond that we have with our blood bonds? Maybe an uncle/aunt or a partner?
And after this cycle, you will start with DR st3? That will be the moment that you feel things are getting better ;). Much respect to you for sticking on this path and seeing it through. You will make it for sure.
Thanks for your kind words!
Unfortunately no…
I’m on day 6 of first cycle DR3 + LBFH (I’ve switched CWON for LBFH).
It’s going a bit better.
My mother has also died years ago and my dad left when I was 11, so I kind of understand the pain and loneliness that comes with it. Just know that life will get better. Right now I’ve got a great step-dad with an amazing girlfriend that took me in when I came back from Spain. They feel just as close as my real parents and sometimes I still can’t believe how it all happened. Also, a girl that I love to death, it will all work out for you brother.
I believe that the hardship that you experience only happens to the people who can take it and make something out of it. That’s the burden of being a strong man, you are here to learn and grow even more. In time you’ll look back at this period in your life, while having a family of your own, as one of the greatest times in your life. For that I’m certaint my friend 
I’m happy to hear that!
Thanks for this 
DR3 / 1nd cycle, Day 7 / Listening day
LBFH
Things I’ve noticed lately:
Increased emotional sensitivity toward nature - In the last few day I had moments of love/joy for simple things like seeing bees feeding on flowers in my balcony, and even rain. Also feeling very physical sadness after seeing a hedgehog victim of a car.
This this might be a “residual” of CWON used in the second cycle of DR2, if that’s the case I’m seeing the effects after the washout (I didnt see any when listening)
Vocal fluency - This is probably due to DR, I’m not seeing a deepening (my voice is quite deep already), but more power/volume without any effort.
I’ve always been said as someone with a low voice, even though to me it always seemed perfectly fine (often people ask me to repeat what I’ve said)
Better mood and sense of fulfillment - This can be LBFH (after only 4 listens) or Stage 3 of DR. Basically I’m noticing a reduction of self-judgment, hopelessness etc… and an increase in self-love (not in term of thoughts but emotionally and physically)
DR3 / 1nd cycle, Day 12 / Rest day
LBFH
Got some recon yesterday, mainly sadness and anger.
Would say mainly is need for acceptance (due to be alone, not having a partner, etc…)
Also probably getting a bit overexposed, I’ve slept 9 hours the last two days.
Incresing courage to feel/listen to repressed feelings - I guess this is going on since I’ve started DR, but now is getting normal/habitual and very evident.
When recon starts I just feel the need to sit and listen. Distracting or repressing as a way to cope is getting very unnatural.
Effortlessness of meditation - Related to the above but I bet an effect of LBFH. Increased acceptance of whatever is appearing at any moment during meditation.
Also when meditating with an object (usually the breath) much more easy to go deeper into it, beyond concepts, thoughts, images about it.
DR3 / 1nd cycle, Day 14 / Rest day
LBFH
Still in recon. Feeling angry, easily irritable.
Probably do to not having a partner while using LBFH? I’m not sure…
Yesterday I’ve got the intuition of doing metta meditation sending love toward womans in my life. All past relationship, feeling love for my exs and really let em go.
At the end I was easily filled with a sensation of being loved by the universe.
Strangely last night (after the above meditation) I got quite harsh dreams about rejection.
I was sexually rejected by one of my ex gf and felt so damn angry, she was trying to touch me but I was screaming to let me alone.
DR3 / 1st cycle, Day 17 / Listening day
LBFH
Still in mild recon.
Feeling angry, easily irritable, frustrated, judgemental.
This is the main difference I’m seeing right now (ST3+LBFH) compared to previous cycle (ST2+CWON), anger/frustration instead of sadness. 
I feel like “I dont give a fuck” about a lot of things right now, including having a gf, but has said is a angry/frustrated kind of not caring, not freedom from desires…
I think I’m out of overexposure I’ve mentioned before, cause I don’t feel particularly tired anymore.
.
DR3 / 1st cycle, Day 21 / Listening day
LBFH
Last day of first cycle DR3+LBFH.
Was out with friends yesterday evening.
We went to two places where there were other people and in the last one three girls (know by one of my friends) joined us.
I felt so damn out of place all the time… basically since the moment I left home.
They where all there talking and I was just there not knowing what to say, in silence, feeling out of place.
I dont know if this is recon or what, I just hope these sub will actually help solve my problems and not just make a mess of my mind
I’m feeling quite hopeless right now
DR3 / 2st cycle, Day 3 / Listening day
LBFH
The washout went quite easily instead, good mood, and quite carefree
Now, on third day of second cycle and I guess I’m already getting some recon (easily irritable, impatient, judgemental, intolerant to other people’s egoic automatisms).
Again seems triggered but social interaction… un-interactions actually, not receiving interest from others (neither friends) etc
I guess basically the same shit since I’ve begun
Still no particular insights in what my life it is all about
DR3 / 2st cycle, Day 6 / Rest day
LBFH
Still in recon mood I guess…
Today is my birthday. For some reason i never loved celebrating my birthday, it always seemed all so fake.
Nevertheless today I’m fighting between the desire to be alone and that of being noticed, celebrated, listened.
I’ve received the usual "happy birthday"s but they feel so empty.
No one really care to listen.
Happy Birthday. 
Wishing you all the best.
Honestly I’m not even sure why I’m still writing here lol
Happy birthday!
Yeah it was very happy indeed lol
So, a little update cause I’m almost done with second cycle of st4 (now v2) + lbfh.
Lately I’ve been 
Very angry, frustrated, very short tempered, judgmental etc…
Is this supposed to be recon, overexposure or what?
Lol you just described my cycle with st1… At least for me it was when I found myself holding on to the negative emotions of the events DR was bringing to the surface for healing.
For it was in st1, st2, st3 AND st4 
Now, after a year, I let the dragon take a break… at least for winter lol
I think even lbfh turned pale in front of dr ahahah
But if you can meditate regurarly during your dr journey. That, ar least in my case, helped