Sungaze’s journal - Dragon Reborn

Journals - Major Programs
#61

DR3 / 1nd cycle, Day 14 / Rest day
LBFH

Still in recon. Feeling angry, easily irritable.
Probably do to not having a partner while using LBFH? I’m not sure…

Yesterday I’ve got the intuition of doing metta meditation sending love toward womans in my life. All past relationship, feeling love for my exs and really let em go.
At the end I was easily filled with a sensation of being loved by the universe.

Strangely last night (after the above meditation) I got quite harsh dreams about rejection.
I was sexually rejected by one of my ex gf and felt so damn angry, she was trying to touch me but I was screaming to let me alone.

Completed so far
  • 1 cycle DR1+LB+SM (this was before coming into the forum, had very very bad recon)
  • 1 cycle DR1+CFW
  • 1 cycle DR2+CFW
  • 1 cycle DR2+CWON
2 Likes
#62

DR3 / 1st cycle, Day 17 / Listening day
LBFH

Still in mild recon.
Feeling angry, easily irritable, frustrated, judgemental.
This is the main difference I’m seeing right now (ST3+LBFH) compared to previous cycle (ST2+CWON), anger/frustration instead of sadness. :man_shrugging:

I feel like “I dont give a fuck” about a lot of things right now, including having a gf, but has said is a angry/frustrated kind of not caring, not freedom from desires…

I think I’m out of overexposure I’ve mentioned before, cause I don’t feel particularly tired anymore.
.

Completed so far
  • 1 cycle DR1+LB+SM (this was before coming into the forum, had very very bad recon)
  • 1 cycle DR1+CFW
  • 1 cycle DR2+CFW
  • 1 cycle DR2+CWON
1 Like
#63

DR3 / 1st cycle, Day 21 / Listening day
LBFH

Last day of first cycle DR3+LBFH.

Was out with friends yesterday evening.
We went to two places where there were other people and in the last one three girls (know by one of my friends) joined us.

I felt so damn out of place all the time… basically since the moment I left home.
They where all there talking and I was just there not knowing what to say, in silence, feeling out of place.

I dont know if this is recon or what, I just hope these sub will actually help solve my problems and not just make a mess of my mind
I’m feeling quite hopeless right now

Completed so far
  • 1 cycle DR1+LB+SM (this was before coming into the forum, had very very bad recon)
  • 1 cycle DR1+CFW
  • 1 cycle DR2+CFW
  • 1 cycle DR2+CWON
1 Like
#64

DR3 / 2st cycle, Day 3 / Listening day
LBFH

The washout went quite easily instead, good mood, and quite carefree

Now, on third day of second cycle and I guess I’m already getting some recon (easily irritable, impatient, judgemental, intolerant to other people’s egoic automatisms).
Again seems triggered but social interaction… un-interactions actually, not receiving interest from others (neither friends) etc

I guess basically the same shit since I’ve begun

Still no particular insights in what my life it is all about

Completed so far
  • 1 cycle DR1+LB+SM (this was before coming into the forum, had very very bad recon)
  • 1 cycle DR1+CFW
  • 1 cycle DR2+CFW
  • 1 cycle DR2+CWON
  • 1 cycle DR3+LBFH
1 Like
#65

DR3 / 2st cycle, Day 6 / Rest day
LBFH

Still in recon mood I guess…

Today is my birthday. For some reason i never loved celebrating my birthday, it always seemed all so fake.

Nevertheless today I’m fighting between the desire to be alone and that of being noticed, celebrated, listened.
I’ve received the usual "happy birthday"s but they feel so empty.
No one really care to listen.

Completed so far
  • 1 cycle DR1+LB+SM (this was before coming into the forum, had very very bad recon)
  • 1 cycle DR1+CFW
  • 1 cycle DR2+CFW
  • 1 cycle DR2+CWON
  • 1 cycle DR3+LBFH
1 Like
#66

Happy Birthday. :partying_face: :firecracker: Wishing you all the best.

1 Like
#67

Honestly I’m not even sure why I’m still writing here lol

1 Like
#68

Happy birthday!

#69

Yeah it was very happy indeed lol

1 Like
#70
#71

So, a little update cause I’m almost done with second cycle of st4 (now v2) + lbfh.

Lately I’ve been :japanese_ogre:
Very angry, frustrated, very short tempered, judgmental etc…

Is this supposed to be recon, overexposure or what?

Main Disc. Thread - Dragon Reborn ZP
#72

Lol you just described my cycle with st1… At least for me it was when I found myself holding on to the negative emotions of the events DR was bringing to the surface for healing.

1 Like
#73

For it was in st1, st2, st3 AND st4 :sweat_smile:

Now, after a year, I let the dragon take a break… at least for winter lol

1 Like
#74

I think even lbfh turned pale in front of dr ahahah

But if you can meditate regurarly during your dr journey. That, ar least in my case, helped

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#75

I will finish st2 this sunday and the I will focus on EOG + LBFH. No more dragon for me… I just wanted to revisit the first two stages.
DR is such a strong beast… meditation or any emotional healing modality is such a good aid for it.

1 Like